What We Say To Ourselves Matters: Combatting Negative Self-Talk

Have you ever stopped to listen to the way you talk to yourself? Those quiet whispers of self-doubt or harsh criticism can shape your reality in ways you may not even realize. Negative self-talk isn’t just a fleeting thought—it’s a pattern that can erode confidence, fuel stress, and hold you back from living the life you deserve. But here’s the good news: with awareness and the right tools, you can challenge and transform those inner messages. Imagine replacing self-criticism with curiosity, kindness, and self-compassion and turning your inner critic into your greatest advocate. The journey starts with one simple truth—what you say to yourself matters.

In this episode, we talk about what negative self-talk looks like, how it might impact you, and how you can address it in your own life with a returning guest, Jen Baumgold. Jen is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist who specializes in trauma treatment. She is certified in EMDR and works with clients to help untangle the knots of trauma while finding a path toward healing and resilience. After graduating with her master's in social work, Jen began her career at the New York Fire Department counseling service unit, where she worked until 2016. During her time there, she provided crucial mental health support to FDYN members and their families. 

In addition to her private practice, Jen is an active member of the Fair Field Trauma Response team, a volunteer alliance of mental health professionals committed to aiding first responders and the local communities in healing from trauma, tragedy, and stress. 

Tune in!
What You Will Learn:

• [00:01] Intro and a bit about our guest today, Jen Baumgold
• [04:17] What EMDR is and how it works in healing trauma 
• [06:59] Negative self-talk and how it manifests in our daily lives
• [09:40] How negative self-talk starts and is reinforced in our life 
• [15:31] The most prevalent root cause of negative self-talk 
• [17:33] How EMDR addresses negative self-talk and why it’s so effective
• [21:41] Common examples of negative self-talk and how they show up in day-to-day 
• [27:19] Cultivating self-awareness in looking out for your own needs 
• [30:15] How negative self-talk differs from healthy self-reflection or criticism 
• [34:33] How to use curiosity as a tool for kindness and empathy 
• [38:23] Long-term emotional and mental impact of negative self-talk 
• [42:05] Steps to take to challenge and improve your self-talk 
• [43:47] Wrap up and end of the show

Standout Quotes:

• “EMDR allows things to integrate between cognitive and emotional brain so that you start to believe more adaptive message.” [18:41]
• “Our brain in trauma and survival mode don’t have access to the rational brain, so it’s going with messages of survival; when we desensitize, it allows us to connect the true beliefs about ourselves.” [20:39]
• “If we talk to ourselves in a negative, critical, and punitive way, it’s not in the service of self-improvement; it will only induce shame and survival.” [31:18]
• “Curiosity is not survival; when we’re in fight or flight mode, we can’t be curious about ourselves or anybody.” [34:59]

Let’s Connect
Jennifer Baumgold
Website: https://www.lotuspsychotherapyfc.com/jennifer-baumgold-lcsw
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-baumgold-b6ba8077Chandler Stroud
Website: https://healingheroespodcast.com/
Mixing, editing and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.