Sensual Pleasure Gets Better with Age with Laurie Handlers

Ever felt pressured by societal norms in relationships? In this episode of the "Crown Yourself" podcast, hosted by Kimberly Spencer, the discussion centers on relationships, communication, and the journey of marriage later in life. Author & speaker, Laurie Handlers shares a unique marriage proposal story, emphasizing the importance of self-love, clear communication, and understanding gender differences in relationships. The conversation explores the challenges successful women face in balancing career and personal life, the significance of setting boundaries, and the need for practical relationship skills. The episode encourages listeners to embrace new experiences, prioritize self-awareness, and foster deeper connections with their partners, regardless of age.

Enjoy, sovereigns!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or your favorite podcast listening platform. You can also watch the episode on YouTube.

Moments of Note:

Dating Your Species (00:00:00)

Advice on dating within your own relationship style, whether monogamous or polyamorous.

Podcast Introduction (00:00:25)

Kimberly Spencer welcomes listeners and outlines the podcast's purpose for personal and professional growth.

Marriage Decision at 75 (00:01:08)

Discussion about the speaker's choice to marry at 75 and the significance of the decision.

The Unique Proposal (00:01:23)

A humorous recount of the speaker's unexpected marriage proposal in a porta potty.

Taking Marriage Seriously (00:03:27)

The speaker reflects on how they initially didn't take the proposal seriously until later.

Setting New Precedents (00:04:20)

Emphasizing that new experiences can be embraced at any age, including marriage.

Challenges in Relationships (00:05:29)

Discussion on how societal expectations affect couples and their communication.

Lack of Communication Skills (00:06:34)

Critique of education systems for not teaching essential communication skills for relationships.

Fear of Seeking Help (00:07:10)

Exploration of why couples hesitate to seek help for relationship issues due to shame.

Difference in Approaches (00:07:46)

Comparison between traditional therapy and the speaker's unique approach to relationship coaching.

Focus on Self-Love (00:08:46)

Highlighting the importance of self-love as a foundation for loving others effectively.

Fearless Communication Techniques (00:10:03)

Introduction to communication strategies that enhance connection and understanding in relationships.

Understanding Gender Dynamics (00:11:15)

Discussion on the biological differences in how men and women experience intimacy and connection.

Unraveling Misconceptions (00:12:23)

Addressing common misconceptions about gender behavior in relationships.

Radical Honesty in Relationships (00:14:20)

Laurie shares their experience of building a relationship based on radical honesty and openness.

Two Categories of Couples (00:15:22)

Identifying two types of couples: those seeking help after many years and those starting fresh.

Saying the Unsayable (00:16:35)

Teaching couples how to communicate difficult feelings and thoughts openly.

Authenticity in New Relationships (00:17:35)

Encouraging authenticity from the beginning of a relationship to foster true connection.

Setting Boundaries Early (00:18:42)

The importance of establishing boundaries in relationships to build trust and understanding.

Boundaries in Relationships (00:19:44)

Discussion on the importance of boundaries in relationships, especially regarding family planning.

Dating Your Species (00:20:37)

Emphasis on finding compatible partners based on relationship styles and preferences.

Desires and Boundaries Ritual (00:21:41)

Sharing personal experiences about discussing desires and boundaries before becoming intimate.

Communication in Relationships (00:23:17)

Highlighting the significance of open communication and consent in establishing relationship dynamics.

Common Relationship Conflicts (00:24:26)

Exploring typical arguments couples face and the need for conscious relationship skills.

Truth and Sexual Expression (00:25:30)

Connecting the ability to speak one's truth with enhancing sexual intimacy and creativity.

Sex Education Gaps (00:27:28)

Critique of traditional sex education and the need for better communication about sexual health.

Generational Shifts in Relationships (00:30:46)

Observations on how relationship dynamics and expectations differ across generations.

Permission to Speak Truth (00:32:44)

Discussion on how older generations feel freer to express desires and boundaries.

Shifts in Tantra Classes (00:35:02)

Changes in participants' motivations for attending tantra classes over time, focusing on trauma healing.

Navigating Trauma in Practice (00:37:25)

The importance of understanding trauma responses during bodywork and breathwork practices.

Pleasure and Aging (00:39:06)

Exploring how permission for pleasure increases with age, leading to enhanced happiness and intimacy.

The Importance of Self-Love (00:39:26)

Laurie discusses the freedom of self-expression and the significance of self-love in relationships.

Practicing Intentional Sex (00:39:48)

The concept of intentional sex is introduced, emphasizing the need for self-pleasure and hormonal balance.

Breaking Routines for Pleasure (00:41:39)

Laurie encourages breaking routines to enhance pleasure and keep the mind open to new experiences.

The Role of Age in Sexuality (00:42:12)

Aging is portrayed positively, with increased honesty about desires and improved sexual experiences.

Understanding Pleasure Beyond Sexuality (00:43:03)

Kimberly reflects on trauma's impact on pleasure and the importance of reconnecting with joy in life.

Exploring Personal Pleasure (00:43:19)

Laurie suggests self-exploration to understand personal pleasure, likening it to an owner's manual for the body.

Permission to Explore (00:44:15)

Older individuals are encouraged to embrace pleasure and communicate desires freely with partners.

Creative Life Force vs. Hustle (00:45:29)

The distinction between creative energy and the hustle mentality is discussed, emphasizing pleasure in business.

Pleasure as a Birthright (00:46:39)

Laurie asserts that pleasure is a natural right, essential to human experience and existence.

Pain and Pleasure Connection (00:47:52)

The relationship between pain and pleasure is explored, particularly in the context of BDSM and childbirth.

Shame Around Sexuality (00:49:22)

Laurie addresses the widespread shame individuals feel regarding their bodies and sexual experiences.

Embarrassment in Sexual Development (00:50:04)

The discussion highlights the embarrassment many feel during puberty and the lack of education around it.

Cultural Influences on Shame (00:51:19)

Cultural and generational factors contribute to shame surrounding sexuality, affecting both genders.

Healing Through Touch (00:53:33)

Kimberly shares her journey of self-acceptance and healing through tactile awareness and body exploration.

Eradicating Shame (00:54:58)

Laurie discusses the constructed nature of shame and its detrimental effects on personal expression.

Tangible Steps to Experience Pleasure (00:58:19)

Breath, sound, and movement are recommended as practical methods to enhance pleasure and reduce shame.

Here are the extracted timestamps and their titles from the podcast episode transcription segment:

Working with Successful Women (00:59:57)

Discusses helping women transition from corporate masculinity to embracing their feminine energy.

Having It All (01:00:45)

Explores the possibility of joy and pleasure without sacrificing personal or professional life.

Rapid Fire Questions (01:00:59)

Introduces a quick round of questions about favorite characters and personal experiences.

Favorite Female Character (01:01:04)

Laurie shares admiration for strong female characters like Scarlett O'Hara and Alias.

Trading Places (01:01:30)

Considers who they'd want to swap lives with, choosing Marie Antoinette for a day.

Money Routine (01:01:53)

Explains a unique ritual of using rose oil on cash to connect heart and money.

Morning and Evening Routine (01:02:53)

Describes daily routines involving movement, planning, and personal development through Spanish lessons.

Dreaming in Spanish (01:04:25)

Laurie expresses a desire to dream in Spanish, highlighting their limited dream recall.

Defining Queendom (01:05:00)

Shares thoughts on personal empowerment and setting boundaries in relationships.

Promoting Books and Workshops (01:06:06)

Laurie discusses her books and invites listeners to join her workshops and inner circle.

Reversing Age Through Sexual Transmutation (01:07:45)

Kimberly praises Laurie's vitality and encourages listeners to share her message with others.

Creating a Royal Ripple (01:08:43)

Kimberly encourages sharing the episode to inspire others and emphasizes personal sovereignty.

Mentions + Additional Resources:

Tools and Concepts

• Fearless Communication: "00:10:03"

• Return to Love Formula: "00:10:03"

• Seduction as a Team Sport: "00:10:03"

• Nonviolent Communication: "00:10:03"

• Assertiveness Training: "00:17:35"

• Cuddle Parties: "00:20:37"