Part 2: Couples Make it Work Only When I Do My Part with Dr. Geoff Goodman

Dr. Rob continues his conversation with Dr. Geoff Goodman about the power of the 12 Step program, which worked for Geoff when nothing else did. Finding an effective therapist who can support you and your partner requires so much more than just delving into the past - it requires making demands and setting goals that you can realistically achieve as you move forward.  One huge component of recovery for both you and your partner is finding the right support groups.  If the first one isn’t a good fit, don’t give up, keep trying until you are surrounded by people who can lift you up, whether you are the recovering addict or the spouse!

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:30] The power of the 12 Step program, for Geoff, is that it works. 

[3:18] Understanding the why behind your addiction won’t automatically shift your behavior. 

[8:50] Effective therapists will help addicts beyond simply understanding their past. 

[11:28] If you’re acting out sexually in ways that are ruining your life, your therapist can help!

[13:35] Addiction recovery does not equate to relationship therapy. 

[16:02] How might spouses consider self-examination without feeling blamed for their spouse’s addiction? 

[19:45] Finding needed support when finances and resources don’t allow it. 

[24:26] “I don’t belong there”- how to find the right support group for you. 

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Dr. Geoff Goodman

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

12 Step Recovery 

QUOTES:

• “I didn’t want to make a complete lifestyle change.  I wanted to get better, but avoid that.” 
• “Addiction is so irresistible that knowing the causes is a nice intellectual pursuit but it doesn’t really help you on the ground.” 
• “The 12 Step Program isn’t going to turn your husband into Prince Charming.” 
• “You are healing and changing itself does not make you a loving, kind, empathing, engaged partner.  It just means you stopped lying and stopped hating yourself.”