The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav
  • 4.8 (662)
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

  1. HACE 2 DÍAS

    Beyond Blame: A Message for the Children of Divorce

    When a marriage falls apart, the story children see is often only a small part of what truly happened. One parent may look angry or reactive while the other appears calm or composed — but underneath, both are often hurting, both are surviving, and both are human. In this heartfelt episode, life coach and podcast host Renee Swanson speaks directly to the sons and daughters who grew up in homes shaped by emotional turmoil or quiet disconnection. She offers a compassionate look at why one parent may have stayed, why the other finally left, and how fear, shame, and survival can silently erode connection over time. This episode isn’t about blame — it’s about understanding. Renee invites adult children to see their parents’ humanity, to build their own relationships free of loyalty binds and guilt, and to use the pain they witnessed as a source of awareness and healing for their own lives. Why love can turn into survival inside emotionally unsafe marriages How unhealed pain blocks repair and destroys trust Why the parent who walked away may have been trying to save the family, not abandon it The role of emotional intelligence — and what this generation can do differently How adult children can break the cycle through awareness, compassion, and boundaries If your parent sent you this episode, it’s because they love you — and want you to understand their story, and yours, with gentleness and truth. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    20 min

  2. HACE 6 DÍAS

    When Your Mind Won’t Stop: Escaping the Trap of Catastrophic Thinking After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

    If your mind can take one tiny worry and turn it into a full-blown disaster movie, you’re not alone. That’s catastrophic thinking — and it’s one of the most common patterns survivors of covert narcissistic abuse struggle with. After years of walking on eggshells, your brain learns to expect danger, even when there’s none. Whether you lived with a covertly abusive spouse or grew up under a narcissistic parent, your nervous system has been trained to stay on high alert. It’s not because you’re weak — it’s because your brain learned to survive chaos. In this episode, Renee dives into how catastrophic thinking forms, why it’s so persistent, and how to retrain your mind for peace. You’ll learn practical tools to interrupt the spiral, including the Mickey Mouse voice trick, separating facts from fears, grounding your body in the present moment, and shifting from “what if” to “even if.” You’ll discover how to talk to your inner protector with compassion, stop rehearsing disaster, and start rehearsing calm. This is your permission to stop living in fear of the next explosion — and start building safety within yourself. Because peace doesn’t come from control. It comes from trust — the quiet knowing that you can handle what comes next. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    23 min

  3. 23 OCT

    But They Had a Rough Childhood”: When Excuses Become Permission Slips for Abuse

    We’ve all heard it—“But they had a rough childhood.” “They just don’t know any better.” “You have to feel sorry for them.” Yes, empathy is beautiful. But at some point, we have to ask: how far does this excuse go? In this episode, Renee pulls back the curtain on one of the most common traps survivors of covert narcissistic abuse fall into—confusing compassion with obligation. She unpacks the endless list of excuses narcissistic partners use to justify their cruelty, from childhood trauma to Mercury being in retrograde, and explains why understanding someone’s pain doesn’t mean accepting their abuse. Through stories, examples, and that signature CNG mix of truth, humor, and hope, you’ll learn how to balance empathy with accountability—and how to protect your peace without hardening your heart. If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries or staying angry “too long,” this one’s for you. Listen to learn: Why trauma explains behavior but never excuses it The difference between compassion and self-destruction How covert narcissists weaponize empathy What real accountability actually looks like How to keep your compassion from turning into exhaustion Because loving someone doesn’t mean letting them hurt you—and healing begins the moment you say, this is not okay. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min

  4. 19 OCT

    How to Handle Triangulation: Protecting You and Your Children

    Triangulation doesn’t stop just because you see it. In fact, once you recognize the pattern, the covert narcissist often pushes harder, twisting words, controlling the story, and pulling others into the tension. In this episode, Renee walks you through how to handle triangulation in every stage of the journey: While you’re still in the relationship, how to stay grounded, refuse the bait, and protect your sanity. After you’ve left, how to respond to smear campaigns and stay out of the narcissist’s narrative. When your kids are being triangulated, how to create emotional safety, speak calm truth, and keep them from being pulled into the conflict. You’ll learn how to recognize when others are also in survival mode, how to extend grace without losing boundaries, and how to rebuild trust in yourself and the relationships that matter most. Because healing from triangulation isn’t about winning the argument, it’s about reclaiming your peace, protecting your children, and stepping out of someone else’s story for good. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min

  5. 16 OCT

    Covert Narcissism Unmasked: Sarma Melngailis on Manipulation, Awakening, and Resilience

    In Part 2 of my conversation with Sarma Melngailis, we dive into the turning point—the awakening after covert narcissistic abuse. Sarma shares the moment she began to see the manipulation clearly, how she learned to gray rock and set boundaries, and what it means to find freedom after years of psychological control. Together, we unpack the neurobiology of cognitive dissonance, the pull of trauma bonds, and the courage it takes to finally close the door for good. In this episode: The “ice queen” strategy and how to emotionally disengage Why closure can be the most dangerous trap How cognitive dissonance and fear keep survivors stuck Rebuilding self-trust after coercion and public judgment Sarma’s insight into the psychological and spiritual aftermath of abuse offers hope to anyone finding their way back to self-trust and peace. Her memoir The Girl With The Duck Tattoo continues to open eyes about coercion, consent, and resilience after narcissistic abuse. Learn more about my coaching and recovery programs at www.covertnarcissism.com Share your thoughts below—how have you learned to reclaim your voice after manipulation? THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    28 min

  6. 14 OCT

    Covert Narcissist Triangulation: How They Control the Narrative and Divide Relationships

    Triangulation is one of the covert narcissist’s most insidious tools — because it’s quiet, invisible, and devastating. It’s how they control the narrative, twist communication, and turn the people you love against each other — all while pretending to be the calm, reasonable “peacekeeper.” In this episode, Renee shares two powerful stories that reveal how triangulation slowly poisons relationships: The first, a marriage where everything seems fine on the surface — until every conversation starts getting filtered through one partner’s control. The second, a family where a covertly narcissistic parent quietly pits two siblings against each other for decades. Through these stories and a heartfelt reflection, you’ll learn how triangulation erodes trust, damages connection, and keeps survivors trapped in confusion and self-doubt. Join Renee next week as she continues this conversation with how to step out of triangulation and begin repairing the relationships it’s damaged. Because once you see the pattern, you can finally start breaking free from it. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    17 min

  7. 9 OCT

    From “Bad Vegan” to Truth Teller: Sarma Melngailis on Covert Narcissistic Abuse and Self-Discovery

    Sarma Melngailis—best known from the Netflix docuseries Bad Vegan—joins me to reveal the story the headlines never told. In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Sarma opens up about covert narcissistic abuse, repeated manipulation, and the long road of self-discovery that followed. We explore how empathy, idealism, and even neurodivergence can make survivors more vulnerable to covert abuse—and how these same traits can also become sources of strength and healing. In Part 1, we go beyond the public narrative into: The early relationship patterns that mirrored covert narcissistic abuse Why intelligent, capable people can still miss the warning signs The link between sensitivity, empathy, and manipulation Finding self-compassion after shame and public judgment Sarma’s new memoir The Girl With The Duck Tattoo reveals the deeper truth of her experience—a story of narcissistic abuse, manipulation, and resilience. If you’ve ever felt unseen or misunderstood, this episode will remind you that your empathy is not your weakness—it’s your superpower. Learn more about my coaching and recovery programs at www.covertnarcissism.com. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    31 min

  8. 5 OCT

    When You Snap: The Breaking Point After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

    You didn’t just wake up one day and decide to slap them. That moment — the one that now fills you with shame and self-blame — didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s been building for a long time. In this episode, Renee Swanson explores what happens when years of emotional invalidation, manipulation, and gaslighting finally push you past your breaking point. When your calm exterior cracks, and your reaction — whether yelling, slamming a door, or even lashing out — leaves you wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” With deep compassion and truth, Renee explains the nervous system’s response to chronic emotional stress, how covert narcissists weaponize your reactions, and why a single moment does not define your character. You’ll hear a powerful story of one survivor who reached her limit — and how Renee helped her see that vulnerability and accountability can exist alongside self-forgiveness. This episode isn’t about condoning reactive behavior. It’s about understanding it — and breaking free from the shame that keeps survivors stuck in silence. If you’ve ever felt deep remorse after snapping, this conversation will help you see your humanity with new eyes. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    21 min
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

Información

  • Creador
    Renee Swanson, Bleav
  • Años de actividad
    2021 - 2025
  • Episodios
    389
  • Clasificación
    Apto
  • Copyright
    © Renee Swanson
  • Mostrar sitio web
    The Covert Narcissism Podcast

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