Sympathy, Empathy and Boundaries // Tamara Lichfield

Life Coach Tamara Lichfield joins Courtney and Carley to teach the difference between sympathy and empathy, the symptoms of codependency and the format for setting boundaries. This episode is Part 2 of 3 within thse Connection Prep mini-series, airing April 2023. 

Referenced Quotes:

“I think so often, what people misunderstand about boundaries is that the point of setting them is not to change other peoples behavior or convince them to value different things – it’s to advocate for yourself, regardless of how they respond.”

• Daniell Koepke

"Agency is our superpower!"

• Tamara Lichfield

Referenced Resources:

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Connect with Tamara • http://www.becomingshatterproof.us • https://www.facebook.com/becomingshatterproof/ Connect with Courtney and Carley • https://heysisterpodcast.org • https://www.instagram.com/theheysisterpodcast/ • https://www.facebook.com/heysisterpodcast

Show Timeline: 

0:00 Guest and topic introduction; recap of Part 1

3:45 Sympathy vs. empathy

15:00 Codependency, areas and symptoms of codependency: 1) self-sacrifice, 2) tendency to focus on others’ needs, 3) a need for control, 4) difficulty recognizing and expressing emotion

22:00 Avoiding enmeshment and codependency by cultivating self-esteem and quality self-care

27:30 Boundaries: step 1—Define values (examples of values: family, success, faith and spirituality, honesty, affection, friendship, compassion, finances, appreciation, integrity)

33:00 Boundaries: step 2—Questions to consider when setting boundaries: 1) Do I have control to create the outcome I want? 2) Do I have control to create the outcome I want with some help? 3) Do I need to make a request to create the outcome I want? 4) Do I have zero control over the outcome?

38:15 Format for setting boundaries and examples: “If X occurs, then I will do Y”

43:00 Concluding thoughts and outtakes