Igniting Passion: Expert Advice on Reigniting Your Sex Life

This Goop article features a Q&A with therapists Barry Michels and Phil Stutz on reigniting sexual passion in long-term relationships. They argue that modern life's emphasis on control stifles the spontaneity crucial for intimacy, suggesting that couples must actively cultivate vulnerability and acknowledge their "Shadow" selves – the less controlled aspects of personality – to reconnect. The therapists emphasize the importance of consistent, non-sexual expressions of affection to create a sexualized context within the relationship, advocating even for "faking it till you make it" to achieve this. They contend that the initial intense passion of a new relationship inevitably fades, and the subsequent effort required to maintain intimacy is normal, not a sign of failure. Ultimately, they promote consistent engagement with one's partner as key to sustained sexual desire.