The Mother Daughter Journey Kelly & Abigail White

***If you haven't listened to our last episode - "Looking at High School through a Neurodivergent Lens" - we recommend checking that out first!***
It's SO easy to get caught up in the "what ifs" of life. As parents, we can easily fall into this trap not just with ourselves, but with our children as well.
~ What if they don't pass that class?
~ What if they don't get into a good college?
~ What if they don't get a well-paying job and struggle to make ends meet?
As common and valid as these fears are, focusing on the negative "What Ifs" adds an extra layer of pressure and stress. For some of us, it can even send us into a spiral of anxiety and depression. It can easily happen to us and our teens.
So, how do we shift this focus?
By following up your "What Ifs" with "Why?"
~ Why am I afraid of them not passing that class?
~ Why do I believe getting into a good college is the only/correct path?
~ Why do I feel like a well-paying job will = success/happiness for my child?
Then, once you've come up with answers, ask yourself "Why?" again. And again. And again. Channel your inner toddler and keep asking yourself the same question. The answers you come to will start to shift your focus from What Ifs to What Is.
Once you move away from the 'what ifs' and focus on the 'what is', that's when shift happens! Tune into this week's episode to learn more about what we mean.
If your teenage daughter is struggling with achieving all the "normal" high school things, this is an episode for you!

Music composed and produced by:
Ben Tackett
https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~0155f8866a94fb9405

High school.
It's a term that can bring to the surface a plethora of emotions and thoughts - some good, some bad, and some in between.
Navigating this intricate web of emotions, relationships, academic pressures, and self-discovery in high school can feel like a rollercoaster with exhilarating highs and daunting lows. Basically, high school is A LOT for anyone.
Next, let's look at the how most high schools are structured. They cater to the "normal" route that leads towards a single definition of "success" - a definition created by our society that is becoming increasingly difficult to obtain (which is a whole different can of worms!). In this fashion, we are almost setting our youths up for failure.
Then, let's add in powerful tools that can be used for great evil: Social Media and the Internet. High schoolers today have no way of turning down the noise. To some degree, you could relate these teens' lives being on constant display to the pressures of fame.
Finally, we mix in a little neurodivergence. As if the "normal" path wasn't difficult enough, now we are asking someone to follow it when it doesn't suit them or is even detrimental to their overall well-being. But, it's what is expected so we ask them to push on.
I don't know about you, but when I look at it all like this, it looks like a recipe for disaster. At least I know it was for me (Abigail), and I know it is and has been for others.
So, that's what our conversation today is all about! We dive into these subjects and share more about my own high school experience. We discuss what we would have done differently knowing what we know now.
If your teenage daughter is struggling with achieving all the "normal" high school things, this is an episode for you!

Music composed and produced by:
Ben Tackett
https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~0155f8866a94fb9405

Okay everyone... this is a MUST listen!
I mean if you were to ask us they are all "must listens", but if you are picking and choosing, CHOOSE THIS ONE!
Today's episode is extra special for a few reasons:
We introduce The ParenT(w)een Connection for this first time on The Mother Daughter Journey!It's our first time having 2 amazing guests at once!Our guests - Clarissa and Joe Constantine - are hilarious, a blast to be with, down to earth, and doing incredibly important work. We are SO lucky to have had this conversation with them!
When we first started this podcast, a big reason behind this creation was to provide a space where mothers and daughters going through the tough transitions of a maturing relationship can just listen, be, and learn. Especially, though, we were hoping to provide comfort for those going through this transition while also learning to love all of themselves no matter what their brain chemistry is.
This is the beauty of Clarissa and Joe and what they've created with The ParenT(w)een Connection. Thanks to them and all the professionals they are working with, we now have a judgment-free zone where parents and other members of 'the village' can connect with each other & with pros to support each other and your t(w)eens. 
I mean, how awesome is that???!!! The ParenT(w)een Connection is something we wish we had at the time, and we are so excited to be a part of something that can help others that are going through similar situations.
So, with all that being said, join us! Not only do we dive more into what The ParenT(w)een Connection is and how it can help, but you also get a sneak peek inside the brilliant and beautiful minds and lives of the people who have created it.
Of course this wouldn't be The Mother Daughter Journey if we didn't talk about Clarissa's:
Relationship with her mother as a childHow it did and didn't shift as they grewHow her relationship with her mother impacted who and where she is todayPLUS! We get to hear from Joe and his observations on the effect Clarissa's relationship with her mother had on their relationship and others.
Seriously. We know this is a longer than usual episode, but it is SO WORTH IT!
Where to find more information on The ParenT(w)een Connection and learn more about Joe and Clarissa:
The ParenT(w)een Connection WebsiteTheir Facebook GroupOn Instagram
Music composed and produced by:
Ben Tackett
https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~0155f8866a94fb9405

Words matter.
For most of us (hopefully), this isn't an entirely new concept. We've all heard the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", right? Choosing kind and thoughtful words over hurtful ones are, of course, a huge piece to compassionate and productive conversations.
But, words can hold SO much more power than we realize. Sometimes even the most innocuous and well-intentioned words can carry a negativity around with them and we don't even realize it.
So, that's what today's episode is all about! Join us as we dive more into the concept of words matter. We talk about the nuances of certain words and the underlying meanings they can hold with real-life examples. We talk about how we've been there - how we didn't realize the words we were using held so much weight. We also discuss how, with time, we've been able to shift the way we speak to ourselves and each other.
So, join us to learn how you can do the same!
Music composed and produced by:
Ben Tackett
https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~0155f8866a94fb9405

Abigail and I have been talking about conversational baggage so much lately that we thought we would revisit one of our first episodes from season 1. The title of the original episode is perceived expectations. When we listened to it again we decided this new title fit just a little bit better.
During this episode we share a story that illustrates the potential impact bringing conversational baggage to a discussion can have on relationships perfectly.
What is conversational baggage and where does it come from?
Conversational baggage is our biases, blind spots, beliefs, trauma, generational influences, societal influences, and possibly even genetic influences. The majority of us are unaware of the baggage we bring to a conversation because it likes to hang out in our subconscious.
It comes from our upbringing and lived experiences, which means there is a good chance that no two peoples baggage is the same. They are all custom made.
In this episode we also share some tips for when a conversation starts going off the rails.

Music composed and produced by:
Ben Tackett
https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~0155f8866a94fb9405

You hear us say it all the time - the mother & daughter relationship is SO complex. But within that complexity is beauty, friendship, love, and an opportunity for growth. And we are so excited because our guest today shares with us experiences that perfectly exemplify this fact.
Chris Dyer is the Most Valuable Partner (MVP) for Women 40+ and shows them how to create greater vitality, visibility and success in life and business. She is absolutely one of the best models for resilience, growth, and living in your integrity - we just had to have her on!
Join us today as Chris shares more about her relationship with her mother and her grown daughter. Together, we dive into discussions around:
What we inherit from our mothers - both the amazing and the not-so-amazing.How we can unpack that inherited trauma and learn to see our mothers as individuals with their own struggles and joysReleasing expectations for our mothers and our daughters to be or act a certain wayHow leadership plays a role in the mother & daughter relationshipHow to lead by example and be a model for change in our relationshipsAnd SO much more!
Seriously friends, this episode is chock-full of goodies to take home with you. I'm sure you'll walk away with many tidbits to digest, but my favorite is:
Expectations are just future resentments. Were you blown away by Chris' wisdom like we were? Then you definitely need to hear more of what she talks about. To learn more about Chris Dyer, you can:
Visit her website: https://www.chrisdyerconsulting.com/Follow her on Facebook or Instagram ORConnect with her on LinkdIn