Holding the Fort Abroad

Rhoda Bangerter
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Holding the Fort Abroad

Holding the Fort Abroad is the podcast for expats with travelling partners. Discover how families find creative ways to maintain relationships when one partner/parent works away more frequently, whilst the non-travelling parent juggles responsibilities at home amid their own pursuits. Through deep and often humorous conversations, my guests - experienced expats, therapists and researchers share their wisdom with us all. Even without a travelling partner, you’ll find valuable gifts here for your life abroad. Find out more...

  1. Creating a Life for Yourself - with Margaret Ghielmetti

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    Creating a Life for Yourself - with Margaret Ghielmetti

    Synopsis:Margaret Ghielmetti knows what it is like to be home alone when she thought she was moving abroad with her husband and not moving abroad waiting for her husband to come home. She talks about her journey from thinking she would be fine to the reality she encountered to finally being open about needing help and creating a life for herself on her own terms. In this Episode:  The metaphorical life handbook we receive from our families.Why Margaret was surprised by the effect of her husband’s travelling although she (thought she) knew what she had signed up for.Supporting each other when not in the same place. Expressing your needs.Sharing the blessing of allowing others to help us.Stop saying ‘I’m fine’.Deciding non-negotiables for you! Keeping soft boundaries.Casting a wide net.Feeling lonely when you feel you should be feeling lucky. Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:     Brene Brown/The Anatomy of TrustGuidebook ‘Asking for help’ Contact Margaret:‘Bravi(ish): A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist’ www.margaretghielmetti.com

    37분
  2. #2: An episode to share with your Parents & In Laws - with Helen Ellis

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    #2: An episode to share with your Parents & In Laws - with Helen Ellis

    Synopsis:Helen is NOT an expat, she is the mother of expats, a long distance grandparent and the author of a series of books on distance relationships between grandparents, distance sons and daughters and distance grandchildren. One of Helen’s children was an expat with a travelling partner. This episode is a conversation being a distance grandparent when your expat child is solo parenting. In This Episode:The importance of generations understanding each other in distance familiesBeing available but keeping boundariesDistance Parents/in Laws are all different ! Advice for Distance Parents How a Distance Child can use this advice to ask their parents/in laws for helpWhat if you have a difficult relationship with Parents/In Laws ? Resource Mentioned in the Episode:Being a Distance Grandparent by Helen Ellis5 Love Languages by Gary ChapmanIt's All About Relationships by Karen L Rancourt

    33분
  3. #3: He Was Gone 85% of The Time - with Claire Hauxwell

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    #3: He Was Gone 85% of The Time - with Claire Hauxwell

    Synopsis:Claire Hauxwell is a professional badass (accompanying supportive spouse), writer, and coach. A trained Supply Chain professional and ex-spreadsheet lover, she now puts her Type A personality to work by deconstructing the nuances of expat life. With more than a decade of global living experience, Claire shares her wisdom on the blog – My Theory On Blooming, and coaches female expat accompanying spouses to create fulfilling and intentional lives abroad. If she’s not roaming the aisles of the grocery store or meandering the forest with her dogs, you’ll find her sweating it out at CrossFit or having cocktails with friends. Claire and her family currently live in Switzerland, but return to the shores of Muskegon, Michigan every summer for a taste of home. On this podcast she shares her expat story through the lens of life with a partner who travels for work. In this Episode:    Claire begins her story as an accompanying spouse with a newborn and a toddler in a new city with a husband gone for work most of the time. Missing birthdays and big dates(stay tuned, this comes up again at 30)The importance of organising help with childcare. Transitions when your partner comes home from a trip.Keeping your partner in the loop when they are awayWhat Claire would say to a new mum, in a new place, with a partner who travels. Mentioned in this Episode: Guidebook ‘Asking for help’

    40분
  4. #4: Life as Holding the Fort Dad - with Robert H

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    #4: Life as Holding the Fort Dad - with Robert H

    Synopsis:Robert has many different skills, he’s been in the military, he’s been a teacher, he is trained as an engineer and he is the dad of two wonderful girls. He gives us his perspective as a Holding the Fort Dad and gives some fantastic tips on parenting too ! In This Episode:      Robert’s life before becoming a Holding the Fort DadBeing the only dad in Mother & Toddler groupsStagging on & Staffing off: the importance of getting rest. The value of retrainingTop tips on having a female au pair when mum is the one travellingBatch cookingTaking care of an elderly parent as wellAdvice to dads whose partner is about to be away a lot for workThe importance of having other adult contact Resources:www.mumsnet.com - a wonderful resource for getting answers to questionsDyscalculia

    44분
  5. #5: Facing the challenges of expat life, together - with Vivian Chiona

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    #5: Facing the challenges of expat life, together - with Vivian Chiona

    SynopsisVivian is the founder of Expat Nest, an online counselling service for internationals. She is a registered psychologist with Master’s degrees in both Child & Adolescent Psychology and Health Psychology. She was recognised in 2020 as one of the 100 most influential women in the world by Women appreciating Women. She is bicultural with family all over the world, Vivian is familiar with the international community and inspired by its diversity. In this episodeVivian’s goal - providing an empathetic and comforting environment in which expats feel heard and understood and helping deal with the challenges of expat life. Multi-lingual and expat specialised: how and why Expat Nest works. Difficulties that Vivian often sees with people living in split locations. Vivian’s top tips for couples and families living in split locations.Why get in touch with a therapist?Vivian’s top recommended resources. Resources Mentioned‘Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds’ book by David C. Pollock & Ruth E. van RekenFamilies In Global Transition ‘Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere’ book by Lois J. Bushong‘Holding The Fort Abroad’ book by Rhoda Bangerter ‘Solo Parenting Expat Mums’ Facebook groupThe Tandem Nomad Podcast by Amel Derragui'In Transit’ (formerly Expat Happy Hour) podcast with Sundae Bean Contact VivianExpat Nest

    37분
  6. #6: Parenting together long distance - with Sharoya Ham

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    #6: Parenting together long distance - with Sharoya Ham

    SynopsisSharoya Ham is a behaviour change specialist and founder of Embrace Behavior Change. She is also a licensed teacher with over 25 years of experience working with at-risk students and their families. Her favourite career, however, was as a stay-at-home mom. She attributes her three amazing sons who are now 18, 20, and 23 for teaching her endless lessons about parenting. Sharoya is an American who hails from the state of New Jersey. Over the past 15 years, she and her husband and their three sons have lived in six African countries. Sharoya’s husband travelled a lot over the years so she knows what it is like to be home alone with the children. In this Episode:Sharoya’s general approach: working with parents at their wit’s end when nothing works to see relationships transform.Acknowledging what is going right and creating a vision.Embracing your own behaviour changes. Building what we want to see in our children in five/ten years from now. The difference between a compliment and building confidence. Focusing on positive behavioursSharoya’s personal journeyRecognising it is a lot! We keep asking our bodies and emotions more than they can handle. What dads say about parenting How we can invite our travelling partners to parent. Resources mentioned in the Episode:1.    Personal permission card set "I give myself permission to ..." 2.    Marco Polo app Contact SharoyaWebsite: Embrace Behavior Change Facebook: Embrace Behavior Change Instagram: parentcoachsharoya Twitter: Sharoya Ham

    54분
  7. #7: Staying Connected - with Kerry Byrne

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    #7: Staying Connected - with Kerry Byrne

    SynopsisKerry is a researcher, collaborator and entrepreneur in aging, care and connection. She is the Founder of The Long Distance Grandparent, a mission driven business, helping grandparents build strong bonds with their grandchildren – no matter the distance between. In this Episode The Long Distance Grandparent Society (1:10)Nurturing the relationship: similarities in maintaining connection between grandparents and grandkids and maintaining connection with travelling parents & their children (6:30)The Five Pillars to Connection (11:40)The importance of having a vision for the relationship (11:50)The Connection Loop (30:37)Starting early (39:11)Grief (40:20)Spontaneity(42:09)Two of Kerry’s favourite resources for parenting (44:34) Resources mentioned in the episodePeaceful Parenting Raising Adventurous EatersPeekabond Contact Kerrywww.thelongdistancegrandparent.com Kerry has a lot of different blogs on connecting, various topics, inspiration and ideas for staying connected. She sends out a weekly email with those kinds of tips. and you can find out more about the membership at that website as well.

    45분
  8. #8: Creating an environment where children can thrive - with Matthijs de Rave

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    #8: Creating an environment where children can thrive - with Matthijs de Rave

    SynopsisFor many years, Matthijs de Rave worked as Sales Director for well known, worldwide insurance companies and was also an author of children’s books. One day, he had an airplane epiphany and founded Expat Valley. I talk to him about being the first Ombudsman for International Children, and what it was like being an travelling dad. In this EpisodeWhat is an Ombudsman for International Children, what Matthijs does and who are international children. (1:19)His personal experience of travelling a lot for work and being a dad. (5:59)The impact on his children. (6:51)His airplane epiphany. (8:11)The Trip Kit.(11:25)Phone calls home (20:41)What Matthijs would say to someone who is just starting to travel a lot for work. (21:55).The importance of hearing other people’s stories around business travel and being more open about talking about it. (26:16)Matthijs’ favourite resources for life and parenting. (35:22) Resources mentioned in the episodeThe Biggest Little Farm Contact Matthijs de RaveExpat ValleyLinkedIn

    41분
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Holding the Fort Abroad is the podcast for expats with travelling partners. Discover how families find creative ways to maintain relationships when one partner/parent works away more frequently, whilst the non-travelling parent juggles responsibilities at home amid their own pursuits. Through deep and often humorous conversations, my guests - experienced expats, therapists and researchers share their wisdom with us all. Even without a travelling partner, you’ll find valuable gifts here for your life abroad. Find out more...

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    Rhoda Bangerter
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