Reframing Life and Love by Tom and Vicki: a podcast offering hope after childhood sexual abuse

Tom and Vicki Dau
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Welcome to "Reframing Life and Love," a transformative podcast where husband and wife duo Tom and Vicki explore the journey of healing and connection after childhood sexual trauma. Designed specifically for committed couples, our show provides a safe space to discuss the unique challenges that arise and the skills needed to foster a fulfilling relationship. In each episode, you’ll hear from both Tom and Vicki, offering valuable insights from their distinct perspectives. Together, they share practical blueprints and tools to help couples not just survive, but thrive in their relationship. With topics ranging from repressed memories to building trust to enhancing intimacy, this podcast aims to empower you to lay the foundation for a lasting, loving partnership. Join us as we cover: - The impact of childhood sexual abuse on adult relationships - Effective strategies for overcoming past trauma - Personal stories of resilience and hope - Essential skills to create and maintain a meaningful connection Subscribe now to "Reframing Life and Love" and ensure you never miss an episode filled with hope, healing, and practical advice. Plus, visit our website for an exclusive offer: “3 Things Every Committed Couple Must Know to Create a Relationship They Love.” Together, let’s reframe your life and love! **Trigger Warning:** This podcast discusses sensitive topics related to childhood sexual abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is advised. Disclaimer: The reflections in this podcast are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional, medical or psychological assistance and are not meant to be a substitute for in-person counseling or treatment for suicidal ideation, or severe psychiatric problems. No assumption of responsibility is made, or given, and the party participating agrees not to hold Tom or Vicki Dau or TeamDau Wellness responsible or liable in any form or fashion, for such actions taken of their own accord. **Keywords:** childhood sexual abuse, past trauma, husbands and wives, overcoming past trauma, sexually abused as a child, recover from being abused as a child.

  1. How to Love a Trauma Survivor

    8월 13일

    How to Love a Trauma Survivor

    Links talked about in this episode:  https://Teamdau.com Summary: In this conversation, Vicki and Tom discuss how to love a trauma survivor from three distinct perspectives: those committed to healing, those who feel victimized, and those who deny the impact of their trauma. They emphasize the importance of respect, communication, and understanding in relationships with trauma survivors, highlighting the need for partners to be aware of triggers and to foster an environment of safety and support. The discussion also touches on the challenges of loving someone who is stuck in a victim mentality and the necessity for both partners to engage in healing for a healthy relationship. Takeaways:Understanding the different perspectives of trauma survivors is crucial. Respecting where a trauma survivor is in their healing journey is essential. Love encompasses more than just actions; it includes respect and understanding. Communication is key; partners should express their feelings and concerns gently. Listening without trying to fix is a vital part of supporting a trauma survivor. Accepting each other as they are is fundamental in a relationship. A partner cannot change someone who is not willing to change. Denial of trauma can hinder healing and relationship growth. It's important to address triggers and create a safe environment. Sacrificing one's happiness for a partner's trauma is not sustainable. Chapters: 00:00 Understanding Trauma Survivors 02:22 Loving a Committed Survivor 14:26 Supporting a Victim Mentality 19:35 Addressing Denial in Trauma Survivors 33:14 Actionable Insights for Enhancing Relationships  Keywords: trauma, love, healing, relationships, survivor, victim mentality, communication, support, emotional health, coping strategies

    34분
  2. Lessons in Fatherhood: Tom Dau's Story of Adoption, Tattoos, and Personal Growth

    7월 23일

    Lessons in Fatherhood: Tom Dau's Story of Adoption, Tattoos, and Personal Growth

    Summary: In this heartfelt talk Tom Dau gave at the 4:30pm Mass for Father's Day, he shares his journey of fatherhood, personal growth, and the importance of relationships. He reflects on his experiences with his adopted family, the significance of tattoos as symbols of love and connection, and the lessons learned from his own father. Tom emphasizes the importance of being a good dad, the impact of personal growth on family dynamics, and the need for fathers to be role models for their children.  You can tell from his talk that he has a huge heart and it is that same heart that caused him to write a Digital Guide that supports husbands supporting their wives healing from past trauma.  Daily practices and perspectives that allow men to understand and take action to support the women they love.  Get your copy HERE.  Takeaways: Family is a source of strength and support. Tattoos can symbolize important life lessons and relationships. Fatherhood is a journey filled with challenges and rewards. Personal growth is essential for being a better parent. Children learn from their parents' actions and relationships. It's important to show love and respect in family dynamics. Dads should be present and available for their children. Supporting a partner through difficult times strengthens relationships. Working on oneself positively impacts family life. Every father has the opportunity to change their corner of the world. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Family Background 02:27 The Significance of Tattoos and Personal Symbols 04:57 Reflections on Fatherhood and Parenting 07:44Personal Growth and Supporting Loved Ones Keywords Father's Day, family, parenting, personal growth, relationships, tattoos, love, support, fatherhood, community

    12분
  3. What to say to a trauma survivor

    7월 16일

    What to say to a trauma survivor

    Links talked about in the episode: https://team-dau.mykajabi.com/loves-resilience-free-ebook Summary: In this conversation, Vicki Dau discusses the sensitive topic of how to communicate with trauma survivors, particularly those who have experienced sexual abuse. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging their pain, listening empathetically, and avoiding common pitfalls in conversation. The discussion also touches on the significance of resilience and personal growth in the aftermath of trauma, as well as the importance of providing support without trying to fix the survivor's experience. Takeaways: Acknowledge the survivor's experience with empathy. It's important to ask if they want to talk more. Listening is crucial; don't try to fix their pain. Avoid saying things like 'that was a long time ago.' Saying 'I don't know what to say' can be appropriate. Avoid pious statements about God and suffering. Survivors often want to be heard, not soothed. Resilience is key to personal growth after trauma. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Trauma Survivors 02:39 Effective Communication with Survivors 05:19 What Not to Say to Trauma Survivors 08:06 Empathy and Listening Skills 10:46 Resilience and Personal Growth Keywords: trauma survivor, communication, empathy, support, listening, emotional support, trauma awareness, mental health, healing, resilience

    13분
  4. Mother's Day Reflections: Empowerment, Boundaries, and Societal Pressures

    5월 28일

    Mother's Day Reflections: Empowerment, Boundaries, and Societal Pressures

    Summary: This conversation explores the complexities of honoring relationships, particularly on Mother's Day, while maintaining personal boundaries and emotional safety. It discusses the feelings of discomfort that can arise in family dynamics and the importance of finding meaningful ways to connect without compromising one's well-being. and navigating societal pressures and expectations.     Takeaways It's possible to honor family while maintaining boundaries. Prepare for backlash the first time you make a change. Creative solutions can help navigate family expectations. Mailing a thoughtful gift can be a meaningful gesture. Understanding personal limits is crucial for emotional health. Mother's Day can be a time for reflection and self-care. Communication is key in navigating problem solving with your partner. Setting boundaries can lead to healthier interactions. Finding joy in small gestures can strengthen bonds. It's important to prioritize one's own emotional safety.   Chapters 00:00 Mother's Day: A Complex Perspective 13:16 Navigating Motherhood and Healing 20:23 Empowerment and Choices for Mother's Day22:05 Actionable Insights for Enhancing Relationships   Keywords: Mother's Day, boundaries, honoring relationships, emotional safety, family dynamics

    23분
  5. Empowerment in Faith: Tom and Vicki's Exploration of Religion and Spirituality

    4월 28일

    Empowerment in Faith: Tom and Vicki's Exploration of Religion and Spirituality

    Summary: In this conversation, Tom and Vicki explore the intricate relationship between faith, spirituality, and religion, sharing personal experiences that have shaped their beliefs. They discuss the impact of community, the challenges of navigating authority within religious institutions, and the importance of personal empowerment in faith. The couple emphasizes the role of prayer and gratitude in their daily lives, ultimately highlighting the significance of hope and spiritual growth in overcoming life's challenges. Takeaways: Faith is a personal belief in a higher power. Religion serves as the method of practicing faith. Experiences in childhood significantly shape beliefs. Personal conversion experiences can lead to empowerment. Navigating religious communities can be complex and challenging. Authority figures in religion can impact personal beliefs. It's okay to question and take control of one's faith journey. Prayer and gratitude are essential practices in daily life. Finding hope in difficult situations is crucial for spiritual growth. Embracing a higher power can provide comfort and assurance. Chapters 00:00 Exploring Faith, Spirituality, and Religion 02:25 Personal Experiences Shaping Beliefs 04:59 Navigating Religious Communities and Traditions 09:46 Challenges with Authority and Doctrine 14:53 Finding Personal Power in Faith 19:26 The Role of Prayer and Gratitude 24:32 Embracing Hope and Spiritual Growth Keywords: faith, spirituality, religion, personal experiences, beliefs, community, authority, prayer, gratitude, hope

    25분
  6. From Trauma to Triumph: The Inspiring Journey of Film Maker and Author Mary Knight

    4월 8일

    From Trauma to Triumph: The Inspiring Journey of Film Maker and Author Mary Knight

    Links talked about in this episode:  Mary's YouTube ChannelMary's WebsiteMary's book on Amazon Summary: In this conversation, Mary Knight discusses the profound impact of her book and personal experiences on her life and the lives of others. She emphasizes the importance of sharing survivor stories, the healing power of commonality, and the significance of memory recovery. Mary also shares insights into her film projects, the Recovered Memory Project, and various healing modalities she has explored. The discussion highlights the journey of recovery, the importance of support systems, and the possibility of achieving happiness after trauma. Takeaways: Mary's book has changed her life by allowing her to share her story. Survivors often seek commonality to validate their experiences. Talking to survivors who have read her book focuses on healing. Trigger warnings in her book help readers prepare for sensitive content. The Recovered Memory Project aims to document true recovery stories. Mary emphasizes the importance of psychotherapy in healing. Walking and yoga are key components of her healing routine. She feels fortunate to have a happy life now after trauma. Mary's films aim to empower and educate about abuse and recovery. It's crucial for survivors to communicate with their partners about their experiences. Chapters 00:00 The Impact of Sharing Personal Stories 02:14 Commonality and Healing in Survivor Stories 05:44 Empowerment Through Memory Recovery 08:17 The Recovered Memory Project 13:14 Healing Modalities and Personal Growth 16:29 Reflections on Regrets and Pride 17:48 Film Projects and Their Messages 24:03 Promoting Awareness and Support 26:12 Advice for Survivors on Recovery 34:29 The Possibility of Recovery and Happiness #survivor stories, #healing, #empowerment, #memory recovery, #personal growth, #child abuse, #mental health, #psychotherapy, #support, #resilience

    34분
  7. You meant WHAT? From Conflict to Connection: Enhancing Communication for Deeper Intimacy

    3월 26일

    You meant WHAT? From Conflict to Connection: Enhancing Communication for Deeper Intimacy

    Links discussed in this episode: https://teamdau.my.canva.site/communication-and-connection-workshop Summary: In this episode, Vicki and Tom discuss the critical role of communication in marriage, sharing a personal story that highlights how misunderstandings can arise from internal narratives. They emphasize the importance of being aware of one's own feelings and perceptions, and how these can affect interactions with a partner. The conversation also introduces their upcoming workshops aimed at enhancing communication skills among couples, providing tools for conflict resolution and deeper intimacy. Takeaways: Communication is vital in any marriage, regardless of duration. Awareness of personal feelings can improve relationship dynamics. Misunderstandings often stem from internal narratives. It's essential to clarify intentions in communication. Taking responsibility for one's actions can prevent blame. Our Workshop can provide valuable tools for couples. Investing time in relationship education is crucial. Conflict resolution skills can enhance intimacy. Technology can complicate communication but also offers solutions. Open dialogue can prevent prolonged misunderstandings. Chapters: 00:00 The Importance of Communication in Marriage 08:06 Misunderstandings and Internal Narratives 11:34 Workshops for Better Communication Keywords: communication, marriage, relationships, misunderstandings, workshops, conflict resolution, intimacy, connection, emotional awareness, couple dynamics

    17분
  8. Navigating Trauma: Addressing Scars and Embracing Recovery

    2월 26일

    Navigating Trauma: Addressing Scars and Embracing Recovery

    Links talked about in episode: RAINN.ORGDamage and Possibilities GuideWork with Tom and/or VickiSurvival Guide for HusbandsGuide for Wives Summary This conversation focuses on how to support survivors of trauma, particularly in the immediate aftermath of an incident. It emphasizes the uniqueness of each survivor's experience, the importance of addressing trauma, and the various coping strategies that can aid in recovery. The discussion also covers the impact of repressed memories and the necessity of seeking professional help, while encouraging survivors to prioritize their well-being and emotional health. Takeaways: Every circumstance is unique and different. There is no timetable for recovery. Abuse is abuse and it's equal. It's better to do more than less if you can. Stay grounded in the truth. Buried things cause physical ailments. The fear of addressing it is greater than actually addressing it. Be intentional about your sleep patterns. The stories that we create are where the problems lie. You need to be good in you so that you can be good going out.  Chapters 00:00 Understanding Support for Survivors 09:49 Navigating Immediate Aftermath of Trauma 19:55 Processing Unaddressed Trauma 29:48 Repressed Memories and Their Impact 36:01 Tools for Healing and Moving Forward Keywords: supporting survivors, trauma recovery, mental health, healing, emotional support, PTSD, coping strategies, trauma-informed care, survivor stories, repressed memories

    34분
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소개

Welcome to "Reframing Life and Love," a transformative podcast where husband and wife duo Tom and Vicki explore the journey of healing and connection after childhood sexual trauma. Designed specifically for committed couples, our show provides a safe space to discuss the unique challenges that arise and the skills needed to foster a fulfilling relationship. In each episode, you’ll hear from both Tom and Vicki, offering valuable insights from their distinct perspectives. Together, they share practical blueprints and tools to help couples not just survive, but thrive in their relationship. With topics ranging from repressed memories to building trust to enhancing intimacy, this podcast aims to empower you to lay the foundation for a lasting, loving partnership. Join us as we cover: - The impact of childhood sexual abuse on adult relationships - Effective strategies for overcoming past trauma - Personal stories of resilience and hope - Essential skills to create and maintain a meaningful connection Subscribe now to "Reframing Life and Love" and ensure you never miss an episode filled with hope, healing, and practical advice. Plus, visit our website for an exclusive offer: “3 Things Every Committed Couple Must Know to Create a Relationship They Love.” Together, let’s reframe your life and love! **Trigger Warning:** This podcast discusses sensitive topics related to childhood sexual abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is advised. Disclaimer: The reflections in this podcast are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional, medical or psychological assistance and are not meant to be a substitute for in-person counseling or treatment for suicidal ideation, or severe psychiatric problems. No assumption of responsibility is made, or given, and the party participating agrees not to hold Tom or Vicki Dau or TeamDau Wellness responsible or liable in any form or fashion, for such actions taken of their own accord. **Keywords:** childhood sexual abuse, past trauma, husbands and wives, overcoming past trauma, sexually abused as a child, recover from being abused as a child.

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