Not For You

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COMEDY INTERVIEWS
UPDATED WEEKLY

Welcome to Not For You, the podcast that is not for you. Hosts Kristen Carroll and Kato Murray will take you on a weekly adventure through News You Can't Use, The Pete Davidson Update, and other segments such as How Quickly Can We Get Sued, This Podcast Is Not Sponsored By, and more!

03/31/2023

The (Mis)adventures of Nighthawk and Dragon

On this week’s special Step Brothers-themed episode of Not For You, Kristen and Kato discuss mammoth meatballs, Gen Z retroactively canceling Friends, plus two newly added segments, Word Association, and our weekly Judy Greer Update (with a bonus John C. Reilly update). The first new segment we’re introducing this week is the Balloon Knot! This week’s BK is the school shooting in Tennessee. Related topics include the stigma of mental illness, serial killers, the identity of the shooter, accountability, gun control, anti-drag legislation, the cyclical nature of hate, visibility, and other light topics to bring to your next family party. Our other new segment this week is the inaugural edition of Ray Carroll Reviews. This week Ray reviews: the new ‘We Love NYC’ logo. This podcast is not sponsored by Soylent Green, BetterHelp, the Honeymooners, Prestige Worldwide, Andrea Bocelli, Corn Pops, and tombstones at your birthday party. Play along with Word Association at home: prestige, commotion, nighthawk, drumstick, bonito, kemosabe.

36 min
03/24/2023

It's Always Sonny in Television City: Cher-ing is Caring

This week Not For You identifies as The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour while Kristen and Kato discuss North Korean fat shaming, receiving unsolicited Uber Eats, perceiving high school as a safe space, an exciting (and surprisingly progressive) week for the state of New Hampshire, and more! Join us this week in having a brief moment of appreciation for Linda Sinrod, Guinness World Record holder and Virginian badass. Play along at home and let us know what State you would remove from the United States. Also, more from our favorite weekly segment: The Judy Greer Update. Other tangents include oddly accurate definitions of swatting, Miley Cyrus' "Flowers", Youth Pastor Kato, starting a Not For You-themed dispensary, Cocaine Cat, respectful rage-quitting brought to you by former Mayor Frank Hibbard, Cher's new boyfriend, and giving Maine to Canada to make up for Seward's Folly. This podcast is not sponsored by Good Burger, the Town of Leicester, DoorDash, the RØDE PodMic, WKRP and puffpuffpassonthesavings.com Find us on the web at Not For You. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Email us at Nobody@NotForYouPod.com. Relevant Links: 12 Movies That Totally Wasted Judy Greer Florida Mayor Frank Hibbard The NFU Team Editor: Jorge Moratal Art Director: Melissa Lodi-Carroll Hosts: Kristen Carroll and Kato Murray

31 min
03/17/2023

Burying the Lede with Count Dracula and Other Things We're Stok(er)ed About

On this week's episode of Not For You Kristen and Kato channel their inner (and outer) Count Dracula and Bram Stoker in honor of St. Patrick's Day. Topics this week include Silicon Valley Bank, the technical definition of boneless chicken wings, toxic gas poisoning in Iran, Masking for Uggos, and more! Make sure you play along with Whose Lineage Is It Anyway at home and let us know if you beat Kristen's high score- plus stay tuned for a follow-up TikTok post from Mr. Two Left Feet himself. Also sound off and let us know some of your own favorite St. Fact-trick's factoids. Other tangents include Plastic Paddies, Frederic Weatherly's 1910 Smash Hit "Danny Boy", imagined love affairs with Walt Whitman, soft kisses from Lily Tomlin, Ponzi Schemes, and the unfortunate existence of leprechauns. This episode is not sponsored by Non-Alcoholic Guinness, Pockets for Women 2023, 23andMe, Bank of America, Buffalo Wild Wings, or the Lyceum Theatre. Find us on the web at Not For You. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Email us at Nobody@NotForYouPod.com. The NFU Team Editor: Jorge Moratal Art Director: Melissa Lodi-Carroll Hosts: Kristen Carroll and Kato Murray

41 min
03/10/2023

Celebrating International Women's Day with a Side of Schmoopy, Suzy, and Murder

On this week's episode of Not For You Kristen and Kato visit from 1980-something in their freshest outfits. Topics this week include Suzy Eddie Izzard, the best summary of the Alex Murdaugh situation available in podcast form outside of a crime podcast, and in honor of International Women's Day - a continued shared love of friend of the pod, Judy Greer. Want to play along with word association at home? This week's words are: soiree, poppycock, battle axe, lemming, gerrymandering. Other tangents include some strong opinions about cryptids, the (mis)pronunciation of conch, the Mur-duck Dynasty, murder as a hobby, why nothing matters, Step Brothers, and more. This episode is not sponsored by Adam Goldberg, Cake or Death, 90s Cult Classic Jawbreaker, jawbreakers, the Southern Carolina Low Country, Chauncey Reginald the 17th, or a tasteful denim jumpsuit. Relevant Links: It’s Time We Give Judy Greer the Respect She Deserves I Don't Know What You Know Me From The Adventures of Bubba and his chicken Find us on the web at Not For You. Email us at Nobody@NotForYouPod.com.

34 min
03/03/2023

Welcome to the Year of the (Cocaine Banana) Bear

On the first episode of Season 2 of Not For You Kristen and Kato discuss Norway, hotdoggers and other hotdog puns, A Good Year for Cocaine, love in the time of fry cooks, and other Petey D Updates. Want to play along with word association at home? This week's words are: absquatulate, oxter, xerts, obelus, and finifugal. Other tangents include the existence of tenement housing in the year 2023, the structural integrity of the average Cavendish banana, 1994's the Santa Claus, bulletproof coffee, and sad clowns. This episode is not sponsored by Big Coffee, Funko, SmartWater, or Hinch-Crowley Realty Associates. Stay tuned for next week's episode where we continue to gatekeep, gaslight, and girlboss our beloved podcast audience. Relevant Links: Olive Oil Coffee Where in the World is the Wienermobile and the Wiener Whistle Cocaine Bear Funko Pop Cocaine Bananas (not a Funko Pop) Find us on the web at Not For You. Contribute to Topic Roulette and send us your questions at Nobody@NotForYouPod.com.

42 min
09/23/2022

The Declassified Episode of Not For You (Featuring Eliza Doolittle)

On the newest episode of Not For You Kristen and Kato discuss monkeypox (and all that entails), the unanticipated rivalry between Bayou Billy's Homebrew Soda Pop and Wild Bill's Craft Beverage Co., The 25th Air Guitar World Championships World Final, a certain Trump and the continued adventure that is the definition of "declassified", and $515,000 worth of heroin. Other tangents include copyright infringement, statistically more singing than normal, Sebastian Kohn's experience at New York Pride 2022, New Jersey's main export (choose your own adventure), being Michael Scott, Twins (?), and the aptly named Water/Ice Pokémon. This episode is not sponsored by poor advice given by Jay & The Americans, Legal Seafood, 2009's Couple's Retreat, aubergines, My Fair Lady, the Polish Tourism Organization, and *insert your choice of craft soda*. This Week's Word Association Includes: Bespoke Everywhen Zoonosis Dougong Chitterlings Lickspittle The Certain Trump Headline in Question: https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2022/09/22/trump-hannity-declassify-documents/ Bayou Billy's Homebrew Soda Pop: https://bayoubilly.com/ Wild Bill's Craft Beverage Co.: https://drinkwildbills.com/ We want to give a huge thanks to Dan Bérubé, our audio wizard, for helping us sound so fancy. Don't forget to send us your Topic Roulette topics at Topics@NotForYouPod.com. You can also find us on the web at NotForYouPod.com

26 min
08/05/2022

Life Is Barrel of (Opportunisticly Violent) Monkeys and Other Fun Things You Can Do at a Golf Course

On this week's episode of Not For You Kristen and Kato discuss Brittney Griner, the shortest day in history, Kansas (the state, not the band), NJ Tax Law, and Metallica’s 1986 masterpiece, “Master of Puppets”. Other tangents include turning your golf club into a cemetery (and turning your cemetery into a tax shell), the still at-large Soviet Russian serial killer Metal Fang, fetal tax benefits, and gangs of monkeys terrorizing Yamaguchi, Japan. This episode is not sponsored by 18 contraband scorpions, Kate Bush’s royalty payments, Ape Escape (the game, not the concept), Fiji Water, or the inevitable heat death of the universe. We want to give a huge thanks to Dan Bérubé for producing this episode of Not For You. Don't forget to send us your Topic Roulette topics at Topics@NotForYouPod.com. You can also find us on the web at NotForYouPod.com

52 min
07/15/2022

Feeling The Morbs with Methuselah, Ross Perot, and Harvey Milk's Ghost

This week NFU's prodigal son returns from his bout with COVID (and tries to keep his coughing to a minimum). Other topics that Kristen and Kato discuss include: (you guessed it) abortion, the literal and terrible idea that is camping, Decision 2024, plus our favorite segments like Word Association, Topic Roulette, and Things That Go Gazump in the night. Want to play along with word association at home? This week's words are: tardigrade, tangelo, morbs, rumpus, and didgeridoo. Guest Appearances from: School Picture Day Brought to you by Cannes and Little Legs Other tangents include Owen Meany, Kristen's candidacy for President, bear feet and bare feet slippers, Gerald Ford falling down the stairs, Geese: Nature's Terrorists, 969 year old Biblical figures, and Hulu's Pam & Tommy. This episode is not sponsored by Harvey Milk's Ghost, Hair Club For Men, Jive Records, the 10-Person Tent Mahal for Two. Relevant Links: Kristen's Water Fowl Selfie Outfest Open To It Tardigrade Find us on the web at Not For You.

35 min

See All (17)

Creator

Not For You
Years Active

2022 - 2023
Episodes

17
Rating

Clean
Show Website

Not For You

Not For You

Episodes

The (Mis)adventures of Nighthawk and Dragon

It's Always Sonny in Television City: Cher-ing is Caring

Burying the Lede with Count Dracula and Other Things We're Stok(er)ed About

Celebrating International Women's Day with a Side of Schmoopy, Suzy, and Murder

Welcome to the Year of the (Cocaine Banana) Bear

The Declassified Episode of Not For You (Featuring Eliza Doolittle)

Life Is Barrel of (Opportunisticly Violent) Monkeys and Other Fun Things You Can Do at a Golf Course

Feeling The Morbs with Methuselah, Ross Perot, and Harvey Milk's Ghost

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