PLAYING-IT-SAFE

Dr. Z. - Patricia Zurita Ona, Psy.D.
PLAYING-IT-SAFE

I'm Dr. Z., a clinical psychologist and an author. In PLAYING-IT-SAFE I will share with you research based-skills, interviews, readings, insights, tips, and all types of curated info to get unstuck from worries, anxieties, fears, obsessions, and ineffective playing-it-safe actions.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. SEP 10

    92. Achieving your best: Goal-setting secrets from sports psychology

    Today, I’m sharing with you a conversation with Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. In our chat, we dive deep into the psychology of goal-setting, attachment to goals, over-identification with one area of our life, peak performance, and mental resilience. When you’re taking a big exam, dealing with a work project, or participating in an important match, how do you manage your worries about your performance and your desire to perform to the best of your abilities?Are you supportive of yourself without adding pressure into your plate?How do you think of yourself without all the stuff you do in your day-to-day life? While having goals is essential for your performance and motivation, they are just one piece of the puzzle. You also need to manage your mental chatter to perform at your best when it matters to you! You will hear Mitchell and I sharing our take on Roger Federer, Rick Barry, Kobe Bryant, Andre Agassi, and other professional athletes’ approach to their performance, expectations, and goal-setting. Whether you’re dealing with high-stakes sports scenarios or everyday life challenges, the principles to set your goals, how you relate to them, and how you approach your mental chatter remain the same. You can find meaning and joy by making small tweaks and savoring the good along the way! Hope you enjoy this episode! Key Takeaways Understanding fear-based reactionsSetting goals for improved performanceManaging mind chatter in sportsThe role of mental skills in athletic successBalancing life and sport: Lessons from Roger Federer and Andre AgassiThe importance of parental support in youth sports Show notes 01:01 The Importance of Goal Setting 01:08 The Problem with Tunnel Vision  01:44 Importance of Outcome Goals  02:45 The Role of Action Goals 03:43 Goal setting and mental chatter 04:34 Managing Chatter for Success  05:30 Developing a New Relationship with Your Mind  06:01 Lessons from Roger Federer 06:43 Advice for Struggling Athletes  07:22 Mental Game of Professional Athletes  08:58 Perfectionism in Sports 11:42 Small Increments of Improvement 13:15 Leadership Challenges in Sports  13:55 Balancing Life and Sport  16:10 The Impact of Injuries on a Person’s Mindset 16:52 Parental Influence on Young Athletes  18:02 Coaching the Coaches (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    24 min
  2. AUG 13

    91. Unlocking your potential: Conquering perfectionism and imposter phenomenon

    In part 1 of my conversation with Monica Basco, Ph.D., Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance, we discussed the following topics: Perfectionism and high-achieving behaviorsUnderstanding the impact of high goalsThe role of confidence in goal settingThe intersection of perfectionism and procrastination In this second part of our conversation, Monica kindly shared her transition from academia to the White House as an introduction to the focus of this episode: the intersection of perfectionism and imposter phenomenon. Perfectionists set exceptionally high standards for themselves, displaying a relentless drive to achieve what they perceive as flawless outcomes. However, when these standards are not met, it can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy. Even when they succeed, perfectionists may fear that others will see through their façade, further perpetuating the imposter phenomenon. A highlight of our conversation is the importance of discerning when perfectionistic actions are an asset and when they become a liability. Key Takeaways Perfectionism and imposter phenomenonExploring imposter phenomenonPerfectionism and self-expectationsOvercoming imposter syndromeThe transition from academia to governmentPerfectionism in different contextsBalancing perfectionism and fear of failureDistinguishing when to turn on and off perfectionistic actions Show notes with time-stamps 00:00 The Intersection of Perfectionism and Imposter Phenomenon 05:03 Personal Story: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome 10:10 Transition from Academia to the White House 16:12 The Role of Perfectionism in Government and Science 18:23 Fear of Failure and Perfectionism 22:52 How Different Fears Influence Behavior (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    31 min
  3. MAR 6

    90. Overcoming fear of failure

    Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies! If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now. When you’re pursuing a top performance – from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and your well-being altogether. In this episode, Brad Stulberg and I discussed research-based skills to deal with high-achieving and striving behaviors in a skillful manner and without losing yourself.  Key Takeaways How to distinguish when perfectionistic actions are working for you or against youThe difference between values-based goals and ego-driven goalsHow to avoid burnout in the information eraHow to manage your proneness to perfectionistic actionsDay-to-day experiences of experiential avoidanceTips to handle the fear of failureHow to figure out what is on the other side of your fearsHow to practice self-compassion when handling our fears Show notes with time stamps 00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions 01:02 Overcoming Perfectionism 01:36 Interview with Brad Stulberg: High Achieving and Striving Behaviors 02:19 Reflecting on Your Life and Overcoming Overthinking 03:28 Living According to Your Values 04:10 Using a Values-Based Review to Live the Life You Want 04:46 Conversation with Brad Stulberg: Balancing Productivity and Wellbeing 05:43 Understanding the Double-Edged Sword of Optimization 08:44 Dealing with Fear of Failure and Regret 17:48 Navigating Ego-Driven Goals and Values-Based Goals 24:09 Overcoming Experiential Avoidance (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    33 min
  4. JAN 17

    89. Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance

    Perfectionism isn’t a personality quirk. It’s a pattern of reinforced behaviors that can seep into every aspect of your life. You may set certain standards for yourself, certain rules about how things are supposed to be or how you are supposed to behave; while you may meet those standards for a while, they eventually - and inevitably - fall short. Then, you feel crushed. Then, you criticize yourself. And then, to drown out the negativity, you set new goals, standards, and expectations for yourself. The cycle of ineffective perfectionistic actions repeats and maintains itself. There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly - that’s natural when you deeply care about things and what matters to you. And, as you have heard me say before, it’s extremely important that you learn to harness the power of perfectionistic actions without losing yourself.  In this podcast episode, I chat with Monica Basco, Ph.D. We discuss specific topics related to perfectionism in detail: (a) A large part of the conversation clarifies how having high standards and being perfectionistic can be both, beneficial and detrimental, and finding the balance between the two is crucial. (b) We also discussed the interplay between perfectionistic behaviors and procrastination as two sides of the same coin. (c) Monica and I highlighted the fact that setting high-goals is productive when one can tolerate failure. However, learning to pursue what matters and learning to let things go - as the right thing to do - is also important. (d) Finally, we discuss ideas for you to conduct a functional analysis, or in other words, we discuss key questions for you to understand your drive to engage in perfectionistic actions (e.g., what is my mind trying to protect me from right now?) Key Takeaways Discussing perfectionism and high-achieving behaviorsUnderstanding the impact of high goalsThe role of confidence in goal settingThe intersection of perfectionism and procrastination Show notes with time-stamps 01:00 Understanding Fear and Perfectionism 01:31 Dealing with Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors 02:35 Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Perfectionism 04:14 Setting Goals and Dealing with Failure 05:12 Understanding Overachievement and Expectations 08:37 Dealing with Rejection and Pursuing Goals 20:43 Understanding the Intersection of Perfectionism and Procrastination (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min
  5. JAN 3

    88. Harnessing the power of values-based exposures

    Today’s episode takes off with discussing fears of driving. This is the starting point to discuss a key process within acceptance commitment therapy: values-based exposures. In this episode, you will learn the principles to approach your fears, worries, and anxieties in a flexible way and in the service of your values. Brian Thompson, Ph.D. and I covered different ACT skills such as defusion, values, willingness and what you can do if you’re getting stuck in conquering your fears or you’re afraid of starting the process of facing your anxieties. Key Takeaways What is willingnessHow to deal with uncertaintyWhat to do when you’re powering through a fearful situationWhat is exposureUnderstanding fear-based reactions and safe behaviorsExploring the concept of exposure in overcoming fearDealing with physical sensations during fearful situationsThe role of acceptance and commitment therapy in overcoming fearUnderstanding the concept of willingness in therapyAddressing fear of uncertainty and unpredictabilityIntroduction to the upcoming book on act-informed exposure for anxietyUnderstanding act and exposureDealing with chronic worryEffective problem solving vs. worry Show notes with time stamps 00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions and Safe Behaviors 01:00 Exploring Exposure Therapy and Anxiety 01:09 Dealing with Physical Sensations During Panic Attacks 02:44 Strategies to Manage Anxiety and Fear 03:39 Addressing Intrusive Thoughts and Fears 04:16 Understanding Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 07:33 Exploring Willingness in Therapy 14:28 Addressing Fear of Uncertainty 17:28 Introduction to ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety 19:19 Discussing the Book and Its Approach 19:44 Recommendations for Approaching the Book 19:45 Understanding the Process of Exposure 20:38 The Role of Repetition in Exposure 21:37 Handling Chronic Worries and Ruminations 22:12 Using ACT for Chronic Worry 23:11 Writing Imaginal Scripts for Worries 26:13 Effective Problem Solving vs. Worry 26:50 Distinguishing Between Productive and Unproductive Worry (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    35 min
  6. 12/20/2023

    87. How to perform your best when it matters most

    Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure? You're not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life's challenges with confidence?  I had a chance to talk to Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. regarding performance anxiety, managing self-doubt, and comparison thoughts among athletes or overthinkers.  If you have been following the podcast, you know by now that by making room for your thoughts, rather than struggling against them, you can redirect your focus towards the present moment and towards what matters.  In today’s episode, we discussed other micro-skills to manage mental chatter with curiosity and courage.  Key Takeaways The pitfalls of positive thinkingManaging mind chatterHow to shift your attention from hypothetical worries to the present momentRedirecting your attention from “what if” to “what is”How to manage lapses in confidenceA useful mindset to perform challenging tasksExploring the concept of positive thinkingUnderstanding mind chatter and its impactStrategies for managing mind chatterApplying mind chatter management in real-life scenarios (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
  7. 12/06/2023

    86. Breaking free from worry loops

    Picture this scenario: you encounter an ambiguous and uncertain situation, and then, of course, you quickly try to solve it. You anticipate all types of scenarios and try to prepare for each one of them, without realizing you are worrying and consumed with anxiety. Worry is primarily a thought-based process, and that’s what makes it tricky. Unpacking worry thoughts and distinguishing the unhelpful from the helpful ones are crucial. We all worry from time to time, that’s unavoidable. But playing-it-safe by worrying all the time takes a hefty toll on your well-being, happiness, and relationships. In this episode, I interview Dr. Chad Lejeune, Ph.D. We discussed the subtleties of worrying, what keeps worry cycles, and the importance of developing a new relationship with your mind. In the second part of the interview, I shared with Chad an unexpected situation I encountered when traveling, and we used that as an opportunity to discuss micro-skills to manage uncertainty, what-if thoughts, and reassurance-seeking and information-seeking behaviors. Key Takeaways How to develop a new relationship with thinkingHow to distinguish effective problem-solving from ineffective oneUnderstanding fear and anxietyDefining worry and its impactThe role of thoughts in worryDistinguishing between productive and nonproductive worryThe consequences of worryAddressing beliefs about worryChanging our relationship with our thoughtsDealing with unexpected situationsEmbracing uncertainty and ambiguityThe anxious brain and uncertaintyProductive thoughts and problem-solvingThe power of narratives and storytellingThe distinction between problem-solving and creating narrativesThe danger of excessive information-seekingThe power of accepting uncertaintyThe importance of learning from the past Show notes with time stamps 00:27 Understanding Fear and Anxiety 01:26 Defining Worry and Its Impact 02:27 Distinguishing Between Worry and Problem-Solving 05:50 The Consequences of Worry 06:43 Addressing Beliefs About Worry 11:27 Changing Our Relationship with Our Thoughts 17:41 Practical Example: Dealing with Unexpected Situations 22:59 The Power of Productive Thoughts 23:56 The Mind's Narratives and Their Impact 25:46 The Distinction Between Problem Solving and Worrying 28:15 The Power of Acceptance and Living in the Present 28:20 The Pitfalls of Excessive Information Seeking 29:12 The Role of Google in Reassurance Seeking 32:29 The Importance of Embracing Uncertainty (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    42 min
  8. 11/29/2023

    85. Embracing self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-exploration

    We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you’re prone to deeply caring for what you do - as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists - then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified. In this conversation, Annick Seys and I discussed the many layers in which these fears show up and how nourishing your observer-self can shift from self-criticism into self-acceptance, from self-judgment into self-compassion, and from emotional avoidance into curious behaviors. Cultivating your observer-self isn't just about self-distancing; it is about your well-being and living a purpose-driven life. Key Takeaways How to deal with the gap between expectations and realityHow to practice self-acceptanceHow to unpack the fear of being a failure in the momentHow to understand the fear of being a failureThe problem with toxic positivityRelational Frame Theory of LanguageHow to nourish your observer-selfUnderstanding the observer-selfThe power of curiositySelf-compassion on-the-go Show notes with time stamps 00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions 01:00 The Struggles of Time Management 01:07 Dealing with Disappointments and Failures 05:31 Exploring Self-Acceptance 06:01 The Ongoing Exercise of Self-Acceptance 11:45 Unpacking the Fear of Failure 14:12 The Impact of Toxic Positivity 17:47 Tapping into the Observer Self 18:01 Exercises to Connect with the Observer Self 20:50 Understanding the Observer Self 24:03 Experiencing Different Moods 26:11 Relating to Past Experiences 29:59 Overcoming the Fear of Failure (*) Show notes and resources of this episode (*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe (*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head (*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    35 min
5
out of 5
27 Ratings

About

I'm Dr. Z., a clinical psychologist and an author. In PLAYING-IT-SAFE I will share with you research based-skills, interviews, readings, insights, tips, and all types of curated info to get unstuck from worries, anxieties, fears, obsessions, and ineffective playing-it-safe actions.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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