Dear Midlife...

Shelby Bybee and Trinity Greenfield
Dear Midlife...

Listen up, gorgeous! Are you over 40? Are you feeling stuck? The proverbial midlife crisis is for real and we're here to tell you that you don't have to go it alone! The Dear Midlife mission is all about unleashing mind-blowing transformation for fabulous women in the middle. We are here to serve up sizzling inspiration and turbocharged tips and tools to arm you with the power and courage to remember who you are, figure out who in the hell you want to become and chase your passions like a total boss...even if it means kicking those old versions of yourself to the curb. So buckle up, We're all about pushing boundaries, getting cozy with discomfort, and living life without apology. Get ready to conquer with confidence and style!

  1. قبل ٥ أيام

    Finding Personal Empowerment Through Intuitive Healing

    You know, I think I had a pretty idyllic upbringing. While my mother passed away when I was young, my father quickly remarried and he and my stepmother (who I call "mom") were tremendous role models and parents. They were both executives and taught me that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. My mother was a testament to what women can achieve when they challenge societal norms. My siblings and I were close. However, there was a high bar set in the family. I grew up feeling that I had to be perfect in order to be acknowledged or loved, leaving me feeling like I was "not enough". As a result, I've carried the need for perfectionism, hustle, and "performance" into my adulthood. We all have our stories, don't we? Sometimes these stories prevent us from living the life we are meant to because they breed imposter syndrome, fear, uncertainty, and doubt that we are capable or that we are enough.  Our guest today, Alicia Farricielli, is here today to help us understand new tools and techniques to let go of our own inhibitions and to follow our intuition to find our future. Alicia is a Certified Life and Health Coach specializing in intuitive healing and personal empowerment. Her philosophy focuses on intuition, holistic wellbeing, and life balance, helping clients overcome limiting beliefs, embrace change, and unlock their potential. Through her own experiences of overcoming adversity and mastering life's complexities, Alicia brings empathy and profound insight to her coaching, to aid individuals in their quest for self-discovery and freedom from insecurity, anxiety, and burnout. Committed to nurturing inner strength and equilibrium, Alicia stands as a pillar of support and motivation for those on the path to authenticity, growth, and a harmoniously empowered existence. Alicia is also the host of The Intuitive Revolution Podcast.  As a holistic coach and healer, Alicia believes that within each of us lies an untapped wellspring of power, often hidden beneath layers of past hurts and self-doubt. Her mission is to help her clients peel back these layers. She guides her clients to gently explore their inner childhood wounds to release old patterns and reclaim the vibrant essence of who they truly are. In today's episode, she helps us learn to reframe the perspectives that once held us back. What seem like insurmountable obstacles will become stepping stones on your path to growth. This journey isn't just mental; it's energetic and spiritual too. As a Reiki Master and energy practitioner, she channels universal life force to clear blockages, balance your energy centers, and amplify your innate healing abilities. Alicia has come to discover that this work is her calling. She revels at the fact that she gets to witness her clients transform from feeling trapped by circumstances to becoming the architects of their dreams. And, listen, ladies. If you're ready to transcend the ordinary and craft a life that's magically and uniquely yours, we are here to walk that path with you. We started the Dear Midlife podcast because we were feeling stuck and lost. If this is you...it is time to take the steps to turn your wildest dreams into your lived reality. ⁠In this episode, Alicia teaches us: Two thousand years ago, we trusted our intuition. As society evolved, we were conditioned to seek guidance from others—like influencers, media, or evangelists—over our own instincts. To live fully, we need to balance logic with intuition.When learning to cultivate your intuition, start with the little things. Follow your intuition when deciding which route to travel to your destination, or when you decide what to wear, or what to eat. Ask yourself "what do I want?" and then go with the first thing that pops into your mind.When you follow your intuition, you are surrendering to the result, no matter what! It may not be the...

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  2. ٨ جمادى الآخرة

    Rewriting Your Life's Story and Finding Yourself

    You know, in 2016, I got divorced and left a toxic relationship in which I was so busy accommodating the needs of everyone else, I really lost who I was. So, at the encouragement of a friend I picked up a book called "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod, which advocates 6 new habits that highly successful people do, one of which is journaling. And if you've gotten to know me by now, you know when I decide to do something, I'm ALL IN. So, I adopt this new habit of getting up earlier in the morning and go through the practices in the book and really found the journaling piece therapeutic. Before I knew it, I was journaling in longer increments of time each day 15 minutes became 30 and even 45 minutes sometimes. It helped me to heal. I identified patterns that I wanted to let go of. I identified goals I wanted to work towards and held myself accountable to achieving them. It was an amazing practice that helped me heal in so many ways AND it truly helped me to reflect and remember who I was...that woman that had been so lost. Our guest today, Jessa Frances, also found healing in the power of the pen and uses a signature memoir writing program that helps people holistically work their way from past to present to future. Through the program, they are able to recognize their patterns and their limiting beliefs where they stemmed from and to finally process them and release them with self-awareness self forgiveness and self-love. Jessa is a badass and is not only a holistic writing coach, but also a USAF veteran, a black belt in tae-kwon-do and a trauma informed yoga instructor. In this episode, she helps us to understand that our story is our roadmap to finding our purpose and meaning in life by finding our selves! You are the open book. Get curious not judgmental and discover yourself. She runs an incredible holistic community membership called "The Empowered Path" that supports people in overcoming their past, becoming present in the now, and feeling confident, aligned, and empowered. She uses her gifts of writing, yoga, mindfulness, and meditation to help her clients rewire their own neuropathways for healing. In this episode, Jessa teaches us: A memoir is a theme-based story about You. To truly write your memoir, interview others who know you well, family members with whom you've lived and grown up. Reflect on old photographs to draw the memories forward and in this space, learn to love yourself again OR uncover the secret to what is holding you back.Using writing as a technique for healing is so powerful because it pulls memories and emotion from your limbic and using the logical brain (the prefrontal cortex) to make sense of these emotions and memories.By combining writing and encouraging her clients to REwrite their story and acknowledge the trauma, using mindfulness to rewire neuropathways, and yoga to process the trauma through your body, you can find a new way to think and feel.When you are feeling a certain way (blame, shame, anger) dig in and ask yourself "why" you're feeling that way and keep asking why like that 3 year old child until you can find the shadow side of why you feel this way. Then see if you can reframe those thoughts.If there is anything you MUST do for self-care, it is nervous system regulation. Because when we take care of our nervous system, we also are taking care of our digestive system, our heart rate variability, our lymphatic system, our immunity...because this puts us into a place where we are operating in our parasympathetic nervous system. When we operate in fight and flight mode...it has a profound impact on our overall health. One way to do this is through breath work. To find more of Jessa: Website | Unintoxicated.world or a href="https://jessafrances.net" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

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  3. ١ جمادى الآخرة

    Inviting Intention into Our Lives

    This year has been a real year of transition for me and i’m feeling the weight of midlife more than ever. I don’t know about you, but i often find myself living in a space of discontent or negativity. And then I shame myself for feeling this way and end up in a shame spiral because that’s NOT who I am or the way that I want to show up in the world but, I am, admittedly, having a hard time digging myself out. That's why I found the conversation with our guest today, Christina Smith, so refreshing and it has given me a new way to approach life that is so simple, yet transformative. Instead of asking ourselves what we want in midlife (you know...the house, the perfect relationship, the dream job), Christina, instead, encourages us to ask ourselves how we want to feel. Because, you see, if we approach life from this perspective it makes it easier to align or lives with these intentions. It provides us a frame of reference in how we show up to life. Christina is a life coach specializing in confidence and self-love in midlife so that women can finally truly like themselves and how they show up for themselves and their relationships, their jobs, and their lives. She's helped people move through tough transitions in coaching and with her book, Inviting Shift. Her focus is on helping women to empower themselves so they can make their second half of life the best half by dropping the people-pleasing and perfection and stepping into desire, authenticity and joy. Christina is also the host of The Inviting Shift Podcast - a place for midlife women to embrace their uniqueness and truth with confidence. Her mission is to help women reinvent midlife so we can revolutionize how we see aging and ourselves as we age. She encourages people to be more gentle with their humanness so they can truly shine the way they choose to without gratitude lists or toxic positivity. If you're struggling with midlife... Midlife is full of dizzying choices. Instead of asking yourself what you want to do ask yourself how you want it to feel. All the things on our proverbial vision boards are there because of the way they will make us “FEEL”When we identify the way we want to feel or whar are our intentions (Christina’s feelings for the year are “Bold, Open, and Love)”, these things will guide you. You can use these feelings as a frame of reference and can align your choices with how you want to FEEL.Knowing how we want to feel allows us to control what we can. We can’t control what happens around us in this world, and often judge ourselves by the things that happen that are out of our control. But we CAN control how we show up and from what emotional place we approach life. In this space, we can begin to self-validate by reflecting on moments when we show up in this chosen and authentic way.If you want to be happy when you get there, to the place or “thing” you know will make you happy, you have to bring happy with you. You have to make choicOwn your time and spaes for your happiness every day, rather than waiting until that moment when you think you’ve arrived at your goal or vision.Surviving is running away from. Thriving is about running TOWARDS something. However, our brains are trained for “safety” and survival and running away. The intentional words move us towards what we want. And focusing on these helps to build new neuropathways. So, ask yourself if something is unsafe OR uncomfortable. There is growth in the uncomfortable. To find more of Christina: Website |...

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  4. ٢٣ جمادى الأولى

    Uncovering the Mane Issues and Getting to the Root of Hair Loss

    Alright, ladies—let’s get real about our hair! Because if menopause has taught us anything, it’s that your hair can suddenly decide it’s not gonna play nice. I get it—I've been there, struggling to manage my own hair after a thyroid condition left it dry, brittle, and breaking off at the shoulders. My solution? Gorgeous extensions from my girl Tessa at Coco's Style Lounge in Lee’s Summit, Missouri! They give me life and make me feel like I’m rocking my 30s again. But sometimes I wonder, is there a better way to get that fabulous, full look without the extensions? Enter today’s powerhouse guest: Angela Fields! Angela is an award-winning entrepreneur and Curl Restoration Coach whose story starts with a chemical burn disaster and ends with her creating a fragrance-free haircare empire that’s caught the attention of O Magazine and Black Enterprise. Angela’s on a mission to help us all navigate those tricky hair changes that hit with menopause and beyond.  In this episode, Angela spills the secrets on haircare for women over 50, offering real solutions for thinning hair, changing curl patterns, and those pesky shrinking follicles. We’re talking products with humectants and moisturizers (applied on *soaking* wet hair!), understanding porosity, and knowing when it’s time to switch up our routine. She even has tips for tracking shed hair (yes, grab your phone camera) and insights on alopecia, which affects so many women but has solutions once you know what you’re dealing with. Angela’s passion, energy, and insane knowledge will have you feeling empowered to take your hair health into your own hands—no extensions required. Ready to reclaim your crown and feel fabulous in every way? Hit play, and let’s dive in! In this episode, Angela teaches us Hormonal shifts in menopause have an impact on our hair. They can change the texture and curl pattern of our hair. and even the follicle is getting smaller causing our hair to thin it may take a change in products to repair the damageUsing products with humectines and moisturizerrizers is imprative and they must be applied to soaking wet hair when the hair cuticle is lifted. apply a moisturizing treatment 1-2x a month, minimallyPerosity is a measure of how well your hsir absorbs and retains moisture. To determine your hairs porosity you can see how quickly your hair air dries. the longer it takes the lower the porosityAccumulate and monitor your shed hair using a trap in your shower and take a pic of it with your cell phone to maintain a dated record. . if you're noticing a singnificant amount of shed, you may need to add a supplement like nutrafol.There are a variety of different forms of alopecia that occur for different reasons. It is important that you spend time with your dermatologist to determine what is the root cause of your hair growth issues and then there are several paths to take to repair and replenish your hair. To find more of Angela: https://curlycoilytresses.com/ https://www.facebook.com/CurlyCoilyTresses https://www.instagram.com/curlycoilytresses_ angela@curlycoilytresses.com And if you are like us and struggling with all the ups and downs midlife has to dish out, join us on our journey to figure it all out. Follow this podcast and leave us a review. You can join our tribe of badass women on Facebook or a href="https://www.instagram.com/dearmidlife/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

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  5. ١٦ جمادى الأولى

    Kicking the Habit and Breaking Free From Wine O'Clock

    Ladies...Being a mama is HELLA hard. I read this poem by Cameron Poynter recently called "I am the Keeper" and in this poem she says: "I Am The Keeper....I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments. I am the keeper of solutions. Of bandaids and sewing kits and snacks in my purse. But also of emotional balms and metaphorical security blankets. I am the keeper of emotional security. Everyone's.  I am the keeper of worry. Theirs and my own. I am the keeper of the good and the bad, the big and the small, the beautiful and the hard. Most of the time, the weight of these things are buoying me with a sense of purpose. It’s what I signed up for. It’s the one thing I am really good at. But sometimes the weight of these things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath." These are small segments of the poem that spoke to me the most...but, the reality is that we carry a HUGE weight on our shoulders as women and mothers and so, at the end of the night...It feels right to just settle in with a glass of wine to just...breathe, and be. Am I right ladies? I mean, raise your hand if this is YOUR ritual too. Now, raise your hand if you think the drinking has gone further than you wanted it to in the recent past? Maybe the alcohol has caused you to snap at your kids? Or, perhaps, your partner. Maybe, you've sent a snarky text to a friend? Do you always feel terrible in the morning, because if you're like me just 2 glasses of wine at night can create a massive headache in the morning. Now...ask yourself if this is the way you want to feel? Would you give up the alcohol to live a richer, more full life? That is exactly what our guest today, Stephanie Brislin did. She found herself questioning whether her drinking had gone too far and if she was showing up in life the way she wanted to...She wanted to THRIVE not just SURVIVE and it was then she became determined to ditch the wine glass and break free from the “Mom’s Nightly Ritual”. In this episode, we're diving into the cycle of stress, wine, repeat—and how it holds us back. Stephanie Brislin, joins us to share her journey and how she found freedom beyond the bottle. We’re talking real solutions, redefining rituals, and reclaiming your energy—no deprivation, no shame, just the confidence to live a life that truly fills you up. Join us as we tackle over-drinking at its root and discover how a life in the middle can be monumental, not just managed. 🥂 This Naked Mind is a book and a movement started by Annie Grace as she found herself getting more curious about WHY she thought she needed alcohol and asking herself how much better life could be without it. It was the book and the movement that inspired Stephanie to become a Certified Naked Mind Coach, and she is guiding women just like us through the process of changing unwanted habits and behaviors at the subconscious level. She focuses primarily on helping people get back control over their use of alcohol, without feelings of deprivation, shame or judgment. It is in that space that she's able to help women to create lasting change by finding awareness in the thoughts and beliefs that control our subconscious behaviors and actions. In this episode, Stephanie teaches us: The Naked Mind is a book that was written by __ and now it is a movement to get closer to understanding our attraction to alcohol, why we are choosing to drink it and, then, to tackle over drinking at the root cause. When we falter and "fall off the proverbial wagon", this is not seen as failure. It is seen as an opportunity to collect more data about the why fall into these subconscious patterns.When we drink, it takes our prefrontal cortex offline and our...

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  6. ٩ جمادى الأولى

    Unlocking Sustainable Motivation and Getting Sh*t Done!

    Today, we’re diving into motivation...and I'm not just talking about the quick-fix, caffeine-and-panic kind, but the deep, sustainable motivation that actually sticks. And who better to guide us than Dr. Rebecca Block, the former professor, parent of two lively sons, and all-around motivation expert? Rebecca’s here to break down the four essentials of motivation—her ABCDs—which are all about feeling "A" Able, finding "B" Belonging, being given "C" Choices, and, yes, even getting a "D" Dopamine boost. This framework is profound because we can start to recognize that when one of these is off, our motivation tanks. The real kicker is that Midlife hits us with new challenges everyday like menopause, sleep disruptions, and juggling way too many “shoulds"! So, ladies, getting our ABCDs in order can be a lifesaver. In today’s chat, Rebecca gives us tools to recalibrate our motivation when life feels off-track. She’s got tips for avoiding those sneaky dopamine-sucking apps, reframing the “have-to’s” (like dinner duty) into “choose-to’s,” and recognizing what’s sapping our energy. Plus, she’ll let us in on what motivated her to tackle this topic after years of seeing teens *and* adults wrestle with it alike. So whether you’re trying to motivate yourself, your kids, or your team at work, this episode is for you. Get ready to drop the guilt, harness your energy, and get a fresh take on motivation—let’s dive into the ABCDs with Dr. Rebecca Block! In this episode, Rebecca teaches us: There are 4 things that must be present to attain sustainable motivation. Becca calls these the "ABCDs" of motivation: a. Ability: you feel as if you have the skills and capabilities to be successful, b. Belonging: sense of belonging and support, c. choices: I was able to choose this path, d. dopamine: live a healthy lifestyle to maintain a base-level of dopamineWhen you know these 4 requirements, when you lack motivation, then you can reflect and evaluate which of these things is missing and make small course corrections. OR you can create an environment in which these things are present so you can increase the likelihood that your children, partner, or employees will be motivated. One of the first steps we can take to regulate is to get more sleep. Most women in menopause are severely sleep deprived especially because hormone shifts are disrupting our sleep and circadian rhythm. In this space we just feel exhausted and. motivation is hard to achieve in this state.Evaluate how much time you're spending in the apps on your phone. Most of these apps are programed to stimulate very fast dopamine release cycles, which depletes your energy.Reframe the things you feel like you "have" to do by examining why you choose to do it. If you know you HAVE make dinner for your family, flip the narrative and ask "why" you choose to make dinner...I choose to make dinner because I want my children to be expose to healthy foods, I want to eat healthy foods, and I prefer to reserve our money for other choices and, therefore, chose to eat at home. This helps provide a greater sense of control over your choices.Sustained motivation comes in a space with a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. When some of the ABCDs are present AND you're focused on an external goal you know that what you're doing is moving you closer towards that goal, this creates a perfect environment for long-term motivation. To find more of Rebecca: Website | canyouhelpmegivea.com LinkedIn | Rebecca-block We were amazed by this episode! So many revelations...because, we know women in...

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  7. ٢ جمادى الأولى

    Ditching the "Shoulds" and Living Life by Design

    What IF you could wave a magic wand and gain clarity on who you are and what you know you do best so that you could harness these qualities and characteristics to live a life with purpose and intention. We know you're thinking "that would be some magic wand!" But, we our guest today, Mikkel Leslie does just that for her clients. But, there is no magic wand just the magic of a little tool called "Human Design" Human Design is a holistic system that uses a person's birth date, time, and place to reveal their unique energetic makeup and life purpose. Human design is based on the idea that people can detach from societal expectations and re-establish their individuality. Human Design won't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but it guides you towards the things you are most suited to and helps you do "life" in a way that capitalizes on your strengths and feels good! What?!?...letting go of societal expectations?? Think you could do that? Let's face it! As women, many of us have lived life being the "good girl" and fulfilling ALL of the societal expectations and then some. We "should" yourselves all day long! I should make a gourmet meal tonight, should be Supermom, should get up at the crack of dawn to squeeze in just a little more work....should do all the things. We need to step back and evaluate what is most important to us. Cut out the noise and focus on what we each, individually, do best and let life do the rest! Mikkel is a champion, author, coach and business manager for those ready to live their own lives. She has coached hundreds of individuals awakening them to their potential. Before coaching, Mikkel went through her own journey of self exploration, moving from what she was supposed to do, to what she is passionate about.  We're getting to that point where we are SOO burned out! We're ready to throw the "shoulds" out the window and just take a breath. Let go...and lean into the things we love. Mikkel is here to help us to screw the societal BS that has held so many of us back and guide us to step into our own true selves. Her genius comes in two parts. The first providing inspiration, clarity, and motivation for people ready for their next level to get after it. The second is providing tools, tips, and techniques to help people break through the doubts, fears, and apprehensions about living their truest, best life.  This episode is packed with human design a touch of sass, and a sprinkle of F-bombs, it’s all about breaking free from guilt, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.  Today, Mikkel teaches us: To let go of the "should" and false expectations, we first have to start by recognizing that they exist. If your day isn't lighting you upTake stock in all of the things that you do in a day. Evaluate your list and acknowledge that you are choosing to do these things. The more you recognize the decisions you ARE making every day, the more you realize you can control the daily decisions of your life.Start small when letting go of the things that don't light you up and/or try to let it go and see what happens. Does the world fall apart if you say "no" to organizing your child's class holiday party?Human Design is a holistic system that uses a person's birth date, time, and place to create a bodygraph that reveals their unique energetic makeup and life purpose. Human Design is based on the idea that people can detach from societal expectations and re-establish their individuality. It combines ancient and modern disciplines and when you understand YOUR human design, it can help you live life with purpose and intention.Human design isn't going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, it is there to provide guidance as to...

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  8. ٢٦ ربيع الآخر

    From Pain to Power: Unlocking Your Joy

    In our pre-chat with every guest we have on our show we share a disclaimer with them...Trinity says she's a cusser, and Shelby claims she's a crier. (Though, Shelby often cusses as much as Trinity and Trinity is trying to stop!) The irony of these acknowledgements is that Shelby realized in this conversation with our guest, Tamar Gersh, that she may actually have a hard time CONSCIOUSLY feeling her emotions. The reality is that she can't control the tears sometimes. That is her normal reaction to so many thing...things that are sad, things that make her happy, things that make her upset. However, she's been shamed about these tears her whole life. People tease her that she's "too emotional". So, she's learned to quickly turn off the tears and push her emotions away. Whether she's watching a movie with her kids, in a heartfelt conversation with a friend, or in the middle of an interview with a podcast guest, the shame she experiences when expressing her emotions has taught her to suck it up and move on. Now, she doesn't often give herself permission to feel sad because she doesn't want to dwell in these, perceivably, negative emotions. But, what our guest pointed out today is that, when Shelby denies her feelings and moves through the emotions too quickly, she may be depriving herself of experiencing the truest joy!! Trinity, on the other hand, NEVER lets herself feel ANY negative emotions. Perhaps, it is because she PRIDES herself in being the strong one. She's always HAD to be the strong one ever since she was a little girl and to fix all the problems around her. She doesn't have time for negative emotions or sadness. She's got shit to do and problems to solve and she can't do that if she's overwhelmed with emotions. The bottom line is that we've both been programmed to deny our emotions and to quickly bury them and get on with life. However, when that happens, Tamar says instead, we need to slow down and get curious...ask ourselves why we're rushing past a feeling or emotion. What are we afraid of feeling? She reminds us that there is value if we become more aware of our emotions, dig deeper, allow our emotions to move through us and surrender to that. And, ladies, surrendering doesn't mean sitting in the emotion forever...which I think is maybe what we're both afraid of. I think we believe that staying in the headspace of negativity or sadness for too long will hold us back from accomplishing what we want to.  However, by rushing past the negative emotions and never actually allowing ourselves to feel them or know the depths of sadness or despair or frustration, we are preventing ourselves from, consequently, feeling ultimate joy. Because, just like that old song, "joy and pain, like sunshine and rain." You can NOT have one without experiencing the other.  Tamar touts herself as the queen of joyful living and says she's an unconventional Life and Business coach and a master of self-discipline. She leverages a variety of tools to lead her clients, who are typically the creatives and healers of the world, to plug back into their own genius so that they can stop showing up to their business like a weirdo and start showing up as their 150% authentic selves.  In this episode, Tamar Teaches us: In order to live a joyful life we have to be willing to experience ALL emotions, especially pain. We can never know or appreciate the greatest joy without experiencing pain.When you bring awareness to the thing you are trying to "conquer", whether it is breaking a habit that no longer serves you or navigating your emotions, one approach is to bring awareness into the space and to welcome it in (vs. trying to avoid), name it, feel it, notice the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and slow things down and experience it all. When doing so, you are then better able to manage through it.Stop...

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Listen up, gorgeous! Are you over 40? Are you feeling stuck? The proverbial midlife crisis is for real and we're here to tell you that you don't have to go it alone! The Dear Midlife mission is all about unleashing mind-blowing transformation for fabulous women in the middle. We are here to serve up sizzling inspiration and turbocharged tips and tools to arm you with the power and courage to remember who you are, figure out who in the hell you want to become and chase your passions like a total boss...even if it means kicking those old versions of yourself to the curb. So buckle up, We're all about pushing boundaries, getting cozy with discomfort, and living life without apology. Get ready to conquer with confidence and style!

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