Labor Pains: Dealing with infertility and loss during pregnancy or infancy‪.‬ Teresa Reiniger with Women Connect & Support

Jenn Cobbel and her husband, a US Navy Seabees, struggled with secondary infertility. They had testing done which found nothing and three rounds of clomid. The military coverage of infertility treatment is very limited. After trying for 6 years, they decided to get rid of all the baby things, after saving them for 11 years.

Jenn had decided to start focusing on herself. She was ready to go in for breast reduction surgery when the surgeon informed her the surgery would be cancelled due to her being pregnant. SURPRISE!!

Secondary infertility plus military life topics:

·        After six years we were at peace with not having more children

·        We wanted our parents to have more grandchildren

·        Behind closed doors there was anger

·        Questioning WHY

·       Military life made it more difficult.



“Let yourself have hard days, if not it is like dropping a Mentos in a bottle of diet coke when you release the anger.

Let yourself have the bad days.” ~~ Jenn Cobbel

Connect with Teresa:

EMAIL: teresa.livingaftergrief.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/.livingaftergrief/.

Instagram: @livingaftergrief

Website: www.livingaftergrief.com

click and schedule a free complementary time
to talk: https://calendly.com/teresa-reiniger/podcast-discovery-call

Nick and Sabrina Kohlberg were told at their 20-week anatomy scan that their daughter Collins had anencephaly. This condition is not compatible with life. They were given a couple weeks to decide whether to terminate the pregnancy or continue with the expectation that she could pass at any time. They were told if she made it to delivery, she could live a few minutes or a few hours. Sabrina said, " I could not make the decision to terminate her life, so we put it in God's hands, and we hoped to get some time with our daughter alive.

Nick & Sabrina Shared about:

·      The next 4 months of pregnancy

·      Strangers asked if it was a boy or girl?

·      Co-workers that would just sit and cry with Sabrina.

·      The high-risk doctors support.

·      The amazing 11 hours that Collins lived and the 2 days they were able to spend with her.

·      Creating memories, mementos and ways to honor Collins life.

“Don't worry about making others uncomfortable when talking about your child. This is your life, and your child deserves to be talked about. Don't be scared to mention your baby.” ~~ Nick

“I learned that grief could look very different even with spouses. We both lost Collins and the path we went through was very different.” ~~ Sabrina



Connect with Teresa:

EMAIL teresa.womenconnect2019@gmail.com or teresa.livingaftergrief.com

Facebook ⁠https://www.facebook.com/.womenconnectsupport/⁠. and ⁠https://www.facebook.com/.livingaftergrief/⁠.

Instagram: @womenconnectandsupport or @livingaftergrief

Website: ⁠www.livingaftergrief.com⁠

click and schedule a time to talk: ⁠https://calendly.com/teresa-reiniger/podcast-discovery-call

Natalie Fallert was very aware that couples can struggle with infertility. Multiple women on her husband’s side had infertility problems. She wasn't sure if they should look into it right away after marriage or wait as planned. After a year they began the journey with testing first. They would find a problem … We would fix it … They would find something else … We would fix that. This seemed to go on and on. Eight plus years also included IUI'S, IVF and Intravenous Immunoglobulin Therapy.

Things Natalie shared during our conversation:

· Being Raised Catholic and Questioning Intervention.

· Minister said God will put roadblocks up to steer us in the right direction.

· Chemical Pregnancy was emotionally devastating, as well as the financial devastation that went along with it. (Listen for Natalie’s metaphor to describe this feeling.)

· Drawing the line in the sand …I will finish this round and I’m done sticking needles in my body.

· Do we want to be pregnant, or do we want to be parents?

Natalie felt shame for being so angry with God at times and he still gave her grace and twin boys. You don't have to give birth to be called mom or dad.

“If you're talking to somebody about this, then they love you. If you're willing to share this with them, then they are a person in your life that actually does care about you. So sometimes they might say something that is harsh, but it's coming from a place of love.” ~~ Natalie Fallert

Connect with Teresa:

EMAIL: teresa.livingaftergrief.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/.livingaftergrief/.

Instagram: @livingaftergrief

Website: www.livingaftergrief.com

click and schedule a free complementary time to talk: https://calendly.com/teresa-reiniger/podcast-discovery-call

After having two healthy boys, Tammy’s third pregnancy ended in a loss at 12 weeks. This loss was followed by another pregnancy where she delivered her third healthy boy.

When Tammy became pregnant again she was sure this was her little girl. Being so sure she scheduled her ultrasound on Valentines Day. On that day she was told that her baby boy had Down Syndrome and had no heartbeat.

Tammy Shared

· Regret that she prayed for a girl and not a healthy baby

· How the loss affected her marriage

· How the Share Organization saved her

· Not sharing her story for 16 years

· Unsure if she grieved the “right” way and more

After sharing her story, she now has raised money for the Share Organization, put together gift bags for other mom’s and is certified through the Share Organization to support other moms that have experienced a loss.

Tammy’s words of encouragement and hope:

“Hold tight friends, I promise it will get better for you. I know it's hard, I know you're walking through this journey. But I promise it does get, not easier … I don't want to say easier…  but it'll be okay. Just find your tribe.” – Tammy James

Connect with Teresa:

EMAIL: teresa.livingaftergrief.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/.livingaftergrief/.

Instagram: @livingaftergrief

Website: www.livingaftergrief.com

click and schedule a free complementary time to talk: https://calendly.com/teresa-reiniger/podcast-discovery-call

Lindsay Gustin endured a lot of unworthiness during her journey to become a mom. She struggled with infertility for several years and received little to no support from doctors. The doctors seemed to blame all her infertility on her weight. She felt like because she was a bigger woman, she wasn't good enough to be a mom.

After several years of work to lower her BMI with no success … she began to do her own research.

·  She found a PCOS diet online and took matters into her own hands.

·  After giving up dairy for a week she had a period for the first time in 3-4 years. This was the beginning of hope coming back for her to become a mother.

·  She became pregnant twice in 2018 … both pregnancies ended in an early miscarriage.

·  It was discovered that she had a heart shaped uterus and the doctor believed that was the cause of the losses.

·  Surgery was recommended and due to her BMI surgery would not be scheduled.

·  In 2020 Lindsay became pregnant again and carried her daughter to full term.

·  Lindsay did have another early loss in 2022.

·  Lindsay talked about the importance of having someone to work through the grief, so it doesn’t affect your relationships.

Lindsay said, “I am grateful that I have one child and hopeful to have 2. Having one is a gift.”

What Lindsay would tell her younger self: “I am good enough to be a mother and that I deserve to be a mother. Just because I have a larger body doesn’t affect me being a good mom. Also, not to quit. I would try for a while and then quit, then try for a while and then quit. If I would have kept fighting, maybe things would have moved faster.”

Connect with Teresa:

EMAIL: teresa.livingaftergrief.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/.livingaftergrief/.

Instagram: @livingaftergrief

Website: www.livingaftergrief.com

click and schedule a free complementary time to talk: https://calendly.com/teresa-reiniger/podcast-discovery-call

Self-Love can be hard to do when our body is not doing what it is meant to do and we are grieving a baby … grieving the dream of a family. Teresa shared some helpful tips for self-love and self-care.

· Rejuvenating our body with sleep is so important. Having a good bedtime routine: no blue light for 30-60 minutes before bed, hot bath, essential oils, herbal tea, journaling, meditation, listening to music, and prayer are all great ways to slow down and relax your body to prepare your body for sleep.

· Good body movement: exercise is so important for selfcare. Do not over exercise, choose body movement that is beneficial to your body like walking, dancing, swimming, or yoga.

· Fueling your body with good nutrition: Fruits, Vegetable, nuts, and proteins and avoiding sugar, alcohol, and caffeine

· Breathe Work on a daily basis: Breathe in for the count of 5, hold that breathe for the count of 5, then exhaling for the count of 5, and hold for the count of 5. Repeat 4-5 times.

Create a daily/weekly checklist to create good habits. Visually seeing the self-love, you have given yourself.

Suggestions for your list: Bedtime Routine, Hot Bath, Healthy Meal, Drinking Water, Reading, Journaling, Talking with a Friend, Words of Affirmation, Moving your Body, Deep Breathing.

Connect with Teresa:

EMAIL: teresa.livingaftergrief.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/.livingaftergrief/.

Instagram: @livingaftergrief

Website: www.livingaftergrief.com

click and schedule a free complementary time to talk: https://calendly.com/teresa-reiniger/podcast-discovery-call