When Love Shows Up: Weekly Reflections about God's Presence The Episcopal Church of the Redeemer

How hard can that be? Get some ketchup from the grocery store.

Problem was, there in front of me, staring at me like a Martian in a nightmare of inundation, were exactly fourteen different types of ketchup: classic, sugar free, spicy jalapeno, carrot ketchup, no-mato, restaurant style, chili-pepper ketchup, ketchup with a blend of veggies, curry ketchup, Tapatio, habanero, rainbow ketchup for kids, some fancy pants organic stuff in a glass jar, and the ever present Heinz 57.

I stood there looking at each one. The list just said "ketchup." So, which one do I choose?

I started reading nutrition labels and checking prices. I felt my heart rate increase steadily as I broke into a cold sweat.

Seven years later I returned to New Orleans. This time I was officiating the wedding. At the rehearsal dinner, the father of the bride found out I'd never had raw oysters. He told me tonight I'd be eating ten of them. So, I did. After the rehearsal dinner, I accompanied the wedding party down filthy funky Bourbon St. It was a Friday night, and I was in my clericals. Revelers and strippers threw beads at me and cheered the priest simply for being in their midst. What is this place and what am I doing here? As the gathering was winding down, I stopped by a nearby cigar shop and a group of guys from New Jersey celebrating their buddy's birthday told me I was their priest now and I was coming with them. I became their sober religious mascot for the rest of the evening. I still talk with some of them on Facebook. That wedding was one of my all-time favorites. The couple were natives to New Orleans, and their love and affection for each other, for their families, for their friends, for their city just poured out of them.

The third time I went to New Orleans I had a steak so good I didn't eat red meat again for a month. That is not hyperbole. It was the literal best meal I have ever had, and like visiting the grave of Jesus, I don't like saying much about it because I don't want to sully something so meaningful with my pitiful words.

New Orleans. It is both otherworldly and perfectly grounded. Magical and real. Gorgeous and grimy. Warm and scary. Joyous and dangerous. Poverty and wealth and theft and murder and marriage and joy and death and life and, dear God above, food and music and food and music!

For all I've said here, I don't feel like I have a right to talk about New Orleans. It doesn't belong to me. The people I've since met who are from there, maybe it doesn't even belong to them so much as they belong to it. In some ways, my experience of New Orleans was not unlike my trip to the Holy Land of Palestine and Israel. Before I went, I had no experience and knew exactly what I thought. After going, I knew so much less and loved so much more. These places and these people - they don't need my opinions and they don't need me. There is so much life to be lived if I can love without judgment, if I can just go and see.

Want to support our podcast?

Give Here https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast

My guest today is the Reverend Dr. Herschel Wade. Herschel is the Associate for Discipleship here at the Church of the Redeemer, and I am so grateful for him. He has been with us for just a few short months in this job and he's still relatively new to the priesthood, but he brings so much to the table, so much passion, so much energy, so much joy and laughter, and so much thoughtfulness.

When he opens his mouth you are going to laugh and you're going to think that is going to happen. I'm so grateful for that. His sermons remind me daily. Every time I hear him preach, I am reminded of the importance of prayer. Obedience to Christ following Jesus no matter what. And he's lived that in his own life.
He's lived out and he continues to live out the desire to follow Jesus. No matter what this position associate for discipleship is new at church of the Redeemer, but it's important for us. To focus as we move forward into the next chapter of our church's life, to focus on our following our discipleship, our decision to pick up our crosses and follow Jesus for our entire lives.
And I believe Herschel is just the person to help us understand how to do that. I'm so grateful for him and grateful for him contributing to the podcast today. I hope you'll enjoy it.While growing up, my life at home was never peaceful or stable. My father ran the streets and slept around with other women. He spent little time at home. When he was at home, he physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused my mother and beat us regularly at the drop of a dime. My mother turned full-alcoholic and gave up on everything except trying to keep my father from leaving for good. The long fight to keep him and endure the abuse would effectively break her spirit and strip her of her remaining dignity. She never seemed to recover.

Somehow through the beatings, I hit a breaking point. I grew tired of watching him beat my mother while courting and pampering other women, who could not have loved my father as much as my mother did. One night stands out in my mind. Like a crazy fool, I attempted to stop one of my father's attacks on my mother. He was beating her on our front porch for the world to see, again. "Leave my mama alone Goddammit. Leave my mother alone!" My father chased me down the street. You damn right to assume he did not catch me. Had he caught me, the chance of me being able to retell this story would be less zero! The effects were no less devastating. My father kicked me out of the house; my mother packed my bags. Sadly, my actions that night would have long lasting effects on my younger sister. She, too, caught the "I don't give a damn bug" and cussed my father out minutes after my departure. She would depart in the same way I did that night. She was twelve and would not return for years--yes, years.

Want to support our podcast?

Give Here https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast

My relationship with silence is complicated. I know silence is important. I know it's healthy. I know silence is conducive to prayer and meditation, to peace and reflection. I also just really like noise of all kinds. I like the sound of things happening, I like hearing people talking. Even when they're not talking to me: I like to go places where people are talking to each other and just hear different voices and snippets of different conversations. I love all accents - even the ones you think are ugly.

Mostly I love music. It is playing most of the time I am awake, and even when at bedtime I often play music very quietly. My entire sophomore year of college my roommate and I fell asleep to the same album every night. It was Bob Dylan's World Gone Wrong.

I would not say I'm afraid of silence - at least I don't think I am. I even enjoy it sometimes. But I forget about it. I forget silence is an option.

I think I'm about to remember. As you are reading this I am on sabbatical. Don't worry: I'm not working. I wrote this before I left. But the very first thing I'm doing during this sabbatical is going on a 4-day silent retreat. Four whole days without talking to anyone or listening to anyone. No kids around. No spouse. No work. No music. I will be at a monastery and retreat center in Kentucky called The Abbey of Gethsemani. It is run by Cistercian monks who are apparently very serious about their silence. It's going to be very quiet.

Maybe I am actually a little afraid.

Want to support our podcast?

Give Here https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast

If you had asked me growing up if meals were a big deal in my house, I would have shrugged my shoulders. My parents didn't look me in the eye and say, "This matters!" And I ate in front of the TV as often as they would let me. But looking back, I see it differently. My father loved to cook. And for the first 13 years of my life, when my parents were still together and especially before my older brothers moved out, Dad would try to get us around the table when he was home. Throughout much of the 80's he was away on business, sometimes half of each month. But when he was home, he would cook as often as possible, and we would all sit together around the kitchen table and eat. He would insist I take my hat off, no matter what kind of rat's nest was hiding underneath.

I always thought he was doing that just for himself, that he loved to cook. And he did. But I'm Dad now, and I have a demanding job too. And now I know that part of loving to cook is the fact that I am feeding people I love, that I am potentially making something they will actually enjoy, and that I am nourishing them and caring for them in a real and practical way. I don't always feel it in the moment, and I don't say it every time. And my kids would love to eat in front of the TV as often as possible. But when I have the energy, I gather them around the table, and hats come off, and we hold hands, and someone prays. And sometimes they like it and sometimes they don't. But it's always I love you. I see that now.

Want to support our podcast?

Give Here https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast

As part
of our When Love Shows Up Throwback Series we are re-posting this podcast which
was originally posted on May 12, 2023


Where is God when things are terrible? Where is God when I
pray for the healing of a loved one and they get sicker? Where is God when I
pray for
their healing and they die instead? Where is God when people are
being torn apart by AR-15 bullets?


Where is God?


I ask this question a lot, and I get asked it a lot. A
friend who is really going through it recently asked me, and followed up by
saying they were not asking rhetorically. It's not a new question.
Some biblical scholars believe that the Book of Job is the earliest story in
our Scriptures. Which means not only is "Where is God?" not a new question - it
might be the oldest question anyone who believed in God ever asked. And it's important
to remember that "Where is God?" is asked most frequently by people
who believe in God, because we often think it's a question rooted
either in faithlessness or cynicism. But in my experience it is one
of the most faithful questions anyone can ask.


Where is God?


I need to tell you that I will not answer this
question in anything like a satisfactory way. So please know that going
forward. Just the same, my first answer is that God is with us. This is
the stated belief of the Christian - even when we don't understand,
even when we question, even when we doubt, even when we are furious with God.
God is with us. When I was growing up, the spectacular Bette Midler sang, "God
is watching us from a distance." It was beautiful and it was believable,
but it was also not true - at least not according to the Christian narrative.
We say that God is here right now.


Want to support our
podcast?

Give Here https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast