Season 2, Ep.4. Dating After Loss: How to Find your Chapter 2 with Nicky Wake

Navigating Dating After Loss 

Episode Overview: As we are approaching Valentine's Day and are just about to watch Bridget Jone's new film on dating as a widow and a single mum, my mind was preoccupied with preparing an episode addressing the complexities of modern dating after losing a life partner. In this episode, we are exploring the conflicting emotions that arise when grief and the prospect of new relationships collide. Joining me is Nicky Wake, founder of Chapter Two, a dating platform designed specifically for widows and widowers.

Nicky shares her personal journey of loss and how it inspired her to create this unique space for others navigating similar experiences. We discuss the challenges of re-entering the dating world, societal expectations surrounding widowhood, the importance of finding a supportive community, and practical tips for dating safely and thoughtfully.

Key Insights: 

• There's no right time to start dating again. Each individual's grief journey is unique, and there's no set timeline for when it's appropriate to consider dating. Listen to your own intuition and don't let societal pressures dictate your decisions.
• Dating after loss is a complex experience. It's normal to feel a mix of excitement, guilt, and apprehension. Be prepared for emotional ups and downs, and allow yourself grace and patience as you navigate this new terrain.
• Transparency and communication are key. Be open and honest with yourself about your needs and expectations. Communicate clearly with potential partners about your grief journey and what you're looking for in a relationship.
• Finding a supportive community is essential. Connect with other widows and widowers who understand your experience. Sharing your struggles and triumphs with others can provide invaluable support and validation.
• Safety is paramount. Take precautions when dating online, such as meeting in public places, keeping communication on the platform, and avoiding sharing personal or financial information too soon.

Notable Quotes: 

• "Dating after loss can give you hope that your story isn't over. There is another chapter quite literally and figuratively, your second chapter." - Nicky Wake [00:11:19]
• "As widows, we don't move on. We move forward." - Nicky Wake [00:23:48]
• "It takes a really big person, man or woman, to deal with that vulnerability and to respect it." - Nicky Wake [00:22:45]

Timestamps: 

• [00:02:59]: Nicky shares her personal story of loss and the creation of Chapter Two.
• [00:19:37]: Discussion on when is the "right time" to start dating again.
• [00:23:11]: Breaking the taboo of dating after loss.
• [00:33:47]: Discussion of the Chapter Two member survey and its findings.
• [00:43:03]: Practical safety tips for dating.

Resources & Links: 

• Chapter Two Dating App: https://www.chapter2dating.app/
• Widows Fire: https://widowsfire.dating/
• Survey results: https://www.chapter2dating.app/love-after-loss-rediscovering-joy-and-connection/

Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief: https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/podcast-signup

- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.

- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT

- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer

- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.

- Find out more about grief support  

Your Host’s BIO:

Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA

Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.

Connect with me on social media:

Facebook 

Instagram  

Linked In  

Connect with Nicky Wake:

Facebook

 https://www.facebook.com/Chapter2Dating/

 https://www.facebook.com/widowsfireuk

Instagram

 https://www.instagram.com/chapter2_dating?igsh=MzVuYTA5ZDVndWlv&utm_source=qr

 https://www.instagram.com/widowsfireuk?igsh=NDkycG9mYnVzNmlm&utm_source=qr