How to Deal with Pushback as you Grow

In this episode, Jessilyn and Brian Persson dive into the reality of experiencing pushback as you grow, succeed, and develop your personal self. They offer strategies for managing this resistance while confidently pursuing personal and financial growth. They share how understanding social dynamics, or "reading the room," can help you navigate relationships with those who may feel envious or alienated by your success. 

Through personal stories, like Brian’s parents’ initial hesitance toward their real estate ventures and Jessilyn’s decision to limit communication with a negative sibling, they explore how to reframe relationships rather than cut people off entirely. Jesslyn and Brian stress the importance of focusing on supportive communities and maintaining humility while speaking to others at their level of understanding.  

The conversation wraps up with actionable tips for staying resilient amidst the naysayers and protecting your energy. Jessilyn and Brian encourage listeners to cultivate environments where success and growth are celebrated, whether through like-minded groups or empowering communities. 

Resources discussed in this episode:

• The 3 Mistakes that Keep High Achieving Couples from Building their Wealth, Freedom & Living a Life they Love

--

Contact Jessilyn and Brian Persson | Discover Life By Design: 

• Website: DiscoverLifeByDesign.ca
• Instagram: DiscoverLifeByDesign
• Facebook: Discover Life By Design
• Linkedin: Discover Life By Design

--

Transcript
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:09] Welcome to the Life by Design Podcast. We are your hosts, Jessilyn and Brian Persson. Are you and your partner looking to align your financial goals and build wealth together? Have you ever wondered what might be stopping you from confidently investing in real estate or growing your wealth as a couple? Or why it feels so hard to get on the same page financially?

Brian Persson: [00:00:31] That's exactly why we created this podcast and the 'Riches, Relationships, and Real Estate' program to help couples like you invest confidently and achieve both your financial and relationship goals. If you're curious to learn more, head directly over to discoverlifebydesign.ca/wealth and download our free guide, 'The Three Mistakes That Keep Couples from Building Their Wealth'. Let's start building wealth and the life you deserve together.

Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:58] Alright, today's topic is how to deal with pushback as you grow.

Brian Persson: [00:01:04] It's natural, I think it's a society thing where people look up to other people and they want to bring them down. The whole 'crabs in the bucket', if you know that analogy, where all the crabs in the bucket try to pull the other crabs down, even though individually every crab could get out of the bucket.

Jessilyn Persson: [00:01:22] I think this goes across many areas in life. Obviously we focus on wealth, but if you're growing your career, if you're growing your wealth, if you're shifting your mindset, if you're changing other aspects in your life, whether it be research or spirituality or how you exercise or how you want to change your eating habits. However you choose to grow, when someone's used to you as you are and you decide to change something, people, and sometimes harmlessly, they don't actually mean to be mean, can be mean. That could be something simple as, even to this day I haven't drank in over three years now. When I say to people when I'm at an event or a party, I'm like, I don't drink. They're like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, don't be sorry, because I'm not. They don't mean harm, they're lovely people, but they think it's a bad thing. Oh, you can't drink. I'm like, no it's a choice, actually.

Brian Persson: [00:02:21] Which leads to our takeaway number one which is, learn how to read the room. Those people that you were just talking about don't really know how to read the room. They just blurt what is in their view and not necessarily the view of the room around them.

Jessilyn Persson: [00:02:39] Learning to read the room is such an essential tool. So many people don't do it, but when you have that tool in your tool belt, you can be in any room and be comfortable. Even if the conversation isn't where you want it to be, you'll know what to say and when to say it if you can read the room, the people in it, and maybe how they will respond to whatever conversation you're looking to have.

Brian Persson: [00:03:08] When we built our real estate portfolio, I remember a lot of people going, oh wow, you have that much in real estate? To us, it wasn't a big deal. We were like, no, we want a lot more than this. We're working really hard to try and get there. People almost got offended by the fact that we already had that much. This is not a whole lot of real estate in any significant terms. I think at that time when people started commenting on this, we had three small condos downtown and we had bought one of our first houses. People just thought, holy man, you got to this level? We wanted to get so much farther beyond that. I recall not being able to associate with them. My ability to read them was really low at that time. We would say things that sounded insulting to them. We were trying to get somewhere further ahead and not really understanding where we were at that moment. There was this disconnect between how we were talking to them and how they were actually hearing what we were saying.

Jessilyn Persson: [00:04:22] The general population who doesn't invest in real estate, or maybe even much in wealth, it can come across as arrogant and flashy. If we're like, I own this many doors, this many million of properties, it's like they can't understand that level. It's hard for them and it makes it hard for you to have the conversation. But if you read the room and realize that you have that, stay humble about it, and speak to their world. Again, not their level. We're not saying come down, to stoop to their level if they're not in a space to come up, but understand their world and that they may not be able to connect to you and what you're saying, and they may not engage because they may not know how.

Brian Persson: [00:05:13] What you say about stooping is, you don't have to lower your standards in order to associate with them. It's not about that. It's just about coming down to where their thought patterns are, where their mindset is, and starting with them there. It's like a very experienced professional of some sort, to the outside world that professional looks like he's working magic, but really he's got 10 or 20 years experience on it, and he's skipped all the steps from A to magic. If you start with the magic, people don't understand what you're really doing, and so you got to come back down to 'A', where they are, and start walking forward with them from there. That's what reading the room is about is, where are you now in your journey, and let me meet you there.

Jessilyn Persson: [00:06:06] I've shared this before, that I'm a project manager in IT, and I work with a lot of people on a daily basis. My life here where I'm building my wealth, investing in real estate, coaching, speaking, being an author, is a whole different life. I know most of the people I work with can't even imagine, never mind understand, that world. I just don't speak about it when I'm ...