X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

I'm Scot and she's Emily. We're the dating coaches you know and love over at X & Y Communications. Join us for the most heartfelt and action-packed dating podcast on planet Earth. We hit the ground running every show with solid dating and relationship tips from the unique (and often hilarious) perspective of BOTH genders. Less fluff = good stuff. And get this...we never resort to getting trashy. Squeaky clean and a class act all the way. How's that for unique? Grab a listen! And be sure to get in on our newsletter at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com. If you like the podcasts you'll love our newsletter. You can also find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily. We both also welcome your feedback and program ideas at scotandemily@scotandemily.com or via voicemail at +1 (210) 362-4400. Call or write to us! We appreciate ratings and reviews on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere. Thank you to everyone for your terrific support of this show for the past nineteen years!

  1. 10月25日

    Episode 79--X & Y On The Fly--Is That A Dealbreaker?

    Okay, I'm going to admit right up front that Emily and I obviously believe relationships are worth getting into, since we've shared a great one together for almost 19 years. But we also completely get that YOU might not be like US. In this episode we acknowledge all the legit reasons why perfectly good, decent and sane people might just swear off getting into any kind of relationship at all with MOTOS, let alone long-term ones. For starters, we talk about how this isn't our grandparents' world anymore and how that affects people's perspectives on relationships. How can either a man OR a woman have a valid point in this context? Even though it may seem sad to think that people are out there completely giving up on finding the relationship they actually want, what if there are folks who really do NOT want that in their lives...and they're simply saying 'no' to societal pressure to conform? Does that societal pressure even exist anymore, by the way? Even if you ARE relationship minded, is it okay to think these thoughts? And well, what are the good reasons to get into a relationship? And why stay in one if it's going poorly? On a related note, is arguing and bickering a sign the relationship's in trouble...or could it be the exact opposite? Well, the easy answer (demanding more elaboration, which we offer) is 'it depends'. Stay tuned as we make the case for getting everything off your chest as perhaps the healthiest sign of all that the relationship is a healthy one. It's just a shame that too many couples never even realize that level of intimacy is open to them. Get on our calendar and talk to us for FREE at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

  2. 8月15日

    Episode 79--X & Y On The Fly--Is That A Dealbreaker?

    In this episode Emily and I address the sticky topic of dealbreakers in a relationship. Is having too many dealbreakers--or focusing on them--a dealbreaker in and of itself? You know, the 'don't bother' chick, for example? Is being 'high maintenance' a dealbreaker? And if so, what does that even mean? On the other hand, should not having any dealbreakers be a dealbreaker? Next, we list a full litany of good, solid dealbreakers that just about everyone can agree on. Does a couple have to be truly compatible, even if they're only down for a short-term fling? What if you and your partner differ on what terms like 'fidelity' and 'cheating' actually mean...specifically? How about if a behavioral 'dealbreaker' happens without it ever having been discussed as such previously? Should third-parties have any say in what your dealbreakers are as a couple? And hey, what are some specific example of unreasonable dealbreakers? Can there even be such a thing given the reality of personal preference relative to attraction? What's the case for and against building a list of checkboxes prospective mates must tick? But on the other hand, if we don't bother to even think of what we're looking for, how are we supposed to get it? What's the balance? And with that in mind, why do so many people pretty much run away from ever having to evaluate the potential of the relationship they're entering? And what if one of your dealbreakers automatically eliminates a massive percentage of your potential dating pool? As you can see, there's plenty to talk about surrounding this topic...and we pretty much cover it all. Download the free book Dealing With Breakups and more when you visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

  3. 6月7日

    Episode 78--X & Y On The Fly--Kickin' It Old Skool With My Baby

    First and foremost, if you think even for a second that this episode is going to be about two dinosaurs reminiscing about the past, you're in for a surprise. Given that we've been totally immersed in dating and relationship stuff for nearly 20 years, we've had our fingers on the pulse of how men and women relate for a LONG time. On top of that, with a milestone high school reunion coming up this year, I've found myself thinking about how dating and relating has evolved...and surprised myself with a few key revelations. With all of that in mind, we have an honest, eye-opening conversation featuring straight talk about what we're GLAD isn't going on anymore. And yes, we also find a few examples of really good stuff that used to happen that just doesn't anymore. For instance, what good has the Internet done...but at what cost? How did 'hookup culture' change the game? How about pharmaceutical technology, of all things? At what time in history were women the most attractive? Were some of the styles and behaviors of the past that we cringe at when we see old pictures really BETTER, not WORSE? Was dating really drudgery, and whatever it has evolved (or devolved?) into really better? Have men forgotten how to be attractive? (Expect surprising answers on that one.) Is the post-modern version of seduction and courtship really different? What about texting vs. the now lost art of the phone call? Let's just say those questions were merely the warmup. Look forward to an entertaining yet brutally honest take on what should be brought back vs. what should be left in the past. Talk to us for 25 minutes FREE, download our FREE book on how to handle breakups and MORE at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

  4. 3月29日

    Episode 77--X & Y On The Fly--Underrated Ways To Know You've Found "The One"

    Lots of dating and relationship advice talks about how to know when you've finally met the right partner to build a long-term relationship with. And yes, by now we know the basics about attraction, 'chemistry', sexual compatibility, shared values, shared life goals, avoiding 'red flags' and every other success factor we've heard a thousand times. Nevertheless, the divorce rate remains through the roof...even as more and more people in the Western world are giving up on relationships in general. But as you know, around here we believe statistics are most often weaponized by victimhood. Couples who last couldn't care less why others fail because they're built differently. You see, most long-term relationships--especially marriages--should never happen to begin with. The ones that last tend to go above and beyond the mere basics of attraction and compatibility. Couples who are built to last have discovered certain "hidden", or at least underestimated truths about what makes them right for each other. We're talking about a man and a woman here who don't feel like they have to 'work' to stay together; rather they GET to share life together taking on life's inevitable challenges as a team. In this episode we lift the veil on these very specific keys to knowing you've found 'The One' that almost nobody ever talks about. Some may sound optimistic, others downright cynical. And there are few you might not even believe ever really appear in real life. But after eighteen years of genuinely adoring each other, the one thing that's undeniable is at the very least you're hearing first-hand from a couple who still adore each other after all this time for far more reasons other than the mere basics. Have you been listening to the show for ages, and have always been meaning to get on out calendar and talk to us? Finally make it happen--for free, of course--at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

  5. 1月19日

    Episode 76--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships With Someone Younger

    Finally, here's the full episode on a topic that everyone wonders about. It's no secret that men often want to date younger women. But what is it about those guys who are actually successful at doing so? And is it really true that many amazing young women actually prefer older men? First off, what actually counts as an 'older man' to a younger woman? Does the 'half your age plus seven' rule make any sense? What if our mental images and/or stereotypes about what an older man and younger woman look like as a couple are challenged? Above and beyond all of that, what are some legit factors to consider when there's an age gap? I mean, is age really 'just a number'? What's up with dating sites only for people over fifty...is that what the market is really looking for? And speaking of online dating, how about those sites that specialize in 'sugar daddy' arrangements? Is there something to be said for being an 'old soul', looking for someone who's a better fit at an older age? Or is it that younger women like older men because 'little boys don't grow up'? Wait a minute...on that note, is it that men who prefer younger women really only want a tighter, sexually fit body to have sex with? Or is there more to both what younger women and older men tend to be looking for? And what about the 'skeletons in the closet' as we get older, and the effect it has on dating someone younger? What if older guy's new young wife wants to have kids? And is younger wife still gonna be 'all in' when her husband is old and in need of care while she's still young and active? And wait a minute...what about the newest trend of older women basically demanding a younger man to go out with? What's driving that? Pick your time to talk to us 1-on-1, download the free book and more when you go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

  6. 2023/11/10

    Episode 75--X & Y On The Fly--First Date Weirdness? You Are NOT Alone

    If you've been out there dating for any time at all, you've likely compiled your fair share of weird dating stories. It's easy to think that those situations could only happen to you, and you've GOT to be the only one. But guess what? PLENTY of apparent weirdness on first dates is tons more common than you probably guess. This time around Emily and I recount not only a few of our own most bizzaro stories, but those of others we've heard from over the years. You can likely guess we started off with tales of gross misrepresentation and false advertising online. That topic is closely followed by talk about those awkward instances when only one of you thinks the date went well. Backlash when it didn't go well? We've got you covered. What about when they won't go away quietly? And don't forget those completely inappropriate demonstrations of or impatience about sexuality up front...or the opposite, taking FOREVER to make a move. What if your date (or you) are too flirty with everyone else? What if they become drunk and stupid...is that their "real self"? How is a date supposed to go well if the guy talks about his Mommy all the time (or worse)? Have you ever had a date bring unexpected "guests"...either literally or figuratively? What are the signs they're not even in the same reality as you? Maybe you're better off if they do, in fact, leave with someone else (as we finally get around to talking about as well). Get on our calendar and let's make a plan for YOU to get your dating life solved in 2024. https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

  7. 2023/09/01

    Episode 74--X & Y On The Fly--Creepy People

    We've all found ourselves out on a date with someone who creeped us out. And no...it's not gender-specific. But what does 'creepy' even mean? Why is it often so hard to define? Well, in this episode we break down exactly what constitutes such infamous creepy behavior...and how it tends to impact men and women differently. Is it possible some people don't even realize they're being creepy? Do others know for sure they are in fact creeps, but like it that way? What's more, why is it perfectly normal guys are often so concerned they're going to come across as creepy? How do we relax and avoid that worry...lest it weirdly become a self-fulfilling prophecy? What is the difference between male creepy behavior and the female version? How many women out there have somehow convinced themselves it's impossible for them to be creepy? Stay tuned for the one shining example of how the absolute best of intentions can actually backfire spectacularly and seem insanely creepy. What are the warning signs that the person you're with is starting to get creeped out? Next, Emily creeps me out in real time by randomly shifting the discussion to disgusting bodily functions...and in doing so makes a really good point. What kind of behavior might be creepy when you barely know someone, but completely normal and okay once you've been around each other for a while? And why is that? Under what rare circumstances could a certain person get away with something socially that would be creepy if nearly anyone else did it? If a first date is going in a creepy direction, is there any way to salvage it? Is 'Mr. Nice Guy' creepy to women? How can a man who by all appearances should be the most attractive to women easily end up being the creepy guy instead...for the same reasons? And why is is that whether we move too quickly or too slowly sexually, we're creepy? Get on our calendar and talk to us. The first 25 minutes is free: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

  8. 2023/06/23

    Episode 73--X & Y On The Fly--What Does A Normal Relationship Look Like?

    Every couple thinks and behaves differently. You've probably thought and behaved differently depending on who your significant other was at a particular time in history. But for sure there are, well...'standards' that tend to rule any polite, public conversation about how men and women typically are when they're a couple, and what's 'normal'. So then, what IS 'normal'? Is there really such a thing? And if so, is that really what's BEST in a particular relationship...especially for YOU and your partner? After all, sometimes 'normalcy' is unhappy. What kind of feelings should a couple have for each other? Can initial attraction and 'chemistry' possibly be a bad or dangerous thing, as some so-called experts say? On the other hand, is there any merit to the idea of 'learning to love each other'? And how do 'normal' couples behave? Is it healthy to 'fight', as some dating coaches have suggested? Or should you always be 'shiny and happy' instead? Surely, there has to be some middle ground, right? And what about jealousy...how much of that is 'normal'? Is total equality between men and women the new norm for most couples? And what about sex? Does any idea of what's 'normal' go completely out the window behind closed doors...or are most of us actually a lot more normal than we think we are? Get all the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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簡介

I'm Scot and she's Emily. We're the dating coaches you know and love over at X & Y Communications. Join us for the most heartfelt and action-packed dating podcast on planet Earth. We hit the ground running every show with solid dating and relationship tips from the unique (and often hilarious) perspective of BOTH genders. Less fluff = good stuff. And get this...we never resort to getting trashy. Squeaky clean and a class act all the way. How's that for unique? Grab a listen! And be sure to get in on our newsletter at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com. If you like the podcasts you'll love our newsletter. You can also find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily. We both also welcome your feedback and program ideas at scotandemily@scotandemily.com or via voicemail at +1 (210) 362-4400. Call or write to us! We appreciate ratings and reviews on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere. Thank you to everyone for your terrific support of this show for the past nineteen years!

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