Episode Two-Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Building Trust (Aired 06/10/2018)

Summary: On this episode of Taking a Walk with Resiliency, our topic is actions speak louder than words and this adage’s role in the trust building process. Right off the bat, Ashley points out a huge cognitive distortion that so many people are prone to buying into: trust should be given, not earned. This idea of “innocent until proven guilty” may work in the legal system, but it does not translate to personal relationships. True trust must be developed over time through the mutual investment of both people, so that they both have skin in the game. If you get something for free, you have no reason to treasure and take care of it. You aren’t going to put it on a prominent shelf to be displayed for all to see. But if you work hard for something and commit a lot of time and resources into caring for it, you will cherish it always. In law enforcement, officers are taught to trust no one because human nature is so unpredictable. Assuming anything about a person puts you in a dangerous position. People tend to go through life with their own version of the truth, both objective and subjective, based on their lifetime of experiences and beliefs. It doesn’t help that Hollywood portrays relationships inaccurately, depicting love as something that is always easy and never goes through adversity. But quite the opposite is true. In fact, there are countless examples of relationships in the Bible that were broken or weakened because of the actions of one or both of the people, but those relationships were often redeemed and served a greater purpose. One practical way to build trust and gauge your progress in relationships is to determine set points for yourself to reach. Just as someone would establish milestones for themselves along their weight loss journey, ensuring that they reach their goals and then maintain their progress, the same thought process can translate to relationships. Recognize where you want to be, and when you get there, trust the process to keep you there. Topics Covered in this Episode: •Cognitive distortion •Different ways that people give and receive love •Defining set points for your goals •Live life to the fullest •Continually changing and growing Key Quotes: •“In the process of earning someone’s trust, there is the fear they will violate it.” •“When we drop our guard, we often are disappointed by our expectations.” •“We often confuse loyalty with trust.” •“When actions speak louder than words, they either build trust or take away from it.” •“The more comfortable your relationship is, the more likely you are to not grow in it.” •“Change the way you look at being uncomfortable.” Links: The Five Love Languages: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1555981081&sr=8