27. The Mental Load of Motherhood Stethoscopes to Swaddles Podcast

The Mental Load of Motherhood
The mental load is a term for the invisible labor involved in managing a household and family.
 
MOTHERS AS CAPTAIN
Cicciola and Luthar, 2016
Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of Households
In the study, they sought to capture mothers’ felt obligations as the “captain of the ship” that was their household, that is, the extent to which mothers felt that they, more so than their spouses, shouldered responsibility for the management of the home.
 
WHY IT HAPPENS
 Descriptive and prescriptive stereotypes 
 
MEASURES
Emotional intimacy
Physical intimacy
Satisfaction with partner
Parenting role overload
Overall life satisfaction and emptiness



HOW TO IDENTIFY OVERLOAD
Burnout and depletion
Resentment and dissatisfaction
Overwhelm
Feeling unseen



MANAGING THE LOAD
Heighten awareness among today’s mothers of the degree to which and areas in which they might unwittingly shoulder disproportionate household responsibilities as compared to men, along with the potential fallouts. 
“Mothering mothers” (Luthar and Ciciolla 2016, p. 1820). 
Society should consider the magnitude of responsibilities mothers take on at home and at work, and equally, the degree to which mothers have opportunities to prioritize and make time for authentic connections with others to replenish themselves.
HOW TO NAVIGATE THE MENTAL LOAD
Share concrete examples of your mental load—> write them down
Ask for help with the management, not just chores
Continuous communication
Delegate and outsource
Task lists/ Project management
Prioritize rest and self care
Deconstruct gender stereotypes with partner and kids
 
Fair Play:” A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)
- Eve Rodsky
Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of Households
- Cicciola and Luthar, 2016