How to Be Fine

I’ve been following this podcast for years and I love every iteration this show has taken. I adore Kristen and Jolenta. Their thoughtfulness and vulnerability and senses of humor with their lives has gotten me through many tough situations. (Nursing school, my parents getting a divorce as an adult, my partner’s chronic illness, and the pandemic, to name a few). I just moved and this season about friendship is being so helpful and fun as I strike out on yet another adventure! P.S. I just learned that they BOTH use handkerchiefs. So cute and charming.

...at least gay men do. Sixteen years ago, my best friend of 12 years ghosted me, at the time I needed him the most. I could not process the fact that he could so easily cast off a 12-year formative kinship that had seen us through the best times of our lives. To make matters worse, he became close friends with a friend I had brought into our friend group, but neither was particularly fond of one another. I was devastated. I think that I had been waiting for the length of time that we were no longer friends to surpass the length of times that we were friends before I could heal. I'm now four years beyond that time, and finally able to enjoy my memories of us together without feeling the colossal loss. We had been growing apart and I can see how our breakup was likely inevitable anyway, but at the time it was WORSE than any romantic breakup I had ever experienced, simply because of our commitment to being each others' ride or die. Fascinating to hear of others' experiences.

I’m a fan of By the Book and am now budgeting to afford the new paywall. I totally understand and agree that these wonderful, talented hosts deserve to be compensated fairly for the awesome work they do. At the same time, this will be my most expensive single podcast subscription, if I understand the pricing tiers correctly, and slightly more expensive than a few of my streaming/audio/reader subscriptions as well. I’m usually quick to jump on my fave creators’ Patreons; this one is just a bit steep. But also well worth it, I’m sure! ☺️

While How to Be Fine and By the Book were interesting concepts with good topics, I had to unsubscribe today. Its become as cringy as listening to an insecure 15 year old high school theater girl that wants to look “fun” so she laughs extra loud while looking around to make sure she’s getting attention… and you feel utterly embarrassed for her. The final straw was a recent episode where one of the steps was ‘stop being performative on social media.’ Given the HUGELY performative nature of the show and host’s personality (mainly just the one) listening to them talk about how well they did not being performative was just too meta irritating. Episode suggestion- Insecure attention-seekers and the friends that enable their behavior.