The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations

Chris Wong & Lucie Tesarova
  • 5.0 (3)
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Ever had to have that difficult conversation with someone that you dreaded? You are not alone. Join us to explore how to improve how you handle difficult conversations with your team or loved ones. When we communicate better, we lead better, we perform better, we have better relationships, results and ultimately, a better life. Ready to learn? Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any future episode. Want to be a guest on our podcast? Let us know! https://bit.ly/3z4Sn5w

  1. How to turn critics into cheerleaders Part 1 (with Matt Brown)

    2D AGO

    How to turn critics into cheerleaders Part 1 (with Matt Brown)

    In this episode, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova interview Matt Brown, an Executive Director of a Watershed nonprofit, to discuss the intricacies of difficult conversations in leadership. They explore Matt's journey in the nonprofit sector, the challenges of navigating resistance from employees and board members, and the importance of understanding motivations behind resistance. Matt shares personal stories of hard lessons he’s learned over the years.   Takeaways -        Practicing difficult conversations can lead to better outcomes. -        Understanding motivations behind resistance makes a huge difference -        Building trust requires open and honest communication.   About Matt Matt joined OARS (Organization for the Assabet, Sudbury, and Concord Rivers) as Executive Director in 2024. Prior to OARS, he was Chief Operating Officer at Lowell House, Inc., an addiction treatment non-profit serving Merrimack Valley. Matt served on the Randolph Conservation Commission and Community Preservation Committee before moving to Westford, MA. He served on the Westford Affordable Housing Committee and coached youth baseball and basketball in Westford. Matt holds an MS in Non-Profit Management from Worcester State University and an MA in English from Clark University.   Interested in the difficult conversations course? Check it out here: https://www.myleadershippotential.com/trust   Contact Chris: chris@myleadershippotential.com Contact Lucie: lucie@mindfittery.com or www.mindfittery.com

    26 min
  2. Part 2: The Secret to Scaling Communities: Culture, Consistency, and Celebration (with Tasha Van Vlack)

    SEP 30

    Part 2: The Secret to Scaling Communities: Culture, Consistency, and Celebration (with Tasha Van Vlack)

    What does it take to build an international community? In part 2 of the conversation with Tasha Van Vlack, Chris and Lucie explore the intricacies of building and maintaining community within organizations, especially as they grow. Tasha shares her insights on navigating cultural differences in community engagement, emphasizing the importance of connection and flexibility. They also discuss the transition from management to leadership, highlighting the need for emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and the ability to celebrate team wins. Tasha's experiences provide valuable lessons for leaders looking to foster a sense of belonging and engagement in their teams.  Takeaways -        Maintaining connection in a growing community requires intentionality. -        Cultural differences can impact engagement and communication. -        Flexibility in participation is crucial for community members. -        Celebrating team wins boosts morale and fosters connection. -        Emotional intelligence is essential for effective leadership. -        Vulnerability helps leaders connect with their teams. -        Listening to community members is key to understanding their needs. -        Consistency in communication builds trust and engagement. -        Leaders should focus on visibility and value for their team members. -        Community is an organic ecosystem that requires shared control. About Tasha  Tasha Van Vlack is a community-builder disguised as a marketer. With a background in nonprofit engagement, digital strategy, and making things happen with tiny teams, she’s the founder of The Nonprofit Hive—a global nonprofit peer-connection platform—and the brains behind Community Hives, which helps organizations spark one-on-one conversations that actually go somewhere. Right now, she’s diving headfirst into scaling relational tech and dreaming up what’s next for human-first connection tools. When she’s not matchmaking nonprofit pros or geeking out on systems change, you’ll find her hiking with her kids, reading a good fiction book, or talking community like it’s a love language.  Contact Tasha: Email: tasha@thenonprofithive.com Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tasha-van-vlack/ Join the Nonprofit Hive: www.thenonprofithive.com   Interested in the difficult conversations course? Check it out here: https://www.myleadershippotential.com/trust   Contact Chris: chris@myleadershippotential.com Contact Lucie: lucie@mindfittery.com or www.mindfittery.com

    29 min
  3. Part 1: How to Overcome Self-Doubt (With Tasha Van Vlack)

    SEP 23

    Part 1: How to Overcome Self-Doubt (With Tasha Van Vlack)

    How do you get the confidence to build something in public  In part 1, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova interview Tasha Van Vlack, the founder of the Nonprofit Hive, discussing the challenges and triumphs of building an international community. Tasha shares her journey of personal growth, the importance of vulnerability in leadership, and the necessity of transparency in fostering a supportive environment. The discussion highlights the evolution of community building, especially in the wake of COVID-19, and emphasizes the significance of peer-led learning and emotional intelligence in leadership roles.   What were our big takeaways? -        Building confidence is essential for creating international communities. -        Community building has become increasingly important post-COVID. -        Personal growth often accompanies the journey of community leadership. -        Vulnerability in leadership fosters trust and connection. -        Transparency helps in managing community expectations and feedback. -        Real connections are more valuable than perfect presentations. -        Embracing imperfection can lead to more authentic community engagement.   About Tasha  Tasha Van Vlack is a community-builder disguised as a marketer. With a background in nonprofit engagement, digital strategy, and making things happen with tiny teams, she’s the founder of The Nonprofit Hive—a global nonprofit peer-connection platform—and the brains behind Community Hives, which helps organizations spark one-on-one conversations that actually go somewhere. Right now, she’s diving headfirst into scaling relational tech and dreaming up what’s next for human-first connection tools. When she’s not matchmaking nonprofit pros or geeking out on systems change, you’ll find her hiking with her kids, reading a good fiction book, or talking community like it’s a love language.  Contact Tasha: Email: tasha@thenonprofithive.com Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tasha-van-vlack/   Contact Chris: myleadershippotential@gmail.com Contact Lucie: https://www.mindfittery.com/site/contact

    24 min
  4. Roleplay: Boss to Employee - Performance Conversation with Jevon Gondwe (Part 2)

    SEP 16

    Roleplay: Boss to Employee - Performance Conversation with Jevon Gondwe (Part 2)

    Join us for the second part of our conversation with Jevon Gondwe, who is a Leadership Transformation Architect and the founder of Influential Skills Company.  If you haven't heard the first part of our conversation on how to create high performing teams, or as Jevon says "Culture of Champions", make sure to listen it here.  Key Takeaways: Building a team requires clear communication and accountability. Role-playing can help illustrate effective conversation techniques. Creating a culture of candor is essential for team success. Leaders should set expectations early in the relationship. Feedback should be specific and objective to be effective. Personal growth is crucial for leaders to support their teams. Mistakes should be viewed as learning opportunities, not failures. Leaders must be aware of their team's challenges and pressures. Open dialogue can prevent misunderstandings and disengagement. Building trust takes time and consistent effort. About Jevon:Jevon Gondwe is a dynamic Leadership Transformation Architect and the founder of Influential Skills. His leadership insights have been featured in major media companies like Inc. Magazine and Training Industry, Inc. Through Jevon’s proprietary leadership framework Building a Culture of Champions is preparing team leaders for the new economy. Fighting against corporate disengagement, high turnover, and average work environments, Jevon is transforming leaders into catalysts for growth by helping them develop the mindset for personal growth, while building the crucial communication and relationship building skills to connect, inspire, and lead a championship team. His unique approach to leadership communication is forged from over 15 years of hands on experience, and the invaluable lessons from 3 college National Championships under two of the NCAA's winningest coaches of all time. This background instilled a mindset of excellence, humility, and servant leadership, which Jevon has shared to inspire over 30,000 professionals. His core offerings focus on the intersection of interpersonal skills, leadership, and team building, helping leaders boost engagement, retention, and performance, even through their most challenging team dynamics. Jevon doesn't teach theory, he's applied these proven methods across diverse industries. A proud husband and father, Jevon embraces his unique Malawian-American heritage to connect with diverse audiences and firmly believes success comes from consistently adding value to others, a philosophy he champions for all leaders. Connect with Jevon:https://www.influentialskills.com/ jevon@influentialskills.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/jevon-gondwe/  Connect with us:Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

    32 min
  5. Building a Culture of Champions with Jevon Gondwe (Part 1)

    SEP 9

    Building a Culture of Champions with Jevon Gondwe (Part 1)

    How do you build High-Performing Teams? What kind of skills and factors are essential for effective leadership? Join us for a conversation with Jevon Gondwe to hear his personal anecdotes and insights that highlight the transformative power of leadership in both personal and professional contexts. Takeaways: Effective communication enhances overall quality of life. Leadership has a ripple effect on individuals and teams. Servant leadership focuses on maximizing others' potential. Creating psychological safety is crucial for team growth. Personal growth is essential for effective leadership. Listening actively can bring out the best in others. Vision should inspire and engage team members. Real conversations are necessary for alignment and growth. Fear often prevents difficult conversations from happening. Leaders should empower individuals to take ownership of their roles. Chapters00:00 Building High-Performing Teams01:25 The Ripple Effect of Leadership05:04 Understanding Servant Leadership10:23 Essential Skills for Effective Leadership16:46 Aligning Team and Individual Visions21:00 Creating a Vision for Your Team24:00 Overcoming Fear in Difficult Conversations27:21 Personal Growth as a Leader About Jevon: Jevon Gondwe is a dynamic Leadership Transformation Architect and the founder of Influential Skills. His leadership insights have been featured in major media companies like Inc. Magazine and Training Industry, Inc. Through Jevon’s proprietary leadership framework Building a Culture of Champions is preparing team leaders for the new economy. Fighting against corporate disengagement, high turnover, and average work environments, Jevon is transforming leaders into catalysts for growth by helping them develop the mindset for personal growth, while building the crucial communication and relationship building skills to connect, inspire, and lead a championship team. His unique approach to leadership communication is forged from over 15 years of hands on experience, and the invaluable lessons from 3 college National Championships under two of the NCAA's winningest coaches of all time. This background instilled a mindset of excellence, humility, and servant leadership, which Jevon has shared to inspire over 30,000 professionals. His core offerings focus on the intersection of interpersonal skills, leadership, and team building, helping leaders boost engagement, retention, and performance, even through their most challenging team dynamics. Jevon doesn't teach theory, he's applied these proven methods across diverse industries. A proud husband and father, Jevon embraces his unique Malawian-American heritage to connect with diverse audiences and firmly believes success comes from consistently adding value to others, a philosophy he champions for all leaders. Connect with Jevon:https://www.influentialskills.com/jevon@influentialskills.com Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

    29 min
  6. Transform crisis into an opportunity with Scott Harvey (Part 2 - Roleplay)

    SEP 2

    Transform crisis into an opportunity with Scott Harvey (Part 2 - Roleplay)

    How can you turn a crisis into an opportunity and rebuild trust? Join us for another episode of the Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, where we had a conversation with Scott Harvey, who has 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator. This is part 2 of the episode, where we role-play a difficult conversation that many leaders face - talking with an employee who "survived" a wave of layoffs and is now demotivated, anxious, resentful, and scared about the future. How do you have that conversation? Tune in to find out. About Scott: With 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator and over 18 years as a business owner, Scott Harvey has a deep understanding of what drives success. His career has included roles as a sergeant supervising officers, teaching thousands of D.A.R.E. classes, and delivering keynote speeches to hundreds of thousands of people. Scott's extensive experience has refined his ability to impart leadership skills, which he shares on dozens of stages each year. In 2023, Scott distilled his decades of communication expertise into his book, Silence Kills, which has already sold thousands of copies. As a business coach, Scott engages directly with entrepreneurs and leaders, challenging them to grow their businesses while maintaining balance in their personal lives and health. His unique style of personalized motivation continues to make a significant impact both on and off stage. Scott’s wife of over 27 years and their two grown daughters keep him grounded and inspired, providing real-life insights as he navigates the roles of husband, father, and entrepreneur. Contact Scott Harvey: https://speakingofharvey.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/speakerscottharvey/ https://www.facebook.com/speakerscottharvey  https://www.youtube.com/@SpeakingOfHarvey https://www.instagram.com/speakingofharvey     Contact us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.com Chris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc Lucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

    26 min
  7. Transform crisis into an opportunity with Scott Harvey (Part 1)

    AUG 26

    Transform crisis into an opportunity with Scott Harvey (Part 1)

    How can you turn a crisis into an opportunity and rebuild trust?  Join us for another episode of the Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, where we had a conversation with Scott Harvey, who has 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator.    Key takeaways:  Crisis can be an opportunity to rebuild trust. Prevention is key in communication to avoid crises. Silence in leadership can communicate apathy. Building rapport is essential for effective communication. The service recovery paradox shows that resolving issues can enhance satisfaction. Emotions can hinder logical thinking during conversations. Calming techniques can help manage anxiety before difficult conversations. Anticipation of difficult conversations is often worse than the reality. Collaborative problem-solving leads to better outcomes. Open communication fosters a positive organizational culture. And don't miss part two of this interview that goes live next week, where we roleplay some difficult scenarios for you!  About Scott:  With 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator and over18 years as a business owner, Scott Harvey has a deep understanding of whatdrives success. His career has included roles as a sergeant supervising officers,teaching thousands of D.A.R.E. classes, and delivering keynote speeches tohundreds of thousands of people. Scott's extensive experience has refined hisability to impart leadership skills, which he shares on dozens of stages each year.In 2023, Scott distilled his decades of communication expertise into his book,Silence Kills, which has already sold thousands of copies. As a business coach, Scott engages directly with entrepreneurs and leaders,challenging them to grow their businesses while maintaining balance in theirpersonal lives and health. His unique style of personalized motivation continues tomake a significant impact both on and off stage. Scott’s wife of over 27 years and their two grown daughters keep him groundedand inspired, providing real-life insights as he navigates the roles of husband,father, and entrepreneur.  Contact Scott Harvey:  https://speakingofharvey.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/speakerscottharvey/  https://www.facebook.com/speakerscottharvey  https://www.youtube.com/@SpeakingOfHarvey  https://www.instagram.com/speakingofharvey  Contact us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

    33 min
  8. Part 2: How to talk about race and social justice (with Hilary Giovale)

    AUG 19

    Part 2: How to talk about race and social justice (with Hilary Giovale)

    Is it possible to talk about race and social justice in a productive way? Listen to our interview with Hilary Giovale to find out the answer to that question and more! We discuss the challenges with having these conversations, how vulnerability plays a role in sharing our personal stories, and how white individuals can confront their guilt and engage in difficult conversations about their heritage and responsibility. Agree? Disagree? Have a story to share? Let us know! About Hilary: Hilary Giovale is a mother, writer, community organizer, and facilitator who lives on Hopi, Diné, Apache, and Havasupai land in Flagstaff, Arizona. A ninth-generation American settler, she is descended from Celtic, Germanic, Nordic, and Indigenous peoples of Ancient Europe. Hilary seeks to follow Indigenous and Black leadership in support of human rights, environmental justice, and equitable futures. As an active reparationist, her work is guided by intuition, love, and relationships. She divests from whiteness and bridges divides with truth, healing, apology, and forgiveness. She is the author of Becoming a Good Relative: Calling White Settlers toward Truth, Healing, and Repair. Learn more about her work at goodrelative.com. Check out Hilary's Guide to Making a Personal Reparations Plan. The book Hilary mentioned is: My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Healing our Hearts and Bodies, by Resmaa Menakem. This page has some links to independent booksellers who carry Hilary's book. All the proceeds from book sales go to Decolonizing Wealth Project and Jubilee Justice. https://www.goodrelative.com/book Contact us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

    27 min
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Ever had to have that difficult conversation with someone that you dreaded? You are not alone. Join us to explore how to improve how you handle difficult conversations with your team or loved ones. When we communicate better, we lead better, we perform better, we have better relationships, results and ultimately, a better life. Ready to learn? Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any future episode. Want to be a guest on our podcast? Let us know! https://bit.ly/3z4Sn5w

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