Grief, Growth & Goals Podcast Luvenia Marie Wilkerson

Season 1 was about Self-Expression - Coming into awareness and being able to name and identify the tools of my liberation work.
Join me as I reminisce on the first season of the Grief, Growth and Goals podcast, where you all have gotten to know a bit more about me, my family & how we got Radical about Self Care with Raeven, how we are unlearning those things that no longer serve us, to heal and discover ourselves as well as learning to fail out loud on the way to success as Tiffany said it and how we were dreaming and manifesting with Logan.
Also a big shoutout to my podcast team!
Season 2 Deschooling - Discovery & Recovery - The new season will be more about how I am using 3G (Grief, Growth and Goals) as tools to move forward - This time around, we move to focusing on the GROWTH aspect of 3G.  Our life in motion: come along with us as we flow into a change-up for the second season! We will be doing more of this raw footage with real life background sounds as me, my tribe, our lives shift in motion as talent and creatives living, moving, being, unschooling, deschooling, working and growing.
We will have 2 monthly GATHERINGS, where the 1st Gathering will be with me as your host and I will get us in motion! Super excited to have you join us and see how it all comes together. On the 2nd Gathering, we will go live wherever I will be! 
Stay tuned on IG 3Gpod and FaceBook. 
Getting Patreon together and will share the link on the website and socials as soon as it is ready!
This is the new talk show I was telling ya’all about: Peace of mind with Taraji

“Vulnerability is freedom, it is healing, it is powerful, it is necessary!” declares Raeven!
 
In this episode, as always, Lou gets into some deep and honest conversation with Raeven Western - a Mother, Model and Coach! 
Some of the beautiful gems that surfaced during this episode are curated below, BUT it is all the more beautiful to listen in and distill your own take-aways….there may just be something that speaks directly to YOU!
 
When we share on public platforms, is it opening us up to connect or for critique? Push the critics aside and create connection through vulnerability.  Let the uncertainty open up and just embrace it. 
“Doing the work” , the inner work, is part of the journey of establishing an honest relationship with ‘self’.  Find joy in the journey of growth and stretching your capacity beyond your mind’s limitations.
The need and the necessity for REST is key to a healthy self and recognising when you need to rest, is part of healing.  The idea of seeming ‘crazy’ to others, can be a display of your inner brokenness sometimes, but allowing the raw pain space to come undone and then loving yourself back to healing is all part of your self-care journey.
 
IMPORTANT to note in the self-care journey;it’s a must in fact:  is an ongoing process of “filling up your cup”, strengthening your spirituality, keeping aligned with your wellbeing. The importance of feeling good from the inside out!!!! That’s the key on this journey.
The importance of using resources to fulfil and provide the necessary self-care practices. Trusting the process and being radical about your self care.  Recognising that there is growth in imperfection and the importance of breaks, boundaries and balance. Taking space and allowing healing to happen in increments.
The one thing that Raeven and Lou agree on is reminders to give ourselves Grace and Hugs  all the time!
Learning to prioritize your self-care and honor the relationship with self is a giant motivator to grow forward without seeking perfection, but getting up to par with moving forward toward your dreams and goals!
Keeping friends around that encourage and support you and also sharing things with friends of support is like planting a seed.
Raeven and Lou chatted about the challenges of learning to navigate the new space of homeschool, virtual learning, living and being together with our children.
Giving our children the space to grow and learn themselves, but also giving breaks and grace to our children and ourselves so they see a good model of the self-care relationship.
Moving forward from moments of tension by allowing authenticity and vulnerability to flow.
The importance of having mama friends and gleaning from their experiences can inform your own parenting journey.
How pouring into yourself is the greatest motivator. Taking care of the Self and your spirituality, however that translates for you. 
 
Filling the spaces of gratitude, love and purpose is what keeps us going...How about you? Leave a comment and let us know what your self-care looks like.

We continue on from Episode 5! But before we do, let’s appreciate the depth of this 3 part series with Tiffany. 
It has been a beautiful unfolding of so many life lessons, that I thought it only apt to reflect back on episode 4 & 5 before moving into episode 6 today. Here are some of the thoughts and ideas that I am sitting with and processing.
Learning to show up as our whole selves instead of shrinking back to feel safe, be safe, and or accepted in spaces Allowing children to develop in a confident autonomous way. (An idea of what this could mean is they can think for themselves, govern themselves, lead and guide themselves from learned and practiced living experiences.) How we can heal and feel our way through the healing. How friendships, sisterhoods and community are beneficial in the healing process. How relationships can be challenging but holding space for the ones we love and allowing them the space to heal and process things. Allowing Individuals to develop. That’s GRACE! Having those hard conversations with our children. The trauma those hard conversations can cause. The trauma and the impact of the altercation with the police at the store, while on the homeschool camping outing, had on Tiffany’s oldest son. That incident TRAUMATIZED her son!!! The Elephant in the room: Being the DISRUPTOR!  Working through the hard truth of what some of us experience by walking a different path. The struggle of routine. How you can pass in spaces until “you don’t” - pass for white or pass for fitting in. Letting go of the planned outcome for our children. Allowing children to grow and develop. Realizing, we as parents can be “too much” for our children. How do we leave room for them to figure it out without crushing them or their spirits.  How loving our children can help us to love ourselves. The importance of having patience when entering spaces. Then being open and patient enough to see what you don’t understand, yet. The importance of having something to pull on when you’re at your lowest. We need something bigger than ourselves to believe in when we are low and pressing through the mess in life.  Understanding the importance of vulnerability. When we are vulnerable, we find our people.  Not being afraid to fail out loud! Checking in with everyone listening to see if we want to let these episodes marinate a li’l more and start some small intimate circles to chat more and hold space.
 
And now, for episode 6! Listen to my fun conversation with Logan and then Tiffany expands on their experience in the modelling industry.
We hear about Tiffany’s experience as a child model and how that informed her own knowledge about the behind the scenes. Being in the middle of adults’ emotional tumult was quite scary and overwhelming for her.
Her intuitiveness to hold off with getting Logan involved in the business came from how well she knew her son. His personality would not handle corrective direction or even the harshness of the industry. And the hours were too long for him when he was younger.
Tiffany shares the story behind how Logan first became interested in a thing such as modeling. In Logan’s own words: “It looked kinda cool!” 
He was looking through pinterest for a hairstyle when he was 3 years old and he asked his mom what these kids were doing? ‘I want to do that!’ And eventually Tiffany realized he was talking about modelling and she explained it to him. Logan then decided he wanted his own YouTube channel.
Both mums realise that their sons - Azaria and Logan -  are motivated by money and that’s how they drive their modelling careers and other interests.
It has been real and deep and so profound. I do hope y'all will reach out and let’s start those deep inner circles that help us extrapolate all the wondrous gems from this series into our own stories, as we navigate this journey of life.
Until next time...

This is a continuation of Episode 4, and if you listened to it, then you know you’re in for a thrill!
 
Tiffany tells us about how being a risk taker has kept her off the ‘safe’ path and let’s her live life on her own terms, even if it means falling on her face!
Now that her daughter is 23 and living independently, Tiffany affirms that unschooling really works, and her daughter is how she is witnessing that.
 
We also talk about parenting from the perspective of how she was raised and learning to parent in a way that allows children to just be and to experience life knowing they are loved unconditionally.
Tiffany goes deep about the relationship she has with her eldest and how that has informed her pivot with her other two children. There were references to how Tiffany lays out things in her ‘creative’ mind with laser focus and her children support her despite not agreeing. The shift of power in the relationships between them is empowering. 
Tiffany elaborates on how learning and understanding how societal norms that dictate are not the be all and that it can be “this” and “that” at the same time. It doesn’t have to be one or the other in life.
You’re going to hear about how she drank all the ‘kool-aid’! 
What does self care mean? And what practices are the go to? Getting back to indigenous culture and allowing friendships to reign us in when we have let go of ourselves.
This episode is real, raw and relatable!

Tiffany is an unschooling mama of three who believes in failing out loud!
Spouse : Jorge.  Kids: Jade 23/ Dylan 17 & Logan
Tiffany became Co-President of the Homeschool Association of California when she approached the very white board to ask for a seat for BIPOC representatives, but they left the table!
Her podcast is an organic space where she gets to be her unfiltered self.
 
We chat about how her children have always been unschooled and never went to school. We go into what that looks like. Tiffany talks about how she swallowed all the colonised versions of childcare advice because she didn’t trust herself. Until she had a wake up call with her son!
 
We chat about her upbringing and the abuse she suffered and how she found herself reading unspoken cues to protect her siblings.
We talk about questioning ideas and beliefs we hold dear and true and where they stem from and if you need to still hold onto them.
We talk about the fear of failure and how it sucks but now Tiffany has embraced it.
Tiffany talks about how covid19 has brought her childhood traumas to light and the grief and hardship of losing everything is now allowing her to explore her unhealed trauma wounds.

This episode is real and raw! 
Lou gets real about her discovery and journey to spirituality. 
We gon’ hear how the practice of Yoga & Stretching helps to ground her and open her up to experiencing life more fully. 
{By the by... the correct name of the group for the wonderful music Lou references, was “Beautiful Chorus” NOT Black Chorus.}
Then the deep and raw exploration of letting go of guilt and shame; of ideas that no longer serve nor resonate with her being, rounds out to how Lou deschooled her own understanding of and relationship with religion & cultivating relationship with the Creator - God power.
In the search of truth and building courage to speak her truth as a black woman raising black boys, Lou started trusting the process by using her intuition to help her navigate this new terrain.
Lou drew strength and felt empowered by the strong parental love she received in  her childhood that gave her a sense of self-awareness and purpose.
Naturally, with the current climate around the world, Lou is continuing to use tools of awareness, conscious eating, yoga/stretching and other practices to heal herself and understand the connection to how she lives and how she wants to feel.
Question everything - that’s the real learning, the real connection, the real journey.




Links :
Dem Black Mama’s Podcast
@demblackmamaspodcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dem-black-mamas-podcast/id1210253100
 
Beautiful Chorus playlist by Nicholas Mangeya https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/beautiful-chorus/pl.u-oZylKzeTqVALzx
 
Music credit for “Fux Witchu” @akeemmuzikbeatz IG
 
Episode Art photo used @tonithai IG