fast slaps Hot Pocket

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh brothers and sisters. Prepare for brain farts, we're running on fumes.
Returning from our week long sabbatical, we catch up on THE news: The Slappening. Is it important? No not really, but we'll get our licks in and make fun of everyone. We proceed to talk about Hot Pocket's first Ramadan: goal setting, worshipping with purpose, and fighting caffeine withdrawals is what we do.
And we close things out with two brief articles for our "Dirty Laundry" segment. Roleplaying in the bedroom is cool until........