E51: Say No Without Feeling Guilty

"Say No Without Feeling Guilty" is our last re-release for the summer, before we get back to producing new episodes! We've had an amazing couple of months off, and we're also so excited to get back to regularly producing new content to help support you, no matter where you are in your recovery journey.

In this episode, we chat with Antje, Kelsey, and Sonia about overcoming people pleasing and learning how to say no without the guilt. It’s easy to want to keep everyone else happy, but we do so the expense of our own happiness. We agree to things we don’t want to, out of fear that we will disappoint others, and the result is that we disappoint ourselves.

“I was everything to everybody and nobody to myself.”

Some of the points and topics we cover include:

• Over-explaining ourselves
• Finding out who really supports our recovery
• Honoring ourselves by making our own decisions
• Choosing authenticity over meeting expectations
• Allowing others to say no to us, also
• Not apologizing unnecessarily
• Getting angry at ourselves for letting others walk all over us
• Fear of disappointing others (and then realizing that’s their problem.)
• Start with easy conversations to practice for the hard ones
• Demonstrating to our kids and others that saying no is okay
• Learning to honor ourselves, our feelings, and our wants
• Learning to sit with discomfort
• Learning to avoid engaging in toxic conversations and behaviors
• Dealing with the consequences of saying yes when we didn’t want to
• Pausing before responding to allow ourselves time to think
• Valuing our time enough to say no

"Saying yes when we really want to say no leads to resentment."

Meet our guests:

Kelsey started a TikTok account to share her sober journey and inspire others. Since she started, she’s gained 23,000 followers. You can find her at https://www.tiktok.com/@kelseygoessober and on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kelsey_sorensen_/

Sonia is the creator and owner of EverBlume, a recovery resource that places members in small support groups based on their specific needs and situations. For more information, visit joineverblume.com or visit Sonia’s Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/joineverblume/

Antje first discovered drinking as a way to “fix” her eating disorder. She thought that drinking was more acceptable than binging and purging all of her meals. When drinking grew more and more out of control, she reluctantly considered sobriety in January of 2022. Soon after, she found connection and support in an online sober community. She is so glad to that she took that first, scary step and gave sobriety a chance.

Keep in touch!

throughtheglassrecovery.com

throughtheglassrecovery@gmail.com

Instagram – @through_the_glass_recovery