The Brutal Uterus Show Natasha Cozad

Trigger Warning - Mention of Pregnancy





Full Show Notes



I didn’t realize when I started writing this episode that I would have to trigger myself three different ways to get the whole story out.



Because surviving my uterus meant many terrifying nights in the hospital. From the way I found out I had endometriosis, to a scary surprise pregnancy with complications, and a total hysterectomy in the middle of a pandemic.



Surviving your uterus looks different for everyone.



For me, it meant digging that thing out and tossing it in the trash. (Which is medically known as a total hysterectomy.)



Hey I’m Natasha and my uterus tried to kill me so I decided to kill it first. Now I’m sharing my experience to help other people learn how to survive their uterus.



Now before you come at me, I’m not advocating that everyone go out and get a total hysterectomy.



There are plenty of ways to survive the myriad of issues that being born with a uterus entails that don’t have to end with ripping the thing out and dancing on its metaphorical grave.



There are just as many reasons to have one as well, from chronic illness to cancer risk to life-affirming salvation.



For me the decision was simple.



I had endometriosis, which causes painful lesions made up of the same cells that your uterus sheds every month to grow outside of the uterus.



I was in constant, debilitating pain in between periods and I was bedridden for 5 days a month, every month.



But I didn’t always have a name for the pain that had chased me through the years.



The Endometriosis Diagnosis



First, let’s go back to 2016.



I was laying on the couch with my heating pad, as one does when they try to pretend that much pain is normal.



I turned over and felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach.



I couldn’t move.



I couldn’t speak in full sentences to explain what had happened.



That it felt like a laser beam was carving a hole in my abdomen.



Or like being stabbed by a white hot knitting needle that stayed in and stayed hot.



All I knew was that



I knew I had to get to the hospital.



My best friend and future husband got me to the local ER, but we’re in a tiny community so they sent me off to a larger hospital about an hour away. I didn’t have any insurance at the time, so I declined the expensive ambulance ride and felt every imperfection in our worn Missouri roads on the longest ride of my life.



A few months prior, I had lost two friends within two weeks of each other to cancer.



And I hadn’t been to the doctor in years, even though I knew I was at high risk for cervical cancer thanks to HPV.



I was a single mom struggling to launch a web design business and moonlighting at McDonalds.



I would have gone to the doctor if I could’ve afforded it.



At that point, I was certain that they were going to run their tests and that I was going to die.



Because I truly felt like I was dying.



When I got to the bigger hospital, I went through round 2 of explaining that my entire left side felt like it was being eaten alive.



I even couldn’t pinpoint the pain. It all hurt.



My vague answers weren’t helping anyone, but I was in tears and in the fetal position and I couldn’t even begin to determine where the pain was coming from.



To make sure I wasn’t a drug seeker with a flair for the dramatic, they decided to keep me overnight and run tests.



So I spent one very scary, very painful night in the hospital.



At this point, I’ve forgotten most of this traumatic night.



All of my memories of it have a blurry film of fear over it. My brain trying to save me from the trauma no doubt.



They took scans and ultrasounds, but no one could or would tell me anything.



The next morning they took me to surgery.



I made it through recovery and finally the doctor came in to tell me what was happening inside my body.



Stage 4 Endometriosis.



I had never even heard of it.



The doctor explai

Well folks, I had a whole launch planned for this podcast in July but since Americans just lost the right to decide what to do with our uterus let’s do this. 



Trigger warning - mention of abortion, miscarriage, and rape.



Watch the Episode





Full Show Notes



Hey I’m Natasha and my uterus tried to kill me so I decided to kill it first and now I’m sharing my experience to help other people learn how to survive their uterus.



So what does that even mean?



Surviving your uterus looks different for everyone.



For me, it meant digging that thing out and tossing that shit in the trash… or what you probably know as a total hysterectomy.



Now before you come at me, I’m not advocating that everyone go out and get a total hysterectomy to solve their painful periods.



There are plenty of ways to survive the myriad of issues that being born with a uterus entails that don’t HAVE to end with ripping the thing out and dancing on its metaphorical grave. There are plenty of reasons to have one as well, from chronic illness and disease, to life-affirming salvation.



For many, these types of impossible health decisions are a regular part of life.



The Brutal Uterus Show is here to give a voice to the many facets of living with a reproductive system that feels more like a battlefield.



Welcome to the 2022 State of the Uterus.



It’s a hard time to have - and care about people who have - a uterus.



This year more than any other in decades.



On May 2, Politico published a leaked draft of the Supreme Court majority decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization that would explicitly overturn Roe v. Wade and remove the federal protection for abortion access.



On June 24, 2022 the federally protected right to privacy regarding your medical care was overturned.



On top of that, there’s a tampon shortage, and a baby formula shortage.



For those who are in chronic pain - if you’re lucky enough to get a doctor to take you seriously, you still have to navigate a world that ignores invisible pain.



And if you’re faced with a surprise pregnancy or an unexpected complication the decision on what happens next should be an informed one between you and whoever you choose to share that decision with, not one that’s made in a courtroom.



If you’re here, you’ve probably had to make your own hard decisions about your body and what’s going on inside of it.



Maybe you’ve made the type of decisions that Roe protected.



If you’re a parent - you have.



Because the choice to have a child is in as much danger as the choice to end a pregnancy.



When and how we get pregnant is at stake.



When and how we miscarry will be a gray area, and a dangerous position many red state people will find themselves in.



Maybe it feels reactionary, to assume that contraceptives will be next but I believe this court will push it as far as possible over the next few decades if we don’t expand the courts and stop them. They’ll come for marriage equality as well.



And friends - I am here to fight for it all.



I’m just a white girl in the middle of America but I’ll do whatever I can to help you survive your uterus and live your life.



This is a safe space for anyone who has been marginalized and demonized by society.



I know women aren’t the only people who have a uterus.



All loving people are welcome here, whether you currently have a uterus or you are a survivor of your uterus.



You deserve love.



And peace.



And to feel at home in your body.



When I was struggling with daily, insurmountable pain, I felt like a passenger in a broken vehicle.



And I wished I had someone to hold my hand through it.



Which is why I ultimately decided to do this show.



I’m an introvert by nature and so putting myself out there in such a publicly controversial way should feel harder than it’s been but I’m so passionate and pissed off because we should be funding research into w

The Brutal Uterus Show will take you on a journey through the prickly brambles of living with a uterus. We’ll talk about living with chronic health issues and pain, the true cost of surviving your uterus, and the battlefield you find yourself on after a life-changing diagnosis.



I’m Natasha Cozad and my uterus tried to kill me so I decided to kill it first. Now I’m sharing my experience to help other people learn how to survive their uterus.



If you’ve got a Brutal Uterus - check out our debut episode on July 11, 2022 at 2pm.