I’m Not Going to Tolerate This with Jennifer Frye

It’s called “continuous growth” for a reason.

When you cut down a tree, or a tree snaps and falls, the rings you’ll see reveal more than the age of the tree based on how many rings there are. Each ring will be a different width, a different color or shade.

Each of these rings tells a story about how changes in the environment impacted its growth and development as it grew from a sapling into a fully-fledged organism sprouting branches, growing leaves, bearing fruit, expanding its roots, or whatever other functions it performed during its life cycle.

Jennifer Frye’s story of surviving domestic abuse and finding her way to thrive by looking from the inside out makes me think of this metaphor.

Growing up, Jennifer was instilled with the values of hard work, work ethic, honesty, integrity, family, education… and guilt. Yes, she grew up in the 1980s.

Her father was a successful entrepreneur who worked a lot of hours and embodied the hustle culture. Though she grew up in a loving household, both her parents died when she was in her 20s. She was determined to be a success story and to do what she believed would be expected of her.

Jennifer got married, had a child, and started a business, so it seemed like she was set to emulate her father and everything would be fine.

But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.

Her husband gradually became abusive. First it was emotional abuse, trauma, gaslighting, and displays of power like blocking her from leaving a room or laying behind her car so she could not leave the driveway. She tried to make it work for the sake of their child having a complete home. Then, after she went out with a friend for her birthday, he accused her of being with another man and struck her.

That was the break. Though it was scary, and she didn’t have a whole lot to go on as her business was just starting to really take off, she divorced him and embarked on a journey to making it on her own.

Funny thing, though. She had already been managing the household and primary in raising their child, so on the surface level, aside from a struggle to make ends meet, things hadn’t actually changed all that much.

Until one day, she was emptying the dishwasher and found sheer joy at knowing she didn’t have a man who would cause her anxiety if she didn’t empty the dishwasher.

In a moment, when you hear from Jennifer, you’ll see how, like the rings of a tree, she discovered how as you go through the layers of bark, you find your tolerations that get in the way of gratitude and dispose of them.

And most of all, you’ll be energized by the power of the word “because”.

Jennifer’s hype song is "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston.

Resources:

• Jennifer’s website: https://appreciatedasset.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-levy-frye/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/appreciatedasset/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/appreciatedasset/

Also be sure to check out Episode #81, Resilience in the Face of Adversity: A Dad’s Story of Overcoming Loss and Embracing Gratitude with Mike Fister – Mike connected me to Jennifer for today’s enlightening conversation!

Invitation from Lori:

In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at yo