Honest Chaos

Mark Bonica
Honest Chaos

A poetry, fiction, and spoken word podcast. Completely irregular. Web site: https://honestchaos.blogspot.com/ honestchaos.substack.com

  1. Not a god

    21 ЯНВ.

    Not a god

    When you start your day by stubbing your toe even before you get to the bathroom and you know it's an insignificant injury in the scope of world tragedy but in the moment the pain occupies all of your brain except for the part still carrying on about how you have to pee - this is a first glimmer that the old gods are about today. But in case you're not ready to believe, you'll have cut yourself shaving and that tiny slice will bleed onto the first shirt you put on and so you'll go downstairs having dressed yourself twice. You'll knock your coffee over with a flick of your hand, then you'll forget your keys on your way to your car and then as you pull out of your neighborhood, you'll remember your wallet is waiting patiently on the counter for you. And you will do a quick calculus - can I get through my day with no money? what's the chance the police will pull me over? and that last one, given the other signs has you turning around in some stranger's driveway. Now your ancestors in that Mediterranean village - no, not the ones with the copious crucifixes, before them. The ones who made the tiny shrines tucked into every nook and corner where their descendants, closer to you, shoved little statues of Mary, but those older ancestors had other figures there first. They knew when a splash of wine was called for, or to place a slice of orange or a few almonds. And they would tell you, based on the morning you are having that you have with the utmost certainty offended a god. A small god, most likely, but still, what are you? Not a god, they would tell you. And now you, having lost touch with the old ways, awkwardly pour a bit of your coffee from your travel mug onto the mulch by the garage door, the threshold of your home and the larger world. It's a small gesture, but it is noted. Somehow from there you find yourself moving more deliberately and all the lights are green when you roll up to them and all the cars seem to have other places to be other than in front of you, and thus somehow, you arrive on time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit honestchaos.substack.com

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A poetry, fiction, and spoken word podcast. Completely irregular. Web site: https://honestchaos.blogspot.com/ honestchaos.substack.com

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