Hard Conversations: With your integrity, sanity (and family) intact

If you thought Halloween’s episode about fear was scary, you aren’t ready for the Holidays. 

Grandma/Mimi/Nana in the kitchen: Well, if YOU prefer a DRY turkey, fine! Brother/Sister/Cousin at the supper table: Yeah, remember that time you [insert embarrassing made-up bullshit here]. Crazy Uncle Joe watching the game/parade: pro/anti-mask rant on repeat. Loopy Aunt Lucy over coffee and dessert: you push your kids too hard/not enough. Spouse/Kids on the drive home: I am NOT doing that again next year. 

Navigating irritating, awkward, unwanted conversations—whether at the holidays (Stasha) or on any day (Cheryl)—takes skill and prep. Stasha shares her go-to phrase (see below in the notes) to stop, pause, or pour-the-gas on anyone who insists on pushing her buttons. Cheryl goes deep on habits she’s working on to up her communication game. 

But the most important thing to know is this episode isn’t about political or controversial views, or any views really. It’s about how to HAVE views, TALK about them, and keep your integrity, sanity, and relationships intact.

So grab a calming beverage—hot toddy anyone?—and enjoy an easy conversation about hard topics.

Cheryl’s Cocktail

•  Red Raspberry Cocktail
• 1.5 Raspberry infused vodka
• Fresh Lemon Sour or Lime
• 1 oz. Proseco
• Top off with water

  Stasha’s Mocktail

 Kombucha and sparkling water

RESOURCES AND NOTES FROM THE SHOW

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

• Habit 1: Focus and act on what you can control or influence instead of what you can’t.
• Habit 3: Put First Things First (Prioritize the relationship if it’s an important relationship.) 
• Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

How To Debate Politics Without Being a Complete Jerk, by Mitchell Labiak

9 Tips for talking about politics without ruining relationships, by Jerry V Walker III, PhD, Psychology

Stasha’s go-to phrases for any contentious or difficult topic someone brings up. 

 Embrace and PRACTICE the three versions of this phrase:

 “Let me stop/pause you right there……”

•  I’m having a great time and really don’t want to talk about [this issue] today. Perhaps another time? 
•  Just to let you know, I’m happy to have a conversation about [this issue] but not an argument. If it starts to overheat, I’m going to stop talking, smile, then get up and walk away.
• Just so you are aware, I’m in the MOOD to get into [this issue] today. If you want to keep going, I’m TOTALLY down with it, but you should know that I am not going to stop.