Navigating connections during the holidays

The holidays are coming fast. I hope you're looking forward to gathering around the table, but sometimes family conflicts can Social anxiety and just the pressure to meet expectations can make you feel a sense of dread rather than anticipation.

Stay tuned for practical tips on navigating connections through the holidays.  This is episode 146, Navigating Connections During the Holidays.  Holiday stress is real.  I'll bring the sweet potatoes, you bring the cranberry sauce, and someone, I'm not naming names, will bring a grudge, an attitude, or some equally distasteful dish. It can be challenging when we bring all our different personalities around the table.

 Whether it's family, co workers, or friend groups, it's enough to make you dread social gatherings. But it doesn't have to be that way. Today you'll learn some practical tips to help you navigate holiday gatherings so you get that boost of oxytocin that makes you feel oh, so good. By the end of this episode, you'll be prepared to handle whatever is served this year. Except maybe fruitcake. No.   But I hope you'll look forward to gatherings in anticipation and not dread. 

What is your family tradition? In my family, we joke that if we ever do something one time, my mom will say it's a tradition and she will want to do it that way from then on. And listen, this is a double edged sword. On one hand, traditions are comfortable. We know what we're doing, when we're doing it, where we're going, and there is no need for discussion or decisions.

And that can be nice. No pressure, right?  Well, the problem is, things always change. Kids grow up and get married. Or, people move away and have to take time off work to travel home. Or get divorced and kids have to split their time with each parent. Trust me, I know about these things. And to be honest, sometimes it still makes me mad. But I know it's even harder for my grown kids. Feeling the pull of obligation is no fun. So, I try to be flexible to ease their stress. And some of you may not have family or a close knit group to celebrate with.

And that can magnify your loneliness. Isolation during the holidays is especially painful, and I've been there too. My kids live far away, and I was single for many years. And though I'm blessed to have a very loving family that get along, it's not the same as it used to be when I set up card tables throughout the house, complete with tablecloths and centerpieces in my grandmother's beautiful China. 

Now, maybe you're one of those people who likes paper plates. I'm going to tell you the truth. It just hurts me. I mean, what is China for if it's not for special occasions?  Okay, here's what I just did. I inserted my expectations and my vision for the ideal holiday right here in the middle of the podcast.   While some of you think there's incredible beauty in just walking to the trash can after a big dinner and dumping it all without having waterlogged hands from washing all those dishes.

And that, my friends, is a perfect example of conflicting expectations. No wonder it's stressful. We just got crossways and I'm the only one doing the talking. Well, yes, and you see, that can be a problem too. Listen, stress during the holidays is nearly universal. In fact, it's reported that the majority of adults deal with an extra dose of stress during the holidays.

For people who already struggle with their mental health, this can be serious.  Depression and anxiety can reach critical levels.  Loneliness during the holidays is often worse than loneliness on a pretty summer day. And loneliness increases the risk of heart disease, dementia, high blood pressure, stroke, and premature death. 

While we're on the subject of physical health, let's go to mini medical school and walk through some areas of the brain where we feel dread and anticipation. And yes, It's in the same locatio