The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon – a podcast

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The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon – a podcast

12-step recovery for those of us who love alcoholics or addicts. We share our experience, strength, and hope as we use the principles of the Al-Anon program in our lives. We talk openly and honestly about the problems and challenges as we face alcoholism and addiction in our friends and relatives. We share the tools and solutions we have found that let us live a life that is serene, happy, and free, even when the alcoholic or addict is still drinking or using.

  1. 11 NOV.

    Path to Recovery: Embracing Step Four – 420

    Our recovery journey requires courage and self-reflection, especially when we encounter Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Eric and Spencer relate our experiences, insights, and the profound transformation that accompanies Step 4, as described in the reading from the book “How Al Anon Works.” Taking a moral inventory may seem daunting, but it serves a critical purpose in our recovery journey. To start, many of us might find it easy to list the admirable qualities of our friends and loved ones, yet struggle to identify the same about ourselves. Alcoholism's lasting impact on self-esteem often leaves us feeling inadequate. Step 4 provides an opportunity to uncover our fine qualities that are buried under self-doubt and fear. Facing Our Fears and Finding Strength Our fear of examining our shortcomings is natural. The inventory is not meant to be a free-for-all of self-criticism but a balanced assessment of who we are. Just as a toy store owner takes stock to balance inventory, we must assess what we have in abundance and what we lack in our character and behaviors. By beginning with our strengths, we lay a foundation that makes it easier to face and accept the less desirable aspects without judgment. It can be a Collaborative Effort We both found it invaluable to join a group when working Step 4. Facing such a comprehensive task alone can be overwhelming. Sharing in a supportive environment not only helps stay committed but also reinforces the understanding that we are not alone in our struggles. Hearing others share sheds light on our shared experiences and provides multiple perspectives. The First Three Steps Lay the Groundwork Steps 1, 2, and 3 lay essential groundwork for Step 4. Developing a strong spiritual foundation makes it easier to approach our inventory fearlessly and honestly. Without recognizing the presence of a loving higher power, the purpose of this inventory could easily become misguided and self-destructive. Positive Change Through Self-Reflection Each step we take is aimed at positive change. Step 4 encourages us to observe ourselves without illusions, addressing unresolved issues, and making conscious choices for growth. A searching moral inventory, when approached with the right mindset and preparation, offers incredible opportunities for personal development. The Path to Recovery and Wholeness Finally, Step 4 should not be rushed or overlooked. It provides the clarity needed for the path we choose to walk. As the Cheshire Cat said, “If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.” Thus, we see the importance of understanding our current state in order to choose our future path wisely. In summary, although initially intimidating, Step 4 emerges as one of the most enlightening parts of our recovery journey. Embracing it, preparing for it, and approaching it with a group can transform fear into freedom and self-doubt into self-love. Through our moral inventory, we lay the blueprint for progress towards a wholehearted, content, and balanced life. Readings and Links We read from How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 8, the section titled “Step 4”. We also talked about the books Paths to Recovery and Blueprint for Progress. Both of these Al-Anon CAL books provide a process for working Step 4.

    1 h 1 min

  2. 21 OCT.

    Secular Healing: Working Step Three – 419

    Approaching the Twelve Steps from a secular viewpoint can present challenges, particularly with Step Three, which traditionally involves turning one's will and life over to the care of God. Spencer and Marilyn explore how we have navigated these waters while remaining respectful to their own beliefs as atheists or agnostics. Founding a Secular Al Anon Meeting The conversation begins with Marilyn sharing her experience in founding a secular Al Anon meeting, named “Any Faith or None.” This group has grown rapidly, starting during the pandemic and expanding to multiple weekly meetings due to popular demand. The group welcomes those of any religious or spiritual belief or none, carefully avoiding religious language that can be triggering for individuals with a history of religious abuse. Interpreting Step Three Step Three traditionally reads, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Both Spencer and Marilyn share how they have personally reinterpreted this step to fit their non-religious perspectives. For Marilyn, the concept of “care” rather than “control” was a pivotal revelation, allowing her to embrace the love and support found within her Al Anon community without assigning it a divine source. They relate how they have found language that works for them, such as using “Gift of Desperation” or “Group of Dear Ones” instead of referencing God. Emphasizing personal understanding allows members to navigate recovery while maintaining their own beliefs. The Power of Unconditional Love and Acceptance Marilyn highlights the transformative power of discovering unconditional love within Al Anon, which allowed her to develop self-acceptance and trust in the process of recovery. This understanding ties into the broader notion of making a decision to change—a central tenet of Step Three—and finding safety and support among fellow members. Navigating Religious Trauma and Acceptance The journey of interpreting Step Three extends beyond individual understanding to include navigating potential religious trauma or authority-related triggers. Marilyn shares her realization of separating her father from the concept of a higher power, which reinforces the importance of personal clarity and autonomy within the program. This clarity was crucial in Marilyn's decision to remain in Al Anon, as it allowed her to find meaning and healing without feeling restricted by traditional religious language. Conclusion Marilyn and Spencer's journey underscores the importance of respecting diverse beliefs within recovery spaces. By creating environments that embrace varied interpretations of the Twelve Steps, secular groups like “Any Faith or None” provide vital support for individuals seeking recovery from alcoholism's impact without compromising their personal beliefs. This evolving approach emphasizes inclusivity and personal understanding, allowing individuals to find healing in a manner that resonates with them. Their stories offer encouragement to others facing similar challenges, reaffirming that recovery is a dynamic and deeply personal path, where the language of spirituality can be adapted to support each individual's unique journey. Readings and Links Marilyn read from A Little Time for Myself (Al-Anon's newest daily reader), p. 66 (March 6). We also mentioned several other Al-Anon books: a href="https://therecoveryshow.

    1 h 11 min

  3. 21 SEPT.

    Navigating Retirement with Recovery – 418

    Retirement can be an exciting yet challenging phase of life. It brings forward new experiences and demands a blend of anticipation and adaptation. The principles and tools garnered through our journeys of recovery can play a pivotal role in navigating these changes. Mary H. shares insights into her retirement process and how recovery has helped her face the associated challenges. The Unexpected Path to Retirement Mary's journey began with mandatory retirement at age 65 from her long-term position at a company. Initially, she returned to work full-time as an emeritus employee. However, after a couple cycles of work and retirement, she finally embraced a more relaxed part-time, mostly remote, work arrangement. Mary reflects on the reality check retirement brings: “If my company didn’t have a mandated retirement, I would probably work until the day I dropped dead,” she admits. Redefining Work and Embracing New Hobbies While Mary looked forward to retiring, the transition wasn’t seamless. She envisaged a life filled with hobbies and travel but found herself facing unexpected disinterest in activities she once loved. “I found a complete disinterest in my hobbies that had previously been delightful,” she shares. However, through recovery efforts and discussions with her sponsor, Mary rediscovered a balance. She bought and refurbished a travel trailer, which injected joy and novelty into her life. She also enjoys kayaking.  Financial Adjustments and Spending Habits Another significant aspect of retirement is financial management. Moving from a saving-centric mindset to spending has been a complicated transition for Mary. With the help of a financial counselor, Mary established a clear budget and understanding of their financial capacities. “Have someone who is not emotionally involved, help you figure out your finances,” she recommends. The Search for a New Home Mary and her husband currently reside in a large, old Victorian home that demands considerable maintenance, prompting them to seek a more manageable living situation. By applying recovery principles, particularly the traditions, they are navigating the complex decision-making process. “We wrote all those things out, starting with what we could afford to spend,” Mary notes, emphasizing the importance of clear criteria and open communication. Health, End-of-Life Planning, and Continued Recovery Commitment As they age, health issues and end-of-life concerns become more prominent. Mary stresses the necessity of planning and being prepared for all eventualities, advocating for detailed and thoughtful preparation akin to how her in-laws had everything meticulously planned. Throughout her retirement journey, Mary underscores the critical importance of staying engaged with the recovery community. She urges those facing retirement to stay connected with their recovery programs, noting how crucial the support of her recovery network has been in navigating both the expected and unexpected facets of retirement. Conclusion Retirement is more than a cessation of work; it's a transformative phase that requires a blend of financial prudence, emotional agility, and active engagement in recovery practices. By sharing her story, Mary H. offers not just a blueprint but a heartfelt reminder of the continuous journey of self-discovery and healing that retirement offers—invoking the true spirit of recovery in every step of the way. “Keep close to your recovery community,” Mary advises, highlighting the ongoing support and strength deriv...

    1 h 1 min

  4. 9 SEPT.

    Creating a Personal Higher Power in Recovery – 417

    Recovery can challenge us to transform our spiritual and religious understandings and underpinnings. For many, especially those emerging from rigid religious backgrounds, rediscovering or reimagining one's higher power becomes a transformative step. In this episode, Sara delves into her personal journey of redefining her higher power, lending an inspiring narrative to those struggling with similar paths in recovery. Overcoming a Fearful God Spencer: You wrote to me and said you wanted to talk about, as you put it, overcoming the God that was given to you from organized religion and finding the freedom to create a God of your own understanding, so that you are able to fully turn your will over to a higher power that you love and trust. Is that a fair summary? Sara S.: Yes, that's exactly how my newly created higher power has helped me more fully put Step 3 into my life. Sara’s initial experience was with a God formed by organized religion—a figure that was angry, judgmental, and fear-inducing. This “given God,” as Spencer referred to it, created a tumultuous inner life driven by guilt and fear. She felt compelled to be perfect and feared repercussions for any misstep, which profoundly affected her spirituality and recovery journey. Discovering a New Understanding with Steps Two and Three Recovery through Al-Anon presented a pivotal shift for Sara, particularly with Steps Two and Three, which focus on turning over one's will and life to the care of God as understood individually. For the first ten years, Sara white-knuckled through this process, holding on to a God she distrusted. It was only after distancing herself from organized religion and absorbing diverse perspectives in meetings that she began to creatively redefine her higher power. Sara S.: I listened and I heard a lot of things in meetings about people having a female God or nature or the meetings or people, animals. You know, we are told we can create our own God of our understanding. So I decided I was going to do it. Sara's initial attempts to envision a new higher power led her to create a God named Blake. Over time, Blake evolved into a composite higher power, drawing characteristics from four influential and supportive individuals in her life, resulting in a panel of higher powers that made her feel celebrated and adored. The Impact of Trust in a Higher Power on Recovery Fostering trust and acceptance with her new higher power significantly altered Sara's recovery journey. She began to feel more relaxed, supported, and secure, allowing her to engage with the steps more deeply and authentically. Sara S.: I am fully willing to turn over the care of my life to this group of higher powers. I don't ever feel afraid. I talk to them when I wake up all day long. If I need to give something up, it's very easy now. Sara's story is a powerful testament to the possibilities within recovery. By courageously redefining her higher power and embracing the Al-Anon principles, she found a spirituality that fosters trust, love, and profound personal growth.  Readings and Links During our conversation, we referred to these Al-Anon books: * How Al-Anon Works, described by Spencer as “the basic text of Al-Anon.” * Reaching for Personal Freedom, a workbook for studying how the Steps, Traditions and Concepts of Service can apply to our personal lives.

    41 min

  5. 1 SEPT.

    Letting Go and Trusting: Exploring Step Three – 416

    Step Three states: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” We’ll be delving into this step, discussing its essence and sharing personal experiences. Step Three comes after acknowledging the hope for a saner life (Step Two). This step is about making a definitive choice to turn to a higher power for guidance. It is a decision step, where we decide to let go of control. For many, this step feels like the hardest because it challenges our instinct to manage everything ourselves. Spencer's Perspective I see the essence of Step Three as deciding to choose a saner way of life through a power greater than ourselves. Initially, I struggled to understand what turning my will and life over to a higher power meant, especially with my negative preconceived notions of God. However, the concept of a personalized higher power provided me the freedom to move forward without having to accept a predefined image. Mary’s Perspective I also had a complex relationship with my higher power, influenced heavily by others’ teachings and fears. Al-Anon’s concept that our understanding of a higher power is personal and flexible was initially puzzling but eventually liberating for me. This flexibility has become one of the most valuable aspects of my recovery journey. It allows us to accept various definitions of a higher power, contributing to our collective wisdom. What is this decision? The decision of Step Three is, in part, about letting go of the illusion of control over the uncontrollable. Letting go of the need to control an alcoholic's drinking or any other situation beyond our influence is a significant part of this step. Spiritual Flexibility Our program emphasizes that regardless of our religious background, each member can define their higher power in a way that works best for them. This step calls us to commit our worries, dreams, and relationships into the care of that higher power. Mary recognized that letting go of specific expectations, particularly concerning her marriage, was necessary for actual progress. Acceptance allowed her to experience a transformed relationship without the burden of unrealistic control. The Path Forward Even after making the decision, the actual practice of Step Three is an ongoing process. It requires continuous surrender and a readiness to adapt. It's okay to step back and renew this decision repeatedly. Ultimately, deciding to turn our will and lives over to a higher power places us in much more capable hands. It provides a sense of trust and the realization that even if things don’t go as planned, we will be cared for. Readings and Links We read from How Al-Anon Works, pp, 49-51, Chapter 8, The Twelve Steps, the section titled Step 3. Spencer also mentioned the book Paths to Recovery. Upcoming topics We are working our way through the 12 Steps. What has been your experience the steps? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from the Show Rihanna – Lift Me Up Billie Eilish – What Was I Made For?

    1 h 7 min

  6. 20 AOÛT

    Finding Hope and Sanity: Exploring Step Two – 415

    Spencer opens the discussion by reiterating Step Two: “[We] came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Bruce notes that their discussion is a reflection of their personal experiences.. Personal Narratives of Insanity and Restoration Both Spencer and Bruce share their personal stories, highlighting their past struggles and how they found a path to sanity. Bruce recalls the powerful impact of realizing his own insanity – living repeatedly with unrealistic expectations from his alcoholic partner. He shares how actionable feedback from a coworker played a crucial role in his self-awareness and subsequent change. Spencer resonates with this, recounting his own experiences of anger and frustration and how they manifested not just at home but also at work. Finding Serenity Through Fellowship They discuss the transformative power of fellowships like Al-Anon. Spencer talks about how attending meetings, hearing others' stories, and engaging with the Al-Anon literature provided him with a sense of relief and direction. Bruce echoes these sentiments, sharing his initial misunderstanding that Al-Anon would offer tools to control his qualifier, only to find out that it led to his own healing and understanding. What is a Higher Power, anyway? Their conversation explores the concept of a ‘power greater than ourselves' and its significance in the recovery process. This higher power doesn't have to be defined traditionally. Bruce finds support and empathy in various forms of community, acknowledging that serenity and sanity can come from unexpected places. Spencer points out that for many, this ‘power' may start as the collective wisdom of a supportive group rather than a divine entity. Final Thoughts Step Two asks us to open our hearts to the possibility that a power greater than ourselves can bring us to sanity. Whether that power is found within the support of a fellowship, through spiritual belief, or in the wisdom of collective experience, it holds the potential to guide us towards a healthier and more serene way of living. Recovery is not a solitary path; it is a journey enriched by the supportive presence of others and the belief in something greater than our individual struggles. Readings and Links We read from How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 8, Step 2 section. In response to a listener question, Spencer also mentioned the book Paths to Recovery. Upcoming topics We are continuing to work through the 12 Steps. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from the Show U2 – Running to Stand Still Depeche Mode – Blasphemous Rumours Dream Theater – Barstool Warrior

    55 min

  7. 8 AOÛT

    Surviving Alex: A Mother’s Story of Love, Loss, and Addiction – 414

    I had the privilege of speaking with Pat R., the author of the heartfelt and powerful book “Surviving Alex: A Mother's Story of Love, Loss, and Addiction.” This story may resonate with you if you are grappling with the complex combination of mental illness and addiction. A Mother's Heartfelt Journey Pat's journey began with her son, Alex, who faced overwhelming challenges with both mental illness and addiction. Tragically, Alex did not survive his illnesses, but Pat has bravely taken her pain and turned it into a beacon of hope and understanding for others.  What Pat reveals in her book is not just a personal story but a broader critique of how our society handles addiction and mental illness. Pat eloquently argues for a shift from punitive measures towards harm reduction and compassionate care. Her personal narrative underscores the need for systemic change—how the criminalization of drugs and the lack of comprehensive, compassionate treatment pathways often lead to devastating outcomes. A central point of the conversation was the critical need for time in treating addiction and mental health issues. Pat cited research indicating that a significant percentage of individuals with substance use disorders improve over time with appropriate support. She advocated for longer-term, comprehensive care rather than the brief, often ineffective stints typical of many insurance-covered programs. Pat described her family's struggle with Alex's addiction as a “carousel ride from hell,” capturing the relentless and chaotic nature of their experience. She expressed frustration with the limited and often ineffective treatment options available, emphasizing the need for multiple pathways to recovery. Not every solution fits all, and recognizing this can ensure more people receive the help they need. Counterfactual Inquiry and Harm Reduction In an excerpt from the epilogue of her book, Pat explores a counterfactual inquiry, imagining a world where harm reduction strategies were more accessible to Alex. She postulates that such strategies might have allowed Alex to manage his addiction in a safer environment, potentially saving his life. This section serves as a critical reflection on how current systems fail those in desperate need of alternative recovery options and supportive environments. Finding Hope and Community Despite the pain and tragedy, Pat has found ways to channel her grief into advocacy and hope. She speaks passionately about the need for a supportive community and the importance of multiple recovery pathways. Organizations like Mobilize Recovery have provided her with a sense of belonging and purpose. Spencer closed the conversation by asking Pat what advice she might have for families currently facing similar struggles. Pat emphasized recognizing risk factors, understanding that impulsivity and risk-taking are typical behaviors, and the importance of early intervention and comprehensive support systems. Resources and Further Reading For those seeking more information and support, Pat recommended visiting her website at patroos.com, where she continually updates resources. The book “Surviving Alex: A Mother's Story of Love, Loss, and Addiction” not only provides an intimate look at Pat's journey but also serves as a guide and comfort to others facing similar challenges. Pat mentioned a couple of resources directly: the organization Mobilize Recovery and a newsletter, a href="https://momsforallpaths.substack.

    1 h 13 min

  8. 4 JUIL.

    Step One: Finding Strength in Surrender – 413

    Spencer and Nora explore Step One of Al-Anon, which is about admitting powerlessness over alcohol and recognizing the unmanageability in one's life. They read from the book ‘How Al-Anon Works' and discuss how their lives have been impacted by others' alcoholism. Both hosts share personal anecdotes on their journey to accepting their lack of control and finding serenity through Al-Anon principles. The discussion aims to provide insights into the struggles and rewards of embracing Step One, with a highlight on the hope and relief that comes with surrendering illusions of control.  Readings and Links We read from How Al-Anon Works, chapter 8, pp. 45-47. A listener mentioned episode 301 Geneviève – Together we can make it. In listener feedback, there was some discussion of Blueprint for Progress, the Al-Anon 4th Step workbook, along with Paths to Recovery and Reaching for Personal Freedom, which are study guides for the 12 Steps, Traditions, and Concepts. Upcoming topics We are continuing to study the 12 Steps. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from the Show Van Morrison – The Mystery The Flaming Lips – Feeling Yourself Disintegrate Alabama Shakes – You Ain't Alone

    1 h 6 min
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À propos

12-step recovery for those of us who love alcoholics or addicts. We share our experience, strength, and hope as we use the principles of the Al-Anon program in our lives. We talk openly and honestly about the problems and challenges as we face alcoholism and addiction in our friends and relatives. We share the tools and solutions we have found that let us live a life that is serene, happy, and free, even when the alcoholic or addict is still drinking or using.

Informations

  • Création
    The Recovery Show
  • Années d’activité
    2013 - 2024
  • Épisodes
    428
  • Classification
    Tous publics
  • Copyright
    Copyright © The Recovery Show 2013

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