Seeing Death Clearly Jill McClennen

My guest today is Sue Burns, author of the book A Common Life, A Voice from the Progressive Era where she published her great-great grandmother Mary's diary from the late 19th century Iowa farm life.

We talk about the demographics of Iowa in the late 19th century., Her great great grandmother, Mary, managed to raise six children without losing any, although there might have been unrecorded miscarriages or infant deaths. Sue highlights that Mary's diary, like many others from the time, did not extensively cover topics like pregnancy or childbirth, reflecting a cultural silence around such matters.

Sue discusses Mary's diary entries regarding deaths in the community, which were frequent and treated as a natural part of life. Mary herself experienced grief after her husband's death, which followed a period of illness and medical procedures documented in the diary.

Describing Mary's farm, Sue mentions its size (about 240 acres), the crops grown, and the various buildings on the property, including a windmill, barn, and corn crib. She details Mary's involvement in farm management, including decisions about planting, harvesting, and eventually renting out the land for income.

Sue reflects on Mary's accounts of butchering chickens and a pig, speculating about her involvement in these tasks and the practicalities of farm life. She also discusses the layout of Mary's house, including a main living room with a coal-burning stove and a separate "summer kitchen" building.

She recounts the process of preserving Mary's diary, which was written on fragile paper found in an attic. Sue and her mother collaborated to transcribe and digitize the diary, eventually donating a copy to the Iowa Women's Archive.

Sue emphasizes the importance of preserving family histories like Mary's diary, which offers unique insights into past lives and experiences. She notes the limitations of relying solely on written records and highlights the value of oral history and personal connections in understanding the past.


https://marybriggsacommonlife.blogspot.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Common-Life-Voice-Progressive-Era


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Amy Flanagan has had a diverse career journey that led her to a unique role in medical education. Initially pursuing acting from a young age her passion shifted, leading her to the Uniformed Services University, the U.S. military's medical school. There, she played patients with different illnesses, aiding medical students in honing their diagnostic and communication skills.


Her enthusiasm for teaching through experience propelled her to become the director of the facility, a role she cherished until 2015 when she retired due to a diagnosis of narcolepsy. She continues to contribute as a part-time consultant, specializing in helping doctors improve their communication skills, especially in delivering challenging news to patients.


Amy highlights the need for enhanced communication training in medical education, noting that while it's present, it often gets overshadowed by other curriculum demands. She emphasizes the importance of doctors learning to convey compassion and empathy effectively, particularly in delivering distressing diagnoses or news.

Amy talks about the human aspect of healthcare professionals and the significance of providing support and guidance to navigate difficult conversations with patients. She shares anecdotes illustrating the impact of effective communication and the challenges inherent in delivering bad news. In her current role, Amy offers individualized training and support to improve communication skills. 


Drawing from personal experiences, including the loss of her sister to a rare illness, Amy emphasizes the unpredictability of life's challenges and the importance of accepting and preparing for difficult circumstances. She emphasizes the need for empathy and understanding in healthcare, acknowledging the emotional toll on both patients and providers.

Amy's commitment to improving communication in medicine reflects a broader societal need for compassionate and empathetic care.


https://www.buzzsprout.com/2104812/14515794 My episode on her podcast The Savvy Communicator. 
@savvycommunicator on all social media 


Support the Show.
Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast.

I appreciate the support and it helps get the word out to more people that could benefit from hearing the podcast.

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life.

You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms.

Website www.endoflifeclarity.com
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Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle
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My guest in this episode is Chaplain Hank Dunn. Hank is an ordained healthcare chaplain, bestselling author, and speaker who, for more than 30 years, has been helping patients and their families as they struggle with end-of-life decisions. In this episode emphasizes the importance of understanding these treatments as they may not always align with what's best at the end of life. 

His experience as a nursing home chaplain led to his involvement in ethical committees, especially after Virginia passed a Natural Death Act, granting patients the right to refuse treatment and have advanced directives.


He began educating families about treatment options, which led to the creation of a booklet. Despite initial reluctance from the ethics committee, research on CPR outcomes prompted the production of "Hard Choices for Loving People," addressing the complexities of end-of-life decisions.


He emphasizes that end-of-life decisions are not solely medical but also emotional and spiritual, requiring individuals to let go and accept the inevitability of death. He stresses the importance of palliative care, which focuses on comfort and symptom alleviation at any stage of illness.


Feeding tubes, hospitalization, and transitioning to hospice are major decisions discussed in his book. He addresses misconceptions about hospice, illustrating its role in prioritizing comfort over futile treatments. Orders such as "do not hospitalize" offer patients and families more control and thoughtful consideration in their care decisions.


www.hankdunn.com
https://www.amazon.com/Hard-Choices-Loving-People-Palliative
https://www.amazon.com/Light-Shadows-Meditations-Life-Threatening-Illness



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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast.

I appreciate the support and it helps get the word out to more people that could benefit from hearing the podcast.

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life.

You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms.

Website www.endoflifeclarity.com
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Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle
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Following the decision, I prioritized my aunt's comfort as we prepared to remove her oxygen support. The nurse and I made her as comfortable as possible, opting for comfort care with a touch of morphine to ease her pain.


Reflecting on the day, I found solace in the serenity of the room. With all distractions muted, I held her hand, conveying love and reassurance, even reading aloud from "A Wrinkle in Time.”Despite initial hesitation, the book's themes of fear and acceptance resonated, offering a parallel to our shared journey. Reading aloud connected us, grounding me in the moment.


As her breath stilled, I comforted her, echoing the words of my grandmother. Watching her peaceful transition, I reflected on life's transient nature, finding solace in the beauty of her final moments. Reflecting on her life, I found comfort in knowing I was there for her. Despite the sadness, I was so happy to be with her for her final moments.


Looking back, I realize now that I should have asked earlier for palliative care involvement, recognizing the value of open communication and advocacy in ensuring a peaceful transition.


Having navigated my aunt's journey, I emphasize the significance of candid conversations about end-of-life wishes, underscoring the importance of support and preparation.


In the days after, I confronted layered emotions, finding solace in shared memories and the opportunity to honor loved ones' legacies. Reflecting on our time together, I cherish the memories and the enduring impact of her smile, finding comfort in the shared moments that define our bond.


Grief is a complex journey, yet amid the pain, I find solace in the shared memories and the enduring connections that transcend life's final moments.


https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/14343949 Episode with Barbara Karnes that I referenced in this episode. 
Support the Show.
Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast.

I appreciate the support and it helps get the word out to more people that could benefit from hearing the podcast.

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life.

You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms.

Website www.endoflifeclarity.com
Instagram
Facebook
Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle
LinkedIn
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In the latest episode, I share a personal experience of losing my aunt after her two-week stay in the ICU. 


Despite being familiar with medical procedures from my volunteer work, seeing a loved one in that setting was different. I remember walking into the ICU and hardly recognizing her.


During her last days, the hospital ensured her comfort, although it was tough seeing her struggle. I had discussions with the palliative care team and understood the gravity of her condition. 


Reflecting on this experience, I realize how knowledge and preparation eased the process for both my aunt and me. Being informed empowered me to navigate difficult decisions, even though they weren't mine to make, I was able to advocate to have her wishes followed.


As her condition deteriorated, we allowed nature to take its course. It's a reminder of the importance of palliative care and having these conversations at any stage of illness.


Ultimately, we liberated her from the medical interventions that sustained her life. It's a term I learned from my mentor, Ali, which reframes the act of letting go as setting the person free.


This experience has taught me the significance of being present during the end of life, embracing the discomfort, and finding solace in the knowledge that we did our best for our loved ones.


Next week I will finish up the story about my experience.


The episode of Seeing Death Clearly with my mentor Alison Kepple https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/13062233 


Support the Show.
Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast.

I appreciate the support and it helps get the word out to more people that could benefit from hearing the podcast.

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life.

You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms.

Website www.endoflifeclarity.com
Instagram
Facebook
Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle
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Marie Scott, the Creator and Founder of Happy and Healthy After Widowhood boasts an impressive resume as a best-selling author of three published books, with two more in the pipeline. She's also recognized internationally as a speaker and holds certifications as a Health and Grief Coach.


Following the loss of Dave, her husband of three decades, and her mother in the same year, Marie pursued education, laying the groundwork for her life-changing program: the 7 Steps to Healing After Loss. This roadmap offers guidance to widows and widowers, aiming to help them lead fulfilling lives filled with wellness, laughter, and the possibility of love once again.

Dave's battle with esophageal cancer was a poignant chapter, defined by his choice to prioritize quality of life over aggressive treatment. Through functional medicine, Marie addressed her own health issues, underscoring the transformative power of dietary choices.

Amidst the dual loss of her husband and mother to Alzheimer's, Marie found solace in practices like journaling and meditation. These experiences birthed the seven steps to healing, advocating for nurturing relationships and discovering new avenues of purpose.

Now embracing life with Jeff, Marie finds joy in shared interests like hunting, and savoring each moment together. Her journey stands as a testament to resilience, offering hope, gratitude, and encouragement to those navigating life's challenges after loss.


Website
https://www.mariescottwellness.com/ 
My Top 10 Grief-Busting Tips
https://www.mariescottwellness.com/media
Happy & Healthy after Widowhood / Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/happyandhealthywidow/
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/mariescottwellness /
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariescottwellness/ 
Contact
https://www.mariescottwellness.com/contact 
The book is referenced in the podcast episode.  Being Mortal by Atul Gawande 
https://atulgawande.com/book/being-mortal/ 
Support the Show.
Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast.

I appreciate the support and it helps get the word out to more people that could benefit from hearing the podcast.

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life.

You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms.

Website www.endoflifeclarity.com
Instagram
Facebook
Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle
LinkedIn
TikTok