Sex With Dr. Jess

I absolutely love this podcast! About two years ago, I spent my 45 minute commute to and from work listening to Dr. Jess, her husband Brandon, and awesome co-hosts like Luna Matatas. Listening to the psychosexual education and vulnerability of the podcast made the drive feel short and I looked forward to listening everyday. I learned so much about myself, was able to communicate needs to the people in my life more efficiently, and was able to make better connections with my partner at the time exploring our “core erotic feelings” and “elevated erotic feelings”. In undergrad and graduate school my focus was relational and systemic intimacy— how people build connections with themselves, each other, and their environment. When I started the podcast, I was working as a therapist at a group home for at-risk teenage boys and focusing on building intimacy because they lacked positive connections, but frustrated at lack of the agency to change their situations. On several occasions I was shut down when encouraging the boys to have a healthy teenage social life, including consent, assertive communication, boundary setting and enforcement, and prevention of unwanted pregnancy or STIs. Boundary setting was the worst received because staff did not believe the teens deserved age-appropriate transparency, evidence-based knowledge, safety to disagree with staff, and reciprocal respect in the group home. It was disheartening to know that people would rather maintain fear-based control with the teens than foster intimacy and connection-based compliance so the teens have healthier relationships as adults. When I listened to Dr. Jess’ episode about how she came into her work as a sex educator, and how it started from seeing a need and providing the education to meet that need, I was inspired to make a change. I realized how much of my career choices were led by fear of stigmatization about pleasure-focused intimacy instead of meeting the need to increase the probability of healthy relationships and connections in adults. So, I switched from children to adults focusing on relational and systemic intimacy, addressed my own fear of sexual shame and relational vulnerability, and started exploring an idea for an intimate network for building intimacy called Building Blackhearts. Now, I’m sure that I want to be an intimacy educator, coach, and therapist for adults working hard to make the connections that mean the most to us.

Dr Jess offers super smart support for great sex. So many detailed tips and information to take your sex to the next level. Love listening for the specific details and great recommendations most of all.

The conversations between Dr. Jess and Brandon are endearing, illustrative, educational, and entertaining. Dr. Jess will share the studies behind the topics covered. And, refreshingly, will acknowledge where she is curious to do more research. Listen to this podcast if you want practical mixed with good research and nuance.

So annoying… the doctor kept nervously laughing.