The Mythic Masculine Ian MacKenzie

A few years ago I read Terry Real’s book “Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.” He is a well established couple’s therapist and friends with a fair number of celebrities, with the forward written by Bruce Springsteen.
In one chapter he shares the story of two men, a “strikingly handsome couple” that were “killing each other (as they put it) over sex.” One man wanted it all the time, and the other virtually none of the time.He writes “as any good therapist would do, I draw from each of them not just their respective positions but also their interpretation, their narrative, of what sex means to each of them.”I asked myself the same question: what does sex mean to me?And I reflected on my previous and current relationships, and how my narrative may have shifted (or not) over time.
I released my inquiry on Instagram over five parts, which you can find (with pictures!) here: One, Two, Three, Four, Five.
And I decided to compile them all together in this post and release as a podcast episode.
It was a fascinating experience to reflect on, and may stir many things for you. But before you read on…
UPCOMING EVENTS & TRAININGS
In two weeks July 26-28 I’m holding my next in-person men’s immersion Awakening the Wild Erotic. We have four spots left, so if this calls to you: Apply Now.
In September we’re launching the next cohort of The Deep Masculine, a 12 week online archetypal exploration into the realms of eros, sex & masculinity. Men can an join from anywhere the world. Apply Here.
PART ONE
My first sexual experience with a woman was not intentional. I was 15, we were both intoxicated and she lead me into the bathroom at her friends house and proceeded before I knew what was happening. The encounter lasted seconds and I left confused and desiring to strike it from my memory.My first intentional sexual experience was with a middle school girlfriend. She was not a 'virgin' (a terrible construct fyi), and she had more experience. The encounter also lasted a short time before I ejaculated and reacted in a shame spiral that motivated me to literally leave the room, jump in my car and drive away.When I was able to calm down (or ‘auto-regulate’ as Jessica Fern details in her book Polysecure) I returned to my girlfriend's house to reconnect.Over time I began to enjoy sex, even though for the rest of my high school years it had to remain secret from our parents.The only “sex talk” I received from my father was about how many semen live in a teaspoon of sperm - and the likelihood of getting an STD (now of course, we call them STI’s). The sum total of the message being that sex would either 1) get a girl pregnant or 2) give me a disease.I don’t judge him for this, as it’s the story for so many youth. And I’m sure he received that much or even less as he crossed into puberty and his erotic life.What is the consequence of so many of us entering our sexual awakening with experiences of confusion, shame and trauma? And how might it be different?
PART TWO
At 26 I was married.Looking back it was a ludicrous decision to believe I was experienced enough to understand this massive lifelong commitment. This is a fate shared by most modern newlyweds bereft of true mentorship in love & relationships.In marriage, sex morphed into many things: the cultivation of pleasure, a way to co-regulate, and sometimes an expectation and a chore.Yet, if we went too long without sex, I would sometimes play a passive aggressive game: I would stop initiating entirely and wait to see if she would. This would show me whether she was “actually into it” and ideally show her how much I was carrying our sex life.It was easy to translate her lack of initiation or openness to my advances as rejection. Sex became more sparse and formulaic, as it often does into long term domestic relationships.Six years into the marriage, we shipwrecked on fertility challenges.This was also the time we discovered MD

“The first half of my career was spent putting people to sleep, and after my midlife crisis, I realized I had to start waking people up, including myself.”

My guest today is Dr. Stephen Faulkner, a former medical doctor, pilot, and one of my key mentors on the path of mythopoetic masculinity.
In this episode, Stephen reflects on his nearly 70 years of life and shares his profound emotional and spiritual contentment despite facing chronic health issues. He emphasizes the critical importance of engaging in inner spiritual work to avoid the bitterness and regret that often accompany aging.
The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Stephen recounts his spiritual awakening at age 35, guided by the mythic maps found in "Iron John," and highlights the healing significance of connecting with nature and ritual. We speak on the transformative power of men's circles and the profound influence of Robert Bly on his journey, who also kindled a love of the great poet and artist William Blake.
He shares the tale of Gilgamesh & Endiku which was part of how we first met.
And finally, Stephen speaks of his recent near-death experience that brought him an unexpected sense of peace. He concludes with a heartfelt call for older men to mentor and support younger men, ensuring the continuity of wisdom and tending the fire across generations.
LINKS
* The enduring presence and power of William Blake (featuring Stephen Faulkner)
UPCOMING OFFERINGS
Next month, Deus and I are holding our next AWE (Awakening the Wild Erotic) Men’s Weekend July 26-28 in Black Creek, about 3 hours north of Victoria on Vancouver Island. It’s a ritual immersion in the archetype of the Lover, and if this calls to you, come join us. We’re 60% full already.
In September we’re also launching our next cohort of The Deep Masculine, a 12-week online expedition into the alluring, seductive force that animates all of life - Eros and beyond. It’s the most comprehensive container I’ve co-crafted to condenses almost a decade worth of men’s work, myth, and somatics into a powerful journey. Book a Discovery Call now and see if it’s right for you.
And finally, for all genders, you’re invited to take my online course Iron John: A Mythic Story About Men, which is a fantastic introduction to the book & a great way to integrate the chapters alongside my special guests like Stephen Jenkinson, Michael Gay, Sophie Strand and more.
What do you think of this episode? I’d love to hear your comments below.


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My guest today is Trevor Yelich, an alternative therapist specializing in breathwork, somatic psychotherapeutics and trauma work. He is the founder of Numa Somatics and the Numa Mystery School.
This episode was recorded immediately after I completed an in-person training with Trevor in psychotherapeutics, which I very much enjoyed. Many of the principles and practices I found quite complementary to my existing experience facilitating groups, and I found Trevor to be highly intelligent, warm and compassionate.
In this episode, Trevor shares his take on navigating a transformative phase of life, characterized by shifts in work, relationships, and self-awareness. He delves into the concept of the Chiron return, its significance in astrology, and how it has impacted his journey as a healer. 
Trevor also explores the therapeutic potential of psychedelic experiences, the dynamics of embodying both masculine and feminine energies, and the Hakomi principle of organicity - emphasizing the natural, self-organizing processes that guide personal and collective healing through deep, empathetic connections.
The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

LINKS
* Trevor’s Official Website & Upcoming Events
* Trevor in IG
ALSO, DON’T MISS:
I’m hosting my next in-person men’s retreat Awakening The Wild Erotic July 26-28 on Vancouver Island. This is a very powerful ritual weekend not to miss. Get the full details & apply here.
As well, Iron John: A Mythic Story About Men is my re-released 7 week online course now available for all genders.
If you’re a man and want to work with me directly, Book A Discovery Call here.
SHOW NOTES
* Trevor's Transition: Trevor describes being in a liminal period in Calgary, Alberta, experiencing significant changes and many unknowns in his life, from relationships to work.
* Sense of Possibility: Despite the uncertainties, Trevor feels a strong sense of possibility and potential unfolding, trusting the process even without complete clarity.
* Chiron Return: Trevor is approaching his 51st birthday, marking his Chiron return, a significant astrological event related to the wounded healer archetype, bringing energetic shifts and introspection.
* Therapy as Exploration: Trevor and Ian discuss the nature of therapy, emphasizing it as a process of creating a safe and brave container to explore underlying frameworks of perception and reality, rather than just seeking to fix or soothe symptoms.
* Therapy Metaphor: Trevor uses the metaphor of a house to explain therapy, involving both significant renovations and ongoing maintenance tasks to continually adjust and improve one's relationship with life.
* Social Perceptions of Therapy: They discuss societal perceptions of therapy, highlighting how it is often seen as a weakness or a sign of being broken, and the importance of shifting this view towards understanding therapy as a skill for being human.
* Impact of Childhood Experiences: Trevor reflects on how his upbringing, particularly the lack of emotional support and reconciliation after punishment, influenced his path into therapy and his approach to helping others build healthier relationships.
* Emergence and Mindfulness: Trevor explains the concept of emergence in therapy, where by shifting focus and creating space around experiences, new possibilities and ways of relating can spontaneously arise.
* Psychedelic Therapy: The discussion touches on the rise of psychedelic therapy, with Trevor highlighting the benefits of non-ordinary states of consciousness in creating deeper therapeutic relationships and transformative experiences.
* Shape-shifting in Therapy: Trevor talks about the role of the therapist as a shape-shifter, adapting to the needs of the client and resonating with their experiences to facilitate deeper healing and transformation.
* Unity and Differentiation: The concept of unity in therapy is explo

Access The Iron John course here.
A few years ago, I was invited to steward an online offering for the Rowe Center, based in Massachusetts.
With the passing of Robert Bly, esteemed poet, activist, and father of the mythopoetic men's movement, I opted to weave a 7 week journey revisiting his seminal book Iron John, inviting an array of special guests to join me. The roster includes Stephen Jenksinon, Sophie Strand, Ramon Parish, Michael Gay, Philip Folsom, Shay Au Lait & Stefanos Sifandos.
The course was a big success, and since then, I’ve always wanted to re-release it for more folk of all genders to access the insights & experience.
I’m pleased to announce the course is now available.
A few more words about Robert Bly & the story:
As named, he is perhaps most well known for his retelling of the classic German fairy tale, which illuminated the inner world of men in such a way that seemed long absent from modern Western culture. This longing to be gathered into the mysteries of men and manhood, of a mythic masculinity, drew much contention upon its release in the early 90's, and has reverberated to this day.
It wasn't until I watched the documentary '1000 Years of Joy' that I grasped the larger portrait of a man who had already amassed a respectful body of work before he turned to culture and gender. My love for Mr. Bly grew tremendously, as a blazing example of what could lie ahead in the later half of life, a glimpse of elderhood to a troubled time.
Note: I also interviewed the films director Hayden Reiss which I’ve included at the bottom. Whether or not you’ve seen the documentary, it’s delightful to hear his stories of meeting & collaborating with Bly.
In 2022, the spiral has come around as a new generation discovers Iron John alongside an urgent crisis of masculinity. What might Iron John offer in the wake of #metoo, Artificial Intelligence, post-truth, multi-generational trauma, and biospheric breakdown?Despite some contemporary references that are dated, the book holds up as a vital to the conversation of manhood as it did in its day.
At the time, Bly was criticized by some feminists for "blaming women" for men’s troubles - and yet, that has never been accurate. He writes "This doesn't mean that the women are doing something wrong: I think the problem is more that the older men are not really doing their job."
That's not to say there aren't blindspots (there are), and thankfully a number of additional perspectives have added to the polyphony of emerging masculinities.Here’s my interview with Hadyn Reiss, the director of the Bly documentary 1000 Years of Joy. I highly recommend viewing the full film.


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My guest today is Nicolas Canon.
Nicolas is a seasoned relationship coach who has deeply intertwined his insights in love with walking the plant medicine path in his homeland of Colombia.
Over the past decade, he has dedicated himself to helping individuals and couples not only deepen their relationships but also find greater self-awareness and spiritual alignment.  In this episode, he shares of his relocation as a youth to Toronto, Canada where he ran a tattoo shop and first worked as a coach - after many challenging & toxic relationships, he was guided to embark on a vision quest in the south of France. These experiences dramatically shaped his approach to life and work, including the crucible of marriage.
Finally, Nicolas reveals his insights into "the language of men” and how women can enhance communication with their male partners, deepen emotional connection, and unlock the potential of evolutionary partnership.
The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. http://themythicmasculine.substack.com
LINKS
* Nicolas Canon - Official Website*Nicolas on IG
SHOW NOTES
* Nicholas shares his recent return to Toronto after spending significant time in Colombia, reflecting on his emotional, spiritual, and physical journey.
* He discusses the profound impact of his experiences with indigenous shamans and ayahuasca ceremonies in Colombia, emphasizing the importance of spiritual integration.
* Reflecting on his past in Toronto, Nicholas discusses owning a tattoo shop and navigating a lifestyle marked by hedonism.
* He opens up about a toxic relationship and personal crises that led him back to Colombia for recovery and family support.
* Nicholas highlights the challenge of living between two worlds—the traditional wisdom of Colombia and the modern, bustling life in Toronto—emphasizing his role as a cultural bridge.
* He shares insights from his ayahuasca ceremonies, including advice to pause and reflect on various aspects of life.
* Nicholas reflects on his emotional grounding and support, particularly from his wife, amid his spiritual journey and transitions.
* He explores the concept of balance and integration, seeking to merge spiritual insights with Western lifestyle and societal expectations.
* The conversation delves into the complexity of personal growth and transformation, navigating between cultural identities and spiritual awakening.
* Nicholas discusses his evolving perspective on relationships, emphasizing the importance of healthy dynamics, mutual respect, and emotional connection.
* He shares insights into what makes a healthy relationship, highlighting communication, trust, shared values, and individual growth.


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My guest today is Andrea Villa, a scholar, a mentor of men, a restorer of old practices and languages of the sacred.
He has spent several years studying male initiation with indigenous peoples from India to West Africa to Native America, developing a unique understanding of gender as intelligence. His passion is to support men in regaining their erotic agency in love & relationships.
In today's episode, we delve into the profound realms of Eros as a multifaceted force that transcends mere physical attraction, touching upon the realms of the spiritual, the creative, and the deeply personal aspects of human experience. Andrea shares his journey of being undone by Eros, highlighting its crucial role in our connection to the world. He describes the important differences between masculine and feminine energies, and advocates for the significance of adoration and devotion in the dance of partnership.
Andrea also introduces the concept of erotic discipline, a practice of staying present with beauty to transcend the visible and touch the essence of our being. And he references Dante’s Divine Comedy, the monumental epic from the Middle Ages, and the poet’s adoration of Beatrice as a model for a love that can elevate our spirits to the divine.
I’d love to hear what you think of this episode! Leave your comments below.
Heads up: I’m inviting Andrew to offer an upcoming webinar in the next month. Stay tuned for details.
LINKS
* Official Website - Andrea Villa
ALSO, BEGINNING THIS THURSDAY:
There’s only a few days left to join the very first online cohort of The Deep Masculine, a 3 month journey for men.
I wanted to offer further insight behind the inspiration for this offering, with its roots in the soil of a fairy tale:
First published in 1990, Robert Bly's "Iron John: A Book About Men" is a key work in the mythopoetic men's movement.
The book rides the story of Iron John, a fairy tale collected by the Brothers Grimm, as a framework to explore masculinity and men's issues. Throughout the book, Bly discusses the concept of "the deep masculine," a term he uses to describe an essential, positive aspect of mature masculinity that has largely been lost in modern society - due to cultural poverty, lack of rites of passage, and the absence of positive male mentorship.
I've spoken on this thread in multiple conversations, including one with poet & author Sophie Strand in "Revisiting The Wild Man."​
Mythopoetic men's work grew as a response to these challenges - and many men & organizations have picked up the torch from the first generation and the task they bequeathed to us.
Now, it's also true the Wild Man archetype has become overly fetishized in many men's work spaces, with an emphasis on pushing back against the "domesticated life." (Think Tyler Durden in Fight Club, or Lester Burham in American Beauty).
And yet, the Wild Man remains a mysterious and alluring presence for a deeper invitation into a lovership with life.
After almost 5 years of inquiry, alongside mentors, elders & many conversations under The Mythic Masculine podcast, as well as numerous months in the creative cauldron, The Deep Masculine journey brings together the most effective elements we could muster for igniting the hearts & souls of men.
We begin April 11.


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