Part 1: Couples Make it Work Only When I Do My Part with Dr. Geoff Goodman

Dr. Rob welcomes back podcast guest Dr. Geoff Goodman for a conversation about the impact that addiction has on relationships.  He offers insights into the struggle of not only the addict, but of their partner as well, and shares his experience with falling in love with a woman who did not know that he was an addict.  Some partners are more supportive and involved while others appear to be disinterested or even disgusted and fed up.  No matter what scenario you’re in, there is hope for finding a life beyond addiction, together. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:24] What people don’t understand about addicts, from the partner perspective. 

[3:56] Dr. Geoff revealed his own sex addiction to his partner long before they were married. 

[6:30] From a spouse’s point of view, learning about addiction can feel like a bait and switch.

[7:50] ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ only works for so long in a committed relationship. Even the ‘right one’ can’t resolve a loved one’s addiction. 

[10:15] Willing yourself out of addictive behavior has a very short success rate. 

[11:22] When enough is enough, there is hope for addicts. 

[12:46] Addiction prevents partners from being fully committed to each other, both in and out of the bedroom. 

[16:40] Reading literature about porn addiction can help a partner understand what you are going through. 

[18:46] Your partner knows better than anyone what you are going through in recovery. 

[19:39] Geoff’s career of treating sex addicts didn’t start until he was in recovery. 

[22:40] Geoff explains why he doesn’t self-disclose to his patients. 

[24:50] The impact of addiction and recovery on parenting. 

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Dr. Geoff Goodman

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

QUOTES:

• “From a spouses’ point of view, addiction must feel like a bait and switch.” 
• “Reading literature about porn addiction helped broaden the picture to help her understand that this isn’t unique to me.  This is a problem that many men experience.” 
• “I can’t even imagine being a father and acting out, even though I know it happens all of the time.”