Living the Life of a Modern Sage with Alex

Lisa is joined by group coaching alum, Alex. This episode discusses the complex journey of addiction and recovery, emphasizing the importance of continuous self-awareness, community support, and emotional growth. It underscores that personal growth is an ongoing process without a final destination, requiring constant practice and self-compassion.

Topics Include:

• Feelings of worthiness
• Addiction and Dissociation
• Relationship with Food and Recovery
• Ongoing Practice of Self-Love

[1:07] Lisa introduces Alex, a group coaching alum, and Alex provides a brief background about herself, including her age, profession, and family. 

[2:52] Alex discusses her early childhood, feeling like a misfit, receiving negative messages about her body, and experiencing dissociation as a coping mechanism. Alex talks about discovering boys and alcohol, getting kicked out of public high school, and finding a sense of belonging at a small private girls’ school. Alex describes her life after high school, including heavy drinking, drug use, and the impact of her father’s death and her own accident.  

[18:17] Alex shares her experiences with various diets, over-exercising, and using laxatives as a means to control her weight. Alex talks about getting married, having a baby, and eventually getting sober while raising her child alone. Alex discusses her relapse after 16 years of sobriety, her obsessive exercising, and discovering the work of John Sarno and Nicole Sachs in 2020.

[24:51] Lisa and Alex explore the cognitive dissonance between wanting to be in addiction and wanting to be sober, noting that recovery can become a new form of addiction. Alex admits that much of their recovery efforts were performative, driven by how things looked rather than genuine feelings. Alex compares their experience with eating disorders to OCD, emphasizing the importance of gradual exposure therapy in recovery. 

[29:22] Alex shares their experience with Overeaters Anonymous (OA), noting that it felt like another form of dieting and restriction. Lisa and Alex discuss the concept of powerlessness over substances, with Lisa disagreeing with the traditional OA view and Alex partially agreeing. 

[42:19] Alex talks about using Internal Family Systems (IFS) to identify and accept different parts of themselves, including negative emotions like rage and despair. Lisa and Alex talk about the balance between codependency and hyper-independence, emphasizing the importance of healthy support systems.

[51:53] Lisa and Alex discuss how past experiences shape emotional reactions and the importance of distinguishing between discomfort and actual danger. Alex talks about dealing with multiple losses, including the death of their mother and a friend, and how it has impacted their emotional journey.  

[1:03:17] Alex shares their positive experience with a group program, emphasizing the value of community and continuous learning. Alex discusses the challenges and empowerment of accepting an aging body and the desire to advocate for older adults. 

[1:09:46] Alex emphasizes the importance of continuous practice and course correction in their emotional and spiritual journey. Lisa and Alex discuss that there is no final destination in personal growth and self-awareness. It’s an ongoing process. Lisa emphasizes the importance of continuous practice in aligning with oneself and embodying authenticity.

[1:15:05] Lisa and Alex close out this session by using the metaphor of gardening to describe personal growth, emphasizing the need for constant tending. 

*The views of podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and beliefs of Lisa Schlosberg or Out of the Cave, LLC.

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