What Teens Are Saying Behind Closed Doors with Dr. Jessica Peck

Welcome to the Love Where You Are podcast! 

In today’s episode, Somer is joined with Dr. Jessica Peck, also known as Dr Nurse Momma. 

Jessica has been a pediatric nurse practitioner for twenty years. A native Texan, she is a clinical professor at the Baylor University Louise Herrington School of Nursing as well as president of the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners. She especially loves encouraging parents in her clinical practice and equipping them to build healthy relationships with their children. 

Jessica and I became fast friends as we sat down to discuss her new release, Behind Closed Doors: A Guide to Help Parents and Teens Navigate Through Life’s Toughest Issues which provides an eye opening perspective to what teens and their families are facing in today’s world.

Jessica shares the main struggles her patients experience, tackles common misconceptions about the teen years and share the secret sauce to getting your teen to communicate.

Thank you for being here today. Now, let's dive into the conversation! 

Connect with Dr. Jessica Peck:

Instagram

Website

Buy her new book!

FAVORITE TAKE-AWAYS:

Stigma is a coping mechanism we have to separate ourselves from the unthinkable.

Biggest issues Dr. Jessica sees behind closed doors:

Vaping

Substance abuse

Gender identity

Self harm

Suicide

Sexting 

Disordered eating

It’s a popular misconception that teens don’t want to talk to you - that’s not true!

You can’t parent based on instant gratification - you have to plant that seed that can be harvested in a future season.

When we react in fear we hinder connection with our teens.

When we react in fear, even when it is well meaning, our teens interpret our reaction as anger against them.

Train yourself to say, “You know I really don’t know what to say, but I want you to know I love you and we will get through this together."

We don’t always have to have the right answer but our teens need to know we are present.

More teenagers die from disordered eating than any other mental health disorder.

We are imperfect children with a perfect Father and we have imperfect children being raised by imperfect parents.

The first key to good conversation with your teen is to listen before you talk.

You have old school experience but they have fresh world perspective - see what they already know and then share your perspective.

Choose a battle, not every battle.

Release your teen from the pressure of having to give you an immediate response.

My job is to be my kid’s mom and not expect them to validate my role as their mom.

The secret sauce is motivational interviewing - 

1. Listen
2. Offer open ended questions
3. Validate their emotions
4. Give them decision making autonomy

It is important that we become a safe space for our kids to come and be vulnerable.

We have to stand in our kids shoes and give them the tools they need to function in their world.

Having developmentally appropriate conversations upfront will prepare them.

Red flags to watch out for:

Distance

Isolation

Irritability

Emotional

It is never too late to try and build a healthy relationship with your teen.

1. Pray and surrender control
2. Serve your way back in without expecting validation

God is in the business of restoration.

These are the longest days and the shortest years of your life.

Embrace every stage of parenting.

Celebrate who they are and who they are going to become.

Younger children need a gatekeeper, teenagers need a coach.

Let your kids fail if it’s safe - your home is a practice environment for life.

Make sure your kids know their struggle does not define who they are.

Teens do not need your money, the latest gadgets, a dream vacation or for you to be the perfect mom - they need your time and your attention.

Teens care deeply about what you have to say about them.

If they won’t talk to you, talk to them and speak words of life.

Connect with Somer! 

Stay connected to Somer and the Love Where You Are podcast through her Facebook & Instagram! Now, go love where you are and live on mission for Jesus today.