The Marriage Mentor Podcast Eric & Jolene Engle

It’s been about 2 years since your last podcast. I hope you’re well, and that you’ll resume doing podcasts again someday. I always found your content uplifting and encouraging. Maybe you could even do an update or farewell podcast to just say good-bye. ❤️

I so appreciate Eric and Jolene taking the time to guide us through God’s Word on what our marriage goals should be! They help us apply God’s truth to our marriage, very specifically at times, taking into consideration listeners issues. So appreciate them not expressing their opinions, but showing Gods truth! Thank you!!

Good, God-fearing people. Dangerously uninformed.

Liked
- Their counsel to weigh all advice against scripture
- Their recognition of the pastor’s bad advice
- Their willingness to agree that separation is a good thung

However, they advise women in abusive situations to set boundaries with their husbands—apparently not realizing that can exacerbate the abuse.
- No mention of safety planning
- No mention of where to find more information about domestic violence
- Blaming victims as “too passive” and “you just need to set boundaries”

I’d recommend Marie Fortune’s book “Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse.” While it doesn’t address all the forms of abuse we now recognize, she uses sound reasoning, good scriptures, and combines that with actual experience with domestic violence victims and knowledge of domestic violence.

For information about domestic violence in marriage—it is a problem of the abuser abusing and attitudes of entitlement, not “passive, submissive” women—read anything by Lundy Bancroft. Worked with over 1000 abusers. Nationally recognized and the preeminent expert in this field.

Be aware that
- abuse always escalates. Whatever abuse the victim is aware of, there’s always more she’s not aware of.
- victims need professional assistance in recognizing abuse and getting to safety. National hotline for domestic violence can put them in contact with local shelters
- shelters can often offer housing for victims of non-physical forms of abuse (if they have space...it fluctuates, even on COVID).
- marriage counseling is contraindicated in abuse. Could get her beaten or worse. She needs counseling by someone who understands domestic violence. He needs 1-2 years in a program for abusers.

If you are looking for a way out of the Egypt that is an abusive marriage, seek His help—and wise, informed counsel. He can deliver you.