The Crux

Ryan Ginn
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I'm Ryan Ginn and on The Crux I'll be tackling the most important questions around men's experiences in relationships, with the goal of giving men real, concrete steps to help them move out of frustrating places and towards feeling more confident in their relationships.

  1. 10月31日

    The Ultimate Hack to Save Your Relationship!

    In this episode, we explore what truly makes a relationship work—not quick fixes, but consistent practices that build real connection. Ryan and Luke share seven core habits every couple can cultivate, from sharing new experiences and maintaining meaningful eye contact to mastering repair after conflict and keeping playfulness alive. They also discuss how structured planning and intentional communication reduce stress and strengthen partnership. These simple but powerful practices help couples stay grounded, curious, and connected—no matter how long they’ve been together. Link to Podcast on Repair 00:00:00 - Introduction: No Actual Hack, Just Real Talk 00:01:22 - Fundamental Relationship Practices 00:02:05 - Sharing Novel Experiences 00:02:38 - Quality Eye Contact 00:04:26 - Assessing Relationship Health 00:05:30 - The Importance of Repair 00:09:13 - Vulnerability in Connection 00:11:03 - Understanding Connection Beyond Positivity 00:12:48 - Navigating Resentment and Trust 00:16:09 - The Role of Play in Relationships 00:19:02 - The Power of Laughter and Lightheartedness 00:25:14 - Weekly Planning Meetings: A Structured Approach 00:28:22 - Recap of Key Fundamentals 00:29:06 - Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

    29 分鐘

  2. 10月11日

    The Inevitability of Disappointment in Relationships

    In this episode, we explore one of the most challenging truths about love: at some point, you will be disappointed in your partner — and they will be disappointed in you. Drawing from personal experience and real-life examples, we unpack why disappointment is inevitable in long-term relationships and how societal pressure to maintain perfection only deepens the disconnect. We share how marriage, parenthood, and life’s demands reveal our deeper survival patterns — and how embracing these moments can lead to growth and deeper connection. We offer practical tools for navigating these seasons with resilience and tenderness, reminding us that love isn’t about avoiding hardship — it’s about learning to stay open through it. We also announce our upcoming course, Tough Love for Men, a deeper dive into building strength, empathy, and emotional awareness in relationships. 00:00:00 - Introduction to Relationship Disappointment 00:01:00 - Understanding Human Limitations 00:02:00 - The Reality of Disappointment in Relationships 00:03:30 - The Facade of Perfection 00:05:00 - The Impact of Parenthood on Relationships 00:06:30 - Facing Personal Disappointments 00:08:00 - Navigating Difficult Moments Together 00:10:00 - The Importance of Connection 00:12:00 - Choosing to Be Present 00:14:00 - The Lone Wolf Mentality 00:16:00 - Reframing Tough Love 00:18:00 - The Role of Vulnerability in Relationships 00:20:00 - Breaking Patterns of Isolation 00:22:00 - The Dance of Connection and Disconnection 00:24:00 - The Challenge of Codependence 00:26:00 - Creating a Supportive Environment 00:28:00 - Tough Love vs. Heartless Love 00:30:00 - The Guardianship of Each Other's Hearts 00:32:00 - Upcoming Course Announcement 00:34:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action

    36 分鐘

  3. 9月22日

    White Knuckle Marriage: When Endurance Replaces Connection

    In this episode, we explore the idea of a “white knuckle marriage” — relationships held together by tension and control rather than true connection. Much like gripping a steering wheel too tightly, this state reflects couples enduring without emotional safety or intimacy. We discuss how traditional masculine values, like “happy wife, happy life,” often push men into silence and resignation, fueling resentment and disconnection. Without cultural guidance on empathy, boundaries, or partnership, many men end up white-knuckling through marriage. We also examine the costs — from loneliness to physical stress — and the patterns of conflict that keep couples stuck. Transformation, we argue, requires vulnerability, self-awareness, and often professional support. Drawing parallels to horse whispering, we highlight how attunement and nonverbal connection can restore intimacy. The journey isn’t easy, but with courage and guidance, couples can move from endurance to growth. Listen in as we unpack this metaphor and share resources at beingmen.net to support healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 00:00:00 - Introduction to White Knuckle Marriage 00:01:00 - The Pain of Enduring in Relationships 00:02:30 - Cultural Expectations of Masculinity 00:04:00 - Lack of Training for Men in Relationships 00:06:00 - Physiological Impacts of Tension in Relationships 00:07:30 - The Pandemic of Loneliness 00:09:00 - Creating a Life of Connection 00:10:30 - The Complexity of Intimacy 00:12:00 - The Need for Support and Education 00:13:00 - Stages of Conflict in Marriage 00:15:00 - Understanding Core Wounds in Relationships 00:16:30 - Navigating Sensitivity and Vulnerability 00:18:00 - The Importance of Transformation 00:19:30 - Personal Reflection on Marriage Challenges 00:21:00 - The Role of Nervous Systems in Relationships 00:23:00 - The Process of Compassionate Connection 00:25:00 - The Challenge of Emotional Growth 00:27:00 - The Role of Guided Support in Transformation 00:29:00 - Equine Therapy as a Metaphor for Connection 00:32:00 - Conclusion and Upcoming Events

    33 分鐘

  4. 8月20日

    Is It Me or Her? Understanding Relationship Dynamics

    In this episode of The Crux, we tackle the question many couples face: “Is it me or her?” Often asked after years of conflict and disconnection, this question points to deeper relational patterns like the avoider–chaser dynamic. We explore a three-step process for resetting relationships: Reset Yourself — Prioritize self-care, sleep, nutrition, and emotional well-being.Support Your Partner — Once grounded, help create a shared environment of healing.Seek Quality Therapy — Invest in structured couples work, ideally with approaches like PACT, to repair and rebuild connection.Along the way, we discuss how past trauma, unresolved hurts, and cultural conditioning affect intimacy—and how love can be reignited with commitment and care. If you’ve wondered whether your relationship can recover, this episode offers both guidance and hope. 00:00:00 - Introduction to Relationship Questions Exploring the common question: "Is it me or her?" and the context of relationship struggles. 00:01:44 - Understanding Well-Being Issues Discussing the importance of individual well-being in relationships and the impact of physical health on emotional connection. 00:03:36 - Resetting Your Own Physiology The necessity of personal responsibility and self-care as a foundation for relationship improvement. 00:08:38 - Assessing Your Partner's Well-Being The importance of ensuring both partners are resourced and healthy before diving into relationship work. 00:09:12 - Engaging in Couples Therapy Recommendations for finding effective couples therapy and the value of investing in quality support. 00:10:34 - The Cost of Therapy vs. Divorce Highlighting the financial implications of therapy compared to the costs associated with divorce. 00:12:34 - Reigniting the Relationship Fire Discussing the need to rekindle the emotional connection that initially brought partners together. 00:15:10 - Addressing Resentment and Hurt Understanding how past wounds affect current relationship dynamics and the importance of healing. 00:18:04 - The Process of Repair Outlining the steps necessary for repairing a relationship and the importance of expert guidance. 00:24:22 - Recap of the Three-Step Process Summarizing the steps for resetting a relationship: individual reset, partner support, and couples work. 00:26:09 - Conclusion and Encouragement Encouraging listeners to embrace the challenging yet rewarding journey of relationship improvement.

    27 分鐘

  5. 7月8日

    Navigating Masculine and Feminine Nervous Systems & Emotional Dynamics in Relationships

    In this episode of The Crux, Luke and I dive into the real reasons why intimacy breaks down in long-term relationships — and what it takes to rebuild it. We explore how boys are conditioned from an early age to suppress emotion, and how this wiring leads many men to disconnect from their feelings in adulthood. The result? A painful dynamic where partners are asking for connection, and men don’t know how to give it — or worse, feel shame for even wanting to try. We talk through: How masculine and feminine nervous systems process emotion differentlyThe quiet damage caused by emotional avoidanceWhy many men equate vulnerability with weaknessWhat happens when men finally feel safe enough to open up — especially in the company of other menYou’ll also hear personal stories from our work, insights from group coaching, and practical takeaways for creating deeper connection — not just with your partner, but with yourself. 00:00:00 - Introduction to Relationship Dynamics 00:05:30 - Masculine vs. Feminine Nervous Systems 00:10:00 - Cultural Conditioning and Emotional Expression 00:15:00 - The Impact of Emotional Closure 00:20:00 - The Role of Vulnerability in Relationships 00:25:00 - Personal Stories and Social Wounds 00:30:00 - Finding Solutions and Embracing Vulnerability 00:35:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action

    32 分鐘

  6. 6月15日

    The Art of Vulnerability: How to Open Up Without Threatening Your Partner

    In this episode of The Crux, Ryan Ginn and Dr. Luke Adler explore how men can share vulnerability in relationships without triggering shame or defensiveness. Prompted by a recent course participant’s experience of feeling shamed after opening up, they discuss the importance of emotional responsibility, maintaining agency when sharing feelings, and avoiding emotional fusion. Ryan shares a personal story of jealousy as his wife prepares for a retreat, modeling how to express vulnerability without projecting it. The conversation highlights how shaming responses can damage connection and stresses the need for mutual agreements that create emotional safety. Drawing on insights from Stan Tatkin, they explore the link between safety, attraction, and compatibility, concluding that one partner’s conscious leadership can shift relationship dynamics. For more, visit beingmen.net. 00:00:00 - Introduction to Vulnerability in Relationships 00:00:22 - The Challenge of Sharing Vulnerability 00:01:17 - Understanding Threat Responses 00:02:44 - Fusing with Vulnerable Parts 00:04:18 - Personal Example: Jealousy and Vulnerability 00:08:28 - Finding the Middle Way 00:10:30 - The Importance of Emotional Expression 00:12:08 - Navigating Shaming Responses 00:14:12 - Establishing Non-Negotiables in Communication 00:16:05 - The Role of Safety in Relationships 00:17:23 - Confronting Unhealthy Dynamics 00:19:49 - The Power of One Partner's Awareness 00:22:12 - Leading with Consciousness 00:24:09 - Conclusion and Upcoming Programs

    25 分鐘

  7. 3月31日

    The Intimacy Blueprint Preview: Module 4, The Power of Repair in Relationships

    In this episode, Luke Adler and I explore the crucial skill of repair in relationships—one that can make or break long-term connection. Drawing from my experience with hundreds of couples, I break down how navigating conflict with vulnerability and empathy strengthens intimacy. We discuss how to acknowledge your partner’s feelings without defensiveness, why conflict reveals deeper relationship needs, and how shifting from self-protection to attunement can transform moments of tension. I also share a personal story of struggling with defensiveness in my own marriage and what ultimately led to meaningful repair. Effective repair is a learnable skill—and one we dive deep into in The Intimacy Blueprint. Tune in and start building a stronger, more connected partnership.

    24 分鐘

  8. 3月22日

    How Men Can Initiate Repair to Build the Relationship they Want

    In this episode, we explore how men can effectively facilitate repair in their relationships, especially when they need it most. Luke Adler joins me to discuss how cultural conditioning discourages men from recognizing and expressing their needs—often leading to disconnection, resentment, or emotional outbursts. Through personal stories, we highlight the importance of mutual accountability, the pitfalls of passive aggression, and the power of vulnerability in creating a culture of repair. We also discuss how men can navigate resistance when expressing their needs and build the relational skills necessary for deeper intimacy. Join us as we challenge traditional masculinity and encourage men to embrace their emotions for stronger, healthier relationships. And if you want to dive deeper, The Intimacy Blueprint starts April 15th—learn more at beingmen.net! 00:00:00 - Introduction to Men's Needs in Relationships 00:01:22 - Cultural Conditioning and Vulnerability 00:02:50 - Personal Example: The Salt Shaker Incident 00:05:08 - The Importance of Mutual Accountability 00:05:49 - Passive Aggression and Unmet Needs 00:07:40 - Another Personal Example: The Potluck Experience 00:10:39 - Navigating Anger and Vulnerability 00:11:46 - Challenges in Vulnerability and Repair 00:12:55 - The Role of Trauma in Relationship Dynamics 00:15:27 - Creating a Culture of Repair 00:16:31 - Taking Turns in Repair Conversations 00:19:06 - The Importance of Time in Conflict Resolution 00:21:19 - Conclusion and Course Announcement

    22 分鐘
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簡介

I'm Ryan Ginn and on The Crux I'll be tackling the most important questions around men's experiences in relationships, with the goal of giving men real, concrete steps to help them move out of frustrating places and towards feeling more confident in their relationships.

資訊

  • 創作者
    Ryan Ginn
  • 活躍年代
    2022年 - 2025年
  • 集數
    34
  • 年齡分級
    兒少不宜