245 episodes

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

The Covert Narcissism Podcast Renee Swanson

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.8 • 548 Ratings

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

    Self-Care After Dealing with Covert Narcissism

    Self-Care After Dealing with Covert Narcissism

    When you’ve been living with a covert narcissist for many years, your self-care is almost non-existent. You don’t have the time, energy, mental capacity, or freedom to take care of yourself. Any efforts at self-care may have been labeled as selfish. Over the years, you've paid a high price for trying to even do the bare minimum of caring for yourself. It just isn't worth the price. Robbing you of the right to care for yourself is abuse! No one should ever have the right to take that away from you. Self-care is a beautiful part of life. In this episode, Eleanor Marks and Renee Swanson explore ways to reclaim that self-care. Tiny steps forward are momentous. Celebrate these.
     
    #covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #podcast

    • 21 min
    What Covert Narcissists Say and What They Actually Mean

    What Covert Narcissists Say and What They Actually Mean

    "I love you" does not mean the same thing coming out of a covert narcissist as it does when you say it. For non-narcissistic people, "I love you" means I care about your thoughts and feelings. I love when you are happy, peaceful and relaxed. I want what is best for you. I care about you.
     
    For a covert narcissist, "I love you" is not quite the same. For them, it means I love how YOU make ME feel. I love what you do for ME. I love the attention that you give ME. I love it when you are happy with ME. I care about your thoughts and feelings about ME. I want what is best for you, and it is 100 percent ME.
     
    When talking with a covert narcissist, they are absolutely using a different language than we are.
     

    #covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #podcast

    • 18 min
    What is Cognitive Dissonance and What to do About it (Special Throwback Episode)

    What is Cognitive Dissonance and What to do About it (Special Throwback Episode)

    Survivors of covert narcissistic abuse feel like they are going crazy. They often tell me that they are losing their mind. They don’t know which end is up, what reality is or what to do next. They are often frozen in self-doubt and confusion.
    This is because of cognitive dissonance. In this episode, I am going to help you understand what cognitive dissonance is, why it happens, and what to do about it.
    Cognitive dissonance is when a single individual holds conflicting attitudes or beliefs within themselves. This goes hand in hand with living with a covert narcissist. It creates that fog that you hear so many talk about. Coming out of the fog is coming out of the cognitive dissonance.
    You have forgotten what life is supposed to feel like. You have forgotten how to relax and enjoy the beauty of life. You have forgotten what it feels like to be you! It is time to remind yourself!!
    I wish you much peace on your journey of healing!

    • 25 min
    Covert Narcissism: His Trauma Became Our Trauma

    Covert Narcissism: His Trauma Became Our Trauma

    Trauma causes people to make changes in the way they interact with their world. Emotional abuse is traumatic. It takes away one's perception of safety. When we experience trauma, our system will work hard to re-establish a perceived sense of safety. Thus we pick up survival skills that can become walls between us and others. What behaviors do we pick up in response to covert narcissistic abuse? What about our kids? What traits are they picking up?
     

    It is so crucial to do some trauma healing, for yourself and then learn to help your children. I have recently become certified in trauma coaching. I do offer individual trauma-informed coaching. It’s time to help our kids while they are still young. I will be focusing more on this in my podcast. Visit my website at http://www.covertnarcissism.com It’s time to break these cycles. I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.

     

     #Parenting #covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #podcast 

     

    • 19 min
    Financial Abuse Disguised as Compassion

    Financial Abuse Disguised as Compassion

    Financial abuse and manipulation can come with the appearance of being loving and caring. Covert narcissists will say that they are doing this “for your own good.” In the guise of helping you, they use and abuse you. At the same time though, there is just enough truth in what they are saying to convince you that they are right. This tiny speck of truth activates your compassion, causing you to feel guilty for doubting them or questioning them. Instead you take all the blame and work harder to fix your perspective.
     
    In this guest episode, Crystal shares her story of financial abuse. In her words he was a “serial entrepreneur who gave her a great sales pitch.” 
     
    #Parenting #covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #financialabuse 

    • 20 min
    Exploring a Different Perspective of Codependency with Ross Rosenberg

    Exploring a Different Perspective of Codependency with Ross Rosenberg

    Today, we have the author of The Human Magnet Syndrome, Ross Rosenberg. I talk with him about his new book, The Codependency Revolution: Fixing What Was Always Broken. 
    What is this monster called codependency that no one seems to understand? It is so hard to understand narcissism, and it is equally hard to understand codependency. In Ross’s words, “I see codependency as a relationship problem, not an individual problem. A codependent is defined by their choice of relationship partners. To understand codependency, you have to understand pathological narcissism.” On this dive down the rabbit hole of narcissism, let’s also dig into the concept of codependency.
     
    https://www.selfloverecovery.com/

    • 29 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
548 Ratings

548 Ratings

Beachcat77 ,

Family narcissism can be very dangerous and contagious

After listening to only a few of these podcasts it’s quite familiar what I’m hearing from the show “stopping the self doubt and how to become narcissist resilient” this is so true it makes me gag, because I have dealt with abuse from my mom my entire life. I have not known any better and I fell into a narcissistic relationship with my bf for 11 years. We have lived together since 2021. We rent a house from my mom that she is in charge of, since she took ownership away from her cousin’s childhood home that he grew up in it. I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THEY USED TO PLAY HERE TOGETHER AS KIDS. My mom is going take possession and ownership of her cousin’s dad’s house as well. She owns her house that she lives in by herself, but when her cousin dies she’s going to sell all 3 houses, and buy one house for herself. I have NO DOUBT my mom is a CON ARTIST, because she’s been collecting his veterans cash benefits for years, and she has also taken out a LIFE INSURANCE POLICY on him, so she can eventually buy a house near my narcissistic sister who is her…FIRST DAUGHTER. Oh but wait there’s more…my mom SAID she doesn’t want to work, but she started working July 2023 with a Home Health agency they pay her $14.00 an hour originally 3 hours a week, but since I quit helping her now she’s working 9 hours a week. When I was younger my mom would not let me live at home. She conned me by taking full control of my disability benefits and used my money for herself.

GRJNS ,

Gradually...

Much relate with concept of pain buildup over time, hardly notice change.

BD1ddy ,

Validating, insightful, empowering

Along with AJ Mahari’s podcast, “Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups,” this series by Renee Swanson has helped me a great deal. I am recovering from a toxic romantic relationship with an undiagnosed person with BPD (and co-morbid possibly NPD). Three months after going full No Contact, I am still suffering immensely. Nearly ever aspect of my life was upended and I’m a shell of my former self. I also was raised by a parent who is undiagnosed but who demonstrates many traits of covert narcissism. I have no doubt that the NPD parent programmed me (unintentionally and subconsciously) to seek out a Cluster B romantic partner. These two podcast series validated my feelings, which I desperately needed. They helped me understand my own flaws which make me susceptible to these Cluster B types of people. They showed me I’m not alone, I’m not overreacting, that I wasn’t at fault, and that there is a path to recovery. Renee and AJ have given me hope when I had none. Thank you!

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