Out Late With David

David Cotton
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Out Late With David

I'm a life coach who came out later in life as gay. Join me as I talk with others who’ve made this LGBTQ+ coming out journey later in their lives to become who they really are.

  1. 20 JANV.

    Mark Dembo - the weight of truth…a journey of self-discovery

    Summary   Mark Dembo shares his journey of coming out at the age of 59, reflecting on the challenges and transformations he faced in his relationships, particularly with his wife and children. He discusses the emotional weight of living a life that felt inauthentic and the liberation he felt upon embracing his true self. Mark emphasizes the importance of support from family and community, and the complexities of navigating a mixed-orientation marriage. His story highlights the potential for love and acceptance even in the face of significant life changes. Mark emphasizes the significance of love and understanding in navigating the challenges of coming out later in life, offering insights and advice for others on similar journeys.   Keywords   coming out, LGBTQ, self-discovery, relationships, family dynamics, support groups, acceptance, personal growth, authenticity, mental health   Takeaways  Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.Self-acceptance often comes with emotional weight.Support from family is crucial during the coming out process.Navigating relationships requires patience and understanding.Community support can provide a sense of belonging.Publicly embracing one's identity can be liberating.It's important to allow space for emotions in relationships.Guilt is a common feeling for those coming out later in life.Maintaining friendships post-separation is possible.Every individual's journey is unique, but shared experiences can help.Sound Bites  "I was living somebody else's life.""I consider myself so very lucky in who she is.""I want to do whatever I can to help.""You have nothing to feel guilty for.""I recognize that I didn't choose this.""I can't fight that; it's who I am."Audio Chapters   00:00 Mark's Journey of Self-Discovery 07:51 The Impact of Coming Out on Relationships 15:45 Navigating Family Dynamics 20:57 Finding Community and Support 26:05 Publicly Embracing Authenticity   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/8RrNuddNU-c   YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com   © 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

    35 min

  2. 12/11/2024

    John Duerler - navigating complexities of coming out while creating community for gay fathers

    Summary   In this interview David Cotton speaks with John Duerler who shares his journey of self-discovery as a gay man, navigating the complexities of coming out to his family and the challenges of maintaining relationships. He discusses the importance of being true to oneself, the supportive reactions from his family, and the creation of a community for gay fathers. John emphasizes the significance of open communication and offers advice for others in similar situations, highlighting that they are not alone in their struggles.   Keywords   coming out, LGBTQ, family dynamics, self-discovery, relationships, gay fathers, acceptance, mental health, personal growth, community support   Takeaways   John's journey of self-discovery began in childhood.He dated women for many years before coming out.Family support played a crucial role in his coming out process.John's children reacted positively to his coming out.He emphasizes the importance of therapy in understanding one's identity.John's relationship with his wife remains amicable despite their separation.He created a community for gay fathers to share experiences.John's podcast aims to help others navigate similar journeys.He believes in the power of open communication within families.John encourages others to seek help and support during their journey. Sound Bites "I had to be true to myself." "I want to come work for you." "It gets better." "You're not alone." "Be true to yourself. Get help."   Audio Chapters     00:00 Introduction to Coming Out Journeys 03:00 Early Experiences and Realizations 05:55 Navigating Relationships and Family Dynamics 08:49 The Impact of Family and Support Systems 12:13 Coming Out to Family and Friends 15:10 Creating a Supportive Community 18:02 Reflections on Dating and Relationships 20:46 Advice for Others on Their Journey 24:07 Conclusion and Resources Book Recommendation:  Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life, edited by Vinnie Kinsella.   https://a.co/d/dh3N2yM   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/0Dx2jCfpzlQ   YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

    29 min

  3. 10/10/2024

    David Nygaard - divorce, heart attack, bankruptcy…a journey of resilience

    In this conversation, David Cotton speaks with David Nygaard about his journey of coming out as gay later in life. They discuss the challenges of recognizing one's identity in a society that often stigmatizes homosexuality, the complexities of navigating relationships and marriage, and the impact of a significant health crisis on Nygaard's life. Nygaard shares his experiences of embracing authenticity, his political aspirations, and the importance of open communication in relationships. The conversation concludes with advice for those in mixed orientation marriages, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and seeking professional guidance.  David also offers advice for others who may be struggling with their identity and relationships.   Keywords   coming out, LGBTQ+, self-discovery, relationships, authenticity, heart attack, personal growth, life changes, gay marriage, mental health   Takeaways   Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.David Nygaard's story reflects the complexities of self-discovery.Growing up, he felt an early attraction to men but lacked the language to express it.He wore a metaphorical mask to hide his true self.His involvement in evangelical Christianity was a way to escape depression.David's marriage was filled with happiness despite his hidden sexuality.The divorce allowed him to explore his identity more freely.He experienced a life-changing heart attack that prompted a reevaluation of his life.Authenticity became a priority after his health crisis.Political activism can be a way to impact the community positively.It's important to seek therapy to navigate mixed orientation marriages.David Cotton emphasizes the importance of dating oneself before seeking a partner.He encourages others to seek therapy to navigate their feelings. Sound Bites   "My story reads like a soap opera.""I always had an affinity or an attraction to guys.""We grew up in an age where it was illegal to be gay.""I put on what I'd say is a three foot mask."  Audio Chapters   00:00 Awakening to Identity 05:40 Navigating Relationships and Marriage 10:02 Embracing Authenticity Post-Divorce 18:16 Health Crisis and Life Changes 24:32 Political Aspirations and Community Impact 27:55 Building a New Relationship 30:47 Advice for Those in Mixed Orientation Marriages   Book Recommendation:  “Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi?” by Joe Kort. https://a.co/d/0J2egb1   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/4ius0O4Y_8U YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com   Contact me:  david@davidcottoncoaching.com © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used,...

    33 min

  4. 28/08/2024

    Brian Janes - came out after 26 years of marriage, now finding his place in his new community

    Summary   Brian Janes, a successful real estate broker, came out as gay at age 49 after 26 years of marriage. He loved being married and had a strong connection with his wife, but deep down, he had a sexual desire that didn't match up with her. After years of therapy and self-help, his wife eventually told him she wanted a divorce. Brian knew he was gay from a young age but didn't know how to embrace it. He suppressed his true self and lived in fear of being found out. After his divorce, he made the decision to come out and started a podcast for men coming out later in life.   Keywords:  comingout, marriage, divorce, self-discovery, suppression, fear, loneliness, podcast, outlate, gay, alwaysgay   Takeaways Suppressing your true self can lead to frustration and strain in relationships. Coming out later in life can be a difficult and lonely process. Embracing your true self can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life. Sharing your story and being vulnerable can help others going through similar experiences.   Titles The Journey of Coming Out Later in Life Embracing Your True Self and Finding Personal Growth   Sound Bites "Don't Let Your Wonder Turn Into Closure" "Here I Am, a Proud Gay Man" "You're Not Alone, We're All Out Here"   Chapters (audio) 00:00 Introduction: Brian James' Journey 01:15 The Love and Connection of Marriage 03:11 The Strain and Separation in Divorce 04:09 Suppressing Identity and Fear of Coming Out 08:27 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery 14:13 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children 18:12 Starting the Podcast: Coming Inside Out 23:09 Loneliness and Struggles After Coming Out 28:14 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance 30:31 Conclusion: Forgiving and Loving Yourself   Chapters (video) 00:00 Introduction and Background 03:04 Suppressing True Self in a Marriage 07:50 The Decision to Come Out 10:43 The Power of Wonder and Curiosity 13:36 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children 17:23 Exploring the New World 19:17 Regrets and Self-Kindness 21:2 0Loneliness and Self-Discovery 24:19 Starting the Podcast 27:37 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance 29:54 Summary and Closing   Song Lyric Reflection: Ben Platt's "Older."  Older lyrics:  https://www.google.com/search?q=ben+platt+older+lyrics&oq=ben+platt+older+lyrics&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIKCAEQABiABBiiBDIKCAIQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ2NzdqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8Older on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_sADbvPmzE  Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:    https://youtu.be/n3Iuqhu2K5M  YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com   Contact me:  a...

    32 min

  5. 20/07/2024

    Ron Bunnell - 39 years into his marriage before he came out to his wife; now living a full life

    Summary   Ron Bunnell shares his journey of coming out as gay later in life and the impact it had on his marriage. Despite initial fears, Ron's wife, Barb, showed love and support, and they were able to rebuild their relationship. Ron emphasizes the importance of being authentic and true to oneself, even if it means facing challenges. He also highlights the significance of finding support from others in similar situations. Ron's story serves as an inspiration for those navigating mixed orientation marriages and coming out later in life.   Keywords coming out, late in life, marriage, support, authenticity   Takeaways Coming out later in life can be a challenging journey, but it is worth pursuing authenticity and being true to oneself.Support from loved ones, like Ron's wife Barb, can make a significant difference in navigating the complexities of a mixed orientation marriage.Finding a support group or community of individuals in similar situations can provide valuable guidance and understanding.Ron's story highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and open-mindedness in relationships and families.Sound Bites "I literally thought my life would end as I knew it""She wanted me to text her updates on what's going on""I have young friends who don't even have a coming out story, I'm just myself"Chapters 00:00 - Introduction: David Cotton's Out Late Podcast 01:13- Ron's Decision to Come Out to His Wife 03:11- Barb's Surprising Reaction and the Rebuilding of Their Relationship 08:27- Challenges and Complications in Ron's Journey 13:43- Ron's Childhood and Early Signs of His Sexual Orientation 17:53- The Social and Cultural Context of Ron's Coming Out Journey 19:19- The Impact of Ron's Sexual Orientation on His Marriage 22:00- Finding Support and Meeting Scott 25:14- The Kidney Donation and Its Impact on Ron and Barb's Relationship 28:36- Barb's Lasting Support and Ron's Advice for Others 33:02- Closing Remarks: Ron's Inspiring Journey   Book Recommendation:  Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages – Bonnie Kaye and Doug Dittmer - https://a.co/d/cMEgHNO   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/ep8EEuvEn1U  YouTube Channel:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

    34 min

  6. 05/06/2024

    Brian Beaudette - after being married for 20 years he struggled with the impact on his family

    Summary David's guest, Brian, first came out to his wife over 20 years ago but chose to stay married for the sake of his family.   It took ten years for him to decide it was time to live a different kind of life. Today, at age 59 he can finally say he’s “found his tribe.”  Takeaways The struggle of coming out after being married for 20 yearsThe impact of coming out on family, work, and communityFinding a supportive LGBTQ+ community and a sense of belongingThe relief of embracing authenticity and self-discoveryChapters 00:00  The Struggle of Coming Out After 20 Years of Marriage 05:57  Finding Support and Belonging in the LGBTQ+ Community 11:41  Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery After Coming Out Book Recommendation: Gay Men and The New Way Forward, by Raymond L. Rigoglioso - https://a.co/d/7uByFA9 Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:    https://youtu.be/X5L6lz_TX64 YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com     © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

    27 min

  7. 05/05/2024

    Kristin Kalbli - The Impact of Coming Out on Straight Spouses

    Summary In this episode, David Cotton interviews Kristin Kalbli, the host of Our Voices podcast and an LGBT ally. Kristin shares her experience as a straight spouse and her mission to help others in similar situations. They discuss the signs that Kristin missed in her marriage, the impact of her husband's coming out on their relationship, and the importance of honesty and communication in the coming out process. Kristin asks David about his own coming out to his spouse. They also talk about the creation of a guide for coming out to straight partners and spouses, and the need for support and understanding for both parties involved. Takeaways The coming out process can have a significant impact on straight spouses, who may feel betrayed, confused, and humiliated.Honesty and open communication are crucial in the coming out process, both for the LGBT spouse and the straight spouse.Straight spouses may have questions and need time to process the news, and it's important for the LGBT spouse to be patient and understanding.Creating a guide for coming out to straight partners and spouses can help avoid unnecessary pain and damage in the relationship.Support and empathy are essential for both parties involved in a mixed orientation marriage.Sound Bites "The hardest thing that took me the longest to forgive was not that he was gay, not that he was in the closet, but that he didn't let me go so that I could find a loving relationship with a man who was interested in me, loved me, desired me, wanted to have a robust sexual relationship with me.""If you're in a position to honor what your spouse would like, whether that's answering their questions or giving them no contact for a while, I think following their lead on that is wise.""Pride month can be really difficult for straight spouses. And that's not an indication of bigotry. Many straight spouses have LGBT kids and are fierce allies and defenders of their kids, right? But pride month can be really painful because then you ask yourself the question, well, if he's living his true self now, then I was a part of a lie."Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 01:09 Kristin's Experience as a Straight Spouse 09:49 Resources for Straight Spouses 14:11 The Coming Out Process and Its Impact 28:46 Preparing to Come Out to a Straight Spouse 31:31 Supporting the Straight Spouse 35:42 Honesty and Accountability 39:34 Conclusion Information About Kristin Kalbli and OurPath Out Path Out Voice:  https://ourpath.org/our-voices/Guide to coming out as lesbian, gay or bisexual to your straight partner or spouse - by OurPath:  https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/OP-GuideToComingOutLGB-r1.pdfBook Recommendation The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, by Amity Pierce Buxton - https://a.co/d/129LQiC  Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/vv20ZumingY   YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified...

    40 min

  8. 12/04/2024

    Charles Vollmar - successful chef…married with 2 kids; wife discovers he's gay and outed him to everyone

    Summary   Charles Vollmer, a successful California chef, shares his journey of coming out later in life and the challenges he faced. After being outed by his wife, he left his possessions behind and started a new life in San Miguel, Mexico. He is rebuilding his career as a culinary teacher and started sharing his story on social media. Charles discusses the unique challenges faced by men who come out later in life, the impact on their families, and the need for support and understanding. He emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and finding a community of like-minded individuals.   Keywords:  coming out, late in life, challenges, rebuilding, support, community   Takeaways Coming out later in life can be a challenging and traumatic experience, but it can also lead to personal growth and happiness.The impact on family and relationships can be significant, and rebuilding trust and understanding takes time.Finding a supportive community and seeking professional help can be crucial in navigating the complexities of coming out later in life.Being true to oneself and embracing authenticity is essential for personal fulfillment and living a fulfilling life.  Titles The Importance of Support and UnderstandingRebuilding After Coming Out: Finding a New Path  Sound Bites "Divorcing, giving up my San Francisco Bay home of 30 years and everything in it, donating 99% of my clothing and personal belongings and selling my car. I left for Europe to begin my life over at 61."Chapters  00:00  Introduction: Charles Vollmer's Journey10:38  Starting Over: Rebuilding After Coming Out25:00  Reflections and Regrets: Lessons Learned30:59  Advice for Others: Taking Your Time and Finding Support  About Charles Vollmar Epicurean Exchange Culinary Travel:   www.epexculinarytravel.comBlog:  www.epicureanglobalexchange.comFacebook, Threads, Instagram: All @ CharlesVollmarBook Recommendation: Gay Men and The New Way Forward, by Raymond L. Rigoglioso - https://a.co/d/1AROMMu   Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com   YouTube Edition:  https://youtu.be/SLJXxU-wUaw  YouTube Channel:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton:  https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com   Contact me:  mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

    34 min
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À propos

I'm a life coach who came out later in life as gay. Join me as I talk with others who’ve made this LGBTQ+ coming out journey later in their lives to become who they really are.

Informations

  • Création
    David Cotton
  • Années d’activité
    2023 - 2025
  • Épisodes
    21
  • Classification
    Contenu explicite
  • Copyright
    © Out Late With David: Coming Out Later in Life LGBTQ+
  • Site web de l’émission
    Out Late With David

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