MIXUNDERSTOOD Hanna-Lee Sakakibara

In this Episode we're spotlighting Shola Oz, the author of the children’s book “I am whole” 
Growing up as a first-generation immigrant in the bustling and diverse city of London, Shola learned early on to embrace and celebrate people from all walks of life.
Shola's path to authorship was anything but conventional. Motivated by the lack of positive representation for mixed-race children, she was inspired to write "I Am Whole" after persistent, rhyming lines kept appearing in her dreams. This passion project transcended her immediate circle, resonating particularly in the US, and underlining the global hunger for inclusive narratives.
Inspired by raising her own multicultural and mixed-race daughter, "I Am Whole" aims to take away the focus on color and identification with one culture over another by focusing on language, family and traditions.  
join us as we dive into Shola's personal journey and the heartwarming stories from her mixed family, From navigating the pressures of conforming to beauty standards in a predominantly white corporate world to embracing her natural hair, Shola's story is one of empowerment and self-acceptance. We explore the cultural significance of Nigerian naming traditions and the heartfelt desire to reconnect with her roots. Shola's journey is a testament to the power of authenticity, resilience, and the importance of celebrating one’s identity.
 
Show notes:
 
Three fun facts about Shola - Horror, Thai & Moulin Rouge…
Shola’s unexpected inspiration for her Children’s book
Insights from “I am whole book” which focuses on embracing multiple cultures through language, family, and traditions rather than solely on skin color
The experience of writing a children's book for mixed-race kids by a mother who is not mixed race herself.
Shola’s personal experiences in an interracial and intercultural relationship, highlighting conversations about race and micro-aggressions with her Italian English husband.
Shola’s mixed family experience in England vs Ital.
Shola’s experiences as a black woman in London vs Overseas.
Shola shares about what she did to assimilate as a Black woman in the corporate world particularly the pressures to conform to certain beauty standards.
Why did Shola change her daughter’s name when she was 2 years old.
The meaning behind her daughter's name.
The cultural significance and traditions surrounding naming ceremonies in Nigerian culture, particularly for twins.
Shola’s sense of home vs her mother’s sense of home as a Nigerian immigrant. 
Writer’s block and Hanna-Lee’s pitch for a second book.
Shola’s book recommendations
A special impromptu song from Shola…
 
Find Shola Oz:
@Iamwholebook
Email: iamwholebook@gmail.com
https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Multi-Racial-Childrens-Celebrating-Diversity/dp/183834330X
 
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Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com
 
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In this episode, I chat with sisters Kim Serena and Mareike Matthies. Raised in Munich, they now navigate the challenges of intercultural family life, with partners from Venezuela and Italy, bringing a rich mix of languages and cultures into their homes. Through their project, "A Couple of Cultures," Kim and Mareike help other intercultural couples by sharing personal stories and professional tips on raising bilingual kids and blending different cultural backgrounds.
Kim and Mareike stress the importance of communication and tolerance in maintaining harmony in multicultural families. They also offer practical tips for nurturing strong dual cultural identities in children, providing valuable lessons for anyone living in a multicultural world.
 
Show notes:
Introduction to Mareike and Kim
3 Fun facts about Mareike and Kim
How the German sisters met their husbands from Italy and Spain and the moves they made to make the intercultural relationship work. 
Taking change and potentially transient lifestyle in multicultural families. 
Being aware of the roles that each partner plays if you happen to be living in the home Country of one of the partners and making a conscious effort to perhaps switch up those roles and move to another country for a chapter. 
Growth and balance in a relationship.
The culture that you create as a couple. 
Working together to make sure that the needs of each partner are met.
Local vs global community and how both are important. People that will understand your multi cultural lifestyle demands and needs as well as local friends.
Long-distance travel with young children 
​​The importance of preemptively discussing big questions such as language, religion, and the involvement of grandparents. Avoiding judgment and valuation in everyday parenting, particularly when it comes to advice from grandmothers with their own cultural biases
The intricacies and challenges of raising children in a multicultural household.
Making the most of an intercultural partner in the sense of challenging why you do things the way you do. Asking yourself if doing things a certain way is a conscious choice or just an automatic thing your culture does. Doing this gives you the option to choose how you want to do things and being exposed to your partner's culture can give you more options. 
Communication - Debriefing after the event - What happened? Why did you react that way? And that way learning to decipher where the behavior is coming from - Personality, parents, environment, culture etc..
The sisters share funny anecdotes from their multicultural family life
 
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Mareike and Kim:
https://www.acoupleofcultures.com
Instagram: @acoupleofcultures
 
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Contact:
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Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com
 
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In this episode, we sit down with licensed psychologist Dr. Jennifer Noble, also known as Dr. Jenn, and delve into the challenges and limitations that might arise when raising mixed race kids and learn how to ownership of the process.
We also have a second surprise visit by my former co-host Amy Maghera! 
Dr. Jenn shares invaluable insights on supporting mixed race kids, navigating racial identity, and overcoming microaggressions. Hanna-Lee opens up about her own fears and hesitations about becoming a parent from a multicultrual perspective. This episode is packed with practical advice!
We also take a playful quiz from Dr. Jenn’s website to wrap up the conversation. 
Introduction to Dr. Jenn
3 Fun Facts about Dr. Jenn
Challenges Parents of Mixed Kids Face
Parenting Mixed Kids during the Pandemic: A George Floyd Example
Reservations and Tactics for Supporting Mixed Kids: Race, Microaggressions, and Identity
A Parent's Journey: Changing Perspectives on Race and Mixed Experiences
Hanna-Lee's Multicultural Parenting Fears and Inner Conflict
Navigating Mixed Identity: Avoiding the "Right Answer" Trap
Connecting Kids to Your Story vs. Group Rules
Learning and Growing with Your Kids: Embracing Culture and Language
Being a Cultural Ambassador: Shared Parenting Roles
Technical and Financial Considerations of Multicultural Parenting
Grieving the Loss of Culture: Acknowledgment and Acceptance
Amy and Hanna-Lee Take the Quiz on Dr. Jenn’s Site
Closing anecdote from Dr Jenn, about fully being who you are and letting people around you adjust.
 
Your support means everything. If you enjoy this podcast and would like to help us keep the conversation going, consider supporting us on Patreon at patron.podbean.com/mixunderstoodpod 
 
Connect with Dr Jenn!
@drjennpsych
https://www.drjenntherapy.com/www.drjennpsych.com
Get you tix to FREE TO BE FEST: (Discount code: MIXUNDERSTOOD10)
https://freetobefest2024.rsvpify.com/?securityToken=50xMnp92inevIlPU9rPvuHGq5JareozG
 
Find Amy Maghera on Instagram: @amy.maghera
 
Follow!
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Contact:
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Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com
 
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 In today's unique episode, we're exploring the remarkable story of Gonzalo Guerrero and Zazil Ha, one of the earliest mixed-race couples in Latin American history. Gonzalo, a Spanish sailor, and Zazil Ha, a Mayan princess, came together to create a family that symbolized the merging of Spanish and indigenous cultures, marking the origins of the mestizo identity. This episode provides a vivid picture of the early 1500s in the Yucatan Peninsula, a time when European powers were driven by exploration and conquest. Join us as we journey through the lush and culturally rich world of the Maya and discover how these two extraordinary individuals found each other amidst the turbulence of their time.
 
References/sources:
https://www.thehistorycorner.org/articles-by-the-team/99yobciicyzjpl78wsb7maikyubro6#:~:text=Gonzalo%20Guerrero%20was%20born%20in,%E2%80%9D%20(Cuba%2C%20nowadays).
 
https://latinamericanpost.com/americas/heritage-en/the-father-of-the-mixed-race-a-story-of-romance/
 
https://belize.com/belize-is-cradle-of-latin-americas-mestizo-ethnic-group/
 
https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/03/25/gonzalo-guerrero/
 
https://ancientmayaculturaltraits.com/2023/09/30/maya-bloodletting-and-elite-initiation/
 
https://es-m-wikipedia-org.translate.goog/wiki/Gonzalo_Guerrero?_x_tr_sl=es&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl
=en&_x_tr_pto=sc
https://allthatsinteresting.com/famous-interracial-couples/4
 
https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-famous-people/gonzalo-guerrero-father-first-mestizos-and-army-captain-mayans-006129
 
https://www.thehistorycorner.org/articles-by-the-team/99yobciicyzjpl78wsb7maikyubro6
 
Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com
 
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Joining us today are Dawn Ellinwood and Elimu Nelson, an inspiring interracial couple who, after navigating the challenges of each raising their own children and primarily dating within their own racial backgrounds, now find themselves together, in their 50s, maintaining a strong connection despite their semi-long distance relationship. Tune in to hear about Dawn’s experience around transracial adoption as a mother to her two daughters from her previous marriage. Also, discover Elimu's journey of being caught between racial perceptions as a young boy and evolving into an adult who embraces his black identity, prioritizing connection in relationships. Together, they gracefully navigate the complexities of their relationship, offering insights into the dynamics of blended families and the unspoken rules of dating across racial lines. Stay tuned as we explore how their relationship has fostered healing, support, and joy in their lives
 
Show notes:
Introduction to Elimu and Dawn. They’re favorite films What makes Elimu cry, the duo personas: Boris and Natasha 
How they met. 
Dawn’s surprising connection to BLM and Elimu’s quest to change black Hollywood
Dawn’s relationship to birth and motherhood and reasons for going through a transcultural and transracial adoption process. 
Dawn shares one of the main things that people don’t take into account around adoption 
The challenges of being a parent to an adoptee from a different “race” and being able to help them navigate situations they have never experienced, or the adoptees feeling misunderstood. Seeing your limitations as a parent.
Your adopted kids wanting to look like you. Perceiving your race as the better one. Growing up as a minority in your area.
Talking about race without also making it the main focus
Staying in conversation with the kids. Asking questions. Giving answers. Being willing to have the hard conversations.
Finding others who can support them who understand - like Elimu
Elimu’s experiences as a Black man in America. Always looking over his shoulder.
Elimu on growing up in Milton Massachusetts and why he was treated differently from other black kids in his school
Elimu shares a racist encounter when he was 7 - “You stick with your kind and I’ll stick with mine” 
Navigating wanting to people please white people, but be in with the black people
Elimu as a kid and how he had a fear of Black people being raised in a predominantly white neighborhood and seeing how black people were depicted in the media - feeling ashamed of his fear.
Understanding where racism comes from. Not excusing is. 
Have the hard conversations around race as an interracial couple. Recognizing  and acknowledging that one partner has more privilage.
Judgements, fears and stigmas around interracial dating. 
Having multiple perspectives on interactions - maybe they aren’t as racist or maybe they are. 
Dawn talks about “Us” vs “Them" mentality, whether in politics, race, religion or area of the country.
Questioning the belief systems that have been handed down to us, and taking the extra step to break the cycle rather than succumb to it, when it comes to racism. 
Elimu's view on Stereotypes 
the unspoken rules of race in interracial dating. 
Unspoken familial expectations
Elimu talks about the advantage of dating within one's "race"
Discussing relationship parameters . What’s the expectation of dating each other. How will they handle the “smoke.” not avoiding situations but also not rocking the boat. The transitional phase in the relationship
Dawn’s reservations before dating Elimu
Elimu’s dating history of dating woman of color and what changed when he met Dawn
Dawn meeting Elimu’s parents and why Elimu’s father sent Dawn Caviar for her birthday
 
Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com
 
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In today’s Episode we have a special appearance from someone you already know pretty well, It's a pre-recorded conversation with my former co-host and dear friend, Amy, before she embarked on her next adventure which is around the corner - Baby number 2! 
In this oh so  intimate discussion, Amy and I delve into our experiences growing up in mixed-race households, exploring the impact our parents' marriage had on us as children as well as our own mixed marriages. We'll also touch on the landmark Loving vs. Virginia case, a pivotal moment in history that legalized interracial marriage in the United States.
Last but not least - We have an EPIC voicemail story from one of our listeners.. So stick around to the end if you wanna crack up with me!!
Your support means everything. If you enjoy this podcast and would like to help us keep the conversation going, consider supporting us on Patreon at patron.podbean.com/mixunderstoodpod 
 
Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com
Find Amy Maghera on Instagram: @amy.maghera
 
Follow!
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Twitter/X: @Mix_understood
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