Reframe & Reclaim with Dr. Jordan Fairley Dr. Jordan Fairley

I've kept it a secret for 9 months and i'm ready to share it with the world. I'm a DAD! 

Dr. Lance von Stade came up with the idea of interviewing me, to take a snapshot in time of what my hopes, fears, values, wishes, intentions, expectations are BEFORE having a baby. 

This is recorded 6 days before our baby's due date. 

My wife and I decided to not make any social media posts, we only told friends and family. Now I get to share it with all of you, if this podcast was posted, it's because we have a baby!

We go deep into what my fears are, what fatherhood role models would I like to emulate, what are my intentions for for the birth process, who do I hope my child becomes, who do I want to be for my child. 

This is a very conscious step into setting the intention for "Conscious Fatherhood" 

I'm very happy to share this with you. 

Thank you Dr. Lance von Stade for facilitating this interview. 

We try to work hard, we show up for others, we maintain good values and habits and yet still we feel frustrated, annoyed, fearful, or disappointed in our life.
When things don’t go the way we planned or other people continue to let us down; it’s often because our expectations are not being met.
So what can we do?
First, I believe it’s important to understand the difference between INTENTIONS AND EXPECTATIONS
And second, if we can get in the habit of SETTING CLEAR INTENTIONS we will be more in charge of our life, rather than just reacting to how life happens to us.
To put it simply INTENTIONS are structure and direction of the energy and actions we put out into the world; and EXPECTATIONS are the thoughts, hopes and wishes that we attach to the energy we put out. Ie. what we hope happens.
Whenever we feel disappointment, it is often because we are attached to the desired result, the expectation.
Though the reality is we DON’T HAVE CONTROL over the actions of others, we can’t control things outside of ourselves, other people, or our surroundings.
What WE DO HAVE CONTROL OVER is our own intention, our own actions, inactions, thoughts, and presentations to the world.
So, what are your intentions?
How are you starting your day?
Can you relinquish your expectations?

How to Cultivate Your SUPERPOWER of Introspection for Greater Mind-Body Connection 

With Dr. Lance von Stade, owner of Golden Gate Chiropractic Center in San Francisco CA, Co-Founder and Lead Facilitator of Kairos Training Culture, CEO of Athlete on Purpose.

If you are looking to support Men’s Mental Health with Project 13 Movember Fundraiser you can find more information at https://www.project13gyms.com/

and https://us.movember.com/



5:40

How Dr. Lance developed from being known as the expert in Movement and Human Performance to now being sought out as a speaker on Non-Violent Communication, and Trust.

The Ladder of Physical to Emotional Awareness:

When the quality of your movement is no longer the rung of the ladder of health you are climbing, when you know how to move, eat, recuperate and your needs for safety and sustenance are met, then you can become more aware of how you talk to yourself, how present you are, and the feelings you experience on a daily basis.



11:40

How do you start to cultivate an experience of asking the question, “How are your physical ailments affecting your life?”

The Advocacy Process for Understanding the Connection Your Emotional and Physical Body­­:

Most people tend to put others before themselves; so how can we advocate for others.

1. What is on your mind right now (physical body)?

2. How is that starting point related to areas above or below that?

3. Have you noticed how your body changes shape in different emotional states? (sad, boastful, fear, etc)

4. Do you notice that when you are in different emotional states that these physical ailments are different?

5. Are the loads of stress in your life contributing to the life you want to live?

6. Notice are the loads of stress in your life matched by the quantity and quality of your recuperative strategies.

If not, you will suffer symptoms.



17:45

How you can connect the dots between physical and emotional needs; and distinguishing the difference between self and emotional states from others.

Non-Violent Communication

https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Marshall-Rosenberg/dp/1892005034



21:00

Do I Even Care?

Resources:

Crucial Conversations

Motivational Interviewing



25:00

Introspective look at YOUR observations, feelings, needs and requests



25:40

The SUPERPOWER of introspection

Are you able to notice that your state changes, and immediately react, or notice the state change as a stimulus itself, and choosing how you want to react.



29:00

How do you start to cultivate greater introspective to notice what you are noticing.

Book: A New Earth by Ekhart Tolley

1. Stimulus

2. Story

3. Are you aware that you are the observer witnessing that you are the entity creating the story?



Connect with Dr. Lance von Stade

www.drlancevonstade.com

www.drlances.blog

drlancevonstade@gmail.com

IG: @drlancevonstade

You're probably a lot like me, in that you are seeking an even greater life experience, you want to create a change in the world, and you love to create things that serve humanity. 

AND also like me you probably get stuck in wanting to make things PERFECT. 

These two questions have helped me gauge when something is complete, and also how to get my creation out to the world. 

The first question is "Am I Proud of It?" and the second "Is it Good Enough, For Now?" 

these have helped me find balance between releasing something I am really proud of, and knowing that I can always update, add to, or change something in the future without getting stuck in the procrastination of ideation. 

Your experiences and the emotions that you have will shape and mold the person you become. 

It's important to know that it's ok to feel sadness, anger, hurt, AND it's important to know that if you don't process these thoughts or emotions then these thoughts will become our emotions, these emotions will become our mood, our mood will become our temperament, this temperament will become our personality, over time our personality will shift our personal REALITY.

If your personality isn't serving you, know you have the opportunity to create change. 

This change will occur when you can go through a process of UNDERSTANDING what has shaped the stories you tell yourself, the experiences that shaped your personality, and the environment that molded your personal reality. 

with this understanding you get to rewrite the stories you tell yourself. 

Our stories are what shape our life, they provide meaning to our experiences and lessons learned and they help connect with others at a deep level, through true authenticity, vulnerability, and our own meaning...

we can move audiences, shape the trajectory of our life and get people to take action. 

The problem is most of us don't know how to share our stories, we think others won't want to listen, and we think don't know how to share in a way that motivates or inspires others. 

In this episode I share the POWER of story, how I will continue to let my grandpas legacy live on through story telling and how YOU can harness the power of your own stories!