What's The Matter With Me? Podcast John Hoppin

In "Anxiety Medication Strategy Session," changing opinions on music, bouts of anxiety, recent publication in Identity Theory and Disturb the Universe, family life changes, increased mobility, and resumption of some duties.



Last Old Guy Or First New Guy?



Recently, I read a tweet by flea, and I was forced to reconsider:




https://twitter.com/flea333/status/1774601328502898936





https://youtu.be/QEgalcH_-b4?si=q7ZD6rdC4ZhfnwbY&t=1762
Pat Matheny on German jazz critics



Pat Matheny was a jazz guitarist that my stepfather really admired. For that reason, in my youth I stayed away from it. In general, I mind it less now that I am older, but I generally don't seek it out.



Sometimes, a random tweet by flea will turn decades of tradition on its head, and I'll be forced to reconsider. In an interview with Rick Beato, Pat Metheny had this to say about musical invention:




German jazz critics are great. They'll come right out and say the most direct thing. I had a guy say to me-- you know, not that long ago, maybe 10 years ago-- "Are you the last old guy, or are you the first new guy?" and the thing is, I bet you know what he means too, right? Yeah, of course.. I mean, for me, both.



Well, I don't know, I mean, you know, it's hard to be objective about your own thing, but what I will say is that, for me, there was no option other than trying to invent stuff, yeah.




Anxious feelings



I had a bout of anxious feelings and panic. I reached out to my care team and spoke over video and in-person at the office with my doctor the next day. We think it could be related to switching off of nerve-pain medication post-surgery.



Marinated Spicy Chicken Thighs Recipe







Over at Hoppin Hot Sauce, there's a new recipe for Marinated Spicy Chicken Thighs marinated in yogurt, salt, and Hoppin Hot Sauce.



"Vern" published in Identity Theory




I’m happy to announce the publication of “Vern” in Identity Theory, selected by Micro Editor Vic Nogay. Many thanks to the publisher Matt Borondy.



“Vern” is a 50-word story about the workplace injury sustained by my great grandfather, T. Vernon Smithson, at the cotton gin in Mount Juliet, Tennessee.



Identity Theory is an online magazine of literature and culture publishing interviews, prose, poetry, art, commentary, and other inventive explorations of humanity since 2000.
"Vern" published




https://twitter.com/IdentityTheory/status/1783167798942023891
Reading "Vern" for Identity Theory



"Hot Day" published in Disturb The Universe




I’m happy to announce the publication of my eco-disaster poem, “Hot Day” in Disturb The Universe Magazine, April 23, 2024. The poem takes place in a decomposing world in thrall to “inevitable circumstances/ That can’t be avoided.”



According to their website, “Disturb the Universe aims to share writing on the edge from writers strongly inhabiting their voice.” Many thanks to Editor in Chief Skaja Evens.
"Hot Day" published



Non-stop publication action



Is disguising the inevitable sinking feeling but it has to be in there, somewhere.



Domestic Emptiness



For the first time since 2020, my wife is back to the office four days a week. It's probably a big change for her. She comes home bursting with stories of her new gig. She seems very stimulated, and I think that's a good thing. Our home is empty during the day for the first time since we moved from San Jose.



More walking



I'm in my wheelchair less and less, and walking more. This week I went to the library on my own, walking in and out from the parking lot, trying to build stamina. I went to the doctor without the chair. I use it when we go to the market, any time when I'll have to do extended walking or to carry things.



Resuming Some Duties



Last week, I picked up the kids from school and picked up the vegetable box - something that I haven't done more than once or twice in the past year.



I made an appointment to get a hair cut in a co

Featuring updates on Hoppin Hot Sauce inventory, newly published writing, recuperation from surgery, the year's first barbecue, and a new family pet.



Sandman Knows Kale



Shout outs to the Sandman, who wrote in about kale and he knows more about kale than I ever will. He works with kale as a kaleologist.



Extra Hot Shortage



Buy Extra Hot Hoppin Hot Sauce from Amazon as we will be out of stock on Extra Hot in the near term, and once Amazon runs out, we're out.



Publication







Instant Noodles published my 50-word story "CYBERTRUCK DENTAL, S. DE R.L."



The link to the stuff that is published, along with what's upcoming is on the Publications page of my author site jwh.whatsthematterwithme.org



The sinking feeling you have after publication is the same one you have after you have an art opening. Everything returns to normal. Banal, mundane, normal.



But in fact, I did accomplish something. What I set out to do: become a published writer.



The thing rolls on, even: a second 50-word story will be published in a different publication next week. I recorded myself reading it in a video at the request of the editor.



Surgery Update



Looking at the calendar, it's been about 4 weeks since I had surgery. I've reduced my medication down to the pointt where I'm almost completely titrated off of the pain medications I've been taking for months.



New New Cat



We've got a new cat at the house. It's a two-month-old kitten that's part-lynx. It's in quarantine for the next 10 days, maybe more.



Barbecue







I lit the barbecue for the first time this year. Now that my meds are reduced, I feel like not as scary to grill. For the first go-around, I made skirt steak and eggplantLast night, I grilled a pork tenderloin with whole grain mustard, brown sugar and Shaoxing wine. We ate it with steamed new potatoes and boiled carrots.



Hollywood



We ordered a new juniper tree, a 'Hollywood Juniper' juniperus chinensis var. kaizuka.



Remodeling



After launching my writer's website, I'm remaking the whatsthematterwithme.org website with the same theme. If it all goes well, I could see myself redoing HoppinHotSauce.com the same way.



Gary in the press



Installation view of Gary Cannone’s Manet/Degas at Compound Yellow, Oak Park, Illinois (photo Jonas Müller-Ahlheim)



Past WTMWM? interview subject Gary Cannone got a great write-up by Lori Waxman in hyperallergic about his solo show at Compound Yellow in Oak Park, IL. Check out the Gary Cannone Interview Special here.



Gaining equilibrium



For the first time in months, I got up from the couch by myself. A couple of times



Selfie



Publication Barbecue selfie






00:00:00 - Intro



00:01:03 - Hoppin Hot Sauce Jingle



00:01:20 - Shout outs



00:02:01 - Instant Noodles Publishes \"CYBERTRUCK DENTAL, S. DE R.L.\"



00:02:34 - The feeling you have after publication is the same one you have after you have an art opening



00:03:17 - another story will publish next week



00:03:35 - Writing site at jwh.whatsthematterwithme.org



00:04:03 - RF Rhizotomy recovery update



00:06:05 - Tapering off habit-forming medications



00:07:08 - We have a new cat



00:09:03 - First barbecue this year



00:10:15 - The Way I Grill Charred Eggplant



00:12:42 - New Juniper Tree



00:13:43 - Remaking whatsthematterwithme.org



00:13:55 - gary cannone hyperallergic writeup by lri waxman



00:14:35 - getting up by myself



00:16:11 - Outro

Period of Change



Undergoing a period of change: I had surgery, I got published and I went on vacation. Plenty of new music reviews in this episode.



A word



What's The Matter With Me? Podcast is sponsored by Hoppin Hot Sauce. Order it on Amazon.



JWH Live!



Writings By John Winfield Hoppin is live, because my editor said I needed a writer's website. I think it's pretty nifty..



Selfie Edict







Subscribers get the selfie for as long as we all live. It's a lifetime subscription



Shout outs




https://twitter.com/MarchandsPetRat/status/1779926937177358503




Shout outs to Marchandspetrat, hockey s-poster living with MS



Shout outs to Rocky, Cousin Eric



Gotta write up questions



Nerve Bumps (A Queer Divine Dissatisfaction) by Dax Pierson



Upcoming interview subject Dax Pierson



Shout outs to the Sandman who turned me on to James Wavey Snowy Beach, which was added recently at KFJC.



Psychedelic hip-hop from San Francisco



James Wavey Snowy Beach by James Wavey



Publication Dream Comes True



I was accepted on a piece of writing, and for the first time I made a signed agreement. Follow JWH Live! to hear more about the writing.



In the days before surgery



In the run-up to surgery, in a lot of trigeminal neuralgia pain, I increased my dosage and I felt like it was too much. Trying to even things out, I reduced by 25% overall, and it helped return me to the land of the living.



No coffee, no ibuprofen.



On a day when I would usually be recording, I went to the hospital to have surgery, my third RF Rhizotomy and fifth neurosurgery on my trigeminal nerve overall. I had two MVD (microvascular decompression) surgeries to begin with. Recovery is much easier with rhizotomy. MVD literally bores a hole in your skull, and it takes a lot of recuperation to heal. Hospital stay from rhizotomy can be as short as a few hours.



New tunes



In advance of surgery, maybe to take my mind off it, or to give myself something to look forward to, I bought some tunes.



Opera Glossolalia



Spontaneous Musical Invention by Thomas Buckner sings Robert Ashley



Robert Ashley is a composer of 1980s opera. There's a lot of talking in the libretto. The gatefold record comes with a cool book with photos. I really like the Recital label because they have interesting packaging. The record is one of 350.



Instructions?



Whiplash by Asha Sheshadri



This record is like sound art, but at the same time it's a record. I'Layered, specific, related to site. Like getting a bunch of jumbled-up instructions for a treasure hunt, cryptic. Edition of 200.



Chewing Gqom



The Gqom Trilogy by DJ Scriby // DJ Marillo // DJ Skothan //




Gqom is known for its beats which have a minimal, raw and repetitive sound with heavy bass. It is mainly described as having a dark and hypnotic club sound. The style of beats does not use the four-on-the-floor rhythm pattern which is often heard in other house music.
"Gqom" Wikipedia article



Digging this record - I'm new to Gqom, but I like it. The release is by three different DJs, a triple EP.







Drunk in Love by Elvin Brandhi & Lord Spikeheart



This is far out. File under extreme vocal performances. The feeling is metal, but the sound is electronic. Tense, spastic. Questionable in a good way, challenging material.



Numb







Now I'm back from surgery and my face feels different. Talking and eating and I'm sure other things that I'm not noticing are affected. Familiar disassociation after surgery.



It's a matter of deciding how I feel about the things that are different. First, I have to accept them.



Updating the map



After surgery, it takes time for my body to properly calculate changes in sensation, and adjust the body's size map accordingly.



In tune



The piano is tuned



Out on my own



Drove to Oakland by myself and went to a couple of friend's houses for about 3 and 1/2 hours. It was the first time in 16 months.

In "Drugged Out," a short episode featuring wine delivery, toilet paper shortage and trigeminal neuralgia pain medication.



Long Time







Subscribers get the selfie for as long as we all shall live. It's a lifetime subscription



Green fluid



Cuts in my hands have been getting infected and filling with green goop



In Our Cups



We got the wine delivery, man, and the wine deliveryman was in his 20s, maybe his mid-20s, and he was really upset about global warming. "Things aren't l really pleasant anymore," he said.



I felt for him. "I feel for you," I said



Toilet Paper Shortage



We still have a case of Bulgarian toilet paper that has no perforations and ripping it feels like tearing up someone's college application, or well-qualified resume printed out on nice paper.



Remember back in 2020, when there wasn't toilet paper? We bought a case of Bulgarian toilet paper and it was like riving a sheet of Bristol board to rip a sheet off. There were no perforations, it was 80% normal size so it didn't fit on the roll,



Thing I Know



I watched the "Taylor Swift: Eras" movie with Koko, so I know about Taylor Swift now. Not sure what, but I know it. The movie is long, but not as long as "Killers of the Flower Moon." She gets into slang patterns thata made me uncomfortable. To get it going, I had to figure out my Disney Plus login credentials, and that, in itself, is a big bonus.



Electric Wire Buried In Flesh



I'm drugged out!



I experienced severe face pain once before bedtime, and then many times (a couple dozen?) after 4am. I cut out coffee, ibuprofen and started going up on my medicine that day, settling on twice of my usual dosage. That was too much, and I became extremely drowsy and experienced visual, balance and energy side affects. Eventually I settled around 175% of my usual dose, which. for the moment, is keeping the pain away and limiting the worst side effects.



Surgery is next week, my third RF rhizotomy. I knew this treatment could recur and that it was not necessarily permanent. Let's hope the third time's the charm.










00:00:00 - Intro



00:00:22 - Shout outs



00:01:08 - Jingle



00:02:00 - "Taylor Swift: Eras" movie review



00:02:13 - Bulgarian toilet paper



00:04:42 - Trigeminal neuralgia returns



00:07:45 - Outro



00:08:44 - Wine delivery

In "Spring Concert," an incidental return to Dry Marchuary, a chapbook's worth of poetry and the school's Spring Concert.



From chaos comes order







One way to enjoy Hoppin Hot Sauce is "On Pasta".




In the midst of near-total chaos, small rituals ground us, nourishing both body and soul.
"On Pasta" at HoppinHotSauce.com



Shout outs



Shout outs to schwabino kickin fatal aikido kung fu karate they bout to find your body you better ask somebody mymedia designer.com tell a friend to tell a friend about my media designer



See for yourself



Spring Concert Selfie



My hair is long as it's been since 2009! See for yourself above. Subscribers get the selfie e-mailed to them, they don't even have to do anything, just lay there.







It's an NFT, it's collectible, it's a blockchain. Blockchain sounds like a necklace to me



Lost Weekend Here I Come







The wine delivery is coming tomorrow. In the meantime, we've been back to "One Or Two Beers Dry January-February-Marchuary" mode, just for the past few days. Long live one or two beers Dry January



To go in your chaps



Hippie chapbooks




A chapbook is a small publication of up to about 40 pages, sometimes bound with a saddle stitch.
"Chapbook," Wikipedia



I collected what poetry I have written since I moved here in 2021. It's over 45 pages, and Wikipedia says it's enough to make a chapbook.



Let my children play music



Once upon a time in the auditorium



I went to the San Leandro Unified School District Spring Concert in my wheelchair, to see my son play trumpet in the spring concert.























Once upon a time in the auditorium







Chapter List






00:00:00 - Intro



00:02:47 - From chaos comes order



00:03:21 - Shout outs



00:04:10 - Long Hair



00:05:23 - Wine delivery



00:05:58 - Poetry Collection



00:06:57 - Chapbook



00:09:04 - Writing in Google Keep



00:09:43 - Spring Concert



00:14:27 - Attending The Concert

In “I Drove,” getting reacquainted with driving, where did kale come from and borscht out the wazoo.



Iconic trio











At Breakfast is a great time to have Hoppin Hot Sauce.




Just like the iconic trios of Larry, Curly, and Moe, or black, white, and grey, or even the Roman numerals I, II and III, eggs, English muffins and Hoppin Hot Sauce form an unforgettable trio that’s sure to become a favorite in your kitchen.




Shout outs



Shout out to Jersey Girl and Max LevelWe're going to broadcast a game show in MayI'll be the score



No matter what







Selfie



Selfie or no selfie the email is going out - grab it while you are still living, go to whatsthematterwithme.org and click subscribe



I drove



Two lane blacktop



I drove my van. First, around the block. Next, to the library, where I saw men with nowhere else to go walking around the library grounds in the rain an hour before opening. Finally, I drove to Oakland, up 580 and to Piedmont Avenue, to Cato's Ale House. I photographed it from my parking space and texted it to my buddy, lamenting that it was too early for beer. He replied, "It's never too early for beer." It's good to have friends. Shout out to Matt. Turning around, I drove back home.



Where did kale come from?



According to the "kale" page of Wikipedia\, Kale came to America in the 19th century from Croatia, brought by USDA botanist David Fairchild, who did not eat it, who detested cabbages of all sorts.



Borscht



We have a freezer full of borscht. Chock full of borscht, we have borscht coming out the wazoo. My aunt and uncle were in town and we had them over for lunch. We ate borscht.



























Two lane blacktop







Chapter List






00:00:00 - Intro



00:00:42 - At Breakfast



00:01:55 - Shout outs



00:02:56 - Selfie or no selfie



00:03:20 - I drove my car



00:04:38 - Fear of driving



00:05:41 - Men with nowhere else to go



00:08:16 - Slash at the Oscars \"I\'m Just Ken\"



00:09:41 - Where did kale come from?



00:12:11 - Dax Pierson interview upcoming



00:13:07 - Borscht



00:13:35 - Aunt and Uncle ate borscht



00:14:09 - Losing



00:14:34 - Outro