Static Radio

Bob LeMent
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The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.

  1. 3D AGO

    McMicrophone

    Bob is angry about the state of online commercials, while Miles finds his McDonald’s doppleganger. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/Tq_HJ1cKaB4 Bad AI Transcript of the show this week yeah that’s what I’d like to hear Bye. Bye. There it is. Did you talk over the gong? Are you there? What? Yeah. Are you going to say this is Miles or no? Well, no, this is Miles, but I think you talked over the gong thing there, so I could not really hear you. Oh, sorry. There’s a gong at the end. There’s a gong. Get it on. Bang a gong. Bang a gong. Get it on. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Listening to the sounds of old T-Rex. Welcome. Are you the holiday spirit, Miles? Welcome to the winter solstice, which is static radio. Thank you. We’re the winter solstice. The planets have aligned and the show continues. Okay. That’s what I say. That’s what I say. That’s what I say. Kids, are you listening? Yes. Yeah. And back in my day, the show always went on. That’s right. Pantless. Yeah, no matter what. That’s right. No matter what. Oh, my goodness. Now, I’m going to bring up a subject here that is not a typical subject that we talk about. Well, don’t get into that. Don’t let your imagination run there. And many fantasies were learned on that day. Have you noticed there’s this trend here lately? So you and I went to film school, right? And we were taught A couple of things, not really too many, but a few things. And I’ve noticed this trend on online video. Everybody’s so f*****g lazy. They’re even lazier than we are, which is hard to believe. They have people holding these tiny little microphones up by their face. And then they hold it up by the other person’s face. Those microphones are really cool, but… I mean, we were kind of taught to you don’t see the microphone unless it’s like interview style and then you have a regular microphone to kind of portray that rather than a microphone that’s actually supposed to be hidden, which is like a lavalier mic. And it drives me fucking batty. Not only that, they’re so lazy. Here in I don’t know, in Iowa, do they have sports betting? Yeah, donkey races. No, no, I mean like real sports. Yeah, they do. They do. They do. So in Missouri, they just opened up the online sports betting on December 1. And we’ve been barraged for now over a month with commercials. It’s coming. Sports betting is coming. There’s going to be sports betting. And all these commercials online and so forth are so s****y. There was one, I don’t remember what the sports bet was, but it’s literally a guy standing behind a water cooler with a coffee cup on top of it and a microphone sitting in the coffee cup. And he’s talking about how sports betting is coming to Missouri. It’s like, they’re like, hey, Billy, make a commercial for Sports Betty, Missouri. Well, how the f**k am I supposed to stand here? Just put the microphone in a cup on top of this so it’ll be the right. Okay. Let’s just take random, you know, objects in the office and stack them up to where we can have the microphone so I don’t have to hold it. Hey, this is Mark McGuire. They’ll be betting in St. Louis pretty soon with the betting circles. Pretty soon. Pretty soon. Then I see one with the uber-famous LeBron James. Okay, right. And he’s holding the little tiny microphone like he’s a goddamn fairy up to his mouth. He’s obviously on his phone because it’s vertical and He’s got the phone on the table, and he’s just staring down into it. That is the commercial. Hi, this is LeBron James. Sports betting is coming to Missouri. Why would he care about sports betting in Missouri? He got paid. He got paid to do it. He’s paid a lot of money. He probably got paid a million f*****g dollars to stare down into his cell phone holding a gay f*****g microphone. Why don’t they have Ozzy? What’s his name do it? Ozzy Smith. Ozzie Smith, yeah. He’s a hero. Come on. Well, I don’t know. I’m just saying. I don’t know. It just is driving me totally bonkers. And Deardorff. They could have him. He lives in St. Louis. Deardorff and Harts. Come down and have a steak. Here at Deardorff and Harts. But it’s just driving me batty how s****y. I mean, the commercials are s****y. They have big names making shitty cell phone commercials. People are doing Domino’s commercials in their cars holding these little freaking microphones. Hi, I’m Carol Channing. Just clip it on your shirt. That’s what it’s for. You can hide it. I know these microphones. They have magnets. You can put a magnet and you can hide it on your shirt. That’s what you do. I notice it’s more like on these Facebook clips where these guys are like on the street talking to like these women that have been, you know, out and about and drinking, whatever, ask them like really inappropriate things. And then, you know, women say, you know, something Friday night. Yeah. All right. No, but they’ve got the same setup. It’s like this little teeny microphone and they’re like, you know, like girls, would you ever kiss another girl? Hey, here’s my little, uh, fame microphone. look at it. You do know, you may not know this, but i know this. They have holders for those microphones to make them look like a regular sized microphone yeah they do and they don’t know anything we don’t want that no no we don’t want that we and the other thing is it helps with vibrations and, you know, people rubbing their fingers on it going Right. cordy no, they’re just like hold it like it’s a turd. Little tiny. I’m picking up turds micro penis oh my God. I’m just like, it just, it just drives me nuts. I was, you know, and the thing is because now we don’t, there’s not really television. Nobody watches television. It’s all streaming. Those same commercials are on all the streaming services that play commercials. Like if you get Netflix and don’t pay enough or, Peacocker don’t pay and Paramount don’t pay the upcharge to not have commercials now. All those commercials, those s****y commercials are on those. Right, right. Oh my, you know, I feel it. I feel, well, I’m mad because I hate it. I’m also mad because shit, we could have been doing this all along, making big bucks. Why weren’t we doing this? It wasn’t allowed. It wasn’t allowed. Exactly. It wasn’t allowed. I’m like, just take a minute and you can hide it in your shirt. It only takes like two seconds. No, we don’t want to do that. I mean, what makes me so mad is these people are lazier than you. Yeah, pretty much. And that is pretty goddamn lazy. Yeah. That’s pretty. You know what grinds my gears? Peter Griffin. You ever wonder? Why do people hold microphones? Why would LeBron James do a cell phone commercial? LeBron James calling. Yeah, I was just like, I was just thinking about it tonight. I was just like, this is making me so angry. I can’t look at these things. This is Billy Gibbons calling for onslaught. I’m right in here in my sleeping bag. Sleep inside my sleeping bag. Let me do a commercial for sports betting. This sports betting is literally a billion-dollar business. Mm-hmm. Let’s not put inequality into any of the commercials. I’m the ghost of Pete Rose, and I’m here to tell you that St. Louis is coming alive with sports betting. Sports betting. It raises the dead. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I don’t know if you noticed that or not. Just saying. Yeah, just more or less those men in the street things that I like to watch. I suppose I should have known that it’s all like women sitting on food or eating bananas. One time. One time I watched something like that. All your relatives out on Friday night going, hey baby, what would it take how much would it take for you to put your tongue down this other chick’s throat? Wait a minute i gotta get my tiny mic over by you. Hold on a second papa might give me this. Yeah. The, uh, no, it’s just, I don’t know. I don’t know why it drives me so crazy, but it does. It’s like, oh my gosh. Now I’m just gonna start dming you all these videos now i’ll be like hey look at it no don’t it violates basic human decency. I’m being harassed. Sexually harassed. Facebook already hates me already. I’ve already been in trouble twice with Facebook over posting stuff. I’ve never been in trouble on Facebook. I know. I’ve just quit posting on Facebook. I hate Facebook now. What do you mean? Facebook was your first love. Well, we’re divorced now. We’re divorced now, man. Your every breath that I take. Nah, man. I love Facebook. It’s the best thing in the world. It holds me incredibly. It loves me. Not anymore, man. It rubs my feet. I’m TikTok all the way. Oh, my God. You know, the Chinese own TikTok, my friend. I don’t care. I don’t care. I love the Chinese. They’re my favorite. You know who owns Facebook? Mark Zuckerberg. Well, I don’t know, but I bet he’s pretty rich. I don’t know. I’ll put my credit card information here on TikTok. It’s all safe. All right. I don’t know. I mean, but I know this microphone thing is just driving me nuts. I’ll get you one of those little microphones and send you out and around talking to people like a little. Have you ever kissed another girl before? Would you kiss a rabbit between the ears? One has 50 bars and holds back. I’ve got this pocket full of quarters. Yeah. All right. Dick Smothers here. Yeah. I heard he was using that joke. I heard he used that joke on that poor little girl from Love Boat actually. That little girl. Yeah. Yeah. As old as you are. Okay. Well, I’m just saying back in the day, allegedly, I believe she’s telling a story where he said something to her, something like that. Well, it’s okay. It’s all right. I’m not defending Dick Smothers. I bet you do. I bet you do. You got that look on your face. You mean Tommy or Dickie?

    28 min

  2. DEC 4

    Mondo Freako - Tina Resch Poltergiest Incident

    Tina Resch Poltergiest Incident Tina Rush poltergeist case (also known as the Columbus Poltergeist), revealing that the alleged activity occurred in Ohio in 1984 and that skeptics later pointed to video footage showing the teenage Tina deliberately knocking over a lamp as proof of a hoax, a finding often juxtaposed with the observations of parapsychologists like William Roll. DayJobbers https://youtube.com/live/l8-mllGB0Fg Transcript (AI transcription) so i heard you guys are just like two regular guys now, retired to podcasting yeah yeah just working joes yeah you know day jobs all the way down. We left the game. We left the game. The day the day jobbers as we’ll say. The day jobbers. You were there. You were there. Hey everybody, welcome to Mondo Frico. I got the day job. How are you guys doing, day jobbers? That’s going to be your new thing. I’m going to change the graphic from just two regular guys to day jobbers. Fantastic. I’m still recovering from Thanksgiving. Yeah. Oh, what happened to you? Did you hit my car? I just ate too much. Oh, okay. Your stomach. Yeah. Yeah. No. I’m good. I’m good. I mean, yeah, you can change this to the day jobbers now because I have a job now. Oh, you have a job? That’s even better. That’s… That’s always good. You know? Fantastic. Now you can pay me, pay you what you owe me now. So that’s fantastic. I’ll be putting my Venmo up on the screen here in just a few minutes. I’ll get right on that. If you can, uh, if you want to hit that, maybe a QR code, just zap it with your phone. You’ll be okay. Yep. Yep. So, uh, thanks for being here today, guys. Uh, this little show, we talk about weird stuff and, uh, I know, uh, Robert said he brushed up on it, but I don’t know if you brushed up on everything. And all the weird stuff. There’s a lot. There’s a lot of weird stuff out there. There is a lot of weird stuff. Hence my background here where I’m standing in a swamp of some sort. At least you are not at your desk. Yeah, I’m not at my desk. I’m out in my backyard and out in the backyard at the swamp. So you guys, are you up for possibly a little quiz on the topic at hand? Absolutely. Is it open book? Set up for failure. Is it open book? I got the internet in front of me right now. If you’re fast with your fingers on the goog, I think we could call it open book here. All right. Well, we’ve got our researcher on the other side of the camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? What is this? Another day jobber? No, they don’t get paid. They don’t have a job. Gotcha. Just somebody, the random person that came into the apartment. So here we go. We’ll play a little quiz music and get you in the mood. All right, we have a quiz on, uh, the Tina rush poltergeist case. Now you heard anything about Tina rush before? I told you so. The way this quiz goes. Is this what the movie Poltergeist is based off of? I don’t believe so, but we never know. We never know. Yeah, you know, these days. Because the movie Poltergeist was based on some real. Yeah, but it was based on some, well, quote, real. Yeah, yeah. So the way the quiz goes, we’ll start out with questions that are easier, and then they’ll get harder as we go along. At least that’s the plan here. all right. Is this multiple choice or? Yeah, multiple choice. I’ll read the question. I’ll read the answers. And you give me what you think is the best answer. How’s that? All right. Yeah. All right. See how this is what was it the christy rosh or the tina tina tina rosh tina rosh poltergeist case okay all right in what u.s state in year did the alleged tina ross poker poltergeist case activity also known as the Columbus poltergeist hint wink wink primarily take place Ohio choices New York 1988 California 1980 Ohio 1984 Massachusetts 1979 Ohio 1984 is the correct answer It’s going to be one of those bait-and-switches where it’s called the Columbus Poltergeist, but it happened in California for some weird reason. Is that like a hotel called Columbus? No, it was actually Columbus, Ohio. It actually started in Kansas. Yeah. No, it was Ohio in 1984. You guys got it right. That was an easy one. We’ll move on. Next question. What common household item was featured… In the most famous and controversial newspaper photograph taken during the poltergeist events, appearing to fly near Tina of its own accord here, I suppose. A, a table lamp. B, a drinking glass. C, a telephone receiver. Or D, a wooden chair. I’m going to go with wooden chair. Yeah, I’m feeling wooden chair. Why would it be? I don’t think any of those items are controversial, though. Really? Really? Well, it wasn’t a vibrator, guys. Come on. Like a bong just floating around. Tina’s bong flew by her face. The ghost was getting high. So you guys went with D, wooden chair? It was C, telephone receiver. It was the 80s. There was a lot of telephones on long cords. I don’t know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But why was it controversial? Yeah, I mean, that’s the question. What’s controversial? Well, the controversy was the newspaper photograph. Okay. Controversial newspaper photograph. So apparently people didn’t believe it. Oh, yeah, of course, because it’s not real. Well, potentially, yeah. I am a ghost skeptic. I do not believe that the ghost exists. Yeah, yeah. All right, let’s move on to question number three. What specific incident provided the strongest piece of non-antidotal evidence for skeptics who claimed Tina was faking the phenomena? She was holding the phone as it flew. She’s just talking on it. She’s like, look, see, it’s happening. Yeah, it’s happening. Yeah, woo. My hand’s just on it, but the ghosts are where they want it. She’s pinching it, right? So A, Tina’s adoptive parents publicly confessed that they had orchestrated the entire event. Oh my God. B, a video camera inadvertently recorded Tina deliberately knocking over a lamp before reacting in mock surprise. C, investigators found a small motor hidden underneath the couch that was used to shake objects. Or D, skeptics scientifically proved that the thrown phone was a lightweight hollow replica. I’m going to go with B, the lamp thing. That she knocked over a lamp. You guys in agreement here? I’m going to… I want the motor to be true, so I’m going to go with C, the motorized couch. Oh, the motor under the couch. Yeah. They had sense around in their living room back in the day. Well, Robert got a it was B. A video camera inadvertently uh recorded tina deliberately knocking over a lamp just before uh reacting in mock surprise. You got that one. How many is that that’s two yes two so we we got we got two more to go. We are number four. Okay. All right. Years later, Tina Rush, under her adult name, which was totally different for some reason, Christina Boyer, I guess she got married and changed, I guess maybe her full name is Christina. I mean, Christina, I think you can start under Tina. Yeah, Tina, yeah. And then, you know, you get married, you change your last name. It’s not that weird. This is where it takes a weird term. Was convicted in connection with the death of her daughter. What specific legal plea did she enter to accept the conviction while simultaneously maintaining her factual innocence in order to avoid a potential death sentence? That’s hardcore here. Now we’re zooming into… We’re zooming into the, you know, the murder podcast thing. I know. I was about to say that. Yeah. True crime. Now we’re going to true crime. And, you know, we got it’s all legal, legal up in here. A plea of Nolo Contendra. B, a standard guilty plea with admission of the facts. C, an Alford plea or D, a Magnotten rule plea. I’m going to go with McNaughton rule. I’m going with C, the Alfred plea. Oh, really? But I think it’s A, but I’m going to go with. You think it’s A? A, C, and D. Robert’s just hedging his bets here. You know what? Robert’s going A and D. Let me do B and C so we just cover all the bases. Yeah, let’s put a tenor on A, B, and C. Okay, well, actually. D is my final. D is your final answer? Okay. And C is the correct answer. I’ll give it to you guys. Half of you got it. I knew that one. The day jobbers here got it. So, wow, that’s good. You got three. This is the last question. Let’s see if we can – well, I guess you’ve made it over the halfway point, so you’re better than 50%. So let’s see if you can push that up a little bit on the last question. A long-standing controversy surrounding the Tina Rush case primarily stems from the direct conflict between which two forms of evidence? Here are your choices. A testimony of the foster parents versus the official police report on the initial disturbances. Parapsychologist William Roll’s documented observations versus the accidental video footage of the lamp being knocked over. See the estimated value of the damaged objects versus the amount of insurance money claimed by the family. or D, the initial newspaper report versus the later segment on the TV show Unsolved Mysteries. I’m going with D again. I’m going to go with C just because you always got to follow the money, man. Like these things get away with it until money gets involved. And then someone’s like, OK, we like everyone’s willing to believe in a ghost until someone says, yeah, that ghost cost me $50,000. Then someone shows up and is like, OK, we’re going to take a look at this. You can believe in ghosts all you want as long as it doesn’t cost us money. Exactly. But it’s clearly an act of god the pre the the the insurance company doesn’t have to pay out under those circumstances. Yeah. Wouldn’t you say god is paranormal in some way, shape, or form well that’s yeah that’s why it was an act of God. They didn’t have any control over it. oh yeah, we can’t well god wanted this. I’m sorry, uh It was b paris psychologist william rolls documented

    53 min

  3. DEC 2

    Glass China

    Miles takes his wife to Judy’s in Galesburg and shines with the waitress, while Bob realizes that rich people also have problems. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/lDCC6LiXnSM Bad AI Transcript of the show this week live streaming is on all right we are sctv is on the air everybody mambo hey everybody uh wait a minute i gotta play the thing no Hey, welcome to the struggle bus. This is Miles. All right. You know, I made that, uh, intro. We got a lot of use out of that intro. I made it 26 years ago. And we’re using it still. What is the laughing? I don’t know where did the laughing come from in there? Is that you or? No. I do say static. I am the person that says static. But it’s like just laughing. I just put some laughing in. It’s supposed to be funny. No, I just thought, oh, did he ever take this from a show we did or something? No. Do you remember in college I had these four different CDs that were all sound effects? You used it a lot. Wrong. Those were my CDs, assholes. No, they weren’t. They were mine. No, I had some. I know I bought those. I bought those. They were mine. I don’t know where you got those from. No, wrong. I had some. I had at least two of them. You might have had some of your own, but I had some. Which have gone missing for many a year. Yeah, well, okay. They were stolen. No, these were mine. I purchased them. You never had any money in college, man. What fantasy is this that you bought? That’s why I remember… I was like, you know. We’re selling his blood. We’re selling his blood to get sound effects. Andy Warhol, I noted all my purchases back then because I had no money until I remember I bought those. Anyhow, it’s from him. Okay. However you remember it, Mr. Mr. Mustache. Gosh. It’s gone. Yeah, I know, but I didn’t know that. I just found out after the fact that you had grown a mustache for a while. Yeah. How long did it take you to grow that mustache, by the way? That was almost 30 days. No, I mean to where it was full. I mean, it’d take you 30 days to get that full? Yeah. Wow. I had a full bush at that point, you know. You could have been in a centerfold spread from the 70s. Absolutely. No, I don’t know. It was a shitty mustache. I didn’t say it was s****y. I just said you look like an asshole. That’s all. Well, it’s kind of the same thing, is it not? No, not really. Why would I look like an a*****e? What do we mean, an a*****e? What would I… You look like, with the mustache, you look like you would be somebody who’s a prick. Exactly. Like, hey, you kids get off my lawn, kind of? Yeah, like, you know, you’d back into somebody and be like, hey, what’d you run into me for, jerk? Better watch what you’re doing. I fought the war. I own this town, goddammit. I was in the Gulf. I got friends, you know, on the police department. Yeah. They put you in your place. They’re like, I was like an asshole. One of those kind of people, you know what I’m saying? Oh, okay. Yeah. I must’ve triggered something with you. I don’t know what. I’m like, Oh my God, look at that. That’s triggering. You’ve been triggered, man. Like, geez, you look like the guy that burned down my house. You’re the a*****e. Yeah. No, you just look a little more authoritarian, potentially. Oh, I see. You got turned on. You’re like, no. You’re like, oh. Yeah, I did not get turned on at all. You got a little weird with it. You’re like, no. No, I just said, wow, look at that. Yeah. Yeah. I think the word sexy. And it made your nose look smaller. Your nose looked much smaller as well. I do have a big nose. That’s true. Yeah. So kudos to the Grove Ember or whatever the fuck you’re calling it. No Shave November. Oh, okay. No Shave November. I think Grove Ember sounds better. Yeah. We just need to change that, please. Yeah. No, I’m done with it. I got rid of it. Come back next November? No? I’m going to try it. Someone said I should go with the goatee as well, so I’m going to try it next year. Oh, yeah. Now, you do the goatee. You’ll really look like a douchebag. Yeah, I’m going to go with the soul patch, man. I’m going to be… You look like fucking Guy Fieri with a diabetic in a wheelchair. Yeah. No, I wanted to… I told my wife I was going to do the pork chops. She’s like, you better not. i want to look like nick offerman in that netflix show. He plays chester Arthur. Yeah. I watched that it’s pretty good, by the way yeah but you did yeah so but that’s not what i want to talk about this week. So this week i was going to talk about, uh, I kind of had a slight epiphany, perhaps. Maybe epiphany is too strong a word. But I’m a douchebag. I didn’t grow a mustache for November. Because you can’t. No, I cannot. Correct. So you had to be jealous of my shitty mustache. Even with 30 days, I don’t think I could have come up with a mustache as good as yours. Thank you. Thank you for admitting it. With the boogers in it. and the crumbs. Yeah. No. So I, uh, you know, uh, I, I, how would I want to say this without giving anything away too much away, I guess. Anyway, I, I have to do certain things for my job and I, you know, have to talk to people who are of some importance from time to time, perhaps. And so, uh, week or so ago, I was in kansas City. I met up with somebody for my job and, you know, had to have a meeting and uh and i noticed something. Yeah. And I, but it made me feel good. Kind of like i noticed tonight that you you had that picture of your mustache. I was like, yeah, that made me feel better about myself. Yeah, well, good. I’m glad. I’m glad. So this did as well. So, I’m talking to this important person, a person of some importance, and I couldn’t help but notice that his glasses were filthy. The bulge in his pants. No, it wasn’t the bulge in his pants. Filthy glasses. Filthy. He turned his head, and the light hit him, and I’m like, holy schmoly. It looks like those things, you know, he had blisters, monkeys grabbing him or something. They’re all smudged. Monkeys grabbing him or something. Grabbing the glasses because they’re all these fingerprints and yeah i guess i’ve never heard that before. Monkeys. Well, I’m just like something pawn at his glasses. And I was like, I was like. Maybe he’s at a strip place or something. Well, I don’t, maybe you’re right. I have no clue. I wasn’t with him at a strip place, but he could have gone easily. But anyway, I was just like, because I always have this problem. I buy really cheap glasses. They’re super cheap. I think the last pair of frames I got was less than $20. It is cheap. Yeah, online. I mean, the glasses, the lenses cost a little more, but the frames themselves, because I get these you know, no-nonsense kind of things. You know, less than 20 bucks. And he is a man of means, this person I’m talking to. Would this be older than you, younger than you, or the same age? I have no idea. That’s a good question. I have no clue. I would say somewhere close to the same, perhaps. Possibly slightly younger. Yeah. But definitely much more upscale And, uh, wow. Uh, yeah, he probably, you know, makes six figures a year. Right. So instead of your three vacations a year, he takes like five, seven figures. What’s a million, seven figures. He makes seven figures. He makes seven figures a year easily. Holy crap. And I’m like, look at those smudge glasses. And I’m like, oh my God, what it’s an epidemic? Where did you get the monkeys to play with your glasses? You got some weird fantasies. Well, you’re recently out of the country, sir. I bought myself a bunch of monkeys for Christmas last year. Well, not leave my glasses alone. I was, I was, I was, you know, cause you always go into these things and he’s obviously very well dressed, uh, you know, has some style to him as opposed to myself. Every cheek. Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely. Uh, you know, and you know, he, he looked, he’s very intelligent person. And, uh, and so, yeah. And then I look and I’m like, oh my gosh, those glasses. It was like really, you know, it’s really like, wow, you’re walking around with those on your face. Bella, look at those hands. Look at those tits. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, it was, you know, a bit of an awakening. I had never really noticed that before with people. You couldn’t take your eyes off it, could you? You’re like, oh, my God. No, yeah. I was like, I kept, yeah, trying to get glimpses to make sure that I saw what I had seen, right? So that was always a double check, right? You’re always like, oh, maybe it wasn’t. No, it was. Mr. Grady, I want to see your glasses, Mr. Grady. This guy was, you know. I don’t know what he was doing. Changing his oil and then handled his glasses or something. They were all smudged up. Oh, I was out making wine. You never think about these things, huh? Because you wear glasses. Oh, mine are filthy all the time. Mine are extremely filthy. I can clean mine. I don’t even hardly leave the house and I have to clean them. How does this happen? You go to bed, next morning you go to put them on and you’re like, was I frying bacon or something? What the f**k? Who’s slapping their dick on my glasses? Yeah, right? Yeah. The seven-figure guy, apparently. Greasy Dick. Greasy Dick Johnson. But no, I was just like, I couldn’t believe it. And I was like, well, now I feel better that my glasses aren’t always pristinely clean. Because look, this guy, he’s got… I’m somebody. He’s got disposable income out the wazoo. And, you know, I can’t keep these glasses clean either, so it’s not me. So you thought you were a better man because you saw this, right? Well, I don’t know if I was a better man, but I certainly felt better about not having super clean glasses all the time. Yeah. I don’t know if that bothers you at all. I guess you don’t reall

    28 min

  4. NOV 27

    Mondo Freako - Falkville Metal Man

    Falkville Metal Man Falkville Metal Man, a UFO story involving a police chief named Jeff Greenhaw who encountered a mysterious metallic figure in 1973. Joseph shares his book collection, including a recent short story titled “Is E.T. Really Here?” which is based on a dream and explores the concept of extraterrestrial life. As they delve deeper into the Falkville incident, they discuss the nature of the Metal Man’s suit and the aftermath of the encounter, which led to ridicule and the eventual resignation of Greenhaw. JosephMLenard.us https://youtube.com/live/8NoUSDoc80k Transcript (AI transcription) hey Joseph, how are you doing today? Hanging in there, you know, like i always say, could be better, could be worse, right? Yeah, no kidding. Have you ever heard of the thing called the foxville metal Man? No, is that anything like the moth man that’s a good that’s a good tangent Welcome everybody to Mondo Frico. My guest today is Oh, Bill. all things they go f**k yourself a little bit. It could be actually uh in regards to the story, not to give too much away, but yeah, one person really did got themselves uh falked uh in falkville but uh we’ll talk a little bit more about that but first joseph uh what’s going on with you? Is that a new website joseph m leonard.us No, I’ve had it for a while. That’s my author site that my publisher put up since 2022. I just generally don’t go with it a whole lot. You know, most books are sold through Amazon, so you just generally refer people there. There you go. Well, tell people… a couple of the books that you’ve written, because i know you’ve got a few out there, and it seems like every time i turn around, you write another book. I don’t know how this happens. Yeah, I, uh, well, let me hold them up here a recent one is a short story, A Lasting Legacy. That’s the soft cover. That’s the hardcover. You know me. I like to do things differently. Yeah, I figured, you know, there’s a few people that like hardcover. It don’t cost me extra to have it available. So, you know, and this is the book of Kennedy, Project Carpe Diem. This is the hardcover version of this. I don’t have the softcover copy. And of course, you remember, terror strikes coming soon to a city. That was there. That’s the full short story. Yeah. A short story and the book Kennedy are both novelettes. Terror strikes is a full novel. And of course I have podcasting quick start guide, uh, how to write a book and get it published for those either looking to publish or to If you’re an avid reader, just want to know what goes on behind the scenes of creating a book, hey, how to write a book and get it published is for you. Oh, there’s the book of Kennedy. Kindle copy, pretty plain-looking version. And we’re not talking about Kennedy the VJ from MTV days, are we? No. Nor are we talking RFK, JFK, or, right, or. or Jackie Onassis. None of the Kennedy clan. Kennedy is a female lead, which happens to be called Kennedy. And here’s Christitutionalist Politics 3 of 4. There’s four of those actually out now in the Christitutionalist Politics series, which is in conjunction with my Christitutionalist podcast and my absolute latest book. I don’t have a book, just have the printout. That’s the thinnest book I’ve ever seen. It’s the only page. That’s the Kindle cover. It’s only available as a Kindle e-book exclusive for 99 cents. It is Is E.T. Really Here? A Really Short Story. And that’s what brings you here. Right, exactly. Is E.T. really here? Wow. Obviously, the cover is just a page, but how in-depth do you go into this E.T. business in that book? Not a lot. Not a lot. I just wanted a food for thought kind of thing. It’s written weirdly. Yeah. for the right and you know i say because you’re doing your sleep or something only a breakfast uh well it is like most of my books based on a dream i had. So, yeah. I didn’t know that your books were all dream based that’s is that the name of your publishing company, Dream Based Publishing? It should be, but no. Joseph M. Leonard Media. Yeah, unimaginative. It should be uh thought-provoking publishing. There you go. Yeah, I just had a a weird dream. I was back in school doing a naked because everybody always has no i was clothed. And so was the professor. I was doing a thesis on ETs. Are they really here? So it’s a really, really short story. It’s told in a weird way of a student in school doing a thesis paper, and they put their outline on the computer. They come in the next day it’s vanished where did it go why did somebody turn the power off on him why did it go away why is he being censored? And that’s the premise to start into the very short Weirdly told tale. Exactly. A little conspiracy stuff in there, too. So, again, just, you know, something short to try to get people thinking about these things. It’s just a theory. Don’t panic. It’s not a real conspiracy. Well, that’s great. Well, actually, Joseph, we’re going to – we’ll talk more about this ET business in just a minute. Well, that’s really good. weirdly Written, which is also a short story. A Lasting Legacy is written in journal entry style, so that’s very different. The Book of Kennedy, Project Carpe Diem, written in all narrative, not one line of dialogue in it, which are all very different writing styles from my traditional Terror Strikes novel. Did you get an A in your class that you were taking for all that? That was all your homework. Well, I don’t get to it. Yeah, I don’t get to that part. But I think we’re going to find out a little bit more about your knowledge of some E.T. business when we take this quiz. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. I want you to email me that so I can make it my new download. My new ringtone, right? Oh, ringtone. You like that quiz? Yeah. Quiz. Manipulate it. Put it through AI and turn quiz into call. Call. There you go. So this is all… And Joseph… opted to not hear the story before taking the quiz, which I think is fantastic. It’s very brave. But obviously, he’s a very brave guy. He’s got so many books out. So this is all about the Falkville Metal Man, which is a UFO story that came out a while back. I’m not going to say when because it could be one of the quiz questions. So these quiz questions start out easy. They get harder as we go along. And let’s just see how you do. So the first question is, Who was the police chief who claimed to have encountered and photographed the Falkville Metal Man? I’ll give you some choices so you don’t have to just make up a name. I was going to go with John Doe, so good. Multiple choice will be helpful. All these are multiple choice. The first one is, so think about Falkville Metal Man and the police chief’s name. Was it Dale Henderson? Was it Jeff Greenhaw? Was it? Robert L. Taylor, which is funny because you’re Joseph M. Leonard, or was it Captain Shiny Pants McSparkle? Well, that last one sounds like a lot of fun, but Greenhaw sounds like a backwoods place kind of name, so let’s go with that. Jeff Greenhaw is going to be your answer. Yeah. All right. Fantastic. That’s correct. Whoa. Joseph ran out of the gate, right? Out of the gate. Woo. All right, we’re done. I’m going to quit while I’m ahead. Well, we still got four more questions to go. So what common household camera… Now, this is not necessarily your phone, you know what I’m saying? So this goes back a little bit. What common household camera was used to take the four famous photographs of the Falkville Metal Man? Was it A, a Nikon SLR, B, a Polaroid, C, a potato connected to a pinhole, or D, a disposable 35-millimeter camera? Well, somewhere around here and probably in the attic, I still have an Olympus 35-millimeter camera. Way expensive for back in the day when I first got it. Really nice. Nikon’s well-known, but I’m going to go with Polaroid. Polaroid. Let’s see. It’s two for two. Can you believe it? Oh, my goodness. Hey, folks, this isn’t rigged. You don’t know anything. You’ve never even heard of the Falkville Metal Man. No, this isn’t rigged. He didn’t share the questions or the answers ahead. No, it’s not a quiz show kind of a scenario. Right. You know, like in the 60s where they were rigged. Jack Barry or whoever his name was. So, all right. Now, they get a little bit harder, although I thought that first one was pretty hard considering, you know, you had to know the guy’s name, but. Let’s get a little bit harder. What specific material did the police chief Greenhaw say the creature’s reflective suit resembled? Because he’s called the Falkville Metal Man. So A, highly polished chrome. B, aluminum foil. C, mercury on nickel. Or D, a tightly wrapped leftover lasagna. Now I’m hungry. Thanks. Yeah. I’m going to have to go to Olive Garden for a lasagna after this. But what immediately popped in my head when you asked the question was aluminum foils to go with tinfoil hats. So let’s go with aluminum foil. Aluminum foil? Let’s see. I’m so sorry. Your first one wrong. But they were a little bit harder. Actually, he described it as mercury on nickel. So I guess it had some kind of fluid nature to the suit, I guess. So he was a T-1. Exactly, yeah. He was like the Terminator, the T-1000, right? T-1000, that’s what I meant, yes. So, all right, next question. What eventually happened to Jeff Greenhaw’s role as police chief shortly after the incident and resulted in media scrutiny? All right, here’s the choices. A, he was promoted to sheriff. B, he was transferred to a larger department. C, he resigned from his post. Or D, he was assigned full-time duty guarding the town’s decorative garden gnome. My first thought was that he got elected mayor, but I’ll say he got promoted to sheriff. Promoted to sheriff? Yes. if you’re doing so good on the other ones. It’s a little harder here. He resigned from his post. He was so rid

    45 min

  5. NOV 25

    Windy Exam

    Miles throws out his back again and sees an angel, while Bob almost gets caught in the crossfire in downtown Chicago. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/CGdMK9_T6yk Bad AI Transcript of the show this week click a couple of things and uh bingo bango bongo and Irving we’re on the internets foreign What are you… This is Dr. Death. It’s more like choking on his own phlegm there for a second. I know. I know. More like, you know, gobs of snot. I know. I can’t stop it, man. Yeah, hell no. I know. Can’t help it. What’s wrong with you? Jeez Louise. I don’t know. You’d think you’d been sitting through a session with the Beatles. Christ. Mm-hmm. I tell you one story about the Beatles, which you refuse to look up. Paul is dead. Everybody knows that story. Everybody knows it. I told you one story, one story, and you got a little excited. It’s one story only, sir. One story. You seem to relate to it, which is funny because you’re like, oh, me and my friends, Kevin and Dave and Billy and jr and steven and squirrel skippy and uh that’s right skippy and dougie yeah yeah i hear you exactly We’ll have, maybe we’ll talk about that on another time. Okay. All good. All good. All good, Bob. All good. All right. So I’m here with Da tonight. Da. Yeah. He’s gone very, what do you want to call it? Existential or something. Yes. Something or another. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Making up words. Welcome, everybody, to the show. It’s been a week. You haven’t heard from us. You’re wondering what’s going on. You’re like, how could this world be any better? Oh, wait. I’ll listen to the show with Static Radio with Bob Miles. And it’ll be better. So I went to Chicago this last week. Yeah. You were very cryptic. Yes. And so, yeah, I was in Chicago for a few days in downtown and I had, you know, it was a good time. Good time was had by all for the most part, you know, between the, between the traffic and, you know, the crush of humanity and, And the yelling and screaming. It was a good time. Did you go to Twin Anchors? No, I did not. Where’s Twin Anchors at, anyway? It’s like an old town up there by Lincoln Park. Oh, okay. No, I was in the loop. I was down… I was about a few blocks off Michigan Avenue. Mm-hmm. So… I don’t think that’s anywhere near Lincoln Park, is it? Probably not. Yeah. So why were you there? Why? Secret business. Okay. Can’t talk about it. All right. You won’t talk about it? Yeah, okay. All right. All right, asshole. Yeah, okay. Get it. All right. No, my wife had to be there for her work, and so I just tagged along and went. Yeah. oh i’m like oh i’ll go sure why not i won’t tell my boss. I’ll just go yeah i i don’t tell them anything. on other days why would i tell them about this right yeah why not yeah why what what is that whose concern is that of anyone’s? Uh, my concern. Well, you’re because you’re a little and you’re like, hey you’re getting away with something. Yeah. I don’t like people that work the system. I don’t. You are a person that works the system. That is your MO. I know. You are a total system worker. I’m trying to push the button. You’ve got a T-shirt and everything. You’ve got a card-carrying member. Oh, free parking. Yeah, I’d take some free parking. What do I got to do? Yeah, I don’t care. I give you whatever you want in the store. Take it for free. Don’t matter to me. That’s right. Don’t be joking. As long as I get for me. Don’t hate. Don’t hate. So, no, we were down… And I happened to send you… There was a shooting downtown Chicago, and I was, like, not that far from it. Right. So… This was a big weekend in Chicago. They lit the Christmas tree down there by the Bean. What’s it called over there? I don’t know. It’s Sunset Park. What is the name of that? Yeah, it’s called Flickin’ the Bean. Flickin’ the Bean, yeah. It’s Dave, you know. Oh, what the fuck is it? Yeah, there’s Millennium Park. Millennium Park, that’s it. Yeah, I know Chicago. You don’t, yeah. I know. I don’t go that often. You’re much more versed in Chicago-ese or whatever. I want to learn. Yeah. And so I, um, so we were down a couple blocks off michigan avenue friday night they’re gonna light the christmas tree. We actually went out to dinner, uh, right there nearby, right around the corner. And, um, and luckily i suppose we went back and by the time the shooting happened, I was asleep So I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t see anything. Even though eight people were shot. Yeah, eight people were shot. Like within a stone’s throw of where I was sleeping. I was Sergeant Schultz. I knew nothing. I had actually seen this on the news prior to you announcing that you were close to the action. Yeah, no, it was weird. I had taken a picture, which I sent to you. Uh, it was right outside the Chicago theater. Uh, which I was, I was, I just, I’m like, Oh, this is neat picture. I’ll take this picture. You know, like less than eight hours ahead of this whole event taking place. I mean, tons of people out on the street, tons of people. We had, we had dinner and then we headed back, you know, and we were probably back in our room, you know, by eight something, whatever it was. Sure. And then the shooting happened at 10 and I was already conked out. But, uh, Yeah, it’s those weird happenstances in life because I think we literally walked past the area where everything transpired. We walked through that area just a couple hours ahead of it, right? Right. So, yeah, that was weird. So then I wake up on Saturday morning. My wife’s like, hey, there was a shooting downstairs. Right. True, true, true. I’m like, what? I mean, that is the oddest feeling, right? It was. yeah i’m like really oh good i mean i so she had to work and i kind of just, you know bopped around for a couple days and so i walked through that area. I don’t know how many times. Wow. You know, and even that, that day she had to go do stuff and i walked right down there. Everything was all done. I mean, there was, it was like, as if nothing happened, the street was full of people, you know, Hey, last night, several people got shot here on the sidewalk. there was no, you know, uh, police tape or any, you know, crime scene, silhouette things on the pavement or anything. It was just, it was like, as if nothing happened, Bob’s going around picking up bullet casings. What’s this? Yeah. This would be cool. Key chain. Um, yeah, nothing, you know, nothing out of the ordinary happening in that area. Cause I, I did walk around there because actually, uh, we parked not too far from that location too. So, yeah. Right. Uh, just a weird, odd experience. I don’t think I’ve, I’m trying to, well, other than in college when the lady got kidnapped from behind my apartment. Yeah. That’s probably the other closest to when, you know I I you know, the next, later that day or something, I get this knock on the door and i answer the door and it’s a cop. He’s like, Hey, where were you last night? You know? And I’m like, I was here. And he’s like, did you hear anything you know weird because this woman got kidnapped in this parking lot. because I used to live, I lived basically on the strip in carvondale uh, whenever that meant something so yeah that was weird. So, but that’s not the only weird thing that happened, believe it or not. Okay. Yeah. Prior to that, I don’t think these two things are, are tied together in any way, shape or form. So prior to that on Friday, I was, you know, you know, peddling around. Yeah. And it, you know, Chicago’s a big city packed full of people, especially down in that area. and christmas time yeah the christmas village is right there, uh, close by and the um uh macy’s right there chicago theater the nita lander theater, um, all these places to go, all these shops and businesses and everything. So it’s just constantly full of people. So I am, uh, walking, i’m waiting, you know, to get across the street, like a good citizen yeah and i start walking. And this guy, I’m almost across the street, and this guy’s coming towards me in a black coat with a black hat. Okay. Like a fedora or something? Yes, like a fedora. Like a nice hat. Yeah, you’re screwed. Oh, man. And he comes right up to me. Yeah. I’m just crossing the street. Yeah. He comes straight up to me and says, I want to guess what he says to me. Would you like to make $5 the hard way? No, no. Um, it wasn’t anything untoward. At least I don’t think I’m going to say it. I don’t think it’s anything untoward. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. He goes, are you Jewish? Yeah. Ooh, yikes. He was a very Orthodox-looking Jewish man. Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. All right. And he comes up to me, and he’s like, are you Jewish? And I go, no. No, I’m a sugar man. Sugar. And then he goes, oh, and he walks on. Ignition the nuts. Yeah, no, he didn’t. I was like, does this happen every day down here? Yeah. Most people avoid me. Yeah, I would too. I’d be like, who’s that? Stomping around. Looked like the penguin. Well, at least he didn’t ask what was the frequency, Kenneth. That’s true. Punched you in the face. Yeah. What happened to Dan Rather? Yeah. No, but just on the streets, I guess I must look Jewish the other day. No, no, no. Yeah, I was like, that’s, I’ve never, actually, that’s not true. I have been asked that before, so that’s not totally true. I think i’ve been asked that more than once. Well, you don’t have a curly hair anymore, so that’s all i mean it still is curly, but not like it was, yeah. Yeah, you’re missing, like, a lot of hair now. Yeah, I’m missing a lot of hair. I’m like a dandelion like if you’re like a You’re like an alopecia person with like more complicated. Thank you. Thank you. You know, but my hair, the hair that I have is curly. I

    33 min

  6. NOV 18

    Cold Compliment

    Miles gets complimented on his style, while Bob takes the polar plunge. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/wRPUyBoKxLk Bad AI Transcript of the show this week And we’re off to the races. Miles gets caught with his pants down. Oh, wow. There we go. got Rush Limbaugh here with me. How are you doing, Rush? How are you doing, Rush Limbaugh? He’s all hopped up on pain medicine. You going to make it? But I have to say… Are you going to say hi to everybody or no? Hi, everybody. Miles. Did you know that miles is on drugs and he missed the bears game? Apparently he’s Bing Crosby’s love child here tonight. Okay. That’s fantastic. You’re going to say more than two words and make a bunch of noise or what? I feel like I’m on Ghost Adventures or something. Somebody touch me. Hey, Miles. Welcome to Static Radio. Did you hear that? Did you hear that’s the Ghost of Miles title? Oh, my gosh. Somebody touch me. Ay, ay, ay, ay. Possibly the biggest ghost show ever. I bought a glass of orange juice there, Bob. Fresh and sweet. My wife did what? Somebody touch me. You okay? I’m ready. I’m ready now. I wasn’t sure. I’m just listening up. Are you in the bathroom? Not now. Okay, good. It’s in bed naked. Oh, okay. No, I’m not naked. I’m sure your wife would have a problem with you being naked in the sheets. Yeah, it’s not good. She’d be like, we don’t need another Pollock. Yikes, yeah. Various bodily fluids leaking out on the bed sheets. Yeah, right. Your precious bodily fluids. I’ll be like Johnny Depp’s girlfriend there. She should have the bed. But yours would be unintentional. Yeah, like, oopsies. Oopsies. I swear to God, I thought it was a fart. I swear. I was just doing my Bing Crosby impersonation, and I swung the golf club too hard. If you know what I mean. Yeah. My nickname’s Putter. Putter. Oh, my God. What’s going on in Bob’s world today? Too cold. Too cold? What? Yeah. Well, it’s getting cold, you know. It’s like 50 degrees out. Well, today it was, but we had a dip there where it was like in the 30s for a while. Oh, for a day. Well, it was a day that will live In infamy. Oh, fuck. Here we go. So, I think I’ve mentioned this, although maybe I haven’t mentioned it enough. Maybe it’ll become one of these things that I say and then you’ll be all offended. Okay, go ahead. You know, like I say, you know, since my house burned down and then you get all upset. No, I don’t. So I have been swimming here lately. Right. What’s that? You love swimming. I do. For some reason, I do. I don’t know why. I didn’t grow up swimming. Are you buoyant because all your fat? It could be. Yeah. Shames to me. You lived your life like a turd in the sewer. guys partly no so actually my wife wanted to go swimming and she’s like, would you go swimming and I yeah sure why not you know yeah whatever I mean you know and so I’ve been going regularly. Right. And so the other day it’s like 35 degrees here. Right. now we don’t go to an outdoor pool or anything. It’s an indoor pool, but as you, may be aware the pool is in the ground right there’s correct and then they build a structure over it, cover it, right? Like a, it’s like a, you know, building. It’s not like they do, you know, dig it out so that it’s not in the ground. And, uh, so unbeknownst to me, I’m not sure if my wife knew or not. Unbeknownst to me, we get there. There’s like nobody there. Oh. And I’m like, well, this is fantastic. I mean, there’s nobody here. We can go swim in peace and quiet, you know. It was Veterans Day. No, no, this was not Veterans Day. This was actually the day before Veterans Day, as a matter of fact. And so I’m like, yeah, this is great. And then the lifeguard was in the office and they’re like, oh, I’m glad you’re here. I really don’t want to sit in the office. yeah okay we’re gonna look at porn, but uh since you’re here i guess since you’re here i guess i’ll monitor you. That’s always the weird part. Whenever you’re the only one and the lifeguard just kind of stares at you yeah awkward but usually she walks around, which is not so bad but oh okay all right let’s get where this is going. All right. Yeah. So, uh, And so, you know, we’re getting ready to get in. And then my wife was chatting up the lifeguard. And she’s like, how cold is the pool today? And she’s like, oh, it’s not that bad. It’s only about five degrees colder than usual. And I didn’t think anything of it until I got in. Yeah. And, uh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening. I was looking at your camel toe. I’m sorry. Could you say that again please no i i was i was like oh yeah whatever you know and so yeah i get into the pool. Well, lo and behold, it’s like fucking freezing yeah because their boiler was out. They normally heat the pool. Oh no. Oh my God. I’m like shivering in the water and yeah i started swimming. And I didn’t even realize, and I don’t know if my wife like withheld this information or whatever. I didn’t know that there was no, like it was basically, you know, like a puddle outside in the weather. We did our swim, but I was like, this is the coldest I’ve ever been. And I didn’t find out until like later that the boiler was out. I want my money back. Maybe I wouldn’t have agreed to get in there. I don’t know. I was like, holy moly, this is brutal. That girl had gumdrops. I felt like I was becoming a member of the polar bear club. Yeah. Were you okay? Yeah, I was fine. Did you have shrinkage? Well, I’m sure. I did not take a ruler out or anything. Yeah, right. Well, I’m just saying I know how you like to show off at the changing room. I think it was your last story. That’s right. You and the boys were kind of like taking bets. Yeah. No, but it was incredibly. I never. I swam normally, you know, with these kind of things. You get in. It’s kind of cold because it’s cold outside or whatever. And then you warm up as you move around. Well, I did not really warm up at all. And then I got out and it was even colder. And man, this was a rough day. Rough, rough day. I got to take off my floaties. Well, you know, I’m not a young man. And I’m like, I get in and I’m like, I’m going to have a heart attack. Oh, come on. This is what happens. People, they get in the extreme temperatures, right? So they go… outside to shovel snow in the cold and then they get too hot and then they just drop dead. Okay. we got quentin on the phone yeah i was really, I was like, when i first got in, I’m like, uh-oh maybe this lady will, will not be happy that we showed up and you know she got out of the office. Yeah. Yeah. She’ll be like, got a hall shamu up onto the deck here. Oh man. I shaved for this. Oh yeah. anyway so everyone just got scared, like, oh, if it’s too cold, we’re not doing it apparently i don’t ever read anything. Apparently, they put it out on their facebook or something that the boiler was out. Oh, so all these like 80 year old people picked up on it but yeah like yeah but not me. Yeah, when people like 50-something can’t figure it out. That’s right. I don’t ever read it. I don’t look at any of that. Come on. Oh, come on. You check out everything. No, I don’t. Honestly, I don’t even care. I have a time. No, come on. I go at the regular time. No. You’re probably like, what’s the weather in Iceland today? Let me look. Well, I could look, but sometimes I don’t. get curious. Yeah. I’m not curious about that. Yeah. I’m going to be now. I’m cool. Curious. I went this morning. Oh my gosh. It was the most delightful. I just jumped right in. It was it was fantastic how early do you go? Well, I don’t want to tell you because people show up or something, but you know i go yeah me yeah yeah okay i go early in the morning yeah i’m gonna show up to watch you swim. I don’t know. You may just show up to hang out in the locker room for all. Well, what does the lifeguard look like? I mean, well, no, I’m just saying you’ll hang out with all the guys. Donald ducking it, you know? Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Hey guys. Hey, Irv. How’s it hanging? Oh, wait, I can tell. Looks like a pencil eraser. Oh my cow. Oh my goodness. Um, no, no, I do. We go early in the morning. Yeah. Five? I’m not telling you what time I go. Come on. 5.30. It’s early. Before you would go, I can tell you that. You used to get up at 10 and race into work and barely make it. This is the latest I can be before I get in trouble. I have work jobs that way. That is true. Come on. I get up early, I do my swim, then I get ready and go to work. But I pretty much work from home nowadays, so it’s not a big deal. So I basically go swimming on company time is what he does. Is what he’s not telling us. No, I don’t go big swimming on company time. Oh, I swear to God, I’m working, boss. I swear to God. I swim in the early in the morning or I’ll swim at lunch. Yeah. One of the two. One of the two. Yeah. Okay. All right. but yeah, that was the cold day. It was cold it was yeah this guy’s there at 10 o’clock now some guy did show up, uh, as we were finishing and i don’t think that he paid attention to the announcement either. Oh, you weren’t a nice guy like hey mister no yeah no i’m like hey he’s here. Same as me. Nobody said, hey, you might not want to get in. It’s really, really cold. Right, right. No, they didn’t say that. In fact, she said it was only five degrees colder than normal. I’m like, well, what’s normal? I don’t know what it is. She knows. I have no idea. Maybe she does know. It’s not like a bath. It’s not like 90 degrees. It’s probably like 70 degrees or something. I don’t know. Blair, tell me what’s normal. You tell me. so anyway, yeah, it was, it was, uh, well, I’m sorry. So you had to go to that ordeal. Wow. Yeah, I kno

    26 min

  7. NOV 14

    LeMent Tonight 111325

    This Week In this episode of “LeMent Tonight,” host Bob LeMent welcomes comedian Miles Tidal from Aurora, Illinois, who delivers a series of humorous roasts aimed at Bob. The banter includes jokes about Bob’s past and his questionable habits, such as an anecdote about a painful encounter with a buoyant pool toy. Miles shares his interest in collecting sports memorabilia, including a prized autograph from Walter Payton, while discussing his financial limitations. The conversation takes a comedic turn as they play games, including a segment where Miles offers the worst advice possible. They also touch on humorous personal stories, such as Miles’ awkward moments and his family’s disapproval of certain jokes. The episode wraps up with Miles promoting his presence on TikTok and Static Radio, encouraging viewers to check him out. Miles Tidal https://youtube.com/live/ttCNkq9KEU0 Bad AI Transcript Hey everybody. Welcome to LeMent tonight. Hey, our guest tonight is Mr. Miles Title. Miles Title, no one knows who you are. But you’re here tonight on Lament Tonight. Direct from Aurora, Illinois. Sometimes funny, always filthy. Okay. The filthy stylings of Mr. Miles Title. That’s right. Miles, why don’t you regale us with a few zingers here. All right. Well, welcome to the roast of Bob Lament. Oh my gosh. I should have known this was coming. The roast of Bob Lament here. All right. Now, if I can just read my own writing, this is going to be really good. So here we go. I’ll try not to blow this, but thank you. I’m sure you will blow it. I will blow it. Just like. Oh, may I start? Yeah, go ahead. Hey, I met Bob. at film school, believe it or not. Yeah. He looked like a fat Ted Nugent. Now he just looks like a present day Colin. I’m cracking myself up. He had some jacked up teeth, man. He really did, man. He wrote a book about it. 50 shades of gray. Yeah. He said medicine he took as a child has colored his teeth. But I knew it was linked to his life time supply of good and plenty. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Hey, you know, Bob’s kind of a heck. He thought he knew a lot about movies. He was always bragging how much he knew, but he was kind of a heck too. He’s like, hey, Miles, you ever see the Star Wars movie? You see where Han Solo shot that Guido at the cantina? I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Bob, please. Greedo. Greedo. Okay. Hey, you know what? Bob. growing up in high school, Bob screwed all the women in Decatur. He really put the D in Decatur that time. Hey, you know what? What? Bob had a three-way in a rock quarry. Yeah, with Fred and Wilma. Bob had sex at McDonald’s with another employee. That’s how he got the name Grimace. Bob got his dick stuck in a zipper. His uncle’s. Nothing? Oh, okay. Thank you. Okay. You know, he went to Decatur High. It was called the home of the running knee pads. Bob made a children’s movie, but not on purpose. Bob would eat with a giant bath towel. I found out later that it was also his rag. Bob made a meal called Fries in a Bag, but it should have been called the Irish Colon Cleaner. Bob’s been going on vacation quite a bit this year. His next family trip is going to be to bankruptcy court. Thank you. That’s my time. That’s it. So I had, that’s all I had. Okay. Everybody miles title miles. There you go. I had to edit out a few things because I knew it would not be appropriate. Oh, well, I possibly you should edit a few more. Oh, okay. Well, So other than, uh, you know, roasting me, what have you been up to? Uh, mostly work, mostly work. Um, so what’s a hobby. If, if I, if you said, if I said to you, miles, what hobbies do you have? What would you say? Um, I like watching TV. Uh, that’s my favorite. That’s not a hobby. I like to collect sports items. I think it’s a good hobby. Oh, that is a hobby. That is a hobby. That is a hobby. You know, what always kills me though is like, I’m not funny in a group of people, but one-on-one on phone, like a phone conversation, I kill. I kill. So far, that’s not happening here. Well, I say we’re not one-on-one really though. You know, like I’ll call us like some tech support people. Like you are the funniest dude ever. I’m like, no, come on. No. A crowd of people I will bomb immediately. Tech support thinks I’m funny. I know. Tech people love me. The regular people out in the world hate me. So, yeah. So tell me about the sports memorabilia. Right. What are we talking about? Are we talking about, like, home plate from the World Series? What kind of things are we talking about? Uh, well, your local miles is, uh, somewhat, uh, limited on cash. So I don’t have anything super cool like that. Now it’s mostly football, I suppose, related. It’s not just the chicago bears, but it’s kind of all nfl stuff. Now I’ve started reaching out and, uh, acquiring certain things from, uh, people i know, you know, are you talking about stealing things? No, uh, no, I know a guy that pops lockers for instance. Uh, you know, is that what they call it these days? Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, I was cut more or less. I think it’s legal. I’m not sure how he does that, but he, I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it, but yeah, it’s crazy. It’s crazy. This is a good hobby for you. Why don’t you buy storage lockers? Oh, and flip. Oh, uh, pop them. Yeah. Yeah. Then you can, cause you’re using all the vernacular there. Maybe you should, uh, get into the action. There’s so much crap around this house right now. I can’t even use, I haven’t ever been able to use my garage garage. It is piled full of stuff that will never be used. Is the old, uh, elephant, uh, decoration out there? Uh, I did create my own elephant once out of, uh, kitty litter, uh, Boxes, I guess, in an old family camping tent that my mom had given me, which i didn’t, I’ve never had the guts to tell her that i tore the thing up and painted it and used it as like a halloween thing. But, uh, I don’t want to tell her either. because I know it’ll break her heart when i tell her that but oh let me out in the wings. It’s miles. Mom, come on in miles mom oh yeah you son of a bitch yeah I could not get her connected. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My mom’s always asking about this show. She’s like, oh, you’re doing your Howard Stern show, right? I’m like, it’s not mom. You wish it was Howard Stern. I wish it only was as funny. Believe me, entertaining is not. So back to this sports memorabilia. Right. So if you had, if I, asked you, what is the best piece of sports memorabilia that you have you would say oh uh i would say i obtained uh walter payton’s autograph in person at a restaurant that he owned. And that would be probably my favorite. That’s your best one. That’s the best item. Well, personally. Yeah. Oh, okay. I went to that place, didn’t I? I bet you did. No, I went with you. You probably did. That’s just my favorite because it’s on the back of a beer coaster. I love that. What’s the beer? What kind of beer? I don’t think it exists anymore because the gentleman has passed now. He would no longer have an interest in the… They made their own craft beer there. Oh, okay. It was like, like a house brand kind of thing. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Okay. I didn’t realize that. That’s interesting. Uh, but yeah, definitely. I’d say that’d be right up there with anything else I own right now. Yeah. I have jerseys and, uh, you know, figures and stuff like that. How much, if you, how much would you say you have numb, you know, number of items? Oh, wow. Uh, I don’t know, maybe around 100 maybe. Really? Maybe 100. I don’t know. Does that include little football cards or does that not include those? Oh, no, no. I have a lot of football cards, but I would not include those. You’re talking about items that are not football cards or items. I have balls. People give me balls. I’ve had balls given to me. I think that happened in the locker room. My niece’s fiance gave me a ball. That was nice. So he didn’t have to, but he did. That’s right. No, I know it’s weird. It’s like, people give me stuff now. Like I don’t even have to buy stuff anymore. Yeah. I’ve had people just like, oh, I was thinking about you here. Have this like, wow. They’re thinking about you, I guess. I don’t know. I’ll be like, oh yeah. You know, have these stadium seats. That’s okay. I’m like, wow, really nice. Yeah. You’ve ascended to the level of old, desperate uncle who wants sports memorabilia? Yeah. Yeah, I backed off a little while, though, because I was trying to get my picture with a guy I’ve been kind of stalking. And, you know, I was getting my selfie with him. And he’s like, hey, you’re not going to basically pleasure yourself with this selfie. I think I probably told you this story before. Yes, yeah. you were accused of masturbatory autograph hunting. Yeah, like, hey, stalker, I know how to get rid of stalkers. I’ll accuse them of, you know yeah so that, I don’t know. I took a little break at that point. I’m like let me assess the whole situation. I took like a week off and I said, no, I’m going back. And you’re like, I like masturbate I’m gonna go do it some more. Kirk, I started it. I could not complete. I’m sorry. I want to say that to him so bad. So bad. I want to say that to him. Well, any closing remarks for this segment in your collection of things? Do you want to estimate the value of all of your things? I don’t have like a big item, you know, ticket item things here. I don’t know, maybe a couple thousand dollars maybe. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Maybe. We’ll get to Cancun on this. Yeah. Cash it in. Yeah. I can join you on your next family trip. wherever you’re going. I don’t think it’s quite enough for that. What if I did go on a family trip with you? Would you allow me? No. Yeah. The songs of silence. I’ve tried to get you to go on a trip with me. Ye

  8. NOV 12

    Mondo Freako - Slide Rock Bolter

    Slide Rock Bolter The Slide Rock Bolter is a legendary creature from American lumberjack folklore, characterized by its whale-like body, massive mouth, small eyes, and powerful grab-hook tail, which it uses to anchor itself on mountain ridges while waiting for prey. 1000 Crazy Questions get the Tshirt https://youtube.com/live/F_zaiziz7vo

    35 min
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4.6
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.

Information

  • Creator
    Bob LeMent
  • Years Active
    2012 - 2025
  • Episodes
    200
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    Copyright © Static Radio 2025
  • Show Website
    Static Radio