Hope for the Caregiver Truth Network

Recall a situation where you witnessed an adult overreacting. Did it catch you off-guard? Did it make you uneasy? A psychiatrist friend once shared a valuable insight with his team: "When you see a patient overreact or act out, always remember there's a story behind that behavior." 
Understanding this 'story' is crucial for caregivers dealing with individuals exhibiting frenetic or hyper behavior, as it allows them to approach the situation with empathy and patience.
Adults don't lose self-control in a vacuum—there's a build-up and a story behind their behavior. When caregivers find themselves in the unpleasant predicament of engaging an individual with frenetic or hyper behavior, it's helpful to remember that the behavior is more significant than the moment.
Reminding ourselves that "there's a story" enables us to speak to the deeper issues driving the outburst—which often requires assurance rather than reason. Arguing with a long-term wound is futile. Caring for that wound and its symptoms remains a more effective response. As caregivers, we encounter those panicking about pocket-sized problems. Outbursts of a temporary or minor problem are rooted in a long journey that could stretch back a lifetime. Detaching from the immediate eruption allows us to understand better and address the volcanic turbulence behind the explosion.
However, it starts with us remembering, "If it's hysterical, it's historical" - and there's always a story behind the behavior. 
We are not makers of history. We are made by history. —Martin Luther King Jr.
 

Kelly O'Connor joined my program today to discuss how she's helping families navigate the complexity of caregiving - particularly with seniors. 
Kelly and Gracie grew up together - and Kelly is one of us. Not only does she have SIGNIFICANT caregiving experience, but look what she's done with it.
With specialized certifications in Gerontology, Dementia Care, and Life Coaching and a master's degree in Spiritual Psychology, Kelly brings over 14 years of dedicated experience to the table. Having assisted nearly 2,000 individuals and their families, her insights are a treasure trove for those navigating the complexities of aging. Whether it's providing caregiver coaching or empowering older adults to embrace their next chapter, she offers compassionate guidance rooted in profound expertise. Join us as we delve into her wealth of knowledge and discover how she's transforming lives one conversation at a time. Connect with her and explore the possibilities at Calendly - Kelly O'Connor, MA, CSA, CPRS, CDP
Get on her calendar for a conversation - no strings attached. Tell her I sent you, and you can trust her. She really knows what she's doing - and has helped a lot of folks through some rough patches.
https://calendly.com/kellyoconnor
 

Following the loss of her own legs, Gracie resolved to provide quality prosthetic limbs for fellow amputees. In 2005, she and I  developed a unique partnership with the Ghana Health Service to train and equip local workers to fabricate limbs for their own people. We call it Standing With Hope. 

Many caregivers struggle with decades-old promises to make sure to “never put Mom in a nursing home.” When making that promise, most recall healthier times when the thought of entering a facility seemed far on the horizon. Reality sneaks up on the best of us, and we find ourselves faced with uncomfortable circumstances. 
The promise’s tether can quickly transform into a noose around the neck of a family caregiver unable to meet the demands of a horrific condition. From personal safety to medical expertise, caregivers easily find themselves outmatched by an affliction—and overpowered by guilt.
Despite the promise’s sincerity, its roots often stem from ignorance about the peripheral havoc disease and injury can cause. Disparity and unsustainability quickly appear when a caregiver demands of herself what an entire paid staff of people in a memory care facility accomplishes. The promise must face honest scrutiny to reflect the commitment to caring for a loved one as best one can. When demands exceed ability, changes must occur—and help must be enlisted.
The challenge for caregivers is seeking counsel from objective, experienced, and trained individuals to regularly evaluate conditions and possible paths regularly. 
As we promise to care, let us also commit to caring well.
    
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. —Dolly Parton
FROM: A MINUTE FOR CAREGIVERS - WHEN EVERY DAY FEELS LIKE MONDAY
 

When Carole Leathem’s husband, Bill, first began his battle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, she had no idea years of rejection and identity issues would come to a head. After all, when you’re the wife of a senior pastor, there are certain expectations that come with it. Imperfection and mental illness are not among them.
Visit Carole's Site:  https://www.thecaretakersjourney.com/
Get Carole's Book
 

A close pastor friend of mine called me after burying his beloved dog. While digging the hole, he wept while angrily reflecting on how much he hated death. The conversation turned to the countless funerals he presided over during his ministry—I played the piano for many of those services. We talked a bit longer about some of the cherished families we ministered to during those funerals and discussed our shared anger at death. Then he said something that’s never left me.
“Do you know who hates death more?”
“God hates death,” he stated quietly.
Pausing, he added, “He hates it so much that He took it upon Himself to provide a way to defeat death.”
When Jesus stood at His friend Lazarus’s grave, John 11:38 shares that He was “deeply moved.” Some translations state that anger welled up in Jesus—anger at death.
Mere weeks after standing at Lazarus’s tomb, on what we celebrate as Easter Sunday, Jesus indeed conquered death, but at an immeasurable cost to Himself.      
“Please—Aslan,” said Lucy, “can anything be done to save Edmund?” 
“All shall be done,” said Aslan. “But it may be harder than you think.” —C. S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe