Life Workshop Mo Nazari

Chinese save 45 percent of their income vs Americans only saving 5 percent, 

We are slaves of our habits. Change your habits to a better one.
We often buy emotionally and justify rationally. 

Why does the word splurge means spending money vs having fun, going for a walk, getting together with friends and other healthier choices?

Every dollar you save and invest doubles Every 10 yrs.  
Meaning in 10 years it will double, 
in 20 years will be 4 times as much
In 30 years will be 8 times as much
in 40 years will be 16 times as much
In 50 years will be 32 times as much
Yes, every dollar saved and invested at age 20 equates to $32 when you are 70 years old

If your happiness depends on stuff you need help.
 
Q: What are the expenses you can eliminate that won't affect your lifestyle?

Some say you don't have to worry about saving since you might be dead by tomorrow. My question is, have you died over the past several years :) Most likely you won't be dead for the next several years as well. These are simple stats. 
There are a lot of good videos online about how to save. In this podcast I would like to get you thinking on making your own ways of saving. Helping you figure out how to fish rather than providing you with the fish.

Often regardless of how little or a lot you make, you will end up saving or spending it all because of your own set of thoughts. Yes it is primarily a set of thoughts. 

To some the meaning of "afford" is the ability to pay the installments, to me is if you can pay it off cash without affecting your lifestyle.

I am not sure how we have come up with terms such as "I deserve the luxury", "treat yourself", "splurge', "paying for the convenience". Does it make sense to pay so much for the little extra convenience and splurge?

If you are the target of gossip:
1. Ask the news bearer to stop the gossiper from gossiping and ask the gossiper to come to you. Help the news bearer to be a gossip stopper with all the steps above.
2. Then ask for details and the exact words that were said behind your back, and facts, versus the news bearer's version of the facts.

In order to bond we need a common enemy, but it doesn't have to be a person, it can be an ideology or problem, eg; the behavior of the gossiper and not the gossiper as a whole person.

We often like to be a part of a group because we often feel superior as a group, but inferior as an individual. 

What gets rewarded gets repeated. Don't reward the gossiper.

We overestimate our abilities and underestimate other people's abilities.  When we see a flaw in others, we often blame the whole person, but when it comes to our own flaws we often say that was just a mistake. That's why we can contempt others.

How not to get hurt when you are the victim?
You can't control others, but you can control you and your feelings. The way you think dictates the way you feel.
You can ask the gossiper as to why they said what they said and welcome them to come directly to yourself. Help them stop gossiping. Steps are mentioned in the previous episode.

There are 3 types of people: People who talk about people, people who talk about the news and people who talk about ideas.

You can't consume gossip without bias and  the presumption of your own experience.

First and foremost important is to find out why one gossips:
Is it to help/inform you about the absent person, 
Is it out of jealousy and want to ruin them, 
Is he/she simply venting and may not mean everything they say. 
Is it for the sake of entertainment and wanting to connect with you by talking about the absentee. 
Is it because we are focused on others, not ourselves. Seeing others' drama to forget our own drama. Feeling better about ourselves by seeing others broken
Or simply they like Chios and drama.

If we are not open to accepting feedback may contribute to becoming a gossip victim and if we do not feel comfortable to express ourselves directly may force us into becoming a gossiper. Since after all at times we can't keep everything to ourselves and need to vent.

Can you imagine if you speak our thoughts? That would be a disaster.  At times we share some of them with a few others, venting. This is why as a listener we may have to simply listen to the gossip and leave it there. They may just need a listening ear. 

How to stop the gossiper: 
Tell the gossiper that I'm gonna tell the absentee what you told me
Tell them to talk to the absentee instead of talking about them 
Say something good about the absentee and ask the gossiper to do the same
Ask for facts and details. This doesn't stop the gossip but helps to be more realistic and factual versus allowing the gossiper to talk about their understanding/version of the facts 
Help them to talk about something else.
If the gossiper has some valid concerns about the absentee, let's focus on solving the problem versus just venting. Eg how can you help the absentee to change and adopt a better behavior. Addressing the behavior of the absentee and not just talking and complaining about the absentee with no solution is mind.

Education is the foundation, experience is topping. For further improvement we need further education first.
For making decisions in a field where there are no studies or stats to help me make the right choice, I follow this principle: I do not kiss ass because I need to, I do not kick ass because I can. I do it because it's right. After all we will never know the consequences of our decisions. That is why I prefer to have my intentions right.