Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Cathy Chen

One of the questions we hear several times a week is about applying to college. We kick off our conversation by weighing in on whether or not you should tell your high school college counselor that you are also consulting with an IEC, or private college counselor. We touch on what you should and shouldn’t disclose in your application, how many times you should take the SATs, and the role of AP scores in building your profile. Join us as we chat about all things waitlists, letters of continued interest, recommenders, and more. Lastly, we unpack whether or not it is worthwhile to add in portfolio work or any other documents that you think may strengthen your case. Tune in today to hear all this and more! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:47] What this episode is dedicated to: FAQs related to the college application process. 
[0:02:11] Should you tell your high school college counselor that you are working with an IEC or private college counselor?
[0:05:09] Whether or not you should disclose a learning difficulty or mental health challenge. 
[0:10:24] A different perspective on the influence of disclosure on your college application.
[0:12:00] The number of times necessary to take the SAT.
[0:15:14] Answering whether or not you should include AP scores.
[0:16:35] How to get off of a waitlist and whether or not it’s worth it to send a letter of continued interest.
[0:20:03] How to choose a recommender and ask for their letter.
[0:24:23] The appropriate number of letters of recommendation to include in your application.
[0:28:52] Considering whether or not it is worthwhile to include a portfolio of work unrelated to the field of study.  
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Are your kids spending more time glued to screens than engaging with the world around them? Do you find yourself wondering if your child's love for video games is crossing the line into addiction? In this episode, hosts Meredith and Cathy delve into the pressing question: Is my teen addicted to video games? They explore the reasons behind the allure of video games and screens, challenge the notion of demonizing all video games, and discuss how certain games can offer benefits in various aspects of life. They highlight how parents can tell when it becomes problematic and share insights into navigating conversations around potentially addictive gaming or screentime behavior. In the end, it all boils down to finding the right balance for your kids and your family, inviting your kids into inquisitive and caring conversations, and reminding them that gaming and screentime are (and should be) considered a privilege and therefore something that can essentially, be taken away. 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:50] Is your child staring at a screen all day long?
[0:02:40] We dive into why kids love spending time playing video games or on a screen.
[0:04:20] Why we wouldn’t want to “demonize” all video games.
[0:07:20] Positive things that can come from gaming.
[0:08:45] The importance of building rapport with your child (about the game they’re playing).
[0:10:00] How you can tell if something is problematic.
[0:11:25] Strategies for navigating problematic (or addictive) gaming/ use of a device.
[0:14:00] Why it’s all about finding a balance.
[0:14:35] Approaching the conversation with inquiry and care (and not shaming).
[0:16:00] Setting boundaries, even if it isn’t a problem.
[0:17:00] Recommended boundaries for parents to implement.
[0:23:30] As you work toward balance, remember to set your kids up for success.
[0:25:00] Dropping the hammer: consequences that what work and those that perhaps don’t.
[0:27:45] The difference between a lecture and a conversation with your children.
[0:29:40] How to avoid pushing kids into becoming shady.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

College counseling can become a really tedious process that is often treated as a ‘one-size-fits-all’ blueprint model. At Village Coaches, we prefer to place emphasis on helping teenagers build important skills that they will use for life and figure out who they are while doing college counseling. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are breaking down what college counselors do, why our model is different from the norm, how meeting with students every week assists the process, and when the best time is to start college coaching. At Village, we don’t offer a generic model for every single student and instead, we help our kids thrive and learn about themselves while building skills they will use in college and beyond. For us, it’s about the long game and college counseling is just one of the many times your kids will encounter uncertainty and challenges. We even discuss why our students come to discuss college issues with us once they have already transitioned from high school. Lastly, we remind you that teenagers are smarter than we think and know themselves more than we give them credit for. You don’t want to miss this one so tune in now!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:01:41] Why we want to discuss what college counseling looks like. 
[0:02:51] How we define college counseling and the role of a college counselor.
[0:08:24] The Village college counselor model and why that feels different from others.
[0:13:21] Why we love meeting with students every week. 
[0:18:02] How our students manage transitioning into college and why they talk to us about it.
[0:21:32] What Village Coaches offers that other college counselors don’t.
[0:25:11] The best time to start college counseling.
[0:30:28] The beauty of getting to do college coaching the way that we want to.
[0:32:26] Why we approach kids with curiosity and trust that they know themselves. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Parents and teens often put way too much emphasis on extracurriculars for college applications when the truth is, they’re not as important as they’re made out to be! Today we dive into a discussion on whether or not colleges care about extracurriculars. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the importance of choosing activities based on passion and interest and not for the sake of applications, why unique activities are overrated, why the reason for selecting extracurriculars is more important than what is selected, and the negative effects of selecting curated summer programs for teenagers. We delve into why a college resume is not as important as you may think it is and why your actual transcript is far more important before we discuss anchoring decisions about activities based on values. Finally, we break down some examples of purpose and value-based extracurricular activities teenagers have come up with to inspire you. To hear all of this invaluable advice and wisdom, press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:04:28] Why extracurriculars are not as important for college applications as people think. 
[0:06:05] The danger of doing activities for the sake of college applications and not based on passion.
[0:11:42] Why you need to abandon the concept of trying to find unique extracurriculars to do for your college application.
[0:12:34] Extracurricular activities being more about the ‘why’ than the ‘what’. 
[0:18:38] The danger of pre-packaged curated extracurricular programs.
[0:23:35] The college resume: not as high-stakes as parents and teens make it out to be. 
[0:28:20] Why you should anchor decisions surrounding extracurriculars in your values.
[0:30:08] Examples of value and purpose-based extracurriculars teenagers have come up.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The College Essay Guy Presentation 
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We are very excited to welcome another guest to the Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You podcast! Joining Cathy and Meredith today is Mark Westerfield, a clinical psychologist who focuses on cognitive, social-emotional, and academic evaluations for children, adolescents, and young adults. He’s here to delve into a conversation about an important topic, psycho-educational assessments; what they are, when they are indicated, and what to do with the results from the assessments. Mark unpacks several aspects of the assessment process, the reasons families would seek these services, and the importance of including children in the process, and shares his expertise on how to work with schools to deliver individualized accommodations and recommendations. He also shares advice on how to deal with parents and students who push back or don’t make use of their accommodations. To hear about all this, and much more, make sure not to miss out on this episode! Thanks for listening. 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:20] What to expect from today’s episode.
[0:01:48] More about our guest today, Mark Westerfield.
[0:03:15] Mark unpacks the process of a psycho-educational assessment.
[0:04:30] Reasons a family would seek out these types of services.
[0:07:20] What Mark would advise families to watch for regarding learning disabilities.
[0:11:00] He delves further into the process behind the tests.
[0:13:15] How long the process usually takes.
[0:14:45] The importance of including the child in the process.
[0:16:40] Mark details what a neuro-psych report includes/looks like.
[0:18:45] Working with schools on delivering individualized accommodations or recommendations.
[0:21:50] Advice to parents/ students who aren’t making use of their accommodations.
[0:23:24] Dealing with parents who are giving push-back on using accommodations.
[0:26:50] Middle-schoolers and their need to fit in socially.
[0:28:25] Ideal ages for the different assessments.
[0:30:40] Dealing with the different reasons parents push back from getting their children assessed.
[0:36:00] A reminder that all our brains, simply, aren’t the same!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Mark Westerfield on LinkedIn
Westerfield Psychological Assessment
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How many of you actually felt like doing your homework as a kid? During this episode, we’re talking more about motivation; a topic that keeps resurfacing in our conversations with kids. What if discipline was more valuable than motivation? Join us as we explore how to respond to kids who cite a lack of motivation as their reason for achieving below their capabilities. Delving into our childhood experiences, we consider our respective approach to working as Deans and unpack what it might look like to encourage your kids as they develop the muscle of discipline by doing hard things. We also take a look at what may lie below what kids experience as a lack of motivation and discuss an alternative way of understanding what might cause them to feel that way. Listen in to hear all this and more! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] The topic we are revisiting during this episode: motivation.
[0:01:19] Feedback Cathy has received from her students on motivation. 
[0:04:01] Weighing in on how we all felt about our homework as children. 
[0:06:52] What kids are really looking for in the moment: motivation to do their homework.
[0:09:46] How Meredith and Cathy would define their style of work as Deans.
[0:13:10] Teaching kids to develop the muscle of discipline.
[0:18:51] Why it is beneficial to push your kids to do hard things.
[0:22:31] Managing your own discomfort at seeing your kids suffer.
[0:28:40] How technology robs students of sitting with their own discomfort. 
[0:30:49] What kids can conflate motivation with: fear.
[0:35:00] Why discipline is ultimately more valuable than motivation. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Value Sort App
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram