The Art of Connection. Woman to Woman, Heart to Heart

Sandra Vernon helping women connect
The Art of Connection. Woman to Woman, Heart to Heart

The Art of Connection is a heart to heart podcast message for women; from my heart to yours. In these podcasts, I will share messages to help create a mindset for positive change. Because when habits are changed for the better, the capacity for experiencing happiness increases. The Art of Connection podcast is about empowering women to create the best version of themselves as they contribute their unique gifts and talents in their sphere of influence, building community and connection, not competition. These messages come from my heart to encourage personal growth and fulfillment so that each one of us can become the best version of ourselves

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    Shame Revisited

    Shame. This is a topic of an episode I recorded or recorded many months back. It is relevant today as it was when I shamed first lifted its ugly head. Shortly after creation, shame arises from a cursed consciousness. This is the foundation of our shame, our minds, and what we think on. And from this cursed perspective comes projecting onto others. What is going on inside of us? Shame has a myriad names, loser, worthless failure loss cause forgotten idiot, uninvited to name a few. And in the hidden recesses of our mind, these curses are replayed situation that supposedly support. This view are rehearsed. Ruth Chels Simmons says daily habits create deep channels. This holds true to our thought life. And this is something that I've really thought a lot about the things we rehearse review, restate over and over again. Make deep channels in our thought life that takeover suddenly these lies become the story of our life. Our narrative, our story becomes one filled with shame and hiding away because we don't want to be discovered truly no area of our life is untouched by our thoughts. And some even go as far to say that these personal narratives are their truth or your truth. This phrase is so off base and its implication so far and deep reaching. I must call it out for what it is. A lie. Truth is unchanging. The circumstances of our life are always changing our story, our perceptions, our opinions, and our narratives all have merit and value, but do not call it your truth. That gives it too much weight and power in your life. It hijacks who you are with what you have been telling yourself through the years, Tommy Newberry states, the secret conversations you hold and the privacy of your mind are shaping your destiny little by little. Does that resonate with you? It certainly does. With me, shame is epidemic. I think we all have or experience it's ugly fruit. Even now, sometimes this is referred to the syndrome, you know, where you just don't feel like you're being authentic or real or you're pretending how many times have I told myself that I do not measure up to the task? Whatever that task may currently be. This is shame operating. There've been so many times in the course of, of a women to women meet up or have some other ministry that I'm involved in. And I tell myself not to go to that group that they don't want me there since they don't really know me. That's shame talking. How many times have I not reached out to that person or this woman? Because I tell myself she doesn't consider me a friend or I tell myself, don't mention that. Just let it be. And don't discuss it since they don't care. Shame does that. It lies to us convincing us that things that are most often just not true shame keeps us in, sequestered away. So as not to burden others, shame keeps us buried beneath the surface of the veneer of our life, false bravado or a shrinking violet, both are shame induced and they prevent us from entering into the fullness of life. Christ promised us shame is a bully. Shame is a jail keeper and delights keeping its prisoners in solitary confinement. In the midst of our busy lives. Liberation is found in scripture. Jesus told us that it was for freedom sake. He set us free. And since he is the son of God and the son of man, we know we can trust his words because why, how do we know that he created all things. He came to earth so that we might receive his gift and life in abundance. Shame prevents us from stepping over this threshold into this magnificent life. We might make excuses. We might come up with reasons why we don't, but it's shame that prevents us from moving forward. Liberation is God's truth woven richly into your inner most being, which is the foundation of freedom. The invitation and is life free from shame and living in abundance is a universal one. It is an all-inclusive call to all of humanity. Yet it is exclusive to those who accept the invitation and the free gift. Our thought life often filled t

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    Prayer

    Our prayers, easy to turn them into flowery platitudes of spiritual sounding rhetoric. People face difficult times and they asked for prayer and prayer is what we turn to when we're faced with suffering or calamity. These practices diminish the purpose of prayer. Prayer is defined as a spiritual communion with God per contains petitions and entreaties, but also worship and praise and worship. All that really means is thinking on spending time with having your mind focused on the thing that you say has worth, and God almighty. The creator of the universe is certainly worthy of all our worship. So after his disciples and I'm speaking of Jesus and his disciples, after his disciples asked about prayer, they wanted to know how to pray as they observed their teacher. Jesus, praying as an essential part of his life. As he walked this earth, Jesus demonstrated to them how to pray. And since the son of God prayed often daily, always how much more should we, how much more essential is this spiritual discipline for our daily walk yet I know is much more than what is practiced by most Christians. Yeah. Prayer is for Christians the way to commune and communicate and stay connected with God. God hears our prayers yet. He is not obligated to answer prayers of those who reject him. Really. It's not unlike a strange adult children running to their parents only for help when there's a problem or trouble. They're never seeking to build a relationship. Yet. Relationship building is precisely what prayer is about, and God has given us this beautiful privilege as a gift. This gift demonstrates God's longing to connect with each of us intimately and love only. God doesn't need us to help him in any way yet. He has given the practice of prayer as a tool, not to only commune with him, but to also co-labor with him. This is one way how we can participate in kingdom work. We co-labor with God. As we persevere in prayer, we participate God's purposes. When he, when we pray, we participate in warfare. When we pray, remember, God doesn't need us yet. He longs for us to enjoy the gift of prayer and the power of prayer by the creative design, the majestic beings, we know them as angels await their marching orders, which is garnered from our prayers. Now, um, this is not to say that God needs us so that his angels there to do the work. What I am suggesting and telling you is that go ahead, gave us this wonderful gift. So we can, we too can partner dissipate in the kingdom, uh, practices and kingdom work. So God doesn't need us. He can come in and his angels at any time to do his will and work yet. God also has prayers away that we too can participate. Take for example, this historical count of David, um, it's found in Dan or excuse me, Daniel, it's found in Daniel chapter 10, I'll read part of it. Um, and then just kind of summarize part as well. In those days, I, Daniel had been mourning for three entire weeks. I did not eat any tasty food nor did meat or wine. Enter my mouth nor did I use any ointment at all. And until the entire three weeks were completed, Daniel saw the horrible state that Israel was in. They were in captivity now. And so he was an earnest prayer and a vision came to him. An angel came down only. He saw the vision, but his companions, they heard it. They knew something was going on and terrified, ran away. It continues in verse seven. Now I, Daniel alone saw the vision while the men who were with me did not see the vision. And so they ran away and left him and here Daniel says, but I heard the sound of his words. This is the vision that showed up the, the angel. As soon as I heard the sound of his words, I fell into a deep sleep on my face with my face to the ground. Now, first of all, if I may, could you imagine if you had this vision and this huge being that Daniel tries to describe is there before you and your companions leave you, they abandoned you. But here's what this angelic being said to Daniel to, or Tim Daniel. Y

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    Fall Six Times, Rise Seven

    Fall six times rise seven. This has been a refrain for my life, and perhaps it resonates with you as well. It's my paraphrase from a wisdom writing of Solomon these past few years. Well, a good majority of my life really I've had physical issues and challenges and lately is I am doing the things to regain good health. It seems I take one step forward and then fall back several yet. As long as I keep plugging along, I will reach my goals. I can fall six times, but if I rise seven, I win my health challenges have been more like dealing with Nat swarms rather than a dragon such as cancer or some other fear diagnosis and thankful for that. But dang it. NATS are annoying. As a child, I was often described with compassion and sadness as a sickly child gamma globulin shots. When I was a toddler, several rounds of antibiotics in early grade school due to strep throat later in grade school, a virus with a raging fever that had my hair falling out weeks later. And of course the usual chicken pox, mumps colds, broken foot in junior high, and later on scoliosis was discovered and they required that. I wear a full back brace 23 hours a day. You might recall a movie way back when in the eighties about a gal in high school wearing a back brace, that would have been me after that orthodontics at the time could offer no help to the huge gaps in my teeth though. I got braces after high school, when a new orthodontist moved into my small town, then I contracted viral meningitis, not once, but twice as a 19 year old, there was concern that it might be multiple sclerosis and decades later when I was hospitalized yet again for meningitis, for the symptom care. Um, I had one doctor who was delighted that he could actually grow the meningitis bug in a Petri dish. Thanks to me. He had never had that in 25 years, guests, something good came of it. I also had kidney stones, a severe car accident that left me with broken ribs and a concussion accompanied by a beautiful scar on my forehead that my husband lovingly is my ax wound. I went through the sun roof of the glass when the car flipped. Um, I had a scare with bone scans and to determine if what I was experienced was, uh, rheumatoid arthritis or Paget's disease. It was discovered later that it was an MMR booster that a state required me to have before teaching. And that gave me the symptoms that I was experiencing concussion for. One of my special needs children that I was teaching that had me out of work for three days rear ended. And it was impact with whiplash. Chronic sinusitis treated the way too many antibiotics or anxiety was treated for both hospitalized with a cardiac issue. And of course there are my riding accidents, always my whole, my fault, not my horses. One ride I broke, I broke my clavicle, another, a tailbone injury and then broken toes because horses like to step on toes concussion again from a cliff dieting act incident, which was a near drowning situation. And most recently discovered that H pylori is a real issue. Thanks to over antibiotic use that has been, uh, preventing my body from using B and D vitamins. So my lab numbers are always in the basement, severe reaction to make medication that took me months to recover from. And prior to that, I experienced a significant hip muscle injury while attending a workshop that left me unable to walk for several weeks. And I'm currently dealing with what could be an antibiotic antibiotic resistant infection. Now I'm sharing this all with you, all these little mats of my life in hopes that it may resonate with some of you and what you're facing and give you hope and encouragement that it doesn't have to be a hopeless situation. Most often as an adult, I get some momentum in my health and journey. And then wham, I am slammed down again, whether it's an illness or, or an injury, but now armed with the promises in scripture that I know are secure, because I know he who has written them and I can trust his good character. So wh

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    God's Love

    God's love for humanity. It's amazing. The following poetical verses one of my favorites, was shared by my dear friend and mentor Helene. She shared it with me many years ago and it's something I still meditate upon frequently. It's written by Zephaniah and it reads the Lord. Your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will rejoice over you with joy. He'll be quiet in his love. He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy. Isn't this truly amazing. I read those words and I try to wrap my mind around it. It's just such an incredible and beautiful truth. And it's all inspiring. The creator of the universe thinks on you this way. He thinks on me this way. That to me is just truly difficult to comprehend. God is in our midst. He is not distant. And if you belong to Christ his holy spirit indwells, you Emmanuel God with us heaven here on earth because of his indwelling spirit. He is a victorious warrior. We have no worries when we are on his side, God rejoices over us. He rejoices with joy, which I am reminded that there is little in my life that is remarkable to rejoice over it. Yet as our loving heavenly father, he rejoices over me and over you and over us all, maybe because he loves us not due to our merit in a song written by king David. God is essentially reminding us that though. We may not know him. He knows everything about us and still loves us and still wants a relationship with us. And this is in David's Psalm 139. God will be quiet in his love, just muse on this for a while. Isn't it wonderful just to sit with someone who loves you and no words have to be spoken, no performance. You can just be. And this is how God loves us in quietness and peace. God  also rejoices over us. Exuberantly was shouts of joy. Zephaniah writes and reminds us. God loves us so much that he shouts with joy. Think about that to me, that is just so incredible to think that the creator of the universe would shout with joy over me. And then also sit and in quietness, just reign his love down on me. Even at our most deplorable, God loves us. He loves me. He loves you. He loves humanity, all created in his image to reflect his character here on earth. Jesus died before we knew our need of him, that his love, he declared to those who follow him, that we are now innocent and free. Again, referring to Psalm 139. David, uh, reminds us that we are not a mistake for all of our days are written in his book in God's book. And it's as relevant today as when it was first written and there were life might not look like anything of value or anything of worth God who can only speak truth and cannot lie states. That what he created was very good. And that's, he is. Speaking of is you and me. We are part of this creation by God's hand by God's spoken word. And the thing that I love to think on is God spoke everything into existence, but mankind humans, we are his image bearers, and he took exceptional care in our creation. He actually formed us with his hands and breathed his breath of life into humankind. That to me is just amazing. God calls his people, his treasured possession. Let that sink in a bit, a treasured possession. Now God was speaking to the Hebrew nation. When he made this proclamation, yet we have a gift and a privilege of being grafted into the family of God, through Jesus Christ. We too can be his treasured possession. Do you have a treasured possession? My children are treasured. My grandchild is treasured. Oh, how I love them? All my heart is full. I treasure my husband and our relationship. My little bit of treasury is just a glimpse of God's treasure and of his people. So the little bit that we treasure, which seems at times all consuming is about a fraction, but a glimpse of how God treasures us. And when we treasure something, how often do we think on that person or that thing that we treasure a lot. And sometimes it's all the time. God states in the song mentioned earlier. My thoughts towards you are as countless as t

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    So Much More for Women of Faith

    Hi, this is Sandra Vernon with face society. And you're listening to the art of connection, woman to woman, heart, to heart messages from my heart to yours, because we, women are all about relationships and connections. This podcast brings you hope in becoming the best version of yourself so that you can build positive relationships So much more. This is titled to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists and Danny Gokey. The lyrics are just phenomenal. I would encourage you to listen to the, to this song so much more. The question that goes with the song is what do you think about God? He is so much more than we can think or imagine. So who is God to you? Because many people will say they believe in God is he's in some lofty unattainable unreachable place. Does heaven caused you to think of clouds and harps and cherubs? Maybe God has become only a symbol to you, perhaps a cross hung around your neck or a Sunday. Ritual of going to church. What I can say is that he is so much more than we can imagine or comprehend. He has far more than we have ever dreamed of, but that may be part of the problem we don't think or imagined thoughts of God. Now I'm not suggesting, suggesting that we try to construct his physical characteristics. We can speculate he was from the middle east so we can speculate what he might look like. And I'm not suggesting that we do that. I just want us to think on and come to know who he truly is. God is with those who are behind bars. He's also with those who are sitting at bars and those who own the bars, God is with the wealthy as well as the poor. He is with us on the mountain, top experience of life, as well as when we are navigating the valleys. He is with the downtrodden, the wounded, the hurt and the lonely God is full of loving kindness. One of my favorite artists, as I said, Danny, Gokey has this song more than you think I am the lyrics, paint a picture of God that we often do not think about. He is not just a judge who condemns evil, but he is a loving God who reaches out to the needy and who reaches out to those who seek him. God is able to do far more than we could ever imagine. God is far more wonderful than we could ever dream. He is far more awesome than we can comprehend yet. He us in to learn of him. That to me is amazing. Those are the things we need to be thinking about. The creator of the universe. God almighty invites us in to learn of him, to get to know him. And since he is God, the creator of all things we to created in his image are to be creative. And part of that creativity is imagination. God is our fortress. Can you imagine a fortress? Think about that. What is a fortress to you? High thick walls, protection, security. God is our fortress. God is our refuge. What would a refuge look like? That would protect you from all harm. God is that to us, our refuge, God says he will hide us under his wing. Now this is not to say he has wings, but his poetic verbiage lens, our imagination to that of a bird. Have you ever seen how the parent bird will cover her chicks to protect them? God does far more than this, but he paints for us a picture that we can imagine. And each of these word pictures, and there are tons of them found in scripture, invites us to imagine what God is like as he gives hints of himself and about himself in his word, he truly is more than we think he is. He is trying. And this meeting that he is God, in three persons, one God, three persons, God, the father, God, the son, God, the holy spirit. He is omniscient. He knows our thoughts. He is omnipresent. He created time for us to live in and by that he is outside of time and therefore is with us always. He is omnipotent. He is all powerful, comforting to know that he can take care of us. God truly is more than we think he is. So let's check aside any false beliefs we have held dear and evaluate them. According to scripture, that's the standard to live by because that's the standard God gave

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    Residence or Reference Point?

    [00:00] The past, how do you view it? How does it impact your life? Do you find yourself dwelling there with sweet memories or perhaps the past haunts you with regrets or the what ifs or should have been? The past is powerful. It can be wielded as a powerful tool for growth or conserve as shackles keeping us in bondage, impaired and imprisoned and preventing us from living a joy filled life. I liked this quote. Past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. Does this quote resonate with you? Your unique past can be used as a reference point to learn and grow or are you residing there in the past hidden away with memories, both sweet and bitter. The past it raises its head often and tries to loudly declared that this is the way it is, the past. It can be used as a tool for shame to slither in with regret and condemnation impacting life now and the future. [01:14] The past use this way serves no purpose but to ensnare and entangle each of us preventing us from living life on purpose and in our purpose. Ann Voskamp says that no amount of regret changes the past and no amount of anxiety changes the future. Sandra Vernon here and you are listening to the art of connection. On today's podcast, I will be talking about how the past can be used as a reference point while living in the present, as it also impacts the future. So the past. What comes to mind when you think of the past? Are you thinking of your time as a new bride or in a new career or perhaps further back to your school days? Perhaps you think about your time as a mom, joyous times yet often filled with regret because you wish you would've done this or that differently. With each memory. The question often arises as to why did I do this thing this way? [02:22] Or why didn't I do this thing this way? Why did I allow my children to have smartphones so early? Why didn't die allow my children to have smartphones earlier? Why didn't I push my children to stick with learning music? Why did I push my children's stick? With learning music, you get the idea, the past dredges up wise, which really there's no answer except that you did or you didn't do that particular thing at that moment. It's in the past. There's no answer to the why and it's okay because I am convinced that we do our best at the moment and each season of our life. Hindsight, looking back, as the saying goes, it's always perfect. It's always 20 slash 20 vision. Looking back on the past, there is more clarity, and I'll talk about this more in a bit, but looking on the fat back on the past, it does not do any good to ask the why questions. [03:30] There's no real opportunity for growth with the why questions, why keeps us stuck in regret and oftentimes with that regret is shame. The question that does help in looking at the past as your reference point, the question that does help are the ones that start with what? What can I learn from this experience in the past? What insight might I glean from this situation? How might I have done things differently and what can be applied to the now? Because no amount of regret, the asking the why questions, why did this happen, why did I do this? Why didn't this happen? No amount of those questions or those regrets will change the past, but only further wound our soul, the past. It impacts the person you have become just as water flows through a canyon. Over time it carves out the channels whether deeper or wider. [04:36] So to the past, it creates channels in our soul that run deep and wide. If we focus on it too much, and here's what I'm suggesting for us today, not to live life. Looking back, can you imagine driving and using only your rear view mirror to drive? It would be catastrophic. So my suggestion is that we live life forward. We learned from looking back, but we are designed to live life forward. You and I can always look back and think of the myriad ways we could have done things differently. This is where the hindsight is 20 slash 20. You no

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    Out of Control Lifestyle

    Do you ever feel out of control? Sometimes? Do you get frustrated with the things you attempt to control, knowing or quickly realizing that you can only do your part and cannot control the entire situation? Control when we feel out of control or have no control over certain things, we become frustrated, irritated on, done. On today's podcast, the issue of control is the topic. I'm Sandra Vernon and you are listening to the art of connection, so I'm today's topic. I'll be speaking about control out of control or in control. It is a stressor of life until you realize this secret. This is a good news and bad news scenario. Okay? Sounds a bit crazy. I know, but hang in there with me. The whole issue of control is just a perspective shift. Really. That's all it is. I want to challenge you to make a perspective shift cleaned to the perspective that it is good news, that there is not a whole lot in your life. You and I can control. That's really good news. It lets us off the hook. How is that you ask? Well, as we let ourselves off the hook from being a champion for every cause, from taking care of everyone's problems, from attempting to control everything in our realm, we learned this as really good news because there's a whole lot in life that is not within our control though we'd like to and those things that are not in control or in our control. Those are the things that bring us frustrations. So for instance, we cannot control how our children behave 100 percent of the time. I'm sure many of you have experienced like I have going to a diner or to a party and only having your children behave in a way you know you did not teach them to behave or we can't control how our spouse interacts in social events. They may say certain things or do certain things that us we're. We're thinking, oh my goodness, why did he or she do that, but it's not in our control or it's not in our control how politics are done or how people treat one another and the list goes on. I would like. I would imagine you can think of more scenarios of things we would like to control, but we can't, so what is within our control, a very powerful bit is within our control. It is so powerful. It makes changes to our life in our thinking. So what is within our control, our thought life. This is within our control, how we manage our thought life is within our control and our response to life circumstances and life's happenings and the outcomes in life. This to a degree is within our control. How we respond to each of these circumstances, happenings or outcomes. We can control our response. We can control our thought life and we can control what we're going to fill our thought life width. So we are each in charge of our thought life. We each are in charge of how we will manage our thoughts and how we will fill our minds. What Diet will we feed our minds and our brains. This is within our control and how we respond to these things. This too is within our control and that's really good news. The things we can control are amazingly powerful things and we can to a degree control how we spend our time. We can control our thoughts and our responses and the actions that follow our thoughts, which leads me to the three key words as it applies directly and specifically to our individual lives. Here are the three perspective changing words. Remember, these three words apply to our thoughts, our responses, our actions. So what are these three words? I am responsible, responsible for my thought life, responsible for my actions and responsible in my response to circumstances and outcomes. These are the areas of life that are within our ability to control and therefore we can say, I am responsible, I am responsible for my thought life and what I fill my mind with. I am responsible for my actions and how I choose to treat others. I am responsible and it is within my control to determine my response. In any given circumstance, I am responsible for how I will spend the 24 ho

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The Art of Connection is a heart to heart podcast message for women; from my heart to yours. In these podcasts, I will share messages to help create a mindset for positive change. Because when habits are changed for the better, the capacity for experiencing happiness increases. The Art of Connection podcast is about empowering women to create the best version of themselves as they contribute their unique gifts and talents in their sphere of influence, building community and connection, not competition. These messages come from my heart to encourage personal growth and fulfillment so that each one of us can become the best version of ourselves

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