The Silent Suicide

My mental health has been awful for three years and I have had many suicidal thoughts before but when I started listening to this podcast it made me think about how much I matter and that it’s okay not to be okay and that I’m not alone in this and that it’s important to ask for help and that my interests matter and that I’m safe and again thank you for this podcast it’s helped me during a lot of my lowest moments so thank you again and I hope you are doing well and that anyone who’s considering suicide needs to know that they are important and that they matter.

Sadly he was one of the 10% who successfully ended his life Jan 2023. He had fallen into an escalating downward spiral of sexual addiction. He was having a conversation with his “girlfriend” and accidentally sent a text to me that was meant for her. 2 months later he was called into a meeting with the head of HR at his job. The next day he shot himself. I was the one who found him. Within 2 weeks after his death, I began to learn of his sexual addiction. He had lost control and had crossed lines at work. Originally I just thought he was meeting the woman who’s text he accidentally sent to me. Then I learned he was just trying to meet other women in general. He had profiles set up on multiple sex sites. As heartbreaking as it all has been, I ultimately learned his obsession was being with both women and men. The trauma, the pain, the loss, the grief… I can’t even begin to describe it, there are no words. Today was one of my angry days. Listening to the podcast discussing Borderline Personality Disorder helped my anger go away (at least for today) and helped me focus on the truth of his mental illness. He would not go to therapy. He was afraid his employer would use it against him. (He had a clearance and worked with the government, his medical record could be their business.) Ironic, he didn’t want to lose his job so he went out of his way to hide BPD, yet his sexual addiction had become so out of control, he lost his job. Mental illness needs so much more attention, specifically BPD. Thank you for your Silent Suicide podcast.

I was and still am diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder as of 2022. Before BED took over my life I just had a baby was diagnosed with stage 1a ovarian cancer (blessed) to have caught it early and had a total hysterectomy in 2020. I was doing fantastic losing weight i was stable on keto and working out! Everything started going down hill in October 2021. I started to develop anxiety and depression. I couldn’t focus and by early 2022 gained all the weight back and more. I couldn’t focus on anything my professional career was suffering. People were noticing my lack of attendance in local places or events. I am being medicated and it helps but i still have one or two instances a week. The mental instability I have developed because of this is so real and haunting. Your detailed explanation that this is not a choice made me break down. I have been told so many times to just stop eating so much or eat healthier. You stayed in another episode that people who commit suicide not all the time want to die but they’re in pain . A lot of time they just want to stop hurting. Just like any mental illness it’s not something that you just want to bring up to someone because most don’t understand unless the person is experiencing it. I pray for anyone who has this. Thank you for having this episode it really impacted me <3

This podcast is so informative. Very detailed information on mental health. It’s a must add to the playlist if you have anyone you know going through these conditions. The interviews are fantastic and the audio is superb. Looking forward to more episodes.