Warm mug of phantom poetry episode 16: poetry month part 1

What I miss I dreamed of you last night the way you used to be, the way you felt, the way you seemed, on the outside, never who you really were, on the inside, you are so much different in my dream, almost like, how you used to be, at the same, time better than who you ever were, I dreamed I could pick you apart, and then put the pieces back together, and we could start over, but we don't even talk anymore, we don't even see each other, I don't even know if you're alive or not, I hope you're okay, I hope you're good, but at the same time I wish I didn't care, I wish I didn't still think about you, I wished, that when we stopped conversations, that my life stopped having you in it, in my head, but it didn't, I didn't, I never stopped, I think what sucks is that the world keeps spinning, and I'm spinning in an entirely different direction than the earth, and I get dizzy easily, from all the thoughts clustering in my head, I don't know how to stop them, I obsess over them, you used to silence them, with the simplicity that was you, I think that's what I miss most, not you persay, but the silence you gave to me, the quiet, I know you weren't good for me, and I know I wasn't good for you, I know the two of us together were thid toxic Force, we just drove each other crazy, but I do miss you I know you don't care about I know you won't even see this, I know you don't miss me. But I still miss the idea of you and I don't know what to do April 14 . For these next 2 poem the prompt I chose to do came from 2 separate final sentances the first comes from the April edition of poetry magazine the part The part that makes me want to close my ears and run away and buy unsettling me so profoundly convinces me of her Divinity her demand that I recognize in myself the humanity she sees and she summons us to see as her Offspring and her dwelling place as love is revealed Love There's a part that wants us to close our ears and run away run so far that we will not know how to return back, We will forget who we are We will forget where we came from And we will never return and we think this is all well and good until we miss her until we miss the world until we miss all that came before us all that once existed And she in her beauty and divinity, in all her grace and pleasure She will call to us She'll so profoundly convince us to recognize ourselves and the humanity she sees so present in us. She summons us to see, as her Offspring, and her dwelling place, the love slowly being revealed that we tried to hide away from. She will love, it is all she knows how to do, she will love us even when we curse the name of love, She will love us even when we cannot love ourselves, She will hold us when there is no one to hold us, She the grace and beauty this invisible force We do not see her But she is there And Sometimes we do not want her But she is there from afar she is lonely And she only craves to make us happy To hurt or the harm was never Love's intension, Though we may believe it to be, We want to close off We want to run away we want to forget her beauty and her grace her pleasures that she gives to us We want to see no more of her and forget ourselves Love is in her dwelling place She continues to call, continues to reach out, continues to wait She has not given up on us So we can not give up on love. The Other quote is from Circe by Madeline miller the final sentance of that book was I lift the brimming bowl to my lips and drink Esteem I lift the brimming bowl to my lips and drink, I inhale with each sip. I take every last drop in. Then I lower the bowl and smile. For so long I was afraid to even hold this bowl To even look at it Now it's in my hands Now it's empty I have done what I thought I'd never do. I have taken a sip. lt has felt wonderous, beautiful, I breathe in Finally, A sigh of relief, Of thanks, I didn't think I was worthy of taking the sip Of drinking in the whole bowl